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2 AELIA

After breakfast, I went to find my sister. Baylis had been working with the Alder Palace healers to remember her time with Gideon. So far, they’d been unsuccessful in retrieving any of her memories.

Pushing the door to her room open, I found her and Amolie reading in front of a roaring fire. A plate of baked goods and steaming coffee sat on the table in front of them.

“Aelia!” Shutting her book, my sister crossed the room, embracing me in a hug. I squeezed her tight, treasuring the moment. We’d both been through so much in the past five years. Where do you even begin to heal with that kind of distance between two people?

“How are you feeling?” I examined her thoroughly; sure I’d find some mark from Gideon I’d missed. My eyes raked over her slender frame, and I gently turned her palms up, anticipating the discovery of some missed brand or healing bruise. What was her dress hiding? Surely there must be something. There can’t be nothing , because if Gideon was good to her… actually good to her when he couldn’t muster a morsel of affection for me—then all my self-doubt would be true. I am the unlovable one. I am the problem, and all those degrading things he said about me were true.

“I’m fine.” She waved me off with a little chuckle, but I didn’t trust it. How could she be fine when I knew what Gideon did to women? When I experienced first-hand the cruelty lingering under his handsome facade? I bit the inside of my lip to keep from saying something. I wanted Baylis to trust me enough to confide in me. We were starting from scratch.

“Never better, actually.” She brushed her hands on her skirt nervously. “Just enjoying a morning with Amolie.”

I wanted to dip into her mind to see if she was hiding anything in there, but that could set off alarms I wasn’t ready to face. I needed her to trust me enough to let me in.

“Yes, won’t you join us?” Amolie said, motioning for me to sit next to her on the little leather sofa.

“We have a meeting with the king. I just came to check on Baylis before heading up.”

“Can I come?” Baylis asked, her delicate face bright with hope.

I didn’t want to tell her that she was still being watched closely. As much as I loved my sister, there was no telling what kind of tracking spell Erissa and Gideon put on her. I couldn’t risk the safety of an entire kingdom for her comfort. So, I dined with her in the evenings and made sure she had company at all times. I waited so long to find my sister, and now that I had her back, it was bittersweet. I wanted to ask her a million questions about Gideon, but I was afraid of the answers. Why had he been good to her but not me? A sour taste filled my mouth.

I swallowed my resentment.

“Sorry, not today. Official business. We can go riding later.”

“Fine,” she huffed, returning to her book.

Once a safe distance away, Amolie said, “You’re going to have to go into her mind and see if you can find any helpful memories.”

I bit the inside of my cheek again.

“I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to ever dig into someone’s mind ever again unless I have to. And I definitely don’t want to have to go into my own sister’s. The guilt I carry for all those years of mercenary work weighs heavily on me.”

“I know, Aelia, but I’m not getting anywhere with her. The healers say she screams in her sleep.” Amolie scanned the corridor for prying eyes. “Either she’s hiding something, or it’s buried so deep inside her mind we may never find it.”

“I know. I want to believe her. I want to believe my sister is just a victim of circumstance, but I know Gideon and Erissa. Either they kept her in the dark of their plans…” My words caught in my throat.

“Or she was their plan?” Amolie said.

I sighed. “Right. I don’t want to dig around in her mind yet. I’m not prepared for what I might find.” Even just thinking about it made my skin prickle with disgust.

“We may not have a choice, Aelia.”

“I know.” I pushed the door open to Tharan’s study, where Caiden, Lucius, Hopper, and Sumac waited.

Tharan took a drag off a cigarette, extinguishing it in an ashtray.

Frost and Winter ran to greet us, whining with excitement, claws scraping against the hardwood floor.

I bent down, rubbing each behind the ears. “Good girls.”

“It’s about time. We don’t have all day,” Lucius said, annoyed.

I stole a cigarette from the ornate box on Tharan’s desk and lit it, letting the smoke fill my lungs. “We’re here now. Let’s get to it.”

Lucius rolled his eyes. Some things never changed.

The room smelled of tobacco and clove. A fire roared in the massive hearth. Above it, the head of an elk guarded the study.

I propped myself on his massive desk while the others took seats around the room. I tried my best not to look at Caiden. I couldn’t bear to see the man I’d loved for a decade.

Tharan lit another cigarette.

“The people in this room are the only ones on the continent who know what really happened in Ryft’s Edge.” He exhaled a plume of smoke into the air. “Gideon and Erissa are likely licking their wounds, biding their time until they come back to hit us harder. I have my best spy out looking for them, but they haven’t turned up any leads yet. I think our best bet is to find the Trinity Wells before they do.”

