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Chapter Thirty-Five

Korik

By the time they were eating dinner, Varen had long since been trapped at the kitchen table, Roz purring away in his lap with K’lir curled up at his feet.

“ He smells nice, ” Roz thought, which made Korik stifle a laugh. They had taken to each other quickly, despite Roz’s initial distrust of him. Korik wasn’t surprised. Familiars had their own personalities, but they were still extensions of their creators, so their behaviors were roughly the same. When Korik had been hesitant toward Varen, so had Roz; but now that he had allowed himself to hope things would improve, she had warmed up to him, too. And he supposed the elf did smell nice, especially now that they could bathe and change their clothes regularly again.

Sharing a normal meal like this felt almost strange, considering how all the meals that they’d shared before had been around a campfire, often eating out of the same cooking pot. After so long of rations and game meat, Korik had been mostly preparing vegetables and rice, so today was more of the same. He had prepared food for both of them many times before, but this time he felt nervous when setting a bowl in front of the elf. If Varen didn’t like it, he wouldn't have the excuse of only being able to prepare what they had.

But Varen ate everything Korik served him and thanked him profusely, evidently as fatigued on meat and bread as Korik still was. He even helped Korik clean up without complaint.

Afterward, Varen lingered with him in the kitchen, but seemed uncertain whether he should actually stay or go.

Korik didn’t want him to leave. Somehow, it felt like everything that had happened was so ephemeral—like if Varen left now, he might realize that the elf’s apology had only been a dream. More than that, he wanted to have the elf in his room, in his bed.

He couldn’t stop the heat rising in his face as Varen looked at him, but he pushed the words through, anyway.

“Will you come lay down with me?”

A soft smile crossed Varen’s features, recognizing the veiled question for what it was.

“Is that alright?” he asked. Korik nodded, ignoring his deepening blush. “Then, yes, I’d love to.”

Korik nodded again, and his thoughts directed Roz to keep K’lir off the bed for tonight. There wouldn’t be room for all of them.

“Come with me,” he said, nerves tinging his voice. “I’ll show you where everything is.”

Varen followed as Korik led him down the hallway to his bedroom. His living space was small: just the kitchen and his bedroom, with the bathroom in between and the shop down below; and a second room that had been his when he was a child, but was now used for extra storage.

“Here,” he said, opening the door to his bedroom. The room was plain but comfortable. The bed was covered in several blankets now that winter had arrived, and it took up most of the room; beneath it was a colorful rug that had originally been his father’s, and against the walls, he had his wardrobe and a bookshelf. It was nothing remarkable, but it was home. The room was dim; normally, the sun through the window gave plenty of natural light, but it was fading quickly. With a swish of his hand, Korik lit a few of the candles spread throughout the room to illuminate them with warm, gently flickering light.

“Korik,” Varen said softly, pulling him to a stop in the doorframe. Korik paused, turning to face the elf. Only a few inches of space separated them, yet somehow Varen stepped a bit closer, placing one hand on Korik’s chest. “Do you... Can I...?”

He seemed uncertain, but Korik understood what he was asking. He reached up and placed his own hand atop Varen’s where it rested on his chest, then nodded. He couldn’t bring himself to say it, either, but their bodies knew what they wanted.

Varen’s expression of uncertainty melted into a smile. He clasped Korik’s hand and brought it to his lips, gently kissing first his palm, then the back of his hand. Korik’s heart raced—they had never been romantic like this before. Varen continued to press kisses on his skin. If he had been this sweet the whole time, Korik thought distantly as they tumbled into his bed, maybe things might have been different.

But, now, they were here. He focused on the sensation of the elf on top of him, leaning down to press his lips to the side of Korik’s neck.

“I want to kiss you,” Varen said softly, muffled against his skin. His tone was still hesitant, even though they were now in bed together. “Can I?”

He pulled back to look Korik in the face. In the past, Varen had always been careful not to kiss him—even when Korik had wanted it, had leaned forward for it.

Somehow, this felt like an even bigger hurdle than everything else they had spoken about. But the want, the yearning that flooded his heart, was just as strong as ever. Korik nodded, and Varen’s eyes warmed with relief.

He leaned down and pressed his lips to Korik’s. It was chaste and sweet and cautious—his tusks lightly pushed against Varen’s skin, and he remained motionless at first for fear of hurting the elf. But then Varen pressed a little harder, as if testing the pressure—and then deepened the kiss, making Korik let out a soft, surprised noise. Their tongues met, tenderly at first, then with more need. Korik felt Varen’s hands on him, guiding him out of his tunic, the air just cold enough on his bare skin to make him shudder.

