Page 3 of Alive (Shadows of a Forgotten Past #2)

CHAPTER 3

~ KEYHAVEN ~

A beautiful boy with dark hair and a mesmerizing smile dashes through the grass, untouched by the world’s worries. My heart burns with love.

Wolves howl from the trees, catching his attention. He rushes toward the sound. Dread swallows my contentment. I race after him.

I push my legs harder. It’s no use—I can’t catch up. He disappears into the brush. Then—he reappears, taller, older. Time is stealing him from me.

The trees close in, their branches intertwining, locking him away. Loneliness crashes over me. “No! No! I have to find my son!”

A voice broke through the fog of despair, accompanied by gentle shaking. “Florence, wake up. Wake up! It’s just a dream.”

Drops of cold sweat slid down my neck. I opened my eyes to a pre-dawn stillness.

“Are you all right?” Alex spoke again, his voice edged with concern.

“I think so . . . it was a vivid, painful dream.”

“It’s over now.” He pulled me into his embrace.

“I saw him.” My voice trembled with longing.

“Who?”

“Our son. He was running in the fields, playing, laughing, alive. He was alive.” The dream had felt so real, the connection so intense, that waking seemed like losing him all over again.

“I know it’s hard,” Alex whispered. “I, too, wish he were with us.”

“Why won’t these dreams leave me alone?” The pain drove me to pursue the long-overdue conversation. “When he was born, Mrs. White carried him from the room, leaving me with the aching desire to be with him, to hold him, even when physically I couldn’t. It left a hole in my heart that never healed,” I said. “Later, the sadness in your eyes told me he was gone. There were many unanswered questions—I wondered who cared for him, how long he lived, and where his remains were. Please, Alex, tell me about it.”

A brief silence ensued—the same silence that on previous occasions ended the discussion before it even started.

“Alex, please.”

He drew a long breath, his arms tightening around me as though to anchor himself. “When I arrived at the manor, the baby had already been rushed to the dispensary. The attending nurse was trained to care for him.”

“Who took him there?”

“Deborah White.”

“But she was there when I . . . left you.”

“Vines drove her. I’m not sure how long they were gone. You were unconscious for quite some time. Florence, it was the best thing to do. The best chance our son had to survive. You couldn’t . . .”

“I know. I know.”

“I learned of his passing soon after I returned to you.”

My heart ached at the indescribable loss. Had he lived, he would have been a source of peace and love for Alex.

“All of it was a terrible blow,” Alex continued. “Nothing could have prepared me for that day. In a matter of hours, my world collapsed, and I was set adrift. Things happened too fast. At the mercy of circumstance, I had no time to think, to react.” Alex, trained to be stoic in the face of the harshest trials, had nearly been broken by our son’s death and mine. Though the miracle of my reappearance brought healing, scars clearly remained. “I should’ve returned to you earlier. If I had, the accident could have been avoided.”

“Don’t,” I said. “Mrs. White has a murderer’s heart. If not then, she would’ve found another time, another way.” Though true, my words offered little comfort.

“That wretched woman,” he spat. “Someday she’ll regret all she’s done.”

“Tell me, when did you see our son?”

“When we brought your body to the church, his remains were already there,” Alex replied. “Now, try to rest. We have a long day ahead.”

The topic was bitter for us both. I snuggled deeper against his chest. Replaying his account, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something either fit too well or didn’t fit at all.

* * *

“Come on, Florence! We are almost there,” Alex shouted, yards ahead.

I left the moss-carpeted forest and stepped onto the golden sand, the fresh scent of seawater filling my nostrils. Black-headed gulls soared against the azure sky, dipping close to the waves. And not far in the distance, Hurst Castle rose from the narrow spit of land stretching into the sea as massive as I recalled. I dropped my bag next to Alex’s. He was already engaged in setting up camp for the afternoon.

“We are far better prepared than last time,” I said, observing Alex spread the flannel cloth Zaira had packed for us over the sand.

“You can say that again. At least this time, I don’t have to beg the fortress for food.” Alex chuckled.

“I almost forgot about that.”

“I didn’t. Just like I haven’t forgotten that you refused to join me in the water then—but that’s going to change today.”

I laughed. The idea hadn’t even crossed my mind. The sea might look inviting, but I dreaded its chill. “You couldn’t be more wrong.”

“You will swim with me, lady, I assure you.” He gave me a roguish smile.

“Even if I entertained the idea, I couldn’t. I’m not wearing a bathing suit.”

“Why not?” His gaze darted to me. “I asked Zaira to pack one. Did she forget?”

“She didn’t.”

“I see. You were defiant.”

“You can call it that—or clever enough to avoid freezing to death.”

Alex began unlacing his shoes.

