Page 13 of After this Summer (Seasons in Montana: Summer #11)
INDIE
T he entire day was a whirlwind and even though I’m positive Reid and Pen both have somewhere to be, they haven’t left my side.
Harlan and Lake came to help move boxes and furniture, Jesse brought dinner, and even Wren’s boyfriend, Merrick, stopped by with flowers from him and Wren and a hefty gift card to the Wintervale Salon & Spa.
The only thing missing was Beau.
That and I talked to Merrick briefly about a job. And while he assured me he could get me in part-time, it would be a while until something full-time opened up.
Looks like I’m still marrying Beau.
God, in another life I’d marry him in a heartbeat. I just don’t want to marry him because I have to.
“You’re making the face again,” Pen says over the lip of her mocktail.
“I’m just trying to take it all in.”
“She misses her beau,” Reid teases, and I can’t help but laugh.
“That’s honestly terrible.” I scrunch up my nose and they both laugh, my hand falling to my belly as I settle onto the stool in the kitchen.
“How are you feeling?” Pen asks and I hold back my eye roll but just barely, because she’s asking because she cares—not because she’s trying to smother me. Between the move and marrying Beau and having a baby all adding stress to my overflowing plate, I’m more than a little sensitive.
About everything.
“I’m feeling good.” Motioning to my leggings, I say, “I’ve been living in these. I hate jeans anyway but there’s no reason to attempt hard pants right now.”
I’d swapped out my lacey bras for nursing ones with soft stretchy material when my boobs became huge practically overnight. The only thing saving me right now is they don’t hurt every time I breathe.
That was a special time.
“You look gorgeous,” Pen tells me and I thank her.
Because that’s what you’re supposed to do.
But I’m scared.
Scared about the whole labor and delivery part, having a newborn, marrying Beau while trying to get my life on track, and a whole host of other things vying for my attention.
I’d taken the guest bed last night, and even though I’d seen the flash of hurt in his eyes, Beau hadn’t pushed. Our dynamic had shifted in that hospital room, and I just needed space when we walked into his house.
I’d be na?ve to think I’d last the rest of this pregnancy without getting naked with him, but we need boundaries.
Lots of them.
But boundaries would be completely contradictory to the white lingerie I ordered last night before I’d fallen asleep.
For our wedding night.
Ugh.
“It’s weird. I can feel the baby moving and my body is changing, but I feel good now that I’m over the morning sickness. That was awful for a while.”
“I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
“Me too.”
Guilt washes over me like it always does when I think of how trivial it is to complain about being sick for a little while. I’m healthy, the baby is healthy, and that needs to be my focus.
Not Toni.
Not the shop or my savings.
Not my very real , fake marriage to Beau.
“Are you finding out what you’re having?” Pen asks and I shake my head, both in response and to clear my head.
“No, we want to be surprised.” It’s not exactly how the conversation went but it feels better than saying I was trying to distract Beau from having to marry me.
“I can’t handle that kind of suspense,” Reid says with wide, innocent eyes. “What if the doctor just tells me and the rest of you can wait till the birth?”
“Take it up with Beau.” Laughing, I take a sip of my drink as I watch him furiously type out a text.
But then it’s my phone that lights up.
BEAU: Why does Reid want to know the sex of the baby?
INDIE: He said he won’t tell anyone but he hates surprises
BEAU: He loves surprises
INDIE: Y’all can hash that out
BEAU: He can wait like everyone else
Smirking, I hand my phone to Reid, Pen and I dissolving into a fit of giggles when he huffs and turns up his nose.
It’s silly, but somehow that one simple exchange has a tendril of excitement snaking through my veins and now, I just need to hold on to it.