Page 76 of All This Time

Shit. I forgot all about the party Fletcher and I have yet to plan.

Well, someone has been keeping you rather distracted lately, Laney.

I mentally think over my schedule, wondering when I’m going to fit planning a party in there. But I’ve made lemonade out of lemons before, so I’m not too stressed about it. “Yeah, that should be fine.”

“Thanks. It’ll be a sleepover since I’m working the night shift.”

“Not a problem. We’ll have a movie night.”

My father clears his throat. “You haven’t forgotten about yoga at the winery on Tuesday, have you?”

“No, Dad. I’ll be there.”

He cranes his neck from side to side. “Good, because there’s no way I can do that stuff. I’ll end up with a broken hip.”

Laughter bubbles out of me. “You act like you’re eighty.”

“Some days I feel like it, Laney. But nonetheless, fifty-seven is still a risky age.”

“I heard yoga-related injuries are on the rise too,” Rhonan interjects sarcastically.

“Then how about you put on some spandex and join the fun?” my father chides.

Rhonan tsks as he shakes his head. “No can do. Sheriff duty calls.”

My father glares at him. “How convenient.”

“Oh stop, you two. You know if Mom were here, she’d make you both participate, video tape it, and then keep it for blackmail if need be.”

My father’s mouth spreads into a wistful smile. “Sounds about right.” But as his smile fades, melancholy rests between us, reminding us of her absence even though we’re all aware of it every minute of every day.

Even after all these years, grief still sneaks up on us when we least expect it. It’s not sharp like it used to be, but it’s always under the surface, flaring up in moments like this.

“Daddy?” Ellis comes back into the garage, still wearing her bike helmet.

“Yes, sweet pea?”

“Can I have cavities?”

My father and I share a look.

“Cavities?” I ask.

Rhonan sighs. “I made the mistake of telling her that candy gives her cavities, so now that’s what she calls it.” He clears his throat while walking up to his daughter. “Only two pieces.”

“But I want five.”

“Well, then you need to get back on the Elsa bike and try riding again.”

“Bribery? Really?” I mutter out of the side of my mouth.

My father shoves his hands in his pockets while shrugging. “Until you’ve had kids, you can’t judge, Laney. You and your brother would do some crazy things for sugar.”

The dull ache that rests in my chest from the reminder that I’m nowhere near close to being a mom finds its way right to the center.

Fooling around with Fletcher might feel good in the moment, but it’s not going to get me closer to the life that I want. Am I stupid for wasting time on him when I could be investing time in a man that I can actually see a future with?

I still haven’t responded to his texts. Maybe I’m entirely too naïve to think that enjoying a physical relationship is going to help solve this lull I’ve found myself settling into.