Page 25 of All Right No

He nodded. “Yes, the Gores are great people; very patient, very understanding and supportive. My mum’s the band’s biggest fan, even though she hates loud music.” He brushed his lips against a bare bit of skin above her left breast. “I guess I have the band too, at least for the moment.”

Always, she wanted to say, but bit her tongue.

“I always thought Gore was a stage name. Something you’d chosen to fit the group’s image.”

Ash nodded sagely. “Everyone does.” He nuzzled against her breast some more. “I guess that’ll make you Gee Gee when we get hitched.”

Oh fuck!

Ginny inwardly winced, her body recoiling away from Ash’s, though she fought to keep her expression schooled into neutrality. Every now and then Ash would hint at the idea of them getting hitched and completely wrong foot her. It was way too soon to be making that sort of commitment, even knowing she was already his until death do us part. But that was Ash, the hopeless romantic for you. At his core, he wanted nothing more than love and security.

She peeped down at him and the dreamy expression on his face told her exactly where his mind had wandered. Off to a rambling country house filled with scores of children. It wasn’t something she could give him, yet. Maybe not ever.

A big loving family might be Ash’s dream, but it wasn’t hers. Her focus was on independence, not reliance, and in any case, her dreams barely extended beyond the end of each month, let alone years into the future.

Ash seemed to sense her internal dilemma, for he lifted his head up and peered at her quizzically. “Don’t you want to be my Gee Gee?”

“Gee Gee,” she huffed. “That sounds like you intend to have me crawl around on all fours while you ride me bare back and whirl a lasso around your head.”

A twinkle lit up his eyes. “You’re not up for some horseplay, then?”

He was back on the subject of sex, while she was still processing the revelations about his past, and the fact he’d flushed all his medications down the loo.

Too agitated to remain still any longer, Ginny rose and padded over to the window. “What’s your brother’s name?” she asked. It struck her as curious that she’d been unaware he had one, yet she could name Xane’s siblings and his cousin, and all of Spook’s sisters.

“What do you want to know for?”

Because it was his brother, obviously. “Curiosity. You’ve never mentioned him before today. Don’t you get along?”

Ash scratched at the stubble on his chin. “Auto,” he barked.

“Say what?”

“It’s his name.”

“Auto. Ashley and Auto?”

“Daz Auto,” he amended. “Daz Automatic. You’ve never heard of that? It’s a washing powder. It was his nickname when we were small.”

“So his real name is—”

“—Darren.” He shook his head as if he found it incomprehensible that she hadn’t figured that out.

“Well, whatever he’s called, you’ve never mentioned him. How come?”

Ash did some more irritable scratching, and refused to make eye contact with her. “No point, that’s why. It’s not like he’s around.”

So, he’d abandoned Ash too, by the sounds of it.

“He signed up the moment he was old enough. Swore he’d be back before I knew it. He died in a training accident.”

Oh fuck! Yeah, the more of the picture she caught sight of, the better she understood why Ash had the issues he did.

“He died?” She wheezed, her throat clogged with emotion.

Ash gave a perfunctory nod. “There—now you know it all. My whole sordid family history. Do you want to spill about yours?”

This was her opportunity; he’d offered her an open invitation to blurt it all out. Ginny kept her lips tightly buttoned. Sure, she could open up if she wanted to end them here and now. Or she could be sensible and keep a little back.