Page 13

T he sun streamed through my window and woke me. I blinked against the light, and a sharp pain pierced my left eyeball. My French door was open, and a warm breeze came in off the balcony.

The first thing I noticed after my eyes cleared was a heaviness to my bed. I looked over and Marco lay face down in the pillow next to me. His tan skin rested on my white cotton sheets. The blanket covered his bottom half. Almost.

Oh shit. Did we have sex? I couldn’t remember. I recalled the kissing, some heavy petting, I think there might have been some fondling, and tongue action on his part, but the rest of the night was a blur.

I had on a t-shirt and panties. Good sign. Maybe I didn’t miss out on extraordinary sex with Marco. My head ached and my mouth tasted like cat litter. I needed water, a toothbrush, and French fries.

A muffled caw squawked in the room, and I lifted my head. At the foot of my bed sat a big red hawk with my VS pink lacy bra clasped in his beak. He perched on my footboard and raised his right talon to show me the catch of the day. A snake wiggled helplessly between the sharp talons.

I screamed and scrambled to stand on my bed. Clutching the sheets to my body, my free hand grasped my headboard. My jostling woke Marco.

He leapt out of bed and grabbed the Confederate sword angled next to my nightstand. I ignored the brief flash from last night of him holding the sword and exclaiming he was King Arthur. Did that happen?

His upper half was naked and glorious, his bottom half clad in navy boxers currently tented by his manhood.

“What’s wrong?” he shouted.

I pointed at the hawk and eyed his bottom half.

He glanced down. “It’s a morning thing,” he shrugged, keeping the sword pointed at the hawk.

“Where did the bird come from?” Marco asked.

“I think it belongs to Darryl.”

“Your cousin from the bar last night?”

“He lives next door.”

Marco sighed.

“He brought a few animal friends with him when he moved in,” I explained.

The bird gave me the stink eye and then flew out the door, releasing the snake before he left. The snake slithered down the bedpost to the floor. I couldn’t control the blood curdling scream that followed the snake as it shifted toward Marco, who promptly chopped off his head with the sword.

“What’s the matter?” Gertie rushed into the bedroom, tying her bathrobe.

Brodie followed behind her rubbing the sleep from his eyes. His jeans were open at the top button. “What’s all the ruckus?”

Gertie’s eyes took in Marco. He lowered the sword to the level of his crotch.

Brodie grimaced.

“One of Darryl’s pets came in through the French door,” I explained. “A hawk. It had a snake in its claws.”

Gertie peered around the bed at the decapitated snake. The reptile didn’t faze Gertie. She yawned. “I guess we had a good time last night. I was out for the count as soon as my head hit the pillow.”

“Ya, which means I didn’t have such a good time,” Brodie teased.

Gertie’s face flushed a light shade of pink.

“Let’s go make the coffee,” Gertie said and left the room. Brodie followed her.

“Did we have a good time last night?” I asked, still standing on my bed.

A grin spread across Marco’s face. “I had more fun than Brodie.”

Before I could ask him if we did the deed, Gertie shrieked from downstairs, and Brodie hollered, “Stop tha’ ya arse!”

“I’ll check it out if you want to get dressed,” I told Marco. Grabbing a pair of running shorts, I slid them on and snatched a headband off my dresser to hold back my unruly hair. I left him sword in hand. His tent was slowly losing its shape.

A llama stood in my kitchen chewing the tea towel my mother gave me that cleverly read, Don’t go bacon my heart.

“Where’d this beast come from?” Brodie asked.

“Three guesses,” Gertie said, moving around the llama to start the coffee.

I tried to pry the remnants of the tea towel from its mouth.

The sliding glass door stood open. “Did he open the door?” I asked.

Darryl entered from the backyard. A raccoon rode shotgun on his shoulder. “Sorry, I heard the screaming and I figured Baracko got loose.”

“Baracko?” I asked.