I unpacked our meal. “Would you like a cucumber sandwich or a Cornish pasty?”

“Are you trying to starve me?”

“We also have apples.” I smiled, holding one up.

“Look at the size of this. It wouldn’t feed an ant.” He took a sandwich and polished it off in two bites while his attention settled on the fortress. “I’ll say, that’s interesting . . . interesting indeed . . .”

“What is?”

“The movement at Hurst Castle. Those vessels on the far side, the vehicles in front—it’s unusual.” He rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

“Why?”

“Since the Great War, it’s been a low-key location,” he replied, grabbing another sandwich. “Even more so in recent years. Hardly any ships come through here anymore.”

“It might be a naval exercise or gathering of some sort.” I swallowed the last piece of my apple.

“That’s what I’m worried about.”

“It’s probably nothing.” I leaned back on my elbows, soaking in the sun.

“I could wander over and find out what’s blowing in the wind.”

“And why would you do that?”

“Pure curiosity.”

“Since you’re no longer in active service, I think we should leave it alone. The military doesn’t take kindly to civilians snooping around.”

“You are right.” With a sigh, he lay back and closed his eyes. Before long, the heat prompted him to peel off his top layers. “I’m ready to tackle the freezing water.”

“Have fun.”

“Take courage,” he pleaded. “Come with me.”

I shook my head decisively.

“You are acting like a fraidy cat,” he taunted.

“And I’ll gladly remain one, thank you.”

Chuckling, he headed to the ocean and dove in with ease, each stroke carrying him farther out into the shimmering waves.

I placed my hat over my face and must have fallen asleep because I startled awake when Alex dropped beside me. Voices drifted through the trees, and I looked over my shoulder. A group of youngsters—three girls in colorful dresses and three boys in dark, weathered overalls—emerged onto the beach. Laughing and shouting, they darted across the sand, the girls’ dresses swirling as they ran, and the boys chasing one another with sticks in hand.

“We have company,” Alex remarked.

The group smiled and waved as they passed us.

“They are so full of life and joy,” I remarked.

“I hope they find some good ones,” Alex muttered.

“Good ones?”

“They are looking for shells. The tall boy is carrying a collector’s pouch.”

“I missed that.” I watched as they wandered farther, occasionally stooping to examine their finds. “Where do they come from?”

“Probably from one of the fishing hamlets along the shore.”

A breeze carried their laughter to us, stirring an ache in my heart. Maybe it was the longing for my son, but I felt prompted to broach a sensitive subject—one we had discussed before with little success. “You know,” I began tentatively, “having children would add so much to our lives.”

As if prodded with a spear, Alex sat upright, his body rigid.

When he didn’t respond, I pressed on. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Florence, you know how I feel.” He stood abruptly, dressed, and offered me his hand. “Let’s walk.”

We strolled along the water’s edge.

“You haven’t answered me,” I said.

“You know I love you more than I can ever understand. Sometimes I look at you and wonder if you are truly here or if I’ve lost my mind entirely. I’m still adjusting to the miracle of having you back. I’m not ready to have children. I’m not ready for things to change again.” Why did I feel he left something unsaid?

“Sometimes I also feel that our reality is too amazing to grasp. But like you said last night, we have been blessed beyond reason. Shouldn’t we embrace it without fear? Shouldn’t we make the most of being together? What could be better than knowing a part of us will live on after we are gone?”

“I’ll be gone sooner than you. Don’t forget, I’m older than you,” he said with an edge. “Maybe a bit too old to have children.”

“Don’t be absurd. People nowadays have children much later in life. We’d be fine. Now, be honest. Why are you apprehensive?”

“Do you know how many?” He gazed at the sky, where a few stars began to flicker.

“How many what? Stars?”

“No, nights.”

“Nights?”

“Yes. Do you know how many nights after losing you, I returned to Forti Radici, yearning to find you there? I lost track. Even surrounded by people, I was empty, numb. I’d leave the house in agony, always headed to the same place—the cemetery. There was a deceptive peace there. In the end, there was no escape, I had to return to my dark world.” Tears pooled in his eyes.

Mr. Morris’s description of Alex’s visits wasn’t an exaggeration. “ For years on end, he came to see her come rain or shine. He spent hours kneeling beside her, sometimes weeping, sometimes staring into space. It was heartrending to behold .”

“Then I escaped to the war. There were endless nights when I sat with my men, watching these very stars, wondering where you were and why you had to leave me. Wondering how much longer it would be until I finally joined you.”

My heart pounded against my ribs with anticipation as he opened the door he’d kept shut for so long.

He went on, “I didn’t have to be in the trenches. I could have stayed hidden from the front lines. I chose to be there. Do you remember what you made me promise right here, at this beach, so long ago?”

