Page 21 of Ace (The Deuces Wild #4)

He hurried to catch up with her as she uprighted the wheelbarrow leaning against the wall and angled it alongside the stacks of red bags.

“Here. Let me do that,” he said as she tugged a hundred-pound bag off the stack and slid it into the wheelbarrow.

“After we feed your rescues, we’re going inside and calling for backup. Understood?”

Savannah dusted her hands together as she retrieved a pair of well-worn gloves from the shelf behind the door. “Darn, I forgot my gloves. You want a pair? I’ve got plenty.” She had a way of ignoring him .

He shook his head, not planning on getting any dirtier than he already was, at the same time wishing he could grab a quick shower and get her the hell out of there.

Time was not on their side. Those guys knew her schedule.

They’d be back. “Let’s just get this done.

I don’t want you exposed any longer than you have to be. How many bags do you need?”

“One will do for the dogs, one for the cats.” She nodded toward the smaller green bags. “Grab one of those, would you? I feed everyone once a day, but I left so quickly when Gran Mere called that I… I…” Her voice trailed off.

Keller busied himself opening the mammoth red bag, curling the lip so Savannah could scoop the kibble, while giving her time to collect her emotions. It was maybe one or two o’clock. She’d had one helluva day, but he grew more anxious by the second.

“I left my cell phone in my car this morning,” she whispered, her back still to him. “I forget that she’s gone now, you know. Everything happened so fast.”

“It’s easy to forget,” Keller lied. He hadn’t forgotten one detail of the nightmare he’d lived through the day he’d lost Carol Marie.

“I broke all speed limits to get to her on time. I parked my car. I ran as hard as I could, but in the end…”

In the end, you’re always too late, and they leave you behind anyway. You can’t make them stay, and you can’t go with them.

Keller steeled his heart and his fingers, not going to hug Savannah, comfort her, or lead this young woman where he had no intention of going. He refused to take advantage of her. Not now. Not ever. He didn’t seduce women, much less vulnerable victims who were under his protection.

The morning had already dredged up enough tender memories from the deepest pits of his soul.

The drive here had been the peaceful reprieve he’d needed.

For a moment there, it had been enough to just push back in the Camaro’s leather seat and feel the car’s power at his fingertips.

To know that, with the slightest pressure of his foot, he could accelerate to racing speed and leave his problems behind. He could be free.

Almost.

But he was wrong and that truck crashing into him had proved it.

Simply connecting with Savannah, just touching her, was what made him believe the horrors from his past were exorable.

Escapable. But they weren’t, and he knew better than to lie to himself.

Life didn’t work that way. It was hard, cruel, and unfair, and he was a fool to think this quiet interlude with Savannah could turn into anything more.

Those bastards in that truck, the gators, even this damned state proved life was no picnic. They were what was real.

Keller and Savannah were polar opposites.

He operated on structure and discipline.

A warrior’s code. She believed in magic rocks and voodoo, a practice he’d never accept again.

She wore her heart on her sleeve. He wasn’t sure he had a heart.

They were ships that passed in the night.

If it hadn’t been for Isaiah, they never would have collided.

Even their losses were light years apart, different.

He was a professional federal agent carrying a whole world of hurt and misery that she had no business getting involved in.

She’d just lost her great grandmother, a good woman who’d truly cared for and loved Savannah, to old age—not violence.

One natural death didn’t measure up to what Keller had seen and done and lost in his life.

Mariposa’s passing was the well-earned rest from a long life well-lived.

She hadn’t suffered like Carol Marie or any of the killers he’d put down.

Keller swallowed hard, assaulted all over again by the disaster that was his fucking life.

Everything shouldn’t have to be so hard, but it was, damn it.

He’d learned to deal with death before; he could do it again.

He’d almost convinced himself that he didn’t care what happened to Savannah Church, that she was just a job, when a slender hand circled his wrist, holding onto him in its gentle, feminine way.

“Are you okay?” she asked softly, her big brown eyes dewy with unshed tears.

Looking through him. Reading his mind like she seemed so easily to do.

Needing comfort. Echoing back the same. But not needing him, and Keller was certain that her idea of comfort wasn’t the same comfort his body yearned to give her.

“They’re gone, Savannah,” he told her brusquely. Harshly. “Your great grandmother and my wife are both gone.”

The sooner she dealt with that hard fact of life, the better off they’d both be.

Maybe then he wouldn’t feel the compulsion to gather her into his arms as if she was a lost little girl.

To kiss her and whisper that everything was going to be okay, when it would never be okay again.

This wasn’t a fairytale. To emphasize his intention, he pulled away from her grasp.

Letting him go, she tipped her head to the side. The beads around her neck mimicked the sway of her long straight hair brushing over one shoulder like an ebony waterfall he didn’t dare touch. But oh, how he wanted to.

“No, they’re not, Keller,” she murmured softly.

Sweetly. “The dead don’t leave us behind when they die, not if they truly loved us when they were alive.

That’s not how the universe works. I thought you of all people knew better.

They stay close, and they smile, and they laugh with us when we’re happy.

They cry with us when we’re sad, and they stay with us when we’re scared.

The energy of true love doesn’t evaporate into nothingness.

It can’t because it’s the only thing in the universe that’s real.

Better than any other force God created, He gave us love.

And love transcends time, space, and the physical distance between where you are today and where you were when you last saw your wife.

You are never alone, Keller. You never have been.

That’s the point. God never wanted you or me to be alone.

That’s why Gran Mere lingers, so does Carol Marie.

Where do you think she would rather be?”

“Stop saying her name,” Keller growled as Savannah’s words rocked him to his core. “You never knew her.” He wanted so much to believe what Savannah said, yet he was a man. A cold, cynical man who hadn’t deserved Carol Marie to begin with, and who didn’t deserve Savannah now .

What the hell was up with her? Why did she give herself away freely when the world would only eat her up and spit her out?

How could she? Why didn’t she hold anything back?

That was how he survived. As much as his gift of empathy demanded its due, he was in charge of who, when, and where he shared it.

That was his real gift. Control! That was his real power.

It had gotten him through combat, and it would get him through this… this… whatever this was.

“I rescue dogs, cats, and birds,” she said as if that answered his unspoken question. “Every bird in the forest sings, Keller. Not just the brightest or prettiest.”

What was that supposed to mean? “What the hell are you?” he snapped. “A psychic or a damned fortune teller?”

Her sad countenance melted into a sincere little smile. “I’m just one of a million different voices in the universe. Come. Help me feed everyone, so we can get back to town.”

And that was another thing! No matter how much he cussed, grouched, and snapped at her… as much as he pushed her away… Savannah Church kept coming back for more. She kept smiling and giving. But he was not a dog to be tamed, damn it!