“And what exactly are we supposed to do when we find them?” Caiden asked, fiddling with the ring on his finger.

Tharan took another drag.

“Extract the magic and spread it throughout the land evenly. That way, no one can control it all.”

“That’s actually… a decent proposal,” Lucius said, leaning against a bookshelf and looking out the window.

“I thought so.” Tharan gave a little chuckle, pleased with himself. “So, here’s what I’m proposing. I will go and see my grandfather in Elohim. Aelia and Baylis will go and speak with their mother in the Tower of Fate, and Caiden, if you wouldn’t mind searching the library of Vantris.”

Caiden nodded. His golden hair catching the light of the fire reminded me of the nights we spent together in the secluded atrium of the River House. I pushed away the memory, throat going dry, heart aching.

“We need to talk to the Morrigan. She knew Erissa back when the world was young,” Tharan said.

Reluctantly, I pulled the scepter from its mahogany box on his desk. Running my fingers over the carved ruins, power radiated through my veins, up from my belly, and into my throat.

“Morrigan, show yourself.”

White smoke poured from the bird’s mouth, taking the shape of the warrior maiden. It slowly turned from translucent to opaque until the woman came into view.

“Hello, Master, how can I be of service?” She bowed to me.

“I told you not to call me that.”

“What else should I call you? You are my master.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “You may call me Commander. I command your army.”

“ Your army now.”

“We have some questions for you, Morrigan,” Tharan interrupted.

The Morrigan batted her long lashes at him. “Yes, your Highness?”

I clenched my jaw, trying to keep my composure.

Tharan laid a reassuring hand on mine.

“What can you tell us about the Trinity Wells?”

She scoffed, stalking around the room, taking in the sights. Her periwinkle eyes widened when they fell upon Caiden.

“Trinity Wells?” She laughed, taking a seat next to him. “Those are a myth—an old wives’ tale. Crom Cruach was obsessed with finding them, convinced he could harness the power within and call the deities down from their heavenly sanctuaries—to smite them for what they did to the land.”

“You mean when they culled the old gods?” I asked through gritted teeth.

The Morrigan twisted her finger through one of Caiden’s golden curls, ignoring my question. “Aren’t you delicious? I haven’t seen someone like you in an age.”

“Stay on topic, Morrigan, and leave my guest alone,” Tharan warned.

She pouted her bottom lip.

“I have been cooped up for thousands of years. Just the scent of a man is enough to drive me wild.” She inhaled the secondhand smoke in the room then blew smoke rings shaped like hearts at Caiden.

He stiffened and waved the smoke out of his face, giving the Morrigan an uncomfortable, half-hearted smile.

I tightened my grip on the desk.

She continued, “When the Trinity came and culled the land, they were brutal in their retribution. Old gods like me either bent the knee, were banished to another realm, or killed—as much as a god can be. Those who chose the latter built resentment toward the Trinity and those they created. For thousands of years, they have bided their time, hiding deep in the underworld, plotting their revenge.

“That mage, Erissa? She was one of Crom’s first followers. A zealot of the highest order. That was why the elven mages kicked her from their ranks. But elves, like gods, cannot die. So, she, too, has been biding her time, I suspect. Acting like a good little mage to the Ironhearts, rebuilding her power, waiting for the world to weaken again. Crom hated the Trinity and wanted to use their power against them. That’s why he was looking for the Wells. I assume Erissa has been searching for them since he died. She loved him and likely thinks she can bring him back with the Wells power.” She shuddered at the thought.

Caiden placed a reassuring hand on hers.

“Did Crom find any of the Trinty Wells?”

I gritted my teeth trying not to focus on their hands touching.

“We’re all sitting here, aren’t we?” A smug little grin tugged at the corners of her lips.

Caiden nodded.

The Morrigan’s eyes flitted around the room. “No—you’re not thinking about going after the Wells…”

“That’s exactly what we’re thinking of doing, unless you have a better idea.” Tharan straightened to his full height, all of his power on display for the room to see.

“It’s suicide. Even if you find them and somehow unlock them, the Wells will kill you. They don’t want to be found.”

“So, they do exist?” Caiden asked.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she sunk into the couch.

“I said, I don’t know. And I don’t. But if they did exist, it’d be suicide to try and find them. The Trinity designed them never to be found.”

“Okay, thank you. It’s time for you to go back into your scepter,” I said, picking up the bone.

She winced, holding up her hands.

Caiden swiftly tucked his hands into his pockets, and I caught his eyes darting to mine before falling to the floor.

“No, I can help. Please don’t send me back there yet.”

“Oh?”

“Let me go between this world and the one beyond. I can help you and report back what the spirits are saying.”

