Page 37

The flight back was tense, but at least it was brief.

I kept glancing at Iyoni, whose serene countenance gave nothing away. Kara hadn’t let her nimbus fade until we were on the helicopter. She sat stiffly with her hands in her lap.

We didn’t speak. Moreau would have bugs, he’d be listening.

We landed back at SPAR HQ, and in the short time I’d been gone, the building had taken on a whole different meaning.

I’d never help Moreau, but that didn’t stop part of my brain from analyzing weaknesses, giving me ‘what if’ scenarios for how I could undermine and sabotage the very institution that stood for peace and order in the supe community.

Security let us into the building and down to retrieve Kara’s Aston Martin. It was quieter than a weekday but not by much, the parking lot two-thirds full.

Iyoni climbed into the back without protest, and Kara gunned the engine, taking us home.

I couldn’t bear the silence anymore, and turned in my seat, meeting Iyoni’s eyes. “Well?”

“Well what?” she asked, her voice as soft as ever.

Kara got in before me. “Why didn’t you kill Moreau? Are you going to kill Xan?”

Yeah, that.

“Maybe her weapon’s in her bag at home.”

Iyoni seemed amused. “I’m never without my sword.”

I raised an eyebrow, taking in her white clothing and obvious lack of any accessories. “Is that figurative?”

“No, very literal,” she said seriously. “It manifests when it’s needed.”

“Handy. I’d turn around, but I’d prefer you not to stab me in the back.”

A faint smile touched her lips. “I think you’re both laboring under a misinterpretation of how celestial justice works.”

“Enlighten us,” Kara ground out, swerving sharper than was necessary to overtake a family sedan.

Iyoni righted herself in the back seat. “It’s not my role to punish wrongdoing. I don’t interfere with human or supernatural laws. And I’m not here to judge Silas Moreau.”

“So he gets a pass, and I don’t?” I laughed. “Figures.”

“I understand you’re upset, Xan.”

“Upset doesn’t begin to cover it.” I turned to face forward. “I’m fucking sick of being a pawn in others’ twisted games. I just feel so …”

“Trapped,” Kara bit out.

“Yeah.” I glanced across at her. Her face was tense, lips pressed into a scowl, nostrils rimmed white. It hadn’t been easy on her, either.

“So how do you work?” Kara asked Iyoni, finding her in the rearview mirror. “What are the rules of this game?”

“Justice isn’t preventative, it’s conclusive,” Iyoni said.

“Meaning?” Kara snapped, her patience evidently as ragged as my own.

“Meaning that posturing, coercion and political manipulation aren’t crimes. Agency and choice must be preserved.” She paused, then added, “It was fun watching Xan make his.”

“Fun?” I gave a humorless laugh. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“I did, actually. It gave me great insight into you, and that’s what I’m here for.”

“Xan agreed to work with Moreau,” Kara said. I glanced at her sharply, but she continued on. “He made his choice. What does that mean?”

“Not much,” Iyoni replied, sounding almost bored. “Saying, ‘yes, of course I’ll nuke SPAR HQ’ isn’t the same as nuking SPAR HQ.”

I hadn’t been aware of the knot in my stomach until her words allowed it to ease. “So you judge me on my actions, not my words.”

“Not quite. I judge you on the intent of your actions. A subtle but important difference.” She smiled serenely, like the very concept made everything right in her world. “Think of it like judging who you are, not what you do.”

“Good,” Kara said firmly. “Then you’re safe, Master.”

I wasn’t so sure. There was no way out of Moreau’s double-bind. Sabotage SPAR or sacrifice Kara—I deserved to be judged whichever option I took, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to risk my girl.

*

I sat and stewed for the rest of the day while Kara tiptoed around me and Iyoni maintained the perfect picture of indifference.

My phone dinged with a text, and my blood pressure shot up. But it was only Emma, updating me with her news, and I couldn’t bring myself to care.

By nighttime, I was weary to the bone. I’d got nowhere, I’d had enough. There were no solutions.

“ Fuck. ”

Kara jumped, shooting me a concerned glance, and Iyoni looked up from her phone.

“I can’t think of anything ,” I said. “There’s no way out of this.”

Kara clenched her hands in her lap. “We could always flee, Master. It doesn’t matter where we go, so long as we’re together.”

“Don’t think I haven’t considered it. But your father was adamant—he’d hunt me down if I tried.

Can we really stay ahead of Moreau, with all the resources he has?

” I shook my head, answering my own question.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m not trained to live off-grid with a stash of spare passports and stolen credit cards. ”

“SPAR might help. We could ask—”

“Marlow?” The word carried my contempt. “She’s in Moreau’s pocket. Even if she weren’t, Moreau has people inside SPAR. We use them to disappear, we may as well hide in a tent on his front lawn.”

Kara looked at Iyoni. “Would the celestials help?”

“We don’t get involved,” Iyoni replied, watching me like I was a circus monkey about to perform a mildly entertaining trick.

“How convenient for you.” I got up, pacing across to the window. It was late enough that the city was quiet, looking peaceful despite the conflict everyone said was coming. Not as peaceful as my guitar would’ve been. I’d never gone so long without playing it.

“I could try running,” Kara said, staring down at her lap. “If I’m not here, you don’t have to do what he says.”