“Baracko Llama,” Gertie stopped, coffee in hand. “Really?”

“What can I say? I’m a hard-core Democrat.” Darryl moved toward the llama. “Baracko won’t hurt a fly. He’s just curious about his new neighbors. Daphne, on the other hand, she’s got a bit of sass to her. Best not make her mad.”

“Is Daphne the hawk?” I frowned at Darryl. When he nodded, I explained, “Your hawk brought her breakfast to enjoy on the foot of my bed.”

A few worry lines burrowed into Darryl’s forehead. “She’s a social eater. Pretty hot outside. You might want to keep your door shut in the mornin’s. She likes to eat in the AC.”

When my frown didn’t change, Darryl handed me the piece of tea towel he’d retrieved from Baracko’s mouth.

Marco entered the kitchen dressed in the jeans and white t-shirt from the prior night. “Whoa, a llama.”

He carried the dead snake over the blade of the sword.

Darryl’s voice caught. “What happened to Ivy?”

Everyone looked at the snake. Darryl choked back a sob. “Daphne likes to take Ivy out for a morning ride—to get some fresh air.”

Now that the snake wasn’t wiggling around, I saw it wore a little harness. I swallowed hard.

“Sorry man, I didn’t know it was your snake.” Marco apologized as Darryl removed the carcass from the blade.

“I understand. Ivy’s been known to bite a time or two. Do you have her head? I’d like to get her stuffed and mounted.”

The four of us stood mouth agape staring at Darryl.

“Um. There’s a shop next to my brother’s office. I’ll be happy to take Ivy there and have them do it for you,” I said. It was the least I could do. The guy was almost in tears.

“Sure, thanks,” he sniffed.

I held out a plastic grocery sack and Darryl placed the snake inside.

Marco took the bag from me and went upstairs to find the head.

Darryl led Baracko outside. “I’ll just take him home. You won’t mention my pets to your Ma will ya?”

I shook my head. The raccoon reached over and plucked the glittery headband out of my hair.

“Sorry, Tonto likes shiny things.” Darryl retrieved the headband and handed it back to me.

Darryl stroked the llama’s neck. “Baracko’s not much trouble.”

Baracko began to chew on the honeysuckle trailing up the lattice work on the patio cover.

Darryl smiled sheepishly and they left with pieces of the flower petals stuck to Baracko’s nose. The raccoon waved at me over Darryl’s shoulder.

I secured the gate behind them and wondered how much a padlock would cost. When I returned to the kitchen, Marco and Brodie sat at the table. Both men stared down into their coffee cups.

Brodie’s lack of witty dialog indicated he wasn’t sure how he felt about me sharing a bed with Marco. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that either.

Gertie stirred cream in her coffee and acknowledged the strained silence. She goaded Brodie to go upstairs and drink their coffee on the balcony.

After they left, I made a cup of coffee and sat down across from Marco. “Where did you put the snake?”

“In the freezer, next to the Popsicles.” He paused. “I wasn’t sure how to package it before the embalming. I used a Ziplock.”

“Thanks,” I said. “I’ll call the taxidermy place before I leave for work tomorrow and make the arrangements.”

We drank our coffee in silence.

“Did we, you know?” I finally asked him.

“You don’t remember?” His blue eyes leveled with mine.

“Everything’s a bit fuzzy after we left the bar.”

“Wow,” he leaned back in his chair. “I made a great impression.”

“I’m pretty sure the answer is no, but I was really plowed last night, and if I did, I’m…well…I’m not ready to be with you in that way.”

He stood, leaving his half-full cup on the table. “I think I’ll head home on that note.”

“Marco, wait.” I stood and grabbed his forearm.

He turned and pressed his lips together before he spoke. “Just for the record, both of us had a lot to drink last night, but I wouldn’t take advantage of a drunk woman. Besides, I want our first time together to be unforgettable.”

Relief washed over my face, and he acknowledged my reaction with an icy stare. “Later.”

