Page 62 of Alchemy of Secrets

Mason didn’t say goodbye. Not that Holland had expected him to. Well, she might have expected it a little. Along with the thank you he never gave her.

She wondered if there was a version of yesterday that would have ended with Mason thanking her.

She hadn’t fully wrapped her head around the idea that she’d lived so many yesterdays.

She imagined it would probably take a lot of tomorrows for her to sort it all out.

And she had other things to sort out at the moment.

Mason Bishop might have been rubbish at goodbyes, but she knew he was right about the Alchemical Heart. Holland had made sure Adam couldn’t hurt her again, but he wasn’t the only one who wanted the Alchemical Heart.

She needed to get out of there. Although the last time she’d tried to escape with what she thought was the Alchemical Heart, it hadn’t gone well.

“What would January do?” she wondered aloud.

“There’s a reason your sister didn’t find me.”

Holland jolted at the sound of an unexpected voice. She turned and saw Manuel Vargas, dressed in the same hat and checkered suspenders he’d worn the other day, sitting on top of the table.

“How did you get here?”

“I’ve always been here. I just thought you might feel more comfortable talking to me in this form.” He smiled, but it wasn’t quite a human smile. It was a little too much. Every part of his face seemed to move, from the wrinkles on his cheeks to his eyebrows and hairline.

That’s when she noticed the hourglass was gone, and he was sitting in its place.

“It was you all along.” Holland remembered the intense bolt of déjà vu she’d felt when she’d first met him, and how he’d been the one who had handed her the package she’d mistakenly thought was from the Professor.

But the package had never been sent in the mail.

It had always been part of him, or maybe he was part of the package.

Holland was a little fuzzy on how it all worked, but she was fairly certain there had never been a Mr. Vargas.

Mr. Vargas had always been the Alchemical Heart.

“Bingo!” it said animatedly. “I can take on any form I wish, and multiple forms if need be, but only if those forms are in close proximity.”

“So I’m right?”

“Quite.” It grinned, clearly enjoying talking about its magic. “Now, let’s talk about what you want to do.”

“What can I do?”

“You can do whatever you want.” It smiled wider, in a way that made her think it hoped she’d choose to do something exciting.

“Can I bring my parents back?”

Its smile faded. “You can. If you wish. However, I would not recommend it. There’s always a cost to using magic.

It’s the whole keeping-balance-in-the-universe bit.

For example, when your father used me to see the future, he thought he was sending you on a fun, final treasure hunt.

But in doing so he created a new future he didn’t foresee, with a much darker ending.

” The Alchemical Heart’s expression continued to sober.

“If you think this was bad, there’s nothing that upsets the balance more than bringing someone back from the dead.

If you really want to bring a loved one back, the best way to go about it is to turn back time, but the cost to that is forgetting.

So you wouldn’t remember the last fifteen years of your life.

And that is a great many years to turn back.

If your parents had died only a few minutes ago, that would be a different story. ” Its eyes gleamed.

For a second, Holland thought about how she kept dying and time kept restarting, and she couldn’t help asking, “Is this what happened with me?”

The Alchemical Heart kicked its legs back and forth.

“I really can’t answer that question, because if you’re correct, part of the cost for whoever saved you is that you could never know.

So, again, I don’t recommend turning back fifteen years, because it will be quite messy for everyone.

But entirely your choice,” it added cheerfully.

Holland couldn’t help thinking about it for a minute.

But then she remembered a scene from her father’s screenplay, when Alma was talking to Red.

The dead are meant to stay dead. When they come back, there are always consequences…

Do the right thing. Leave what’s better left untouched in the past, think about the future, and move on.

Maybe the screenplay wasn’t just a treasure map but a warning. Her father had seen the future, and he knew exactly what Holland would want to do when she reached the end of his treasure hunt.

It made a lot more sense, now, that he hadn’t actually hidden the Heart somewhere anyone could find it.

