Page 14 of After the Rain

"Mrs. Garrett has made several comments over the year that suggest she's uncomfortable with my presence in her daughter's classroom. The fact that she's now attacking my relationship with a single father seems suspiciously targeted."

Dr. Williams was quiet for a moment. "Ezra, I want you to know that your sexual orientation has never been and will never be a factor in your employment here. We value diversity and inclusion."

"I appreciate that. But Mrs. Garrett's complaints seem designed to force me to choose between my job and any kind of personal life."

"I understand your frustration. And between you and me, Mrs. Garrett has made similar complaints about other teachers over the years. She's... very invested in what she sees as appropriate school conduct."

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying we need to be strategic about how we handle this. Mrs. Garrett has requested that I restrict your contact with the Harrison family to essential educational matters only. She's also suggested that future homework help should take place at school rather than in family homes."

"And if I refuse?"

"Then she's threatened to escalate her concerns to the school board, possibly involving other parents who might share her... perspective on appropriate teacher conduct."

The threat was clear. Comply with Mrs. Garrett's demands, or face a potential career-ending controversy.

"What do you recommend?"

"I recommend that you be extremely careful about how your interactions with Mr. Harrison might be perceived.

Limit personal conversation during school hours, avoid spending extended time at their home, and consider whether social activities together serve Cooper's educational interests or your personal ones. "

"In other words, treat Wade like every other parent."

"In other words, protect yourself from people who might use your personal life against you professionally."

Walking to my car after the meeting, I felt the familiar weight of being forced back into the closet for my own protection. The freedom I'd felt in Cedar Falls, the possibility of being openly myself while maintaining my career, had been an illusion.

Mrs. Garrett had seen to that.

I sat in my Honda for ten minutes, staring at the school building that represented both my calling and my cage. How could I explain to Wade that our growing connection had to end because of one parent's bigotry?

Before I could lose my nerve, I called Wade.

"Hey," he answered, sounding pleased to hear from me. "How was your day?"

"Complicated." I leaned against my steering wheel, trying to figure out how to explain. "Wade, I need to cancel our library plans this weekend."

Silence. Then: "Is everything okay?"

"I had a conversation with my principal today about maintaining professional boundaries with parents. Someone complained about the time I spent at your house over the weekend."

Wade's disappointment was obvious. "Shit. I'm sorry, Ezra. I didn't think—I should have considered how it might look."

"It's not your fault. In a small town, people notice things. And they make assumptions."

"What kind of assumptions?"

I couldn't tell him the truth—that Mrs. Garrett had essentially accused me of using Cooper to get close to him for inappropriate reasons, that my sexuality made innocent interactions seem suspect.

"Just that teachers should maintain professional distance from families," I said instead.

"Who complained?"

"I can't say. But the message was clear—I need to be more careful about appearances."

"I don't want to cause problems for you at work," Wade said quietly. "Your career is too important."

His immediate understanding made the decision even harder. A selfish part of me wanted him to fight for our connection.

"I appreciate that. I just need to step back for a while."

"Does this mean... are we still okay? Can we still talk?"

"I think it's better if we keep things strictly professional for now."

The silence stretched between us, heavy with disappointment and unfinished possibilities.

"Cooper's going to be devastated," Wade said finally.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. I just... fuck, Ezra. I really thought we had something good starting."

The admission hung between us, confirming what I'd hoped but been afraid to trust.

"We did. We do. But timing is everything, and right now the timing sucks."

"Yeah. It really does."

That evening, I sat in my quiet apartment with takeout Thai food, feeling the sharp contrast between this morning's domestic fantasy and tonight's professional reality.

My phone showed two missed calls from Wade—probably wanting to discuss how to explain our cancelled plans to Cooper—but I wasn't sure I trusted myself to maintain appropriate distance if I heard his voice again.

The loneliness felt sharper after experiencing what belonging might feel like.

Uncle John called for our weekly check-in, immediately sensing my subdued mood.

"What's wrong, kiddo? You sound like someone stole your favorite lesson plan."

Without revealing specifics, I shared my struggle between professional safety and personal connection. John listened thoughtfully before offering gentle wisdom.

"Sounds like you're dealing with the same bullshit I faced thirty years ago. People who can't handle seeing gay men live normal lives, so they manufacture scandals to keep us isolated."

"It's not that simple, Uncle John. I have to work in this community. I can't afford to make enemies."

"And you can't afford to let bigots control your life either. Sometimes standing up for yourself means accepting that some people will never like you anyway."

"Easy for you to say. You're tenured at a university. Elementary school teachers in small towns don't have the same protections."

"You're right. I'm sorry. But kiddo, I also know what it's like to let fear make all your decisions. Twenty years later, you realize you've been so busy protecting yourself that you forgot to actually live."

After we hung up, text messages from Brook started arriving.

Brook

Heard about your meeting. Garrett's a fucking harpy. Don't let her win.

Brook

Wade seems like a good man who's figuring things out. Maybe he's worth a conversation about what you both want.

Brook

Also, if you need character references for the inevitable school board meeting, I've got a whole list of parents who think you're the best teacher their kids have ever had.

Her encouragement warred with my carefully constructed defenses. I'd built my life around careful boundaries and professional protection for good reason. Cedar Falls wasn't as progressive as it pretended to be.

But lying in bed that night, I allowed myself to imagine different scenarios. Wade understanding and stepping back. Wade fighting for our connection despite obstacles. Wade revealing feelings that made the risks worthwhile.

Underneath all the speculation was a growing certainty that what happened between us Saturday was too significant to simply ignore.

The way we'd moved around each other in his kitchen, the easy conversation that lasted for hours, the reluctance to say goodbye—that wasn't just friendship or professional courtesy.

That was connection. Real, rare, worth-fighting-for connection.

But it was also dangerous. Mrs. Garrett had made that clear.

Tomorrow would require decisions about whether safety or possibility should guide my choices. But tonight, I let myself remember the warmth of Wade's home, Cooper's laughter during story time, and the way Wade had looked at me like I was someone worth knowing.

Maybe Brook was right. Maybe some things were worth being brave for.

Or maybe some things were too dangerous to risk, no matter how much you wanted them.

The attraction I felt for Wade had grown beyond simple interest into something that scared me—the desire to know him better, to understand what made him laugh, to see if this connection could become something real.

But wanting to explore something and being able to have it were two very different things.

And right now, the distance between them felt insurmountable.