Page 33 of Aisle Be The Groom (Bristlecone Springs #1)
OZZIE
“ O zzie.”
I opened my eyes. Carter—a well-tanned Carter—stood a few feet away from me. He looked good. For the first time, I noticed the similarities to Gray: the same gray eyes, the arch of the nose, the full eyebrows, the strong square jawline. But he was nothing like Gray. Carter’s gray eyes were closed off. He’d always kept a part of himself private, even from me.
“Carter.” I smiled. “You’re here.”
He swept his gaze over me slowly.
“It’s been too long.” He released his hold on his suitcases and shook his head. “You look…amazing.”
Did I? I chuckled and tugged at my stylish top. Never would I have worn it for him. He never liked me dressing well, as if it was a waste of effort.
“It’s the shirt, I think.”
“No, it’s more.” He brushed his fingertips over my cheek. “You look radiant. So happy.”
“What? You thought I’d be miserable because you abandoned me?”
He flinched and dropped his hand. “I deserve that. I owe you an apology.”
“That’s a start, but not here. I’m glad you got back safely. Maybe we can stop somewhere on the way home and have something to eat. Then we can talk.”
“Or we can go back to the ranch, and I’ll make it up to you.”
“It’s best we talk first. We’d have some privacy.”
“Are you mad at me?”
I walked off without looking back. He was free to follow me. He wheeled his suitcases and jogged to catch up with me.
“Who brought you? Did you drive?”
“Matty. He’s waiting for us in the truck.”
“Oh. Dad didn’t come?”
“No, I thought it best he didn’t travel all this way with a concussion.”
“That makes sense. How is he?”
“Doing better.”
“Good.”
As we approached the truck, Matty came out. “Car, welcome home.”
The brothers hugged while I got into the truck. I took several deep breaths and watched them from the rearview mirror as they talked, too low to hear. Matty wouldn’t steal my thunder to soften the blow, would he?
They loaded Carter’s suitcases in the back of the truck, then joined me. Matty kept the radio off this time as Carter talked about his adventures in the Caribbean.
“It’s amazing, man.” Carter squeezed my shoulder from the back seat. “I’ll have to take you some time, Ozzie. You’ll love it.”
“I’m sure I’ll go someday.” Just not with you.
Matty knew my plan, so he pulled off the highway and parked in front of a restaurant.
“I still think we could have gone straight home,” Carter said as he got out of the car. Even though he was out first, he didn’t make any attempt to open my door.
“I’m hungry too, man,” Matty said. “It won’t take long. I hope.”
We entered the restaurant and found a table in the corner, the plastic seats cold under us as we sat. It was a classic road-house diner, the smell of grilled burgers and onions heavy in the air. Matty asked me to order him a light beer, then went to the restrooms.
A waiter stopped by our table. “Hi! I’m Dev. What can I get you folks?”
“Just three light beers for now,” I said before Carter could. “Thank you.”
“No problem. I’ll be back in a few.”
He walked away, leaving Carter and me alone. The restaurant was half-filled, but nobody else mattered. Just the man sitting in front of me.
“Ozzie, is something wrong?” Carter asked. “Tell me, and I’ll fix it.”
“And if it’s not fixable?”
“There’s nothing we can’t fix. We love each other.”
The waiter put our drinks on the table. A good thing too because I wanted to flay Carter alive with his careless words. Did he think what we had was love? I’d been stupid to, but I knew better now.
“Matty’s gone awfully long,” he said when the waiter left.
“He’s giving us privacy to talk.”
Carter sighed, reaching out for my hand on the table, but I pulled it away. “I know I was wrong for not coming back when I said I would. It’s just that I hadn’t had a vacation in such a long time. Once I was there, I realized how stressed I was, but that’s no excuse for leaving you with my dad and providing you with no support. But I’m here now. Whatever’s left to do for the wedding, I promise you won’t have to lift a finger. I’ll do it all.”
I fished his engagement ring out of my pocket. His mouth fell open, “Ozzie…”
“You didn’t realize I wasn’t wearing it, did you?”
“I…I didn’t.” He bowed his head as though ashamed.
“When you gave me this ring, I thought I was the happiest I could ever be.” I placed the ring down before him. “I was wrong. We can’t get married.”
“Is this because I went away?”
“No, this is because you don’t love me.”
