Page 26 of All The Time You Need (Magic of Time #1)
“That’s a new look for you, isn’t it?” Peter Gordon dropped a perfunctory kiss on Annie’s cheek as he took her suitcase from her hand and turned toward the big exit doors. “I didn’t think you liked changes.”
Annie smiled to herself. Peter was about to learn that the clothing she wore was only an outward manifestation of the changes Annie had embraced.
“And speaking of that, I’m surprised that you cut your trip short. Maybe on the way to your house you can tell me about that, as well as explaining to me the mystery of why I couldn’t just send a car to pick you up and take you home.”
There it was, the irritation Annie had expected to be just below the surface of Peter’s always-calm exterior.
“Sorry to tear you away from your preferred mistress,” she said.
“Ann!” he exclaimed, sounding truly offended. “What an outrageous thing for you to say. You know perfectly well there is no other woman in my life.”
Yes, she did know. And, lucky for Peter, by the time they reached her parents’ home, there was going to be one less.
She stayed quiet as he helped her into the car and loaded in her suitcase. He slid into the driver’s seat and put the key into the ignition, but didn’t start the engine. When he turned toward her, the expression he wore signaled that the conversation they were about to have was going to go a lot more easily than she had worried it might.
“Look, Ann, I don’t know what you expect from me, but you need to understand that I can’t always drop everything at a moment’s notice to cater to your every whim. We’re in the middle of some delicate negotiations to obtain mineral rights to the property we’re taking on. I should be at the office right now to make sure that no vital details end up falling in the cracks. It’s offensive that you would assume I’m interested in someone else just because I’m irritated that I had to leave what I was supposed to be doing to come get you. This is about responsibility, not about some other woman.”
“I know that, Peter,” she said, laying a hand on his forearm and withdrawing the hand when the skin beneath her touch flinched. “Don’t be offended. It was your work I was referring to as your preferred mistress, not some rival female.”
“Oh,” he replied, blinking at her a few times before reaching to turn on the ignition.
Annie placed her hand over his, stopping him. This was as good a place as any to level with the man she was supposed to marry in a month.
“Let me ask you something, and, before you say anything, I need you to be absolutely honest in your answer. Do you really want to marry me, Peter? Do you love me?”
A new round of blinking ensued, as if his brain fought to interpret the words she’d used.
“I don’t understand, Ann. I asked you to be my wife, didn’t I?”
The similarity between his response to the same question she’d asked Alex only days before took her breath away for an instant, reminding her of the heavy, empty hole in her heart.
“That’s not an answer.”
Another series of blinks, followed by a heavy sigh. “Then I give up, Ann. What is it that you want me to say?”
With a vision of Alex swimming just behind her eyes, and a pain that felt as fresh as it had when she’d placed the stone heart into the bench, she had no desire to drag out this conversation. It was always best to rip the bandage off quickly. Less pain all around that way.
“Let me make this easy for you by turning the questions around as if you’d asked them of me. Do I really want to marry you? Do I love you? No, I really don’t. I came home early to call off the wedding.”
Annie let her hand slip away from Peter’s, and he started the engine, maneuvering the car from the parking garage and onto the highway in complete silence.
They were within minutes of Annie’s home before he finally spoke.
“Oh, man, Ann, your mother is going to be so pissed.”
That thought had crossed Annie’s mind more than once in the last day and a half.
“Why do you think I wanted you to pick me up at that airport? I wanted you there as backup when I told her.” She might not love Peter, but she did consider him a friend. “And then we have to break the news to your mother, too.”
The glare he sent her direction told her he hadn’t considered that prospect yet.
“From all the cars up there, it looks like the whole damn family is here,” he muttered as he turned the car into the long drive leading up to Annie’s house. “Aw, Christ. There’s my mom’s car.”
Probably wouldn’t be the best time to confess to him that she’d called home and asked her brother to have everyone waiting when she returned. But, in line with her new pull-the-bandage-off-quickly plan of action, breaking the news to everyone at once was the best she could think to do. This would all be over soon.
“Wait a second,” she said as Peter opened his door to get out.
She reached into her purse, pulled out the engagement ring Peter had given her and handed it back to him. Finding it in the bag Lissa had given her had only confirmed that she was doing the right thing.
Peter stared at the ring for a moment before taking it and slipping it into his pocket.
By the time it occurred to Annie that she hadn’t even asked him how he felt about her decision, they were walking through the front door and she was swarmed by both their mothers.
“I’m so pleased that you finally came to your good senses and came home to help get ready for the big day,” her mother said, her expression conveying all the self-assured victory she worked so hard to keep out of her voice.
“She’s come to her senses, all right,” Peter said from behind her. “And thank God one of us did.”
Maybe he wasn’t too upset with her after all.
“Your timing is just right,” her mother continued. “We were planning to get together this week anyway, to make final adjustments to the candle and flower arrangements.”