This Varen was so different from the one he had slept with before. This Varen was gentle and cautious, not at all the domineering presence from before. Back then, Korik thought, he had been ruthless in chasing his release. He had purposely been trying not to be romantic or sweet or tender with him. Not like now.

Korik’s eyes stung with emotion, even through the pleasure of Varen’s hands on him. This was what they had both wanted, if not from the beginning, at least for some time. If either one of them had been able to say that, maybe they could have avoided all this conflict and pain.

But what good would dwelling on the past do for him? Maybe it was na?ve of him, but he wanted Varen to have a second chance, to prove himself better than he had been before. If it had been anyone else, he thought, Korik would have left them behind without question. But it was Varen: the elf who had garnered such an emotional reaction in him right from the beginning, and who had transformed that dislike into endearment, almost without Korik even realizing it. The one on top of him now was not the same Varen he had tried so hard to ignore in their first days together—but neither, he supposed, was he the same.

He had never given much thought to romance, especially not with an elf. He never would have thought that he would decide to leave Drol Kuggradh of his own accord, either. Yet here they were, utterly changed by the weeks they had spent together. Everything had changed in that time.

Maybe things had to happen that way in order for them to be here now. Otherwise, they might have remained the same as they were, stuck in their old ways and unable to move beyond an initial physical attraction to something deeper.

“Korik,” Varen said, pulling him from his thoughts. One hand cupped Korik’s face, a stark contrast to how the elf had grabbed his tusks to manhandle him so long ago. “Are you alright?”

Korik managed a wavering smile. “Yes,” he said. “Sorry. I was just thinking.”

Varen’s smile took on a chagrined edge. “Not regretting things already, I hope?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “Not at all.”

The elf managed to get all his clothes off while Korik’s mind was elsewhere, so he quickly did the same to match him. He let out a contented sigh, as Varen leaned back and pressed their hips together, gathering both their cocks in one hand and moving in slow, languid strokes.

“I don’t know what I want,” Varen murmured with a faint laugh. “I want to be inside you. But I want to ride you, too.”

Korik felt his cock twitch in Varen’s grip. Both had their appeal. But something in him wanted that domineering part of Varen, an echo of how things had been before, but with a better understanding of each other now.

“Inside me,” Korik replied, his voice coming out husky with desire. “Please.”

Varen groaned, rocking his hips against Korik’s. “Yes, okay. I’m convinced.”

Korik laughed, and it felt as if that somehow unlocked something in both of them. Then Varen started to laugh, leaning down to kiss Korik again, ardently, desperately. Korik’s fingers tangled in the elf’s long hair as their lips met. How had they gone so long without this?

“I was so afraid I’d lose you,” Varen murmured against Korik’s skin, when they finally parted. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

For a moment, Korik only looked at him, considering how to respond.

“You might have,” he finally said softly, careful to keep no malice in his tone. “Not so long ago, I would have much preferred to be alone than to try again. But we’ve both changed since then, I think.”

Varen leaned back to look at him more clearly, a pensive look on his face, though his smile still lingered.

“I always thought I’d been stuck in my ways. That I was too old to change,” he finally said. “I’m glad you proved me wrong.”

Korik’s gaze softened. “I am, too.”

Varen’s fingers found him then, spreading him apart before pressing one inside. The elf moved slowly and attentively, prepping him with care. He had never been forceful, but now he seemed intent on the act itself being one of pleasure. Korik leaned back and closed his eyes, letting out soft, appreciative noises as Varen eased him open.

“Ready for me?” Varen murmured, and Korik nodded.

Varen positioned himself carefully between Korik’s legs and pressed into him. There was pressure, and a tinge of pain that quickly melted away, as Varen let out a long, low breath.

“I missed this,” he groaned, leaning down to press a kiss to the center of Korik’s chest. “I missed you.”

Korik only ran his hands down Varen’s back to settle encouragingly on his hips.

Varen pushed deeper, then pulled back slowly. Korik pressed a hand to his mouth to stifle a soft moan, but Varen grabbed his wrist before he could.

“No more holding back,” he said. “I want to hear you.”

Heat flooded Korik’s face, but he couldn’t bring himself to protest, as Varen’s cock slammed into him to the hilt, making him gasp. He could have easily pulled his wrist out of Varen’s grasp, but he let the elf hold his hand down. The noises escaping his mouth as Varen fucked him might have embarrassed him before, but now he focused on the pleasure of Varen moving in him, his own cock heavy and aching to be touched between his legs.