“Ozzie, don’t say that. I admit I can be dense sometimes, but I do love you.”
I shook my head. “Carter, don’t insult me. Your vacation was exactly what I needed to see you for what you truly are. You’re selfish. You don’t consider my feelings at all. To be honest, I was more miserable with you than I was before I met you.”
Carter sucked in a breath and leaned forward with his arms on the table. “Now I know that’s not true! Why are you saying all this? Ozzie, you’re just angry because I went away.”
“Do you have any idea what you did to me?” I whispered. “How many times you made me cry or feel ashamed of myself? My god, I repressed who I was because I didn’t want to embarrass you, but you’ve never been comfortable dating a bigger guy.”
“Are you kidding me? Ozzie, I love your body and—”
“I’m not finished. You’re going to listen to me, Carter, and let me have my say.” I inhaled deeply and let out a shuddering breath. “You loved having sex with my body, but besides that, you didn’t care for me at all. You knew exactly who and what I was like when you asked me out and to move in with you. Yet you made me doubt myself at every turn. You judged the food I ate—”
“Only because I want you to be healthy and to live a long life.”
“Fuck you, Carter!” I snapped. “You were only concerned about being seen with me in public. Always making offhand comments. Let me tell you something, Carter. I hate, absolutely hate when you call me porky. It’s insulting.”
“I thought it was cute.”
“Don’t gaslight me. I won’t let it happen anymore.” Why was it feeling so hot inside? I wiped a hand across my sweaty brow. “I won’t place all the blame on you that our relationship ended. The truth is, while I’ve been in Bristlecone, I met someone else. We fell in love.”
“You’re…cheating on me?”
I clenched my hands into fists. The words sounded so trivial in comparison to how I felt about Gray. Could you cheat on someone who didn’t want you?
“I suppose that’s what I’m doing, though it feels like so much more.”
“This is rich.” Carter barked a laugh. “You accuse me of not loving you when you’re the one having an affair.”
“Both of us know you weren’t exactly being celibate in the Caribbean, Carter, so don’t insult me.” I took a long drink of my beer, cooling my throat. “I don’t want to drag this out, so I’ll just come out and say it and hope we can move forward with our lives and be happy with the people truly meant for us.”
“Why does this sound like it’s about to get worse?” The color drained from his tanned face. “Oh my god, is it Matty? Is that why he took you to the airport? I’m going to kill him.” He hopped to his feet, nostrils flaring.
“Sit down, Carter. It’s not Matty.” I waited until he sat. “It’s worse. Really worse, so you might want to hang on to the edge of the table. It’s Gray.”
“Gray?”
“Your father.”
Carter shook his head slowly. “What kind of game are you playing, Ozzie? I flew all the way back here from the Caribbean for you, and you’re telling me you’re sleeping with my dad?”
Oh boy, were the people next to us getting their money’s worth for their lunch with the free entertainment.
“I fell in love with him, and I know the whole thing’s a bit weird, but it happened. We’re in love, and we plan to continue seeing each other.”
“No.”
“Your father loves me, Carter. And I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone.” I’d never intended to say that to him, even though it was true, but I wouldn’t take back the words. “You can put all the blame on me. Believe that I seduced him. Call me a whore, whatever, and I won’t say anything. Maybe I am, but it’s not Gray’s fault. The only thing he’s guilty of is showing me how a man’s supposed to treat the guy he cares about.”
“Enough.” Carter clenched his teeth, pulled out his wallet, and took out some cash. “We’re not staying here. Let’s go. Now.”
I grabbed Carter’s wrist and held his gaze. “Saying this might be futile, but ask yourself if you’ve been fair to me. Did you ever treat me right? Didn’t I suffer your verbal abuse in silence? And yes, I could have waited and broken off our relationship first.”
“Then why the fuck didn’t you? You did this to get back at me, didn’t you? To have the last laugh.”
“Because it was my time to be selfish for a change. It’s true I wasn’t thinking about you when I carried on with Gray behind your back. You know what I was thinking? That somebody loves me. All of me. Openly. And I wasn’t going to waste the opportunity to hold on to that. Not for someone who treated me like trash.”
“You can pinpoint all my faults, but it doesn’t change the fact that you were here to plan our wedding, not sleep with my dad! How can I ever forgive you for that?”
“Frankly, Carter, I don’t give a damn, but for your father’s sake, I hope you can forgive him.”