Page 109 of Accidental Blind Date
“Using you? For sex? I’ll kick his ass again.”
“No,” I cry. “Jesus, Kai, calm down. He was using me because Jenna is trying to take the girls from him.”
“And what does that have to do with you?” he asks.
“I guess if he is in a steady relationship, it looks better than a single, working man keeping full custody of two little girls,” I sniff.
“That’s bullshit. But also…it doesn't seem like something he would do. Not that I’m defending him or in support of the two of you. Because I’m not.”
“Well, I don’t know what to believe because as it turns out, he was lying to me from day one. Do you remember when I went on the First Pick date?”
“Vaguely,” he answers. “But go on.”
“I was supposed to meet a guy named Jax. It was a one-night sort of thing and–”
“Get to the point,” he grumbles like a teenager. “I don’t want to think about any of that.”
“Well, Jax never showed up. And Dax, who was there watching the whole thing pretended to be him.”
Kai is clearly trying to connect, and he sits down in a chair next to me. “Wait. That was at Tony’s. Fuck. I was the one who told him to get laid that night. I didn’t mean you though.”
“Yeah well that’s what happened. He lied about who he was because he needed to find someone to help him with his custody battle. And now I’m never speaking to him again.”
Kai turns towards me. “Hang on a minute. Dax is a lot of things. Stubborn, difficult, arrogant–”
“Are you sure you aren’t describing yourself?” I jab but he just flips me off and goes on.
“He might have fibbed because he was into you. But he wouldn’t use you. Not for something like this. He was upset, Libby. Dax only goes there on the anniversary of his wife’s death. He was looking for comfort, not a means to an end.”
I think about that but don’t say anything. I’m still not fully convinced. “He still lied,” I say. “He lied and then came in here intending to take the store from me. He still might, once he gets what he wants.”
“Oh, come on, Libs. You don’t really believe that do you?”
“Why shouldn’t I?” I shoot back.
“Because Dax never wanted your store to begin with. It’s not the best location for a Hemingway. Not only that, but he cares about local businesses. He always has.”
“Then why did he try to take mine? And why did he want to make it something it’s not?”
“Because Tess loved small businesses and they remind him of her. It hurts too much. It was my plan to transform this place into something else.”
“Why would you want to do that?” I demand and then it hits me. Honestly, it’s the third ton of bricks to hit me in the last two days.
Because it hurts too much.
Kai doesn’t say it, but I know that’s the answer.
“You don’t hate the bookstore,” I quietly say.
“No, I don’t hate the bookstore,” he admits kicking at pieces of glass on the floor with his shoe. “I just…see them everywhere, you know?”
“Why would you want it to go away?” I ask. “It’s all we have left.”
“Because they went away. And dad’s lopsided bookshelves and mom’s daisies painted on the wall aren’t going to bring them back. It’s a constant fucking reminder that they’re never coming back. We have to move on.”
I look at my brother and for the first time in years, I see him. It makes sense, the reason he acts the way he does. The reason he does the things he does. The problem wasn’t that he didn’t care at all. He cares too much.
“I don’t think we have to move on,” I tell him. “Moving on means forgetting. And we should never forget. But we do need to live. And they’d want us to do what makes us happy.”
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