Page 48 of Acolyte (Tempris #2)
Skye’s fists clenched at his sides. “With all due respect, I didn’t come here to ask for your permission. I’m going with the search-and-rescue parties. Telling you was merely a courtesy.”
“Please, Skye.” Sarina’s voice was soft and sad. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be. Be reasonable.”
“I am being reasonable,” Skye insisted, even if it felt like a lie. The resolve he’d felt so strongly the night before began to waver, so he clung to stubbornness and anger instead. “And I’m leaving first thing tomorrow with or without your blessing.”
“You know I can’t let you leave,” Ivain said far too calmly.
“Then you’re going to have to stake me to the ground,” Skye growled. “Unlike some, I still give a shit about the people I claim to care about.”
Skye turned to leave, but there was a sharp gust of wind accompanied by a spark of aether. Ivain was standing in front of him faster than he could blink, one hand gripped around his bicep.
“You think your pain means more?!” Ivain barked in his face. The grip on his arm was almost painful, but Skye returned the old man’s snarl with one of his own. Sarina shouted something in the background, but it was just noise.
“You lost a friend, but I lost a child,” Ivain continued, his eyes hard as ice.
“One I have already risked more to recover than I can justify. I sent Aiden. I jeopardized a healer during a time of crisis to hunt for a single human girl. What if he had died? Or been captured? How many more would have been lost to that single act of selfishness?”
Skye clenched his jaw until it hurt. “You don’t need me here. You have others that could take my place.”
“You’re either stupid or willfully ignorant if you believe that.
” Ivain gave him a shake. “Think it through. Please, just stop to think for one moment. What happens if I send you away and we’re attacked?
What’s the result, the consequence of that action?
Will it be Sarina’s life? Aiden’s? Someone else that we care about?
You’re my best fighter and my Precept, and during a time when we have spies in our midst—unlocking our tunnels and leaving us vulnerable—I need people I can trust. I need you, Skylen.
The same way I needed you back in Della. Surely, you can understand that.”
A heavy quiet settled over the room, broken only by the steady tick-tock of the clock on the wall.
“Taly is dead,” Ivain said, soft and quiet and lethal. But that word didn’t hurt so much now. Not when Skye knew otherwise.
“Brother,” Sarina warned. She took a step forward, smoke curling around her body as her own temper began to burn. “You’ve made your point.”
But Ivain said again, “Taly is dead. She is gone, she left, and the sooner you accept it, the better off we all will be.”
“I told you to stop,” Sarina said, louder this time.
“You’re wrong.” Skye shook his head, and the laugh that slipped out of him was reckless, edging towards hysteria. “And if she dies” —he wrenched his arm away— “it really will be your fault, old man. And I hope you never forget that you’re the reason why she never came back.”
Skye only had a moment to process the utter devastation that flashed across Ivain’s face before Sarina screamed, “ I said that’s enough! ”
The fire inside the mantle flared, scorching the ceiling and sending the papers littering the desktop flying as a wave of heat swept through the room. Marching forward, she shoved the two shadow mages apart.
“This is no one’s fault.” Her eyes darted between the two men. Skye: panting and glowing with ire. Ivain: broken, all traces of anger gone, replaced with sorrow.
“Taly chose to go,” she went on. “She chose this, and all we can do now is try to live with the consequences of that choice. She wouldn’t want you two ripping each other apart!”
Ivain opened his mouth to speak, but a sharp knock interrupted him. He turned, placing both hands on the desk and seeming to cave in on himself as Sarina moved to answer the door.
The same maid from before stood timidly in the hallway beyond. She said, “The Lady Eula Valdaerys for the Marquess Castaro.” She bobbed a curtsey, keeping her eyes securely fixed on her feet. “She’s here to receive her orders.”
“Ivain?” Sarina asked, turning. “Are you—”
“I’m fine.” Ivain straightened, smoothing his hands down the front of his black waistcoat. “Skylen, I want that Mechanica armor down in the workshop fixed.” He ducked his head as he went to follow the maid. “That is your only task.”
“Go easy on him,” Sarina said once the door had snicked shut. “Ivain has lost too much, even for someone as old as he is. His wife, his daughter, our sister, Breena, even my husband, who, despite their differences, he considered a very dear friend. But Taly…”
Sarina stopped and took a long, shuddering breath, pressing a hand to her chest. “I think Taly’s loss is harder for him in a way.
She was the daughter he never got to raise, and unlike you and me, he doesn’t have the luxury of showing his grief.
Too many people are looking to him for strength.
They’re counting on him to keep them safe, to keep this village united, and that is a heavy burden. ”
Skye immediately felt shame. He knew the weight of that burden. He’d experienced it in Ebondrift, and then he’d pushed it onto Ivain the first chance he got.
Something tugged at him—that thread. He turned back to the door, staring as if Taly might walk through at any moment, laughing and vibrant, ready to tell them all how stupid they were being.
“I have to do this, Sarina. If there’s even the slightest chance that she’s still out there… Can’t you see that I have to do this?”
Sarina gave a bitter laugh. “You don’t have to do anything,” she said.
“You’re choosing to. The same way Taly chose to go.
The only difference is that she left because she wanted to save you.
” Sarina pressed a finger to his chest, smoke leaking from the corners of her eyes.
“Just you, Skye. That girl would’ve tried to move the stars if you only asked, and I know it’s hard for you to see right now, but that’s exactly what she did.
Against all odds, she brought you home, and if you leave now, you’ll be throwing that sacrifice away.
You’ll be spitting on her name and her memory, and I won’t stand for it. ”
Skye winced as the tears began to flow freely down Sarina’s cheeks, each drip hissing and fizzing and turning to vapor.
“Don’t throw your life away,” she said as she moved towards the door. “If not for yourself, then for me. I’m not sure my heart could take losing both of you.”
The door opened and shut, but Skye couldn’t find it in himself to say anything as she quietly left the room.