Chapter thirteen

A Breath of Fresh Air

I t took another week before Cass was satisfied that I could be trusted wandering about the grounds of the palace myself without being snatched up by some sadistic Fae. It helped that the Queen had formally introduced us all as her honored guests at a holy feast just three nights prior. That had been the last time I’d seen Lark and the first time in weeks before. He had looked resplendent in his deepest black as always, looking bored at his place beside the Queen as he swirled the wine around his glass and spoke to her in low tones.

I had tried not to watch them and failed.

But now I was going on a walk through their sacred garden, needing to get out of the room for some fresh air and to escape the tedious loneliness of our room now that Cass was off on some errand that Lark had tasked her with.

So I was in a particularly foul mood that afternoon as I stared up at a statue of one of their saints, arms crossed, glaring at her and the way she reached out as if to save all lost souls.

“I was wondering where you’d gotten to.”

His voice froze me to the spot. I dug my nails into my arms where they were and bit my lip hard to keep from saying something I might regret, trying to remind myself that I had no reason to be angry with him, not really.

“I went to your room but you weren’t there,” Lark added when I didn’t respond.

I kept my gaze firmly on the statue as I replied.

“Isn’t that against the rules?” I asked.

“Princes can afford to break a few rules from time to time.”

He had meant it as a joke, a lighthearted mention of his status here and how ridiculous these hypocritical rules were. But I just huffed, shaking my head so that the soft waves of my honey blonde hair bounced around my shoulders. He walked around until he could see my face and took a moment to observe me, taking in my obvious irritation, my closed off body language. His eyes flicked down to where my nails were digging into the skin of my arm and back to my eyes. I tried to ignore the intensity of his observation but it only heightened my irritation until I was gritting my teeth at the audacity of it.

“You’re angry with me,” he said simply.

“No,” I replied, shaking my head and turning away. “No, I’m not.”

I strode off, needing to put some space between us, needing some distance to cool my temper. Why was I even so upset with him? Because I hadn’t seen him in three weeks? As if he owed me constant attention or even an explanation for his absence? I sighed.

“You are,” he persisted, watching me warily. “Why?”

It was a fair question but one I did not have a satisfactory answer for. Anything my mind brought up as a potential response sounded pathetic or desperate or both. Because why was I angry? Because he left me. Because he brought me all the way here, all the way to the Immortal Plane and then to this strange, beautiful court, only to abandon me entirely. Because he was infuriatingly difficult to puzzle out. Because one moment he would stare deeply into my eyes as if there was no one else in the world and the next he was off to some scheming and planning that didn’t involve me or even an acknowledgement of my existence. Because he hadn’t denied it when Cass had accused him of fraternizing with the enemy. Because that simple comment had made me lay awake for hours every night, wondering if he was somewhere off down these very halls, lying next to her in her bed, stroking her smooth, pale skin and whispering things in her ear that would make me blush to hear from his lips. All of that. All of that and more because, even though I had just met this man, this prince of darkness, this supremely powerful Fae, I was completely, utterly captivated. And I hated that. So I hated him for making me feel it.

But I couldn’t tell him that. Because we barely knew each other and I would run away myself if someone I hardly knew expressed such fascination with me after such a short time spent in one another’s company. So I settled with another issue, the one that had nothing to do with him. Or, at least, that’s what I told myself.

“I don’t know why I’m here,” I said then, sitting down on a marble bench nearby, staring down at a bed of tulips so that I didn’t have to look at him. “You and Cass have so much on your plate, what with your family… situation. And Rook is dealing with his history here and you both have your banishment to contend with and it’s all so big and I’m so… small. And I’m a burden. And I shouldn’t—”

“No,” he interrupted me, his tone low and firm. He strode forward and sat beside me. Before I could react, he reached out with one finger and tipped my chin up so that I was looking into his eyes. “You are not a burden. You are not small. You are not insignificant in any way. Your life, your problems, are no less important than ours.”

The whole time he spoke, he kept his fingers under my chin, his gaze burning hot upon my face. My skin heated, a faint flush creeping up my cheeks. His thumb moved lazily, almost absentmindedly, stroking my chin close to my lips. His gaze drew down to them. My breath hitched and I waited, expectant. Then he blinked and dropped his hand and the moment fizzled out between us, though I could still feel the desire coursing through him, emanating from him.

“Cass says I’m welcome here,” I breathed, hardly able to summon much more than a whisper as we maintained eye contact across the narrow bench. “She says that I’m one of you now. But I’m not. Not really. I’m not one of you and I’m not one of them.”

Them. He knew what I meant. Mortals. The mortal plane. My home. If I ever even really had one.

“So, where am I supposed to go?” I asked. “What am I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” he started and his lips spread into that mischievous smirk of his, “but none of us are welcome here. Rook and I were literally banished. Cass has forsaken everything her family stands for. As far as my father is concerned, she’s dead to him.”

I frowned, my heart going out to Cass, a girl the whole world thought was wicked, shunned by her own father for refusing to take part in the brutal murder of her own family.

“So if you’re looking for somewhere you can belong, you might find that here, in our merry band of unwanted outcasts,” he said. “If you’re looking for answers to your questions, you might find those here as well. If you ever want to meet your mother, she’s here.”

I tensed.