After he left, Gertie bounded down the stairs as I reheated my cold cup of coffee.

“Well, was he like over the top?”

“Gertie, I didn’t have sex with Marco, and I drank too much.” I rubbed my temples trying to wish my headache away. “I can’t remember much from last night.”

“You finally had a chance for a roll in the hay with the blond god and you can’t remember a thing?”

“Seems so.”

“What a waste.” She handed me two ibuprofen and a bottle of water.

I washed them down with the water, thanked her, and took my reheated coffee to the table.

“Brodie seemed a little put off that Marco spent the night.”

“He’ll get over it. Being best buds with Caiyan and all. He thinks Caiyan has joined the Mafusos for other reasons than his key.” She refilled her mug and sat down next to me at the table.

“Caiyan should have confided in me, Gertie. He’s engaged to Satan’s bitch. Am I supposed to sit around and hope my prince charming has an ulterior motive?”

“You shouldn’t have to act like Mother Theresa when he’s plastered all over the cover of the National Enquirer with the twiggy witch.”

I chuckled at the nickname.

She smiled. “Brodie came up with it. Fits her, right?”

Gertie was right on both accounts. Caiyan’s trust issues were getting old, and I wanted more. I wasn’t sure I wanted more with Marco. He had his own share of issues.

“Besides, who’d blame you if you had a taste of Marco. Did you see his shorts this morning? Lord have mercy, he’s hiding something amazing in those drawers.”

I couldn’t control my giggle at her off-color remark. I loved living with Gertie. When she first moved in, we were so opposite I thought living together would be a disaster, but she became my best friend, my confidant, and my wing woman. We finished our coffee, and I headed upstairs to shower.

Brodie met me at the top of the stairs, dressed and freshly shaved.

“Hey, about last night,” I began. “With Marco…”

“Jen, ya don’t have to explain ta me, but as long as I’ve known McGregor, he’s always had my back. He wouldn’t keep intel from me unless it put me in harm’s way.”

He started down the stairs, stopped, and turned toward me. “Marco has always been about numero uno. When we needed him, he refused, and now that he’s set his sights on you, he’s free to join the gang? Think about it.”

My head throbbed from all the thinking, and the effects from overindulging in booze last night amped up my pain. Brodie continued down the stairs. I headed for a shower to wash away the headache and the heartache.

The warm water relaxed my tense neck muscles. As I massaged the shampoo into my hair, I disregarded Marco’s annoyance with me and Brodie’s steadfast support of Caiyan. Both men would have to get over it.

I had a date. July second. The moon cycle would open at noon the day of the wedding. I heaved a sigh of relief. They wouldn’t jump. The moon cycle would be well underway before they said I do. I found it interesting Mahlia planned the wedding during a moon cycle, but who knows what the Mafusos are plotting.

After I showered and dressed, I sat down on my bed to call Jake. I would inform him about the date of the wedding and politely tell him I was going to attend.

“Hey,” he said after the first ring. “I was just about to call you.”

“You were?”

“Yeah, the date for the wedding’s been set.”

“I know. I found out last night.”

Jake blew out a long breath. “Sorry, I should have called sooner. I was…distracted.”

“No problem. I saw Ragina at a club last night and she was happy to inform me.”

“Ragina?”

“She saw it on Gossip Gal.”

“Damn, Jen, I’m sorry.” He paused. “You OK?”

“I’m dealing.” I eased into the request. “Jake, I have to attend the wedding. I want to talk to him. He’s not going to jump in the middle of his wedding.”

“You don’t know that. The answer is still no. We have other brigands to follow, and I need you on base. I’ve already got eyes on the ground at the wedding.”

He was sending an undercover agent. I called bullshit. Mahlia wasn’t going to honeymoon in Pennsylvania, but I left it in the wind for now.

“In case he decides to jump the following moon cycle, research the battles that take place in August. Maybe he’s going somewhere I can send you that doesn’t involve over fifty thousand casualties.”

