Page 16 of Adepts and Alchemists

Angelo’s hostile expression melted away, leaving him sober and thoughtful. There was an instant where I could almost see his appeal. When he dropped the mask, he was a surprisingly perceptive person, except in matters of the heart. There was anintelligent man beneath the frat boy attitude. I liked a man who kept his mind sharp.

“I didn’t think of it that way.”

“None of them do. Yet, I have to accommodate them because it’s their choice to help me. And, trust me, I know I don’t even deserve that. They’re putting their lives on the line. I just...”

A shudder seized me. To my horror, I felt moisture bead on my lashes. I turned my face away from him before the tears could fall.

“Just what?” he prompted gently. I hated him for the tone. It was almost... kind. If he was being kind to me, I must have been projecting more suffering than I thought. The truth of the matter was that I didn’t want Angelo to be kind to me because we both knew I didn’t deserve it. I could handle him better when he was an antagonistic prick.

“I don’t want to die like that again,” I whispered. “It’s selfish. I know that. I want her back. I do. I’ll put myself through it if I have to but...”

“Oh,” Angelo whispered. “I can see why that might be... um... traumatizing.”

I let out a watery snort. “You have a talent for understatement, incubus.”

He was silent for a beat. “I could do it.”

“Do what?”

He kicked the tire, not meeting my eyes. “End it. If he starts it.”

“What are you talking about?”

He swallowed hard. “If it comes down to it, I can end you before Murrain does. I don’t like killing, especially not like that. But if you die, I can at least make sure it’s not what you went through the first time.”

“You’d kill me?” It was a weird question to ask.

He nodded. “I’ve done it with a kiss before. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know she had a heart condition…” His voice faded, and I could tell the memory bothered him. After another second, his attention was returned to me. “The point is that I have a connection to Lydia’s body now. And doing that… well, it would be near instantaneous.”

One scorching kiss with an incubus to end it all. I’d heard of worse ways to go. But...

“Lydia...”

“Would want you to die quickly and painlessly,” he answered firmly. “Not that she’d want you to die at all. The fuzzy-headed woman has too much of a heart for that.”

A bleak laugh escaped me. “It’s so inconvenient.”

He chuckled. “I know. It’s also why you love her. I think the Mortons have cornered the market on altruism. It makes them ridiculously hard to hate.” He paused then and nodded, looking at me. “I think you ought to give their family a chance. I’ve seen what they can do under pressure. It’s impressive for anyone, but especially for mundanes. They’re at such a disadvantage it’s almost not fair. Humans are only dangerous because there are so many of them.”

I dabbed the tears away with my sleeve. “I will take you up on your offer. If you promise to make it not hurt.”

“I promise. I’d make it quick. If it looks like it’s going that way, I’ll make sure you go out painlessly.”

I leaned back against the truck, letting out a shuddering breath. The relief that washed over me was almost euphoric. I’d been tortured to death. It had taken a while for me to come to grips with that, let alone to voice it aloud.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

Angelo looked away, shrugging. “I’d want someone to mercy kill me if I were in your position. It seems fair to offer.”

“Still,” I said with a sniff. “I’m not sure I’m going to be stable enough to pull this off. It’s like I can still feel the pain. It’s an echo inside me. This phantom pain. It’s ridiculous, I know. It’s not like I’m actually being spelled right now.”

But the suffering had made an imprint on my body. I could feel it in the way I held Lydia’s limbs. I felt stiff—like if I moved too quickly in any direction, I’d break.

Angelo lifted his hand again, pausing for a moment before tangling his fingers with mine. The relief was immediate. A low level buzz started somewhere around my toes. It wasn’t lust, exactly. It was something deeper. Contentment. Peace.

“You’re hopelessly infatuated,” I said with a wispy grin.

“So are you. Not the same way, sure, but you still can’t resist her. She’s kind of magnetic, isn’t she?”