Page 11 of Almost Beautiful (Beautiful 3)

“No,” I said, keeping my voice low. “I know you’re worried about me. I know that. But Travis … You can’t say things like that in front of him. He’s still worried this isn’t real or that I’m going to change my mind. I’m just as surprised as you are, Mare, but I really am so happy. I promise.”

“That’s all I needed to know. I won’t ask again. About any of it.”

“That’s why you’re thebestbest friend ever.”

“That’s true. I am. You’re so lucky.”

I grinned.

America pressed a few buttons, and the dishwasher began to buzz and hum. She dried her hands and stood behind me, cupping my shoulders to pull my back against her chest. Her chin gently pressed into the crook of my neck, and then she kissed my cheek. “The investigation will be over soon. Everything’s going to be fine.”

“I know,” I said, still looking down at the sink.

I dumped a small pool of blue dish soap into my palm, scrubbing my already pruning skin. As serious as I had perceived our problems in the past, we were in real trouble—both of us—because if Travis went down, we both would.

I had just lied to police detectives, obstructed justice, aided and abetted, not to mention been a willing accessory before, during, and after-the-fact. But I was willing to accept the consequences, whatever they were, if it meant Travis had even a chance of avoiding prison. I glanced over my shoulder at my husband.

He was standing with his bulky, inked arms crossed over his middle, chatting with his cousin. He turned his red baseball cap backward, shifting his weight from one leg to the other like he couldn’t stand still.

Shepley had a calming effect on Travis, and he was talking him down from whatever ledge Travis was on.

I smiled and looked down at the water running over my hands, washing the suds away, wishing my hands were truly clean.

“Okay, Shep, we’re all done,” America said.

She walked over to Travis, giving him a big hug, and long after it would’ve been natural for her to let go, she held on.

Travis looked to me, and I smiled. He playfully hooked his arm around her neck and kissed her hair. “We good?”

She let go and looked up and him. “Are we?”

Travis turned somber. “We’re family, Mare. No matter what, at the end of the day, we’ll always be good.”

She hugged him one more time, then Shepley did, too, and they waved at me before heading for the Charger parked outside.

Travis walked into the kitchen, leaning his backside against the counter and crossing his arms. “She feels bad, huh?”

“She does. Sometimes her mouth works faster than her brain. She didn’t realize how it sounded when she said it.”

“I’m glad she said it.”

“You are?”

“You haven’t really talked about it … the fire. I wouldn’t have known you felt all that had she not.”

I sighed. “I just feel like if I keep it all in, it’s not so … terrifying.” I turned to face the sink. “You’re right, though. I need to communicate better. I can’t keep saying we’re in this together if you didn’t even know how I felt during the fire.”

He walked up behind me, wrapping his arms around my middle. “I mean, I knew a little. I didn’t know that part. I’m glad you know, and you have proof. I do love you more than my own life. I’ll always protect you.”

“It goes both ways, baby. You have to let me protect you sometimes, too.”

The sun was beginning to set, casting a warm glow through the windowpane that sat over the sink. My view consisted of the parking lot, the apartment units farther down, and the tops of the campus buildings peeking just over the trees a couple of miles away.

The sky was still hazy from the smoke that had bellowed from Keaton Hall just a few days before. The fire was one of the most frightening experiences of my life, but I had lived. The fear that was just a memory for me had consumed the final moments of so many of our classmates.

“Can you still hear it?” I asked. “The screaming?”

“Every night.”