Page 34 of A Virgin for the Duke of Scars (Ton’s Beasts #1)

“And if I do not want to return to Blackwell Manor once I find my place with my family? Do I still have to follow your orders? Will others still dictate my life, even as a duchess?”

Theresa heard the edge in her voice. She recognized it as bitterness, weariness. She was so tired of the games the ton played.

Would she ever grow accustomed to this push and pull?

Aaron watched her carefully before taking a tentative step toward her. She froze as he came closer, but she sensed the hesitation in his steps. When she did not move away, he gathered the courage and closed the gap between them.

He stood before her, looking down at her with an intensity that she had come to expect. She knew he would kiss before he moved an inch closer, but still, she did not move.

She wanted him to kiss her.

She wanted to feel his affection one more time before she left, no matter how long she decided to stay with her family. Maybe before she left Blackwell Manor for good.

She wanted something to remember him by.

Aaron hooked a finger under her chin and tilted her head up. Slowly, he leaned in so that she could feel his breath on her lips, as if giving her the chance to pull away.

Theresa leaned into his touch, and their lips met.

He kissed her softly, probing and nipping her lips to see if she would yield to him. When he was met with no resistance, he deepened the kiss. His tongue plunged into her mouth, seeking hers with deliberate strokes.

Theresa had no doubts that he would take her right there and then if she let him. And she wanted to let him take her.

But he kept his hands on her waist as he kissed her. He nipped her plump lower lip once more, then soothed it with a swipe of his tongue. He explored every corner of her mouth.

Theresa moaned against his lips and arched into him, feeling his hard manhood poking her belly. His body pressed against hers made her realize how much she wanted him, how wet she was for him.

And maybe it was that realization that caused her to pull back.

She pressed one more chaste kiss to his lips and stepped away.

Aaron ran a hand through his hair, giving him a disheveled look that was so different from his usual appearance. He laughed and then sighed.

“I cannot let you go. But I also cannot give you what you want.”

“Then it seems we have reached an impasse,” Theresa said with a finality that shattered her heart.

The heat that had blossomed between them cooled, the desire evaporating.

“If what I offer you is not enough, I will not force you to stay,” he said. “I have been clear about what this marriage would be like from the start. If you choose to go, you are free to do so.”

Theresa could not mistake the finality in his voice. There would be no compromise on this issue. She would not move from her position, but his rigid stance told her he would not be moved either.

He could make love to her, but she would never have his heart.

Not the way she wanted it.

With a curt nod, she turned back to her packing and slammed the lid of the trunk shut. She lowered her head so that he could not see the tears welling up in her eyes.

“I see how it is, Your Grace,” she said, sarcasm lacing her voice.

She could hear Sister Edith telling her that sarcasm is not becoming of a woman of God, but she did not care anymore. She would never be the nun Sister Edith had raised.

“Theresa…”

Aaron extended a hand toward her, asking her to come to him. She let his arm hover in the space between them until he slowly lowered it and took a step back from her.

“Please go. I wish to rest before I leave,” she said.

“If that is what you wish,” Aaron sighed.

She nodded again and turned her back to him, not breathing until she heard the door click shut.

When she was finally alone, the emotions she had been holding in all morning burst out. She could not fully explain to Juliette why she needed to retreat to her chambers, why she needed to go to her family.

With Aaron in front of her, it was far more difficult to pretend that she did not feel something for him. She had no idea how to act around him, knowing that she had bared herself to him and he had deemed her not worthy of his full trust.

Back at the convent, she had always imagined what it would be like to get married one day. At least, she had when she was a little girl. As she got older and closer to taking her vows, those daydreams faded away. But she had never known that falling in love would feel like this.

She ached when Aaron was not near. Every moment they had spent together only made her fall deeper in love with him. When she was not with him, she felt compelled to seek him out. Her thoughts often strayed to him, despite herself.

And it wasn’t just the things he did to her that made her love him. It was the tender way he looked at her. The way he handled her kitten. The way he saw who she really was and let her ride on horseback to a party where he knew they would be judged.

He saw her for who she was and was all right with that.

Why, then, did he refuse to let her see the real him?

Theresa sank onto the bed and buried her face in her hands. The tears came faster now, sliding down her cheeks and splashing onto the silk skirt of her gown. She hoped Juliette would not return to find her like this.

Her shoulders shook as sobs tore out of her. She reached behind her to undo the laces of her dress, in a bid to breathe a bit more easily. But she found no relief from her heartbreak.

And so she curled up in her bed. She was struck again by how large the bed was just for one person. No, this bed was made for a couple. Aaron was supposed to visit her every night, but they had never made it that far.

Theresa dove beneath the duvet and pressed her face into her plush pillow, hoping it would smother her wails. She had no other way to alleviate the pain in her heart.

She cried for longer than she thought possible. Still, her tears refused to ebb. It felt like there was no end to her sorrow at the possibility of her marriage ending.

Eventually, her sobs faded to small hiccups, and she drifted off to a restless sleep.

Aaron could not sleep, not knowing that Theresa was mere hours away from taking her leave from Blackwell Manor.

He did not know if she would ever return to him.

The thought of her absence from the estate made his whole body feel heavy with the loss.

How could he have damaged his relationship with his wife completely just by making love to her?

