Page 25 of Accidentally Wedded to a Werewolf (Claw Haven #1)
Both of these hopes warred in his chest, equally violent.
He’d spent every full moon since the fire alone in his room.
It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried. Those first few months he’d run with them in his human form, but it wasn’t the same.
Not with the wolf prowling inside of him, wanting out but not trusting him enough to hand the reins over.
He couldn’t take another night of his family trying to include him in their puppy piles and running insultingly slowly so he could chase them. He didn’t need their pity.
Luna knocked on the door. The bond writhed hopefully behind his rib cage.
Oliver smacked his chest, annoyed. “What?”
Luna flung open the door and waltzed in, perching next to him on the bed so closely that Oliver jerked away on instinct.
“I saw a full wolf heading toward the lobby,” she said. “I know it’s natural, but is that safe? All of them wolfed out, running around? It’s probably fine, I just heard—”
“The wolf can be hard to control if you’re not used to it. Or if you’re emotional. That’s why we run in packs; there’s someone there to keep you in order if you lose it.”
“Fab,” Luna said distractedly, tracing patterns in the carpet with her shoe as she pretended not to watch him.
Oliver gritted his teeth, waiting for the inevitable.
Luna hesitated. “Sooo…you don’t shift?”
“I can’t,” Oliver huffed bitterly. “Not anymore.”
“Oh,” Luna said quietly. “That’s… Oh.”
Oliver ignored her. He couldn’t hear the howling from his soundproofed room, but he could imagine it: racing through the trees, the kids tripping over their own paws.
Even Vida let go of that aloof teenager crap on full moons, tongue lolling out of her mouth as she chased her brother and cousin around.
Sabine and Ben would be nuzzling each other, Uncle Roy lingering around the edges of the pack until someone goaded him into chasing them, usually one of the aunts.
And Grandmother would plod proudly behind them, keeping watch.
Making sure the play didn’t get too rough, with no trees or skin broken tonight.
They’d end the night exhausted and happy, filled with gratitude that they’d been born into a family that got to have this.
And Oliver would be here, cold and alone. He was happy for them, really. But he couldn’t help the bitterness that welled up in him every full moon as he watched them bound outside on four paws. It was so much simpler being a wolf. He missed it with every part of himself.
Luna sniffed, breaking him out of his thought spiral. “When I was fourteen, my family went to Monaco, and I had to stay home with a broken leg.”
Oliver stared at her. He couldn’t tell if she was joking. Then, finally, her mouth twitched.
“I’m just saying,” she continued. “I totally understand.”
“Poor little rich girl,” he deadpanned. “Having to stay home from a family holiday. What, no maid to bring you caviar on a silver platter?”
“We did have a maid. But I dismissed her. I wanted to sulk in solitude.” Luna bit her lip.
At first, he thought she was going to proposition him like she often did when they were alone.
But her expression didn’t fit. She looked…
strangely vulnerable. Her chin lifted defiantly, the same way it had when she asked him to bring her into town to talk to Vi.
Like she was waiting for him to make fun of her.
“You should quit pulling away so much. You’re making them sad. And you’re making you sad. You should let yourself have something nice for once. Even if you don’t—” She stopped, lips pressed tight together.
He stared at her. Even if you don’t think you deserve it.
He was terrified that was what she was about to say.
He didn’t want her to see him. He didn’t want her to see the guilt curdling inside him.
Did she know the truth about the fire? They’d agreed not to go too deep.
He rarely got her thoughts, just glimpses of sensation when they were having sex.
The occasional slip when they were sitting too close during dinner.
Images of her family, tinged with a strange sadness as she watched the Musgroves immerse themselves so deeply in each other’s lives.
He tried to block it out as best he could, just like they promised. But some things leaked through.
Luna laughed, high and self-conscious. “Whoa! Where did that come from? I’ve been watching way too many Lifetime movies with you guys.”
She paused, biting her lip. “They weren’t serious about the town meeting thing, right? That was just…being polite.”
Oliver snorted. “Do you think Grandmother would ‘just be polite’? When she says something, she means it. But don’t do it just because you feel pressured.”
“I never have,” Luna said absentmindedly. She ran a hand through her hair, her gaze distant. She was considering it, Oliver realized. She didn’t look too happy about it, which confused him. Why would she do it if she didn’t want to?
Her mind brushed against his inside the bond. Oliver shied away, as usual. She stayed out of his mind, he stayed out of hers.
“You don’t have to,” Oliver repeated. “We don’t even go to the town meetings most of the time. Just ignore it.”
“Right,” said Luna. But she still looked troubled. Then she shook her head and slung a leg over him, settling into his lap. “Anyway! Since we have this side of the inn all to ourselves…”
Her nose brushed his. The bond sparked eagerly in his chest, his hands coming up to squeeze her thighs automatically. There was an emotion in her face he didn’t quite recognize, but then she kissed him, and everything melted away except for her soft skin, her clever hands and her glinting eyes.
Something was trying to leak through the bond. Oliver didn’t let it in. By the time sensations started to spill through over into him, Luna had locked whatever it was away, and the only glimpses he got of her mind were pure pleasure.