As if reading his mind, Varen released his wrist—Korik grabbed onto his sheets to keep from reaching for his mouth again—and moved the hand to his cock, stroking and squeezing in time with his hips. Korik tipped his head back, moaning at the flood of sensation.

Varen surged forward, capturing Korik’s lips and pressing his tongue into his mouth. The different angle was hitting him in just the right place, deep inside him. Stars burst behind Korik’s eyes as they fluttered closed—he was utterly consumed, Varen inhabiting every part of him, setting every nerve on his body aglow with heat. How could he have thought that he could go the rest of his life without this, without him?

“ Varen,” he moaned against the elf’s lips. He wasn’t going to last long. “ Varen .”

“Don’t hold back,” Varen panted, his pace quickening. “Gods, you feel incredible. I want to see every part of you.”

Korik shuddered as his release tore through him. He gasped and whimpered as Varen stroked him through it, sending thick streams of come spilling across his chest. Varen’s hips slapped against his backside at a frantic pace. The elf let out faint, needy sounds against Korik’s ear—a few more sharp thrusts, and he could feel Varen filling his insides with his spend, warmth spreading through him.

Korik’s head tipped back again as Varen melted against him, panting as he lay his head on Korik’s shoulder.

This felt right. Despite all the thoughts swirling in his head about what they would do, what he knew for sure was this felt like the right place to be. Like he needed to be at Varen’s side, no matter where that brought him. They could figure out the details as they came. But he wanted to be with Varen—here, or in Aefraya, or wandering the wildlands.

Varen stirred, pulling him from his thoughts. The elf propped himself back up and smiled fondly down at Korik.

“I have to say,” he murmured, grinning at Korik, “I like this a lot better in a proper bed, don’t you?”

Korik chuckled, glancing away. “There is some benefit, yes.”

Some small part of Korik anticipated waking up alone the next morning, but Varen did not slip away in the night or hurry out at first light. When Korik woke, he was laying precariously along the edge of his bed; Varen slept beside him, his body pressed close to Korik’s, but his limbs stretched out across the mattress. He had to stifle a laugh, but when he cautiously got out of bed, Varen stirred awake anyway.

“Good morning,” the elf said, yawning and stretching. Korik’s gaze softened into a smile. His heart stuttered with emotion.

“Good morning,” he replied softly.

The cats were laying right in front of the door when they emerged. K’lir was all over Varen again, while Roz rubbed herself along Korik’s legs as he tried to walk to the kitchen—equal parts pleased at the turn of events and annoyed Korik had banished them to the other room.

They had a quiet breakfast, then Korik watched in amusement as Varen played with K’lir, dragging a ribbon across the floor as the cat chased and pounced after it. Roz’s eyes tracked the ribbon just as intently, but she only pounced when K’lir lost interest.

“You know, if you hadn’t said she was your familiar, I would have thought she was just a cat,” Varen laughed as he dangled the ribbon above Roz, who stood on her hind legs to reach for it, claws extended. Her ears pressed against her skull at his words; she sat back down, looking at him reproachfully, which only made him laugh harder. “Okay, maybe not. Sorry.”

They played for a little longer while Korik cleaned up and set out a pot of tea. Afterwards, they sat together and drank in silence for a moment. Eventually, Varen turned to him with a hesitant look.

“Have you had any other thoughts regarding our discussion yesterday?” he asked softly, looking nervous. Korik hesitated, looking down at his tea as his mind raced again.

He had many thoughts about it all, but how much should he share now? He wanted to be with Varen, but now that the heat of the moment had passed, the logistics of it all were giving him pause.

“I...” he started, only to trail off.

“Tell me,” Varen urged, placing one hand over Korik’s where it rested on the table. “I want to know what you’re thinking.”

Korik chewed his bottom lip for a moment before finally speaking.

“I do have some... concerns,” he finally said. His heart was pounding in his chest, but he knew he needed to be honest and vulnerable, no matter how uncomfortable it made him. “Varen... What I feel for you is more than just attraction. I don’t want this to be something... Casual. If we do this, if we travel together again, what would that make us?”

For a moment, Varen studied him, his expression carefully neutral. Korik had gotten much better at reading the elf’s face; but at that moment his mind felt frighteningly blank, unable to process the slight glimmers of emotion that crossed Varen’s face as they considered each other.

“I’ve come to care for you very much,” Varen quietly admitted, his eyes soft. “I will not take this lightly.”