He’d stacked the cards to make sure she would be the only winner.

And even though there had been unforeseen consequences, Holland was still thankful he’d done it.

She was glad she’d gotten the chance to feel close to him again, to hear stories about him, and to finally talk about him.

Her father was so intentional, putting Easter eggs inside of Easter eggs like little nesting dolls. Maybe he’d always known this treasure hunt would have more than one story inside of it as well.

She wanted desperately to bring him and her mother back.

Holland felt that after what she’d just been through, she could handle the consequences of anything.

But she knew her father wouldn’t want that.

She imagined that he’d sent her the Alchemical Heart so she could keep it safe, because he trusted her not to do anything dangerous, even if she was extremely tempted.

“For the record, I don’t mind being used at all.

” The Alchemical Heart grinned, and again she noticed that there was definitely something inhuman about it.

“Magic is meant to be spread. However, your father didn’t want that.

” Its smile abruptly turned to a frown, and Holland imagined that if someone else were to come for the Heart, its loyalty might quickly shift.

If she wasn’t going to use it, she needed to get rid of it. And yet, she hesitated. There had been a time when all she wanted was to go back to her ordinary nonmagical life, but she knew too much had changed for that to happen.

She wasn’t sure if she would ever go back to the Regal or the Bank, but if she did, she didn’t want to be powerless. She knew her father didn’t want her to use the Alchemical Heart to bring him and her mother back from the dead. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t use it at all.

“I want an ability,” Holland said, before she could change her mind.

It looked disturbingly pleased, lips stretching Cheshire-Cat wide, all the way to its ears. “I was so hoping you’d ask.”

Holland hesitated. Its excitement made her feel that perhaps this was a bad idea.

“Don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts.”

“I just want to make sure I pick the right ability,” Holland hedged.

Its smile vanished. “Sorry, but I don’t work that way.

There are certain things you can tell me to do.

But I’m afraid this isn’t one of them. Each human is made with a unique, inactive ability.

I can activate this power. But you can’t choose what it is.

And you won’t know what it is until after it’s been activated. ”

Once again, Holland felt as if this could be a mistake.

The Alchemical Heart had also just warned her that there was always a cost to magic, and she wasn’t even sure what this magic would be.

But if she didn’t do this, she knew she would always wonder about what her magic might have been, what she might have been.

“Do it.” Holland closed her eyes as she said the words, like a child making a wish.

When she opened her eyes, the Alchemical Heart was kicking its legs back and forth again, smiling even wider. “It might take a few days or a few weeks for it to activate, but I think you’ll be pleased when it does.” Its face turned mischievous.

Holland wondered exactly what she’d gotten herself into. But she didn’t regret her choice.

The truth was, Holland St. James simply wasn’t capable of turning down a chance at having magic.

Now she only had to decide what to do with the Alchemical Heart. She still didn’t imagine she’d be able to walk out of here with it easily—or at all.

She thought about asking it to self-destruct. Then she remembered what Gabe had said about that possibly destroying all magic, and she didn’t want to be responsible for that.

She needed to hide it, like her father had. Except her father hadn’t hidden it. He’d sent it to her. He’d sent it into the future.

He’d believed it was too powerful for any one person to possess.

And he must have known it was too powerful to simply hide.

Then she wondered if it wasn’t just her father who had sent the Alchemical Heart into the future, but if that’s what the others had done as well.

If that was why the Alchemical Heart would disappear and then reappear decades later.

The Alchemical Heart looked at her sadly, as if it knew what she was thinking. “Is this where we say goodbye?”

“I’m afraid so,” said Holland. “It’s time for you to find a new home in the future.”

“And where might that home be?”

For a second, Holland didn’t know. Then she remembered one last thing her father had written.

His special instructions on the hold slip.

“I want you to go to the future, to someone who needs you, but doesn’t really want you.

Someone kind, who will only use you once for their need and then never use you again. ”