Chapter Twenty-Nine
Cat
Footsteps echo faintly through the house, swallowed by the darkness, and then trailed with the soft clicking of the front door.
This isn’t the first time David has gone out for a run, but it is the first time he’s left while it’s still dark out.
My cheeks lift as a soft giggle escapes, picturing Scarlett and Emmy hovering over him, waiting for any sign that he was awake before pouncing. A hitch of a breath, a lift of a brow, anything. How did he do that with the two of them in his face like that?
I cover my mouth to stifle the laugh bubbling up. I don’t want Scarlett to think it’s okay to get up yet—especially since I needed to negotiate with her to get her back in bed.
When I finally have my laughter under control, I heave out a sigh and yawn. How am I going to make it through the day? I’m exhausted, and yet for the life of me, I can’t sleep.
I roll onto my side, fluff my pillow with a little more force than necessary and close my eyes— attempting to get an hour or two of rest.
But just like last night, when I slipped into bed and closed my eyes, thoughts spin like a carousel. Leaving me reeling.
How safe I felt held in David’s arms, his heartbeat lulling me to sleep. How much I hated sleeping alone knowing he was down the hall, every molecule screaming to get up and go to his room, slide in bed next to him.
Scarlett saying ‘I love you’ and wanting to call me ‘Mom’.
The warmth that filled my chest, and the longing that popped up at hearing the word fall from her lips.
Would David be okay if I told Scarlett yes?
Is that the reason he didn’t talk to me about Fiona?
Fiona.
I would never try to replace her. I couldn’t. She’s the mother of his child and someone he loved.
But am I what he really wants, or will I always be left feeling like a consolation prize?
Flipping onto my back, I drag the pillow over my face and scream. Exhaustion makes it difficult to think clearly.
I need to know where David stands. I know he cares. It’s obvious in every kiss, glance and touch as he lingers, like he never wants to stop.
Wait.
Did David struggle last night too? What if he did?
He hates running.
Huffing out a sigh I place the pillow back behind my head and choose to believe that he spent the night as unhappy as me.
I shrug, and my mouth curves up, warmth fills me.
I close my eyes and sleep, for mere seconds before rapid fire huffs gently blow around my face.
I blink a few times and open my eyes to find Emmy sitting next to me, tongue lolling. Scarlett is resting her face on her hand at the side of my bed, with David standing behind her with a cup of coffee in his hand. Humor dances in his eyes, and a mischievous smirk lines his mouth.
My pulse skips at his damp hair and disheveled appearance. No one should be allowed to look as handsome as he does.
I let my gaze roam over their faces, and my chest expands. My heart feels like it might burst as my reality becomes crystal clear. I am in love with every one of them.
“Thought you might need this.” David grins as he stretches the cup out to me. Pushing myself into a sitting position I grab the coffee from him.
I take a sip and sigh. “Thank you.”
“Come on, Cat.” Scarlett stands up and motions for me to get out of bed. “Daddy made breakfast, and it’s getting cold.”
“He did, did he?” I feel David watching me, tingles fall wherever his gaze touches. I go to rest my cup on the nightstand, but David reaches his hand out and grabs it from me.
“Come on!” Scarlett yells, running from my room into the hallway. Emmy jumps over me effortlessly and follows close behind.
Getting out of bed I stand up only to have David slip his arm around my waist and pull me against him. “How did you sleep?” He asks, right before he leans down and gently presses his lips against mine. And his lips linger.
How can a kiss that’s so gentle have me weak in the knees?
“Honestly?” My heart pounds and my fingers run mindlessly over the collar of his t-shirt. His breath hitches, and my fingers still. When I glance up, he’s watching me intently. “Not good at all. Tossed and turned all night,” I say gruffly.
“Good,” he says happily, a wide smile crossing his face, and he murmurs. “Me too.”
He gives me one last quick peck before stepping away and handing me the coffee. I take it automatically.
My mouth is hanging open, and I’m pretty sure my eyes are the size of saucers. He places a finger under my chin and gently pushes my mouth closed. He smiles.
A smile that causes every single nerve ending to come alive, and overheat. I’m turning into a puddle at his feet. His voice is soft and husky when he says, “Let’s eat breakfast, drop Scarlett off at school and then talk. Okay?”
If his thumb wasn’t still on my chin I’m pretty sure my mouth would’ve fallen to the floor a second time, but instead I just nod.
He searches my face, runs his calloused thumb gently along my chin, gives me another smile before heading out of my room.
Leaving me speechless.
Confusion fills me when David pulls up in front of The Bleacher Bean, parks and kills the engine.
“What are we doing…” The words fade as he slides out of the truck and closes the door behind him, not bothering to glance in my direction. He then proceeds to walk around the grille and make his way to the passenger side door, like I didn’t utter a word.
