Page 15 of All Ghosts Aren’t Dead (The Forgotten #1)

“Not because I didn’t want to,” I added. “I mean, I never wanted to. Not until him. But even if I had, there wasn’t anyone, or any chance.”

I could feel their eyes on me. Not sharp. Not pitying. Just… listening.

“I don’t even know if I was good at it.”

I ran my palm over the hem of my too-long sleeve and stared at the controller still in my lap.

“Like, how do you know? If you’re good at it? He didn’t say anything. But he didn’t stop me. He didn’t pull away. He made a noise and…” I looked up. “It felt right.”

Simon smiled, something soft settling into the corner of his mouth. “That’s how you know.”

Bay wiped an invisible tear from under his eye. “Our little baby is all grown up.”

The truth was still in me, pressed tight against my ribs, so I folded my legs underneath me and said, “I saw two boys kiss once behind the shed at church.”

Jonah and I were hiding from Father after morning prayer, sharing a too-warm donut Jonah had stolen from the folding table. We were eating it behind the brick wall, and my knees were scraped from kneeling on concrete for too long.

That’s when we saw them—the boys.

Their faces were close, mouths brushing like they weren’t sure it was real yet. One of them reached up and tucked a curl behind the other’s ear. Then they kissed.

I stared, and felt something inside me pull tight.

“Jonah saw them too, and I… I asked him if I could kiss a boy. He told me, ‘You can kiss whoever you want, but not here. Not while they’re watching. You wait till you’re safe.’”

“He was right.” Simon nodded. “You can kiss whoever the fuck you want.”

Bay sniffed. “Well. Not now. Stick to kissing your daddy.”

He waved dramatically toward the ceiling, like Samuel was listening through the air ducts. “Because I guarantee that man would descend from the rafters like a vengeful spirit and rip the lips clean off anyone who even thinks about kissing you.”

Miller muttered, “Charming visual.”

“I’m just saying!” Bay cried. “Man looks like he irons his suits with rage. You think he’s letting anyone else near the mouth of his precious angel baby?”

“I don’t want anyone else,” I said simply.

That shut Bay up again.

I meant it. I didn’t want anyone else.

Not now. Not ever.

I looked down at the controller again, my thumb sliding across one of the buttons.

“We should probably just get married.”

Three things happened at once.

Bay made a noise like a wounded animal.

Simon choked on his drink.

Rune muttered, “Jesus.”

I blinked at them. “What?”

Simon leaned forward, hands steepled in front of his mouth like he was trying very hard not to laugh. “Blue… do you think you have to marry him because you kissed him?”

I shrugged. “That’s what people do, right? They kiss and get married.”

Duh.

The words felt obvious in my mouth.

“They say vows and touch each other. Have sex.” I looked up, brows creasing faintly. “Isn’t that how it works?”

Bay’s mouth was hanging open like he was watching a slow-motion car crash.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. ” He pressed both hands to his cheeks.

“You sweet, emotionally ravaged Disney prince—no. No, no, no. You do not have to marry him just because you kissed him. Or even if you fu—” He caught Simon’s look and cleared his throat. “You know. Even if you do stuff. ”

Simon was still recovering. “Blue, there’s this thing called dating.”

I tilted my head. “Dating?”

“It’s like…” He paused. “Like… spending time together. Getting to know someone. Kissing more. Touching more. But without needing a wedding ring or a contract or… a witness.”

Miller turned a page. “Or a blood pact.”

Bay bounced slightly where he sat. “Yeah, you can lick him from head to toe and still not be legally bound to him. You get to take your time. Explore. See what you like.”

I blinked slowly. “I can just… keep kissing him? Without being punished? Or getting married?”

Simon’s expression softened. “Yes. If he wants it, and you want it, that’s enough.”

“Consent is sexy.” Bay hummed.

That thought hit somewhere deep.

Not in my head. Not even my heart.

Lower. Warmer.

I did want it. I wanted his mouth and his hands. His voice in the dark saying my name like it wasn’t something dirty.

I wanted to press my face to his throat and stay there.

Forever and ever.

“I think I want that,” I said.

Bay flopped backward dramatically. “I think I want it, he says, like he didn’t just emotionally propose to the Mafia Daddy in charge of our fates.”

Rune snorted. “Bet he says yes.”

“But… dating means it could end, right?” The words slipped out before I could stop them. “Marriage means forever?”

Bay opened his mouth, then closed it again. It looked like his brain needed to reboot.

Rune raised a brow. “Tell that to my aunt. She’s been married three times and sends each ex a Christmas card signed with hearts.”

“Queen behavior, honestly,” Bay said.

Simon glanced toward me, head tilted slightly. “It doesn’t always have to end. Some people date and still end up together for a long time. Or forever.”

I shrugged. “Then Daddy and I can just get married. Problem solved.”

Bay dropped his controller. “I…” He looked to Simon like he needed a lifeline. “Did he just propose? Casually? Emotionally? To a man he’s known a total of ten days?”

Miller didn’t even blink. “I think he’s already planned the honeymoon.”

“What’s a honeymoon?” I asked.

Bay let out a high-pitched noise that might’ve been a gasp or a suppressed sob. “I cannot emotionally handle you.”

The door creaked open.

Daddy.

Samuel stepped inside, the firelight catching on the sharp line of his jaw and the soft curve of his mouth.

I want to kiss him again.

He stood just inside the threshold, eyes moving from boy to boy before they landed on me.

“I just came to check on you,” he said, voice low. “Didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“You didn’t.”

I was already up.

The couch shifted as I stood, Bay squeaking something, but I barely heard him.

My feet carried me forward like I’d been waiting for him the whole time. I reached for his sleeve, fingers curling into the edge of the fabric.

“You’re okay?” he asked, quieter now that I was close.

I nodded. “I missed you.”

He brushed his knuckles along the side of my face. “It’s only been a couple of hours.”

“Still,” I whispered. “Can we kiss again and fall asleep on your couch?”

“The audacity!” Bay’s voice wailed from the couch. “ No! You can’t leave yet, Bluebird. We’re going to snuggle and watch Studio Ghibli. It’s bonding time.”

Samuel gave a low chuckle, hand brushing the hair off my forehead. “Friends are important, baby. You should stay with them.”

“But… what about kissing?”

Samuel’s eyes closed briefly, like he was trying to hold something down inside him. When he opened them again, I was the only thing reflected back.

He bent slightly, hand sliding behind my head, and kissed me. It was soft at first, and then firmer, his lips parting just enough to steal my breath.

We were totally getting married.

When he pulled back, his lips brushed against mine as he murmured, “There’ll be kissing, Blue baby, because tonight you’ll be in my bed.”

Every sound behind us stopped.

I could feel the heat in my cheeks, the weight of the words settling under my skin.

Behind us, Bay let out a strangled noise. “I have so many emotions. None of them are appropriate.”