“Beth and I still have some issues with one another about which family members are doing what,” Peter’s mom added, her laugh seeming almost an afterthought.
With a glance back to Peter, Annie faced her family and prepared to give them the news. Her brother leaned against the wall near the passageway to the kitchen, apparently planning a quick exit if necessary. Both Peter’s sisters waited on the sofa, looking uncomfortable and bored. Even Annie’s quiet cousin Emily had been drawn into the process, though she apparently tried to make herself as inconspicuous as possible, huddled on the window seat, clutching a big pillow in front of her like a shield.
Annie drew in a deep breath and exhaled, straightening her back and pasting a smile on her face. “I decided—”
“We decided,” Peter interrupted, stepping up beside her and placing a hand on her shoulder.
“Right,” she said, giving her ex-fianc é a grateful smile. “We decided that marriage isn’t the right thing for us. I’m really sorry for all the trouble you’ve all gone to, but the wedding is off.”
Her family’s response was pretty much exactly what Annie had expected. A laughing dismissal of their ridiculous case of nerves followed by lots of shouting and tears from both the mothers when they realized she was serious and that there was no changing her mind. All followed by threats of how their fathers would react when they got here.
None of it mattered now. Annie had done what she’d come to do, and now all she wanted was to escape to her room and sleep.
Ignoring the high-pitched cacophony behind her, she headed up the stairs and down the hall to the room she’d called her own her whole life. Inside, she closed the door and leaned against it, eyes closed, waiting for the solace she’d always felt here to fill her. When it didn’t come, she crossed to her bed and sat down on the edge.
How silly of her. Of course there was no relief, no solace here for her now. She’d put away her childhood when she’d decided it was time to deal with the world as any adult should. This place wasn’t home anymore. Home was over four thousand miles away.
And she couldn’t wait to go back.
A timid knock at the door brought her to her feet. She ignored her first instinct–to run–and prepared herself for whatever she was about to confront.
“Come in.”
The door opened and her cousin Emily peeked her head inside.
“I thought I’d see how you’re doing after…well, after all that down there.” Emily nodded toward the door as if that explained what she meant. “Believe me, I know what you’re going through. I just thought you might need someone to talk to.”
Shy, quiet Emily had always been Annie’s favorite cousin, though she was a couple of years younger than Annie. But not even that favored status would allow the young woman to understand how Annie really felt. No one knew the hollowed-out emptiness eating away at her.
Apparently, the expression she wore conveyed what she was thinking.
“Okay, so maybe I don’t know exactly what you’re going through,” Emily acknowledged as she crossed the room, her arms crossed protectively under her breasts. “I haven’t been maneuvered into getting engaged to someone I don’t really want to marry. Not yet, anyway. But my mom is your mom’s sister, and they’re both cut from identical material. I do know that the pressure to be perfect, to conform to whatever their idea of perfect is, never ends.”
Of all the people in the world who could even come close to understanding, her cousin was probably the best one.
“Thanks, Emmie,” Annie said, reaching out to take her cousin’s hand to lead her to the window seat. “I appreciate your concern. I’m completely exhausted, but I’m okay. At least, I will be in a couple of days when I go back to Scotland.”
“You’re not staying here?” Emily’s eyes rounded with surprise. “That’s going to go over about as well as your last big announcement.”
Annie chuckled in spite of herself in response to her cousin’s major understatement. “You got that right. But whether it’s something you can understand or not, I need to make this change. I need to be away from all this.”
“Oh, I understand.” Emily’s responding smile was more sad than anything. “Why do you think I jumped at the chance to come here to help your mom out while you were away? No matter what I had to do, being able to escape my mom for a few weeks was totally worth it. Escape has always been my friend.”
“I’m not escaping,” Annie corrected. She’d given up escape as a means of dealing with life. “Escaping only delays the inevitable. Somewhere along the way, you have to confront your problems to change them. I’m just finally making a change.”
“Good for you,” Emily said, giving her a hug before rising to stand. “I’ll let you get some rest now.”
“Thanks for coming up to check on me. I appreciate it.”
At the door, Emily stopped and looked back. “I really am proud of you for taking charge of your life, Annie. I only hope that one of these days I can be brave enough to follow in your footsteps.”
Silence echoed in the room after Emily left, and Annie pulled back the covers to climb into bed, not bothering to change her clothes. A few hours of sleep and she’d be good as new, ready to face all she needed to do to prepare for her big move.
She felt confident about her decisions. Confident about her choice to confront the situation head-on before she made the changes she’d decided upon. Though her broken heart guaranteed that she’d never be completely happy again, at least she now faced a life that would give her contentment.
“Contentment’s good enough,” she muttered defiantly, snuggling down into the soft covers, eagerly anticipating the approaching bliss of sleep.
Though she might settle for simple contentment in real life, sleep allowed her more. Sleep brought dreams, and dreams returned her to the place where she experienced true happiness, safe and secure in the arms of the man she would always love.