I took a puff of my cigarette, letting the smoke calm the jealousy pooling in my gut at the memory of her hand on Caiden’s.

“How do I know you’re not going to snitch to the other side?”

She rose and crossed the room in an instant. Our faces nearly touched. I could count the faint freckles on her pale skin. Fire danced in her pale blue eyes, then quickly dulled.

“I am bound to serve you.” She fell to her knees, bowing her head low at my feet. “I have waited for a millennium to be freed. The Trinity Wells could be my ticket to freedom.”

I tapped my foot on the floor.

“And a way for me to survive using the scepter,” I said, my words dripping with condescension.

Even now, I could feel the magic tugging at the very fabric of my being.

“Rise, Morrigan. I will keep you around for now.”

“Thank you.” Grabbing my free hand, she laid a kiss onto my ring finger, as if I were a king of old.

Stunned, I yanked my hand back. Her ghostly lips sent a chill up my spine. I didn’t trust the Morrigan. She was out for herself, and no amount of ring kissing could convince me otherwise.

“Well, now that we have that settled.” Tharan took a drag from his cigarette. “I propose we all meet back here for Ostara to go over what we have found.”

“And hopefully have a true spring celebration,” Sumac said, flipping her dark hair to one side.

“And maybe something more,” Tharan whispered into my ear as he ran a finger down my back, sending my heart into my throat.

I swallowed hard, unsure if I was ready for what came next in our relationship. Was he proposing a binding ceremony? That would be a huge commitment on my part.

I loved Tharan… at least I thought I did, more than I’d ever loved anyone before. When we were together, I could breathe easier. My nightmares ceased. But something held me back from fully giving myself to him—past wounds bubbled to the surface. If I were being honest with myself, I wasn’t sure I deserved Tharan.

My eyes fell upon Caiden, who gave me a coy smile and cracked my heart a little more. We shared so much together. A history of happiness buried beneath a mountain of pain and hurt. Was it worth digging up? No—it needed to stay buried. I couldn’t go back to the person I was before. Caiden and Gideon were intrinsically linked in my mind. I couldn’t heal with Caiden in my life. As much as it pained me, I had to cut the cord between us. I swallowed a sob growing in my throat. Gideon hadn’t just erased who I was, he’d taken everyone I’d ever loved from me. My mother, my sister, and Caiden.

I turned to Tharan who gave me a wink. Pressure built behind my eyes. How could I even think about Caiden when I had the perfect man standing in front of me? What was wrong with me? I deserved this. I deserved to be happy.

Reaching out my power, I tapped on Tharan’s mind.

‘Yes?’

I sent an image of him in between my legs early in the morning and promptly turned my gaze elsewhere.

‘Naughty girl. You’ll be punished for thinking such things during an official meeting.’

Promise?

‘Get back to work.’

I didn’t have to look at him to know he was fighting a grin. The guilt weighing on my conscience eased a little bit. I wanted Tharan to know how I felt about him. He was my priority now… my everything.

Caiden stood, clicking his heels together like the soldier he was. “I will get to work on my part. Lucius, have your shadows see what they can find out about the whereabouts of Gideon and Erissa.”

Lucius nodded, pushing himself from where he leaned on the bookshelf, long white hair draped over his left shoulder, high cheekbones shadowed gaunt cheeks. “As if I didn’t have them searching already.”

“Very well, then, we will see you on Ostara.” Caiden crossed the gap between us.

I straightened as he moved closer. I was a royal Hand now, not some lovesick teenager. I snuffed out the cigarette, swallowing hard.

Caiden reached for my right hand, and I found myself instinctively raising it to him. His lips gently grazed the thin skin on my hand. The contrast between his warm lips and the Morrigan’s cold ghostly ones was a welcome relief.

A memory flashed through my mind: all the times we played coy when we were younger, hiding our affection for one another in plain sight. How many times had he kissed my hand before? I tapped the side of my nose like we used to when we were younger—A signal one of us needed saving. Not a hint of recognition flickered in his blue eyes. My heart sank a little. It was stupid of me to carry an ounce of hope.

“Thank you for saving us,” he said, sapphire eyes locked on mine. “The Court of Storms owes you a great debt.”

“It was nothing,” I whispered.

He smirked. His dimples peeking through his cheeks. “It was much more than that.”

I couldn’t help my drying throat at the memory of what we used to be.

My eyes flitted to Tharan who stood stoically behind me, arms crossed over his chest. A muscle ticked in his jaw as he watched us.

I sheepishly tucked my hand into my pocket. I didn’t want Tharan to see where another man’s lips touched my skin.

“We leave in the morning,” Lucius said. A warning lingered in his voice.

I turned to Amolie and asked, “Are you going with them?”