Grinning and a gleam in his eyes, he reaches his hand out to me. Blinking a few times I stare at it.
When my gaze shifts to his, it’s to find him watching me, an earnestness in his expression. “Are you going to leave me standing here by myself or are you going to take my hand and walk with me?”
“David, I have to go to work,” I protest, continuing to stare at him.
“I sent a text to Hope and asked her to let Travis know you’d be late.” He’s still holding his hand out, and my eyes narrow. He pushes his hand toward me, his expression pleading and says huskily. “Trust me.”
Blowing out a breath I reach down and take his hand.
Gently wrapping my hand in his he helps me step out of the truck.
When my feet finally hit the ground, he reaches over me and closes the car door, never letting go of me.
Instead he picks up my other hand and beams at me.
His eyes crinkle at the corner and my heart flips.
“Do you remember the last time we were here?” He tilts his head toward the coffee shop.
My lips lift at the corner and I nod remembering the day my life changed.
He lets go of my one hand, interlaces his fingers with the other, and starts walking toward Maple Grove Park.
The serviceberry trees lining the path are now a bright shade of green with purple-ish berries.
“I thought this would be the perfect place to talk.”
My heart starts pounding, and I try to swallow past a huge cotton ball that’s taken residence in my throat. David gently tugs at my hand and I realize my feet haven’t moved.
His eyes soften as he meets my gaze, and he smiles at me so sweetly a warmth settles in my belly. I take a step toward him, and when I reach his side he continues forward.
David’s thumb is running nervously over my fingers, and when I glance at him, it’s to find him taking a deep breath. My stomach dips and I worry my bottom lip.
When we come across the first bench, he sits down and gives me a gentle tug to join him.
I sit on the solid surface next to him, grateful to have my legs supported.
Blowing out a deep breath, he begins talking.
“You asked me to tell you about Fiona at the same time I asked about you leaving. What did you want to know?”
My heart rams against my ribcage and I swallow hard. “I—” my voice falters as tightness grips my throat, and my mind goes blank. How did he know?
Fear grips me, but then my focus shifts to David’s gentle ministrations. He’s slowly moving his hands over mine in a way that has my pulse slowing. A car door closes in the background, and when I meet his gaze there’s an openness that immediately loosens the tightness in my chest.
I swallow again, and try to find the words to describe what I want to know. But I struggle, and turn my face away from him, unable to speak.
David cradles my face and gently turns me to look at him, but I don’t meet his eyes. He places his thumb under my chin and lifts. I flit my gaze to his. “Is it okay if I just talk?”
His gaze is steady as I search it, looking for answers to questions I’m not sure of and nod.
He pauses before he speaks, like he’s trying to figure out where to start. When he finally begins his voice is soft. “Fiona was an amazing person, an even more incredible mom, and I was completely in love with her.”
He’s watching me closely for any type of reaction, but I keep my expression neutral. What he’s telling me isn’t a surprise. I’ve never doubted he adored his first wife, hearing it from him isn’t surprising or hurtful, it’s just the truth.
David stares at me, and I lift a hand to his cheek, an encouraging smile crossing my lips. He leans into me and I feel myself falling a little bit more. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”
He huffs out a sigh and I notice his shoulders drop before he continues. “When we found out she was sick it was devastating. And when she died…”
Something clicks and I understand why he’s been so overly protective when it comes to my health. Why he’s always checking in if he notices something seems off. The reason he’s so insistent about coming to my upcoming doctor appointment.
Fiona.
“I never thought my life would have any semblance of normal, and I thought I’d always feel an emptiness.
Eventually things became a new normal. But that’s when the guilt started.
Guilt at watching our daughter grow up without her, playing baseball again and enjoying it.
Laughing with my family. Anything. Then at some point the guilt just stopped… ”
He pauses and takes another deep breath, as if he’s searching for the right words. I move my hand to the crevice between his neck and shoulder, gently rubbing. I’m not sure why I’m doing this, but I don’t know how else to help.
His eyes meet mine and hold a warmth that has my pulse skipping. And then he says gruffly, “Until you came into my life—”
“David,” I cut him off, my breath whooshing out. “I know how important Fiona was, is, and how big of a role she played in your life. She’s Scarlett’s mother, I would never expect you to not feel something for her. To not still love her.”
I feel tears sting the back of my eyes and my heart aches for the grief I know he went through.
The one that still nags at him. I’ve felt it too.
This isn’t the life he chose, it was the one that was handed to him.
Resting my hand on his chest over his heart I whisper.
“You didn’t choose to leave her. You lost her. ”
He pins me with his gaze, his eyes like glowing honey, and my breath catches at the intensity reflected there.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34 (Reading here)
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37