“Not now,” he whispered, soothing me. “But when you’re ready. If you’re ever ready.”

I just watched him then, those dark eyes boring into my own with something like genuine concern. He didn’t touch me again. But his hand twitched as though he wanted to. This dark and beautiful Fae, this Prince of the Court of Blood and Bone, this troubled brother and exiled son. He was fighting for his life and he had somehow found the time to throw me a life preserver as well.

“I’m supposed to hate you,” I told him, narrowing my gaze as if in suspicion.

He chuckled, standing from the bench.

“Likewise,” he said.

I cocked my head to the side, looking up at him as he glanced around the courtyard.

“Where have you been?” I asked, more out of curiosity now than anger. “I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

“I apologize for that,” he answered with a frown and I thought he might actually mean it. “Sophierial is keeping me busier than I expected.”

It was a worse punch to the gut than I expected.

“Fraternizing?” I asked, trying for a light tone, trying to make it seem like a joke.

He met my eyes with a sordid grin and I knew I’d failed. My uncle always said I got vicious when I was angry. I supposed I was about to prove his point.

“Jealous?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes.

“Not so much,” I answered. “I just take my cues from you, princeling. So if you’re going to break the rules, that means I can, too.”

I shrugged, delighting in the way he clenched his fists when I called him princeling.

“And you have an interest in breaking that particular rule, do you?” he asked, raising a brow in challenge. But I wasn’t one to back down. He would learn that eventually. Might as well be now.

“Maybe,” I answered with a shrug, acting aloof. “Who knows how long I’ll be staying here. It gets quite boring when Cass is away. That attendant of Sophierial’s, Barachiel, was it? He’s always trying to entertain me, bringing books to my room or offering to take me to the library. Perhaps I should mention I’ve thought of an activity more stimulating than reading.”

He tried to hide it but I saw. The brief flash of annoyance, the tick of his jaw. I felt his fury, white hot and burning like a roaring fire. I grinned wide, triumphant.

“Give it a try,” he shot back, turning and striding from the garden, off to do whatever he’d been doing for weeks. “Perhaps then I won’t have to listen to him gripe about his duties so much.”

I snorted as Lark left me sitting on a bench among the tulips.

I’d taunted him and he hadn’t backed down. I could give him credit for that. Still, I couldn’t help but notice, over the next few weeks, that Cass was abandoning me to my boredom far less than she had been before. And Barachiel never came to my room again. I couldn’t help but experience a thrill at having gotten to the Bone Court Prince so grandly.

It was another three weeks before Cass received a note during our morning lessons and vanished without warning. She didn’t return until after lunch and, when she burst into the common room where I was settled into an over sized armchair reading a book of theological theory that Semyaza had been more than thrilled to fetch for me, she wasn’t alone. Lark was with her.

“What—” I started but Cass interrupted before I could finish.

“Rook’s back.”

I was on my feet in an instant. Six weeks. We had been here six weeks without Rook, knowing he was off somewhere trying to talk some sense into a very dangerous and volatile Fae. I couldn’t hide the relief that flooded through me at Cass’ words. If he was back, he was alive. Maybe the rest wouldn’t be such good news. But he was alive.

“And?” I asked.

“Taurus wants to talk,” Lark replied.

My eyes widened. Cass just frowned.

“And Rook?” I asked, looking between them. “How is he?”

They glanced at one another, as if stunned I would think to ask such a thing. I was equally stunned that they hadn’t.

“Rook’s fine,” Lark answered after a moment. “I told you, Ren, he can take care of himself.”

“When it comes to hiding out here,” I corrected him. “But you sent him to your powerful, volatile brother alone.”

“Taurus has always liked Rook more than he liked me. It was safer to send him than either of us.”

“Besides, Rook can be very persuasive when he wants to be,” Cass added, voice lowered.

I gaped at her tone, wondering what experience she might have with Rook’s persuasiveness.

“He wants us to go to him,” Lark said then and some of the hopefulness from a moment before went out of the room. “He won’t set foot here. Not as long as Sophierial lives.”

Cass nodded as if that was something she had expected.

“For what it’s worth, he’s promised not to murder me the moment I set foot in the Court of Rivals,” Lark said and I just stared at him, wondering if he was joking, but his expression was entirely serious.

“And we should just take his word for it?” Cass finally snapped.

Lark took a deep breath and turned away, pacing. I got the sense that this was not the first time they’d had this argument.

“He almost killed Ursa, Lark,” Cass reminded him.

“Ursa went there to kill him, Cass,” Lark argued. “Rook has arranged for a peaceful meeting somewhere private. There’s no honor in killing me quietly. He wouldn’t do it without a crowd.”

I cringed. Was that really his best argument? His brother wouldn’t kill him unless it could be verified by hundreds of spectators? Suddenly, I felt ill.

“Lark—” Cass pleaded.

“Father is still alive,” Lark reminded her instead, bolstering his argument with an even stronger claim. “No one should be trying to kill anyone. Not yet.”

Cass looked like she wanted to say more but thought better of it and fell silent. I said nothing as well, know that there was nothing that either of us could say that would convince Lark not to give his brother this one final chance at peace, this last opportunity to do the right thing. Even though neither of them seemed particularly convinced that there was any chance he might take it.

“When do we leave?” I asked simply.

“Tomorrow.”