Page 33 of Accidentally Hitched (Unintentionally Yours #1)

Amanda

“ Y ou didn’t tell him.”

“I didn’t tell him.”

I’m talking to Iris on the phone at midnight.

Did I mention I love this woman? After what was absolutely the best sex of my entire fucking life (I know I said that before but this time it was for real.

Like for real for real), I laid in bed until I heard the soft rhythm of Callum’s sleep before sneaking downstairs for a snack and a vibe check.

A cannoli and some emotional deep diving later I realize that I am in over my head. Iris to the rescue.

“I think you should tell him,” she says, and I take another bite of the cannoli.

“I know I should tell him. But he was being so weird…”

“Weird how?” she asks.

“Weird like…he made me dinner.”

“Oh God, not a man that cooks. Whatever will you do?”

“It was a candle lit dinner,” I whisper yell, not wanting to wake him up. Even though he is upstairs in his room and I am below him in the kitchen, his penthouse is a weird modern open concept where nothing actually feels separate.

“Oh shit. Go on…” I can hear some cooking show on in the background at her place and I kind of wish I was there.

Iris is a great cook and a kickass baker to boot.

While most women watch reality tv and dating shows, Iris watches British cooking competitions and makes her own recipe while watching, almost like she is competing against them.

I like to hang out and be the judge at the end, though I am kind of lousy at it. I give everything she makes five stars.

“Chicken caprese,” I say, picking a chocolate chip up off my plate and popping it in my mouth. “And fresh bread with oil for dipping,”

“Herbes de Provence?” she asks.

“Probably,” I mutter. “And dessert. And wine! Which I couldn’t drink because I am knocked up.”

“So why didn’t you tell him over dinner?”

“I didn’t want to ruin it.”

“Maybe a baby wouldn't have ruined dinner. Maybe he’ll be happy when he finds out.”

“I doubt that,” I argue. “There’s a reason he is pushing fifty and has never been married with no kids. He must not want them.”

“Or he never met the right woman. Until he met you. He obviously has feelings for you, Amanda. I wouldn’t just assume he’s going to flip his lid when he finds out you’re having his child. It could be a beautiful thing if you let it.”

I slump in my chair. That’s the problem though.

Iris could be right. He could be elated.

After what just happened, it wouldn’t be completely unheard of for him to be excited about a baby.

I haven’t been in many solid relationships, but I’ve read enough romance novels and watched enough Meg Ryan movies to know what it looks like when a man is getting feelings for a woman. Not to mention he flat out said it.

I’m yours.

But I am also enough of a realist to know that our situation is detrimental.

His job rides on our relationship going well.

Not to mention, the whole age gap thing isn’t exactly savory in some people's eyes.

We are lucky things are going as smoothly as they are.

Adding a baby to that might just be the pothole that veers the vehicle off the road and into a ditch.

I head up to bed, but I don’t sleep. I can’t. All I can think about is the looming fact that my body is holding another life right now. And I don’t know how I feel about it.

When the sun comes up the next morning, my eyes are still open. Callum’s phone goes off and he checks it, then rolls over and looks at me.

“Good morning, beautiful. How did you sleep?”

I roll to face him and as soon as he sees my eyes, he frowns.

“Did you sleep?”

“Hardly,” I admit. “I’m feeling a little sick again.”

“I’m worried about you. I think you should see a doctor.”

I nod. “I think so too.”

“Do you want me to go with you?”

“No,” I say more quickly than I intend to. “I just mean, you’re a busy man. I am capable of going to a doctor myself.”

To my relief, Callum nods and sits up, looking chiseled and tan as ever. It’s almost unfair how perfect he is. “I did just get a text from Noah. They’re having issues in the recording booth. I’ll probably go check it out. But let me know how it goes at the doctor. I want to know everything.”

As you should…

My conscience is about to rip me in half as he plants a kiss on me and grins. “Last night was out of this world. I could do this forever you know, just me and you and nothing else.”

Fuck. That does it.

“Callum, I need to tell you something,” I start to say but his phone rings and he answers it.

“Noah. Yeah man I’m on my way. Just throwing some slacks on now. No, I don't think we need to replace the mics. If it’s not clear, that’s not on us. You know how he mumbles when he sings. Tell the man to fucking enunciate. Well, it is our place if we are the ones recording him.”

I sigh as Callum’s naked body makes its way to the closet. I’ll tell him. Eventually.

I go to the doctor alone. I thought about calling Iris, but I feel like I’ve been asking a lot lately.

I’ve never been good at asking other people for support.

I’m always the one giving the support. While I am there, I have them run routine checks.

I mention feeling fatigued and anxious. I mention that I might possibly be pregnant.

“Well, we can always check,” the nurse says with a smile. “Unless you want to wait until the father is with you.”

My stomach lurches inside of me and I think I might be sick. “No, we can do it now,” I tell her.

“Let’s move to an ultrasound room then and we will take a peek.”

“An ultrasound? I thought you were just going to do a blood test.”

