Page 11 of Absolution (Favorite Malady Trilogy #3)

ABIGAIL

T error grips my mind in a vise, and all of my muscles tense with the survival instinct to flee from an encroaching threat.

A shadow in the shape of a man looms at the bedroom door, a dangerous silhouette against the moonlight at his back.

A copper tang coats my tongue, and I open my mouth to scream.

No sound comes out. I try to scramble away, but my bones are made of lead. I can’t so much as twitch my limbs in an effort to fight him off.

I can’t move. I can’t speak.

Fear climbs up my throat in a choking vine, cutting off my ability to breathe.

The shadow draws closer, flickering toward me like a malevolent apparition.

Sweat beads on every inch of my skin, but I’m frozen. My skin burns, but my flesh is icy, and the dichotomy makes nausea churn in my gut.

The shadow flickers again, and the man is a foot closer now.

He’s going to touch me, and there’s nothing I can do to stop him.

Another shadow stirs at the foot of the bed.

Only my eyes move in my paralyzed body, and I watch in pure horror as the shadow coalesces into a small child.

She can’t be more than five years old, but her haunted expression is terrifying enough to make her even more horrifying than the encroaching man.

Tears stream from her aqua eyes, and she begins to crawl up the length of my legs, reaching out a beseeching hand for my help.

The man is coming for both of us, but I’m even more petrified of the little girl. If she touches my face with that tiny, trembling hand…

My eyes snap open, but the nightmare doesn’t disappear. The shadowy man still looms over the bed, and the sobbing child fills my vision as she crawls onto my chest, seeking comfort.

My vocal cords finally loosen, and a strangled, sharp cry tears from my throat.

“Abigail!”

The man and the child dissipate as though they’re made of smoke.

Strong hands grasp my shoulders, and I twist away from the restraining hold with a defiant, horrified shriek.

The night-darkened world swirls around me, and I fall. I hit the carpeted floor, and my head spins. I’m not sure what’s real anymore. I search the shadows frantically for the little girl, torn between an aching yearning to save her and stomach-turning dread that I’ll have to face her again.

Light sears my eyes, and I blink hard. I’m scared to close my eyes again. The man might get me if I let my focus waver for even a second.

My heart races like I’ve been sprinting for miles, and my hair sticks to my sweat-slicked brow and nape. I gasp for breath, and my lungs burn in protest when I force them to expand.

A man looms over me, solid and all too real.

I cover my head with my hands and curl into a tight, protective ball.

“It’s me. Abigail, you’re safe. I won’t hurt you.”

It takes several seconds for me to register the familiar, accented voice.

“Dane?” His name is a ragged whisper.

“I’m right here.” His promise is a touch shaky. “Look at me.”

Cautiously, I unlock my arms so that I can peek up at him. His green eyes are tight with worry, and his lush lips are set in a tight slash.

“Dane!” I fling myself at him, and his strong arms close around me.

He draws me close and holds me to his chest, cradling my shaking body. My fingernails bite into the back of his neck, but he doesn’t flinch in my desperate grip.

“I’ve got you,” he says. “It was just a nightmare. You’re safe.”

I don’t feel safe. My skin prickles with residual awareness of danger, and I barely resist the urge to claw away the maddening sensation. Instead, I cling to Dane more tightly and resolutely inhale his salt-kissed, spicy cedarwood scent.

“That’s it,” he encourages. “Breathe. Just keep breathing. Stay here with me.”

I can’t deny him anything. He’s my anchor to sanity, to reality.

I sink into him, memorizing the feel of his corded muscles bulging and flexing around me, as though he’s preparing to fight off my monsters. The fine hairs that dust his sculpted chest tickle my cheek, and I turn my face into him to meld our bodies even more closely.

He strokes my chilled body with the elegant, dexterous hands that I love so much, and slowly, he imbues me with his warmth. As I thaw beneath his tender touch, the lingering terror begins to dissipate, leaving me wrung out and limp in his arms.

He lifts me up and carefully sets me on the soft mattress, immediately climbing into bed with me so that he can shape his body around mine.

My brain finally accepts that I’m with my white knight, and I’m safe.

Nothing can hurt me as long as I’m under his protection.

I cast a fearful glance toward the open bedroom door, and I release a shuddering sigh when I find it empty.

The shadowy man is gone.

And so is the distressed little girl.

“Talk to me,” Dane urges. “Tell me about it.”

I shudder and snuggle deeper into his embrace.

He strokes my hair in a soothing rhythm. “You’ll feel better once you say it out loud,” he urges. “It won’t have power over you anymore.”

“There was…” My stomach lurches at the thought of the shadowy man, and I swallow against the sudden urge to vomit.

I shake my head. “I can’t talk about it,” I say, my voice small. “I just need you to hold me. Please?”

“Always,” he reassures me. “I’ll be right here whenever you’re ready.”

I shake my head again and shove the terrible memory of the nightmare from my mind. I don’t want to think about it ever again, much less talk about it.

“All right,” he soothes. “It’s all right.”

“Thank you,” I whisper, pressing closer to him.

“Never thank me for taking care of you,” he says, but there’s no bite to the admonishment. “It’s my job to protect you. I won’t allow anyone to harm you ever again.”

I think about Stephen Lansing.

Don’t watch, Abigail. Close your eyes for me. I’ll take care of this. I’ll take care of you.

Dane’s form of caretaking can be lethal, but I barely experience a twinge of disquiet over his murderous capabilities.

“I meant what I said at the rooftop bar,” I remind him softly. “I don’t want you to kill for me again.”

He tenses slightly, but his fingers remain gentle in my hair. “I will do what’s necessary to keep you safe.”

“I know.” I have complete faith in him.

“If you think that you’re somehow responsible for my actions, you’re mistaken,” he declares. “Stephen is dead because he was a fucking rapist. You bear no responsibility.”

I turn into Dane so that I can meet his fierce green gaze. “At first, I felt like he was dead because of me, but I can see now that I was wrong. I’ve already accepted that he faced the consequences of his own actions, and that’s not my fault.”

I try to brush away the furrow in Dane’s brow.

“If you’re asking me not to kill out of some sense of morality, that argument won’t sway me.

You should know by now that I don’t possess a moral compass, and I feel nothing but satisfaction when I think about the fact that Stephen paid for what he did to you.

My only regret is that he should’ve suffered so much more. ”

He breathes a soft curse, and his body relaxes around mine. “I’m scaring you. I’m sorry, little dove. I don’t want that.”

“I’m not scared,” I reassure him. “The only thing that scares me is the prospect of being separated from you. I can’t bear it if you go to jail. No more killing, Dane.”

He shakes his head. “I won’t make that promise. I can’t. Not if you’re in danger.”

I blow out a sigh, exhaustion sapping my bones. In the wake of my nightmare, I don’t have the energy to continue with this argument.

He presses a kiss to my forehead. “No one will separate us,” he vows. “No one will take you from me.”

I lean into him and allow my heavy eyelids to droop. His scent enfolds me, more comforting than the softest blanket. The hands that are holding me so tenderly are capable of brutal violence, but they will never touch me with anything but reverence.

With that reassuring thought, my body finally relaxes, and I drift into a deep, dreamless sleep.