I was thrilled Jake considered sending me to find Caiyan, but it would be too late. He’d be a married man.

“Sure.” I missed the back and forth banter Jake and I used to have. The conversations we shared over beer and wings. For the past few months he’d been all business. “So, how’s the secret girlfriend?”

“Fine, and she’s not a secret.”

“Why haven’t I met her?”

“It hasn’t been the right time.” He exhaled a long, slow breath into the phone. “I’m working. Can we have this conversation another time?”

“Yes, but as the adjudicator of any females I might be destined to hang out with, I would like to meet her before you get knee deep in love.”

“Don’t worry.” He chuckled. “Have I ever dated anyone you disliked?”

Ragina came to mind, followed by Bambi, and a woman whose name I couldn’t recall, but Gertie thought she had teeth like a horse.

“Never mind,” he said in the absence of my answer. His cell did the blip thing when another caller wanted his attention. “I’ve got another call, we’ll talk later.”

I thumbed off the call, leaned back in my cozy chair, and stared at the ceiling trying to put together the puzzle of the sword and Caiyan’s mysterious wedding. The problem was, this ten-thousand-piece puzzle had a few key pieces missing.

I raised my head and caught movement out of the corner of my eye. A brown ball of fluff carrying a flash of metal scurried down the leg of my antique dressing table and took off toward the staircase.

Skipping a few stair treads I rushed after the furball and shouted at Gertie to close the window in the den. I caught up with it trying to make a getaway out the open window. Gertie slammed the window shut and I cornered it behind the end table.

“What is it?” I asked

“I think it’s the raccoon.” She propped her oven mitt clad hands on her hips. “I was about to take my cake out of the oven. If it burns, Darryl’s going to bake me a new one, and I’ll be the proud owner of a coonskin cap.”

I bent down and peered between the legs of the table. The raccoon clasped my favorite sterling silver charm bracelet.

“He’s got the designer charm bracelet that Caiyan gave me.”

“The one he bought you after the fight over that eighties rock star?”

I scowled at her. “Yes, that one.”

“We should get that back. It could be valuable on eBay.”

“I’m not selling my bracelet on eBay.”

“Just saying, since Caiyan’s going to marry Satan’s bitch, you might want to gather up all the baubles and trade them in on a cruise to the Bahamas.”

The idea of Gertie and me lying on the beach in Bimini wasn’t unappealing. If Caiyan went through with the wedding, I’d reconsider, but right now I wanted the bracelet.

“How can we get my bracelet away from the little jewelry thief?”

“Stay there. I’m going to save my cake and get the broom.”

“What do I do if he runs out?”

“Grab him”

“What if he bites me?”

“He’s Darryl’s pet, I doubt he has rabies, but put these on in case he gets feisty.” She tossed me the oven mitts.

I stuck them on my hands and assumed a defensive position.

She returned a few minutes later, broom and laundry basket in hand. She handed me the basket. “When he runs out, trap him in the basket.”

I held the basket upside down with my oven mitts and waited to pounce.

“Get outta there critter!” She poke-checked it with the broom, and it shot out and headed in my direction.

I tossed the basket over it and did a victory dance.

The raccoon lifted the basket off, then hissed at me. My bracelet dangled from its furry lips.

I leapt and tackled it with the oven mitts. The raccoon broke free and crawled over my head and onto my back.

“Get him off! Get him off!” I squealed.

“Quit squirmin’ or I’ll hit you!” Gertie shouted.

“Hit me with wha—”

She swatted at the animal with the broom. The creature “oofed” as Gertie made contact. The power of the swing caused Gertie to lose her balance. She fell on top of me and I oofed as the creature went flying across the room, landing in Darryl’s arms as he entered the den.

“Tonto, what kind of mischief have you been up to?” Darryl cooed at the bandit.

The animal pointed a long accusatory finger at Gertie and me panting on the den floor.