I could never have forgotten. “You promised you would hold on to hope no matter what.”

“That promise kept me grounded, kept me from doing something foolish. It would have been easy to run into a minefield or the line of fire. So easy.” Alex heaved a weary breath. “Besides, it was my responsibility to help my men survive. To do that, I had to stay alive. I saved some lives, lost others, but I did my best. And through it all, I was somehow strengthened beyond my own ability, staying on the battlefield until the very end. Later, I realized that helping them softened my grief.”

“And then?”

“Then I joined the effort to build and expand our military intelligence. By the time I retired, we had developed several prototypes for weapons of mass destruction. I could have stayed on that path, but during a visit to the manor, I took a walk in the forest and ended up by the stream?—”

“Where I took a dunking, thanks to you?” I smiled, lightening the mood.

“The very one. As I watched the water flow, my heart burned with an overwhelming urge to retire, to return to the New Forest for good. So I did. Soon after, White convinced me to move to America. And, well, you know the rest.”

I halted, my gaze holding his. A halo of light surrounded him as the now-red globe behind him slipped below the horizon.

“How amazing is that?” I said with awe. “Think about it. In her attempt to erase your memories of me, she brought you to New York, where we would find each other. Just like I was promised when I died, our paths would cross again in life.”

“Florence, I can’t bear to lose you again.”

The unspoken confession pierced my soul—he connected the idea of having children with losing me. “Alex, I’m here to stay. We’ll grow old together this time. And when it’s our turn to move on from this world, I promise I’ll let you go first.” Peace settled over me. I hoped he felt it too. I didn’t know if my feelings were a reassurance to my words, after all, there were few things we could control in life, but I would hold on to them.

“We should head back. It’s growing late,” he said, ending the speculation.

We retraced our steps to our picnic spot.

“Look!” I pointed to the lighthouse. “The light is on now.”

“It’s permanent and always reliable, like my love for you, my lady. Don’t forget that.” He swept me off my feet and ran into the sea.

“Alex, no!” I shrieked. “Don’t you dare!”

“Don’t fuss.” He laughed. “Since you are always admonishing me to conquer my fears, it’s time you conquer yours.”

“No, no, no!”

He dropped me into the water. I gasped at the chill swallowing me whole, my arms flailing, my legs kicking to stabilize. My feet found solid footing, and I drew a steady breath. To my dismay, Alex was already wading back to shore, his grin infuriating.

“You are a brute of a man!” I feigned anger as I stumbled out of the water.

“There, there, easy now.” In between fits of laughter, he retreated as fast as I advanced on him. “See, the sea is nothing to be afraid of.”

“I have no problem with the sea other than how cold it is! And who is the fraidy cat now? Stop running!” I gathered the hem of my dress and pulled it up to my thighs to chase after him.

“Are you going to hurt me?”

“Why don’t you come over here and find out?”

“Only if you promise to be civil.”

“Civil?” I shot back, breathless. “You don’t even know what that means, Lieutenant. Let me show you.”

“Lieutenant?” He laughed. “You must be truly flustered.” He retrieved the cloth from the sand. “Here, take this. You’ll feel better.”

My pride made me hesitate, but the cold won out. I let him wrap the cover around my shoulders. But then, I balled my fists and pounded his chest. “You’ll pay dearly for this.”

“Oh? What do you have in mind?”

With a wicked grin, I stomped on his foot.

“Ouch!” he yelped.

I dropped the cloth and bolted. He caught me, pulling me down onto the sand, where we rolled together. He kissed me. I hit him. We laughed. He kissed me again. I kissed him back.

* * *

Morning found me where I had fallen asleep—in Alex’s arms on the shag rug before the embers of the fireplace. The scent of wool mingled with the aroma of charred wood, welcoming the new day.

“Florence.” His voice pierced the stillness like an unwelcome alarm. “Do you hear that?”

“No.”

“Listen . . .”

I strained my ears. Silence.

“There it is again.” Alex sat up. “Do you hear it now?”

“I think so.” A growing rumbling in the distance. “What is it?”

“Planes!” Alex sprang to his feet and dashed outside.

I scrambled after him. We halted beneath a patch of blue sky. Within seconds, two aircraft flew overhead, the roar drowning the rustling leaves and birdsong.

“Warplanes.” Dread curled my stomach.

Three more streaked above us, their metallic forms glinting in the sunlight.

“Not just warplanes—Spitfires,” Alex said. “Our newer short-range bombers. They are extremely fast, and powerful enough to rain hell from heaven.”

“What are they doing here?”

“There is only one reason why they would be mobilized.” His eyes locked onto mine with a truth I didn’t want to face. “We are at war.”