Page 22 of All My Love
Epilogue
Elizabeth - One Year Later
I mutethe tv when the phone rings. It’s Kit and she’s interrupting my reality dating show viewing and getting ready for Ben to come home. I put my phone on speaker and toss it onto thebed.
“Hello Love,” I tell her, “what isup?”
“I saw that you passed a hundred thousand followers and I thought it would be a good time to call you and congratulate you on a job well done. You sound like there’s something wrong. Is there somethingwrong?”
I let out a deep, hushedbreath.
“No, I’m sorry. I’m in this bracket at the Grad Center and two of my three picks went home early.” It’s a lie. I mean, it’s the truth, but that’s not what’s wrong. In fact, there’s nothing wrong. I’m just a little bit nervous. Excited, but nervous. In truth, I love the blog and I do love my reality tv, but I’ve had to subsist on ice pops and decaf ginger tea for the past week because the early signs of pregnancy have sent my body on a collision course with dizziness. I knew this was a possibility and there’s a part of me that actually likes the pain my body is going through. Is that sick? I think Kit might actually understand that I enjoy anything that happens to my body on the way to bringing my and Ben’s first child into theworld.
The pain is a blessing. I am home to our child. I marvel at the thought. When Ben and I moved into our new Washington Square apartment, I smashed my finger between a wall and one of his brown couches. It pinched, but I didn’t mind. It was a growing pain. We all must go through them. I was thankful for it in an odd way. Until then, everything was so perfect that I thought I must bedreaming.
I’m not going to tell Kit what’s really up. I can’t tell her until Ben knows. Then I will tell my parents, and then his parents, and then Kit and Madelyn. My parents are in Paris at the moment so I’ll have to check the time there before I call them. Then maybe I’ll tell the rest of the world, too. And after that, in about six months, the blog and the insta account will be moved into hands that have more time for it than I will. I have the deal all signed and everything is ready to put it into better hands and send it to greener pastures. I made a little bit of money off the sale of the blog and the associated media accounts, which I’m going to put into a fund for the baby. It’ll be the first contribution to his or her college fund and telling our child that their future was started with the seed of something that brought me and their dad together is going to feel so damngood.
I’ve learned a lot about myself through being with Ben. I’ve learned that total happiness does’t always lead to letting yourself live solely in the moment. I’ve learned that total happiness can give you so much more than just warmth on a cold day or a cold glass of iced tea on a hot one. Total happiness means you know what tomorrow’s weather will be like. It means that even if it’s raining you have an umbrella stashed in your car. It means that when the forecast calls for snow, you’re ready with a shovel. It’s living in the moment but knowing you’re equipped for the future,too.
The dean of students at the Grad Center granted me a leave of absence from my journalism program so I could focus on getting ready for the baby and work from home on closing out the last six months of All My Love. Ben is thriving in his new position, and he was able to complete his project for his old university remotely. He’s brought it over to his new school and he’s making somewaves.
I hear the apartment door open and the clank of Ben’s keys on the coffee table signal the warmth of him coming home tome.
“I’m sorry Kit,” I say, grabbing my phone and taking it off speaker, “I have to go. But I’m gonna call you back in like an hour,okay?”
“Gotcha.”
I end the call and walk out of our bedroom and into the hallway. I’m wearing the same black tulle dress I was wearing my first time.Ourfirsttime.
Ben is standing there with his wavy black hair wet and stuck to his head, his crisp white shirt is soaked through, and I think there are raindrops dripping down his briefcase and making a puddle on thefloor.
“Welcome home,” I say to him, taking a step toward him. He narrows his eyes on me, smiles, and then stalks toward me. I hop up and wrap my arms and legs around his as his fingers find the zipper on the back of my dress. “What are you thinking for dinner?” I start to say, but he cuts me off with hislips.
“I don’t care,” he says between kisses. “Let’s order in. It’s a rainy afternoon. Let’s spend the rest of it kissing and fucking and then we can ordersushi.”
I cruise my fingers through his hair and pull him to my lips again. He walks toward our bedroom and puts me down on the bed delicately and my fingers undo his shirt as he tugs at his collar and loosens histie.
“Maybe pizza instead?” I say as I trail kisses up his chest. He laces his hand up the back of my head and pulls me to his lips as his other hand grabs my ass and pulls me against hisbody.
“Whatever the hell you want,Liz.”
I pull away from him softly and gaze into his deep blue eyes. For a second there I get lost, but then I find myselfagain.
“Ben. You’re going to be afather.”
He crushes his lips to mine again and I feel a smile curl up. His scruff rubs against my cheek as he kisses down my neck. He puts his hand behind me and pulls my zipper down to get my dress around mywaist.
I slide my fingers through his wet hair as he kisses my belly. He’s given me all his love. And I’ve given him all of mine. And I can’t wait for our love to keepgrowing.
THEEND