Korik’s heart was pounding harder than ever now, so loud in his ears that he could barely hear himself speak.

“No, just care isn’t enough,” he urged, pushing through all the fear and worry telling him to be silent. “I—I love you, Varen. But I won’t let you break my heart. If you can’t love me in return, we should end this before it ever begins.”

Varen’s whole body had tensed, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. Even when Korik clamped his mouth shut, heat rising in his face, he forced himself to keep holding Varen’s gaze—despite the sinking feeling in his chest, growing deeper the longer Varen stared at him in shocked silence.

“You,” Varen finally stammered, a pink flush now tinging his face, too. “You love me? Truly?”

Korik gulped and nodded. “Yes.”

“After all this? You can admit it so easily?”

Korik felt his brow furrow, and finally, he glanced away. “I... yes,” he murmured, already regretting his vulnerability. Had it been too much too soon? Had his feelings on the matter been more intense than Varen was prepared for? Maybe he should have given things more time, should have waited to see—

“Because I love you , Korik,” Varen said breathlessly, grabbing Korik’s hands again. When Korik looked back at him, his eyes were wide and bright and shining. “And I was too afraid to say it because I thought—I thought perhaps I had done too much to make you hate me.”

For a long moment, he couldn’t respond. The weight of the words between them felt heavy at first, but dissipated the longer they remained there, clutching each other’s hands. Korik’s eyes stung with tears that he blinked away rapidly, clearing his throat, before forcing himself to speak again.

“I don’t—I don’t hate you,” he said softly, looking down at their hands. “I wanted to, for a time. But I never hated you.”

Instead of responding, Varen released his hands, then leaned forward to cup Korik’s face and pull him into a kiss.

“I love you,” he gasped breathlessly against Korik’s lips, holding his head between both hands. “I don’t know how it happened. But I love you.”

Korik held him as they kissed, the elf strong and warm in his arms. It felt silly to have ever doubted that Varen felt the same, now. Varen clung to him desperately, passionately, as if he were just as afraid as Korik that this was a dream. That, more than anything else, convinced Korik that Varen had meant it when he had apologized.

When they finally parted, Varen’s eyes were still bright and glassy, and his cheeks were a warm pink as he settled back in his seat, looking up at Korik with a wide smile.

“If I go with you to see your sister in Aefraya,” Korik asked softly, “Will you come with me to the mountain clan?”

“Yes,” Varen replied immediately, without hesitation.

“It will not be like Drol Kuggradh,” Korik said, despite the happiness now tentatively bubbling in his chest. “We will travel nearly every day. Are you sure?”

“It was fun to travel with you,” Varen replied, still grinning.

“But...” Korik said, struggling to put into words the one worry he still had. “If we travel with them, we might not have access to the same herbs and medicines I have access to here. Things that will... That is, for your—your heats.”

He felt embarrassed to even say it, but Varen looked completely unfazed. “So if you were to go into heat while we were traveling, and we know orcs and elves can breed—I don’t know how you feel about that. About children, much less children with—with me. If that changes your mind...”

To his surprise, Varen laughed. He laughed , his eyes warm and full of fondness.

“You delivered the princess, didn’t you?” he replied, his voice full of adoration. “If the kings can trust you with their child, I can most certainly trust you with ours.”

Ours . For a moment, Korik couldn’t think of anything but that. A child between him and Varen—he had never thought he might have children, but now he had spoken it into existence, and it consumed his thoughts. A half-elf, half-orc child with his eyes and Varen’s bright, mischievous smile. How could he have ever wanted anything else?

“You’re sure?” he asked softly, even though Varen’s response had convinced him so effortlessly.

“I’m sure,” Varen said. “And, well, that’s far in the future. That feels like a conversation for another day. But, yes, Korik—that isn’t going to deter me. I want to be with you, no matter where that is.”

Korik smiled—hesitantly at first, then with more relief and certainty as Varen returned the grin. Had he ever smiled so freely? It felt as if a great weight had been lifted off him; like a window had been opened, and he was finally blinking in the light and breathing in fresh air.

“Then I will go with you to Aefraya,” he said softly, holding Varen’s hands again in his own. “We’ll meet your sister and her child. And then afterward, we can go back to the mountains and find the clan that invited me. And if they don’t welcome you, too, then we will just wander on our own. We could even explore Aefraya. Anywhere.”

“Anywhere sounds good,” Varen replied with a chuckle. “As long as we’re together.”

“Together,” Korik repeated, nodding. That was the most important part. “Together.”