“Your raccoon stole my bracelet,” I said to Darryl.

Darryl scolded the fluff ball and retrieved my bracelet from the raccoon’s tapered fingers.

I stood, and he handed me back the bracelet.

“Sorry, Tonto can’t help himself when it comes to shiny things.”

“Why is he wearing that harness?” Gertie asked, standing and picking up the broom from the floor.

The raccoon cowered against Darryl.

Tonto had on a harness similar to the one the snake wore before Marco beheaded it.

“It’s a transportation sling. Daphne uses it to carry the other animals. Would you like to see how it works?”

“I would,” Gertie said.

I shrugged. “Why not?”

“I’ll get Daphne and meet y’all out front. There’s plenty of room in the field across from the townhouse.”

We met Darryl outside. Daphne perched on Darryl’s outstretched forearm, which was covered in a protective leather glove. Her dark, beady eyes took us in. He handed me a piece of aluminum foil wadded up into a ball.

“Hang on to this until I give you the signal, and then toss it about ten feet in front of you,” he said and then walked about twenty paces from us.

Tonto rode on Darryl’s opposite shoulder. The raccoon’s ringtail wrapped around his neck. The animal seemed almost excited about his imminent adventure.

Darryl released the hawk. Daphne spread her wings and flew upwards, then arced and glided across the air. Her graceful body coasted in the summer breeze. She circled the field.

“Throw the foil,” he said to me.

I tossed the shiny metallic ball on the ground.

“Ticktock, Tonto,” Darryl commanded.

Tonto jumped off Darryl’s shoulder and started to run. The raccoon scooped up the ball of foil and kept running.

Darryl clicked a small plastic device he held in his hand and the hawk swooped down and picked up the raccoon, carrying him high in the sky.

Darryl clicked twice and Daphne did a 360, flew low over Darryl, and released the raccoon into Darryl’s arms.

The hawk did a few more circles, stretched her wings, and glided over a clump of trees in the distance. The magnificence of the bird sent shivers up my spine.

“Darryl, that was fantastic,” I said.

“Amazing,” Gertie agreed.

Darryl gave a low whistle, and the hawk landed on his arm. He popped a treat into the air, and Daphne caught it in her beak.

“They make a good team,” I said as Darryl walked over to us.

“Yep, back in the day, before my singing career took off, the three of us might have borrowed a few items from an outdoor flea market.”

I arched an eyebrow at Gertie.

“What kind of items?” She asked him.

“Mostly jewelry, small pistols, a few switchblades, cell phones, oh, and once I was able to snag an entire collection of U.S. Quarters. I had one for every state.” He dropped his head. “It was the cell phones that got me. I didn’t realize one belonged to the sheriff. He used the Find A Phone app and picked me up. We didn’t take nothing real expensive mind you, just a way to make a little extra income.”

“Darryl, most people make extra income by delivering pizzas,” Gertie said.

“I don’t like pizza. I’m lactose intolerant.”

“Did you go to jail?” I asked him.

“House arrest. It’s the reason I had to live with my mee-maw. Let me tell you, living at the jail house would have been a lesser punishment. Mee-maw don’t take kind to laying low. Every morning she had me up at the crack of dawn doing chores, made me go to church on Sunday and Wednesday nights. If it weren’t for my animals, it would have been a real bummer.”

“Um, being arrested is supposed to be a real bummer. It’s so you don’t commit the crime again,” Gertie said.

“I’ve been clean for about a year. I’m on the straight and narrow, no more stealing.”

“That’s good to hear Darryl. I hope we won’t have any problems with Tonto borrowing any of our things again,” I said to him.

“I’ll keep a sharp eye on him.” Darryl scratched the raccoon’s head. “He won’t bother you no more. I swear.”

Gertie whistled the “Ballad of Davy Crockett” as we left Darryl working with the hawk.

I gave her a jab with my elbow.

“It’s only a warning.”