“First, you can’t make it to the parking lot without the bond becoming uncomfortable, so how would you manage away from me? Second, he’d find you, sooner or later. Third—”

Her head came up. “So what if he does? Maybe he kills me, maybe he doesn’t. At least you won’t have to destroy SPAR.”

“Third,” I said firmly, carrying on like she hadn’t spoken, “there’s no way I’m risking you.” I thumped the window. “It’s pointless, anyway. He’d just take something else of mine to squeeze.”

“What else do you have?” Kara asked with a note of genuine interest. “Your guitar was lost in the fire.”

I gave a short laugh. “Yeah, and right now I’m grateful for it.” I sighed, then answered her question. “Given what he knows about me … Emma? Paul? I wouldn’t put it past him.”

She nodded thoughtfully, her shoulders tensing. “Yes, you’re right. Emma, of course. That would be just as effective, wouldn’t it?”

“Effective, yes, but not ‘just as effective’.”

She met my gaze, her eyes gleaming with unshed tears, her voice soft. “I thought Emma meant everything to you.”

“She’s a friend. And a norm. I feel protective of her.” My lips twitched. “Paul somewhat less so. Neither of them deserve to be embroiled in this. But everything?” I shook my head. “Emma’s not you.”

Iyoni clapped her hands together. “Oh! That’s so sweet !”

We both gave her a look.

“Sorry,” she said. “Observing. Like I’m not here.” She made a gesture. “Carry on.”

I sighed, the mood broken. “I’m going to bed. Maybe a night’s sleep will help.”

Kara rose quickly. “Yes, I’m tired too.”

Iyoni smirked. “If you leave the door open, I’ll keep observing.”

“Do you take anything seriously?” I asked her.

She pretended to ponder. “My game, and … justice. Otherwise, not so much.”

I walked off, Kara following.

“Good night, lovebirds,” Iyoni called.

“She’s a bit insane, isn’t she?” Kara said, once her bedroom door was closed.

“More than a bit.” I pondered it. “I find it refreshing. Makes me think I have a chance of not getting assassinated by her.”

“That won’t happen,” Kara said, as she leaned on her dresser and toed her shoes off. “I keep telling you, you’re a good man.”

I grimaced. “Tell me that again in a week or two, when I’ve handed SPAR to Moreau on a plate, helped him start a war, and I’m directly responsible for the deaths of thousands as a result.”

She winced, then turned to me, tears in her eyes. “I sat on that damn sofa, listening to Moreau, feeling the tension in your body just through the touch of your hand, and I thought … he’s trapping you. Again. I knew you’d hate it, with every fiber of your soul.”

I clenched my jaw. “You’re not wrong.”

“Maybe we should ask Iyoni for advice.” Her voice softening slightly. “Insane or not, she grows on you.”

“She does,” I agreed quietly. “But she’s all Miss Indifference. She’s already said the celestials won’t help.”

She took a pace toward me. “There is another option.”

“At this point, I’ll consider anything.”

Another pace, her chin coming up. “Bond more demons, Master,” she said, words full of conviction. “Bond a dozen. Two dozen. Grow stronger . Do what they fear you’re going to do anyway, but do it now, before they can stop you.”

I crossed my arms and stared down at the carpet, the pull of it sharper than I wanted to admit, hating that I was tempted. “Not an option.”

She strode to the bed where her tablet sat, picking it up and swiping it open. “I’ve been looking through the applicants Vera sent to me. Some of them are here in New Providence. Let me set up some meetings.”

“I said no , Kara.”

She spun to face me. “Why not? Think how much more powerful you could be if you bonded—”

“Bonded?” I echoed, cutting her off. “It’s a cute euphemism for slavery. We just talked about being trapped, and you want me to trap a dozen more demons?”

“What does it matter if they’re willing?”

“You weren’t willing.”

She cringed. “You’re right, I wasn’t. But I am now.”

“It’s different.” I paced across the room—movement was the only thing keeping the air from thickening until I couldn’t breathe.

“You’re proposing I tie myself to a bunch of people we don’t know.

Not just for this—a flash in the pan while I get Moreau off my back—but forever.

Even if I could, I wouldn’t, and I can’t—I don’t even know how I bonded you. ”

Kara set the tablet on the dresser. “I’m sorry, you’re right. Of course you are. I was just …” She took a breath. “Just trying to find a way through this.”

“I’m the one that’s sorry.” I sighed. “Sorry you got dragged in. Not every day one of the world’s strongest demons casually threatens to kill you, eh?”

“I suppose not.” She laughed bitterly, then sobered and met my gaze. “I still wouldn’t change anything. Not if it meant going back to when I walked away from you in the bar.”

My lips twitched. “I really admired the way you swished your braid and tail in perfect unison. And the contempt you conveyed with that single look over your shoulder?” I winked. “Chef’s kiss.”

“Don’t remind me.” She brushed a strand of hair past her ear and a playful smile tugged at her lips. “I’m probably due a spanking for that, right?”

I laughed—which was a surprise, all things considered. “Tell you what. Let’s rain-check that for when all this shit is behind us. Then we can go find a nice hotel somewhere way the hell out of the city—with very good soundproofing—and I’ll spank you until you can’t sit down.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.” She gave me a look full of heat. “It has to be over your lap, though.”

“No,” I said slowly. “I’m doing the spanking, so I’ll decide.”

She shivered. “Yes, Master.”