“I am. But I’ll meet you at the Townhome in Ruska as soon as I can.”

My heart ached at the thought of saying goodbye to my friends. These last few months, we’d grown closer than I could have imagined, and it pained me to see them go.

They filed out of the study, leaving just Tharan and me.

The winter sunset streaked the sky in dull pinks and oranges, gilding the room. Tharan leaned back in his chair, taking a long drag off his cigarette.

“I am not looking forward to seeing my grandfather,” he admitted to the now empty room, closing his eyes as if he could avoid it by looking away. “The man who killed my mother for daring to love someone she shouldn’t.”

Smoke billowed into the air.

I moved closer, sliding into his lap, and gently stealing the cigarette from between his long fingers.

“I know what you mean. I haven’t seen my mother in five years.” A phantom pain radiated through my collarbone at the thought of coming face-to-face with the woman who kept her true identity a secret my whole life. I took a drag off the cigarette, savoring the taste of clove.

Tharan pulled me closer. His warm breath set my skin on fire.

“You know I would go with you if you wanted me to,” he whispered into my ear.

I nuzzled my face into his neck.

“I know, but we do not have the luxury of time on our side.”

“When this is all over, I am going to make you mine in front of the goddess so that our souls can bond for all eternity.” His chest puffed as he held his breath.

“Tharan…” I said, voice trembling.

He cupped my face in his hands. “Yes?”

“I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of a million things. I’m afraid we’ll be separated, and something will happen to one or both of us. I’m afraid I’ll fail at being your queen. I’m afraid our marriage will ruffle feathers in the other courts and beyond. But mostly, I’m afraid I’m not good enough for you.”

His gaze softened. “Oh, Aelia, how could you think that?”

How could I not?

A memory bubbled to the surface. The first time I confronted Gideon about his infidelities.

In my memories I imagined myself smaller than I was and Gideon as a massive figure towering over me. He held my wrists tight against a wall, the cold stone sent a chill down my spine. His brown eyes fixed on mine so I could not look away. He hated it when I looked away. He wanted me to feel his wrath and he wanted to see my pain.

“What would make you think you were worthy of someone like me?”

I winced, closing my eyes.

Releasing one of my arms, he gripped my chin.

A different version of me would’ve clocked him, but I was so broken, it wasn’t worth the swift retribution that would ensue.

“Look at me.”

Hesitantly, I opened my eyes.

“Don’t forget I can get to you even when your eyes are closed. You are my pet now.”

“Why?” I eked out. “Why can’t you be good to me? I have been nothing but loyal to you.”

A chuckle rippled through his shoulders. “The fact that you thought you’d ever be worthy of me is laughable.”

I clenched my jaw, burying the hurt deep down. He wanted to see me cry. Each tear was a trophy to him.

“You are nothing, Aelia. I never loved you and I never will. I only married you because your kingdom is fertile… unlike you.”

An invisible knife seared through my heart. It couldn’t be true. He loved me once. I know he did. If only there was a way to make myself more lovable. I would be the perfect queen for him. Then he’d love me. I know he would.

“You’re not even trying to love me.”

Another condescending chuckle. “It’s not like you make it easy.”

My eyes drifted to the floor.

“Gideon burned it into me.”

Tharan wiped away the tears I hadn’t noticed rolling down my cheeks.

“You are everything I could have imagined in a partner. Every lover I took before was just a placeholder for you. I can’t explain it… but when I’m with you… I just feel whole.”

My chest tightened and then relaxed. Those were the words I’d always wanted to hear, yet there was still a part of me that didn’t believe them. Let yourself be loved, Aelia.

“I feel the same way, and it scares me.”

“We are not normal people, Aelia. We are the children of gods. Before I met you, my life was empty. I drifted from party to party, taking my fill of whatever lover presented themselves before me. But when I met you… I came alive.”

I couldn’t hide the smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. “I haven’t had a single nightmare since we returned.”

He stroked my hair gently, calming my racing heart.

“And I haven’t either.”

“Perhaps we are healing each other.”

“I like to think so.” He kissed my forehead, flooding my chest with warmth.

For a moment, I allowed myself to hope this is what our future would be. Heartache and violence replaced with soft caresses and mornings spent wrapped around each other in a bed I didn’t have to rent. No fear, no weight pressing down on my chest, no more running, no darkened corridors filled with anguish. No, ours would be a simpler, kinder, life. One filled with sweet kisses in rooms warmed by stained-glass sunlight and scented with clove cigarettes and coffee.

A breath of relief slipped between my lips. For the first time in five years, I could imagine a future beyond the next mercenary contract. And maybe, someday, beyond Gideon.