“I mean we can see whether or not you are pregnant through the lab results yes but those take a minute. But if you had a positive test at home, we should just take a look while you’re here. That way we can see how far along you are, check for a heartbeat, all the routine things.”

Her smile is bright. Meanwhile, my panic is growing.

I didn’t consider that they might do a sonogram. Knowing on paper that I am pregnant is one thing. Seeing it on a screen is another beast entirely. Part of me wants to run. Pick up some vitamins at the store and tell him it’s all an iron deficiency and everything is fine.

But I can’t do that.

So, I follow the nurse into the other room.

When the doctor comes in, she has the same smile on her face. The room is buzzing with machines and screens and gadgets.

“Alright Amanda, I’m going to have you relax. I apologize, the gel is cold.”

She pulls out a wand and narrow my eyes. “What’s that for?”

“Vaginal ultrasound. Because you aren’t very far along, it’s the easiest way to get a good peek around at what’s going on in there.”

I nod but inside, I am a mess.

“Just a little pressure. Breathe through it. Good.”

I close my eyes. The pressure is fine. But when I hear the woosh wooshing on the screen, I open my eyes.

“What’s that?” I ask.

“That…is your uterus. And that bean shaped blob right there…is your baby.”

Your baby.

Your baby.

Your baby.

Before I have time to wrap my brain around those two life changing words, she pulls the wand out and grabs another tool. Then she gels up my belly and pressed the new wand there.

“And that…” she says with a smile as a rhythmic beat pulses through the room and straight into my chest, “Is your baby’s heartbeat.”

Ba-bum. Ba-bum. Ba-bum.

“Are you sure?” I ask, realizing then that my throat is tight.

“Mm hmm. I can hear your heartbeat in there too. You have two heartbeats. Which means you are going to be a mama…”

Ba-bum.

Your baby.

Ba-bum.

Heartbeat.

Ba-bum.

Mama. Mama. Mama.

“Here you go.”

The nurse’s words cut into my racing thoughts, and she hands me a tissue. I didn’t even realize I had tears streaming down my cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” I say.

“Don’t be,” the doctor shakes her head with a smile and shuts off the machine before turning the lights on. “It’s a very normal reaction. You’re having a baby. Life is about to turn upside down.”

With that, I break into tears. Full, sobbing tears.

“Oh honey,” she sits next to me. “I know it’s overwhelming. But you are healthy and strong and it’s going to be wonderful. If you want we can set up your appointments for checkups. We will talk about diet and hormones and exercise and birth plans.”

“Birth plans?” I ask. It’s a lot. Too much.

“Of course! Natural versus c-section. Water births. Home births. So many options. And of course, who you want in the room. Speaking of that, does the father know?”

I stop, swallowing the lump of bile in my throat. “No. Not yet. Soon.”

She smiles and rubs my shoulder. “The sooner the better. Especially if he is going to be involved. With all the technology we have, you will be able to see the gender soon.”

The gender? I haven’t even wrapped my head around the fact that I have two heart beats right now. Let alone a gender.

It’s a boy…

Something deep inside me whispers but I shake it away. What the fuck was that?

“I am going to prescribe a good prenatal vitamin as well as an iron supplement just to be safe. And I’d like to see you back in about three weeks.”

I nod and watch as the doctor leaves the room. It’s just me and the nurse now who cleans things up while I get dressed. For a moment I just sit on the bed, staring at my feet.

“It’s scary I know,” she says, and I look over at her.

“Yeah…”

“My first was…unexpected. My boyfriend and I weren’t even married yet. He didn’t even want kids.”

“What did you do?” I ask.

“I had a baby. Not much I could do.”

I bite my lip before asking the question. “Did he come around?”

“Yes. We have two more now. He built them a swing set in the back yard. Men change when they find out they’re going to be a dad. The good ones change for the better.”

“And the bad ones?” I ask.

“They don’t matter. Are you in love?”

It’s a lot for a nurse to be asking. Not protocol if I had to guess. But honestly, I don’t mind the personal bluntness of it all. It makes me feel like Iris is in the room. I regret now that she isn’t.

“I don’t know…” I say. “But he cares about me.”

She smiles sweetly. “Then I bet he’s one of the good ones.”

I leave the office and head to the pharmacy. The air is sunny and hot and thick, a nice change from the cold dark stale air in the office. My phone is already blowing up with multiple texts.

Iris: How did it go? Are you for sure pregnant?

Callum: Hey, just checking in. Hope you’re feeling better.

Kate: Hey, I need some help with cake flavors. I want six tiers, but six flavors seems like a lot. Or is it? The better, right? Haha!

Jesus. I ignore the third text and put the first on hold, texting Callum first.

Amanda: I feel alright, thank you. Just a little iron issue. Going to get some supplements.

I know I need to tell him. But I need to process first. So, I text Iris.

Amanda: Yes.

Iris:

Amanda: Want to see something cool?

I take a screen shot of the sonogram pic. While it’s just a blob, it’s real. A baby with measurements and gestation period and everything.

Iris: I am BAWLING. Oh Amanda. I know it’s a lot. But you got this.

I hope she’s right. Jesus, I hope she is right.