Lady Isabella had gotten under her skin. The only small comfort was that Isabella would be dealt with accordingly. That she would never be able to cause this much strife between him and Theresa ever again. She would be long gone from the ton by the time his wife decided to return from her visit.

If she decided to return from her visit.

Unable to sleep, Aaron headed to the stables to tack up Midnight. He needed to get out of this manor and out of his predicament. When Midnight saw him coming, he quietly nickered for him and stood quietly as Aaron took the saddle from its place on the wall, placing it on the horse’s back.

“She can’t leave,” Aaron told the horse quietly. “She just can’t leave like this. Not after all we have been through.”

Midnight did not understand the words Aaron spoke, but he breathed onto Aaron’s shoulder as if he did. It was all he needed to sigh deeply, to let go of the breath he had not realized he was holding.

Aaron slipped the bridle over the horse’s head and grabbed the reins, hoisting himself up in one smooth movement. The memory of his wife sitting astride a horse beside him hovered at the edges of his mind. Tonight, he would ride alone.

He did not know exactly where he was going, but he urged Midnight out of the stables through the ton’s streets at a canter. The wind blew in his hair, giving him the disheveled appearance that he felt so keenly. The cool night air surrounded him, touching him everywhere except under the mask.

This cursed mask .

It was the reason for his entire predicament. The reason his wife was about to leave him, the reason he had ruined the night they first made love. He had been honest with her from the beginning that he would not remove it in her presence, but she had been insistent.

Aaron did not realize where he was going until he pulled his horse up short just outside Morgan’s estate.

He grabbed the reins and pulled them over the horse’s head, placing him inside one of the empty stalls in Morgan’s stables. The stall already had clean water, which Midnight drank deeply from their vigorous run through the city streets.

“I’ll be back for you soon,” he promised the horse.

He burst into the back door of the Duke of Hiverville’s estate, but he was greeted with silence. The usual hustle and bustle of the servants was missing at this late hour. Everyone was asleep, but he desperately needed to talk to his friend, so he marched through the estate to Morgan’s chambers.

“Morgan, I know you’re in there,” he called through the door, banging it with his fist. “Get out of bed and let me in.”

He heard the sounds of someone rising from the bed and putting on clothes.

“What are you doing here in the middle of the night?” Morgan asked, anger flickering over his features. “I should think you are having some type of emergency with the way you have barged in here.”

“I needed a friend, and it turns out, you are the best I have,” Aaron said with a smile he did not feel. “Now, let’s have a drink.”

He let himself into Morgan’s chambers and sat at the small table with the decanter of whiskey. Morgan’s chambers were not so different from his own—set apart from the rest of the estate, filled with things he did not share with the rest of the ton , and always well-stocked with whiskey.

“And when will you tell me the reason for this midnight visit?”

“It is my wife, Morgan,” Aaron said. “She is the most stubborn woman I have ever come across in my lifetime. More than Juliette and Grandmama combined.”

“More stubborn than you?” He quirked his eyebrow at Aaron, as if he already knew the answer to that question. “It seems you have finally met your match in the nun you wed.”

“I cannot manage to keep her at Blackwell Manor. She is determined to leave to visit her family, and she does not have the intention to return to me.”

“And what have you done to make her consider leaving? I have seen her with you, and it is clear that you two care for one another.” Morgan sat down at the table beside him and poured himself a glass of whiskey, settling in for a long night ahead.

“She is determined that I do not care for her because I harbor feelings for Lady Isabella,” Aaron said.

Morgan laughed. “Does she not know what transpired between the two of you? It seems that a simple explanation would set the record straight. After all, Lady Isabella is not your wife.”

“It is because I will not remove my mask off in her presence.” Aaron shook his head. “She thinks that I will not do so because of the feelings I still have for Isabella. That I do not trust her.”

“And do you trust her? Because it seems to me that you care for her a great deal.” Morgan took a deep sip of his drink and set it on the table in front of him. “Why is tonight so different from all the others?”

“Because I finally made love to my wife,” Aaron said. His cheeks went pink with color at the mention of the moment he shared with Theresa. He was grateful that the mask covered the majority of his features.

“What an appropriate sentiment,” Morgan said with a dry chuckle.

“What is that to mean?”

“Only that you are clearly in love with your wife, despite your best attempt to remain as lonely as you have always been.”

Morgan cocked his head to the side as Aaron opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. He shut his mouth again and stared into the glass on the table, wishing that a drink could clear these thoughts from his mind. He wished that it was as simple as Morgan made it out to be.

“You might as well show her all of you. She has already stolen your heart, so it seems,” Morgan said while Aaron was rendered speechless.

“You recall what happened when I shared myself with Lady Isabella. If I show myself to my wife, I will lose her for good,” he argued. “She will certainly never return from visiting her family.”

“And by not showing yourself to her, you have already lost her.”

Aaron let that sink in for a moment. He swirled the whiskey around in his glass and let the words wash over him. Morgan had a point—if he did not do something drastic, he would lose his wife for lack of trying. If he took the risk to show her who he really was, she may still leave, but she may not.

“Aaron, I have known you a long time,” Morgan said gently. “But you have never seemed as happy as you do when you are with your wife. She was the right match for you. You need only let her in.”

“I do not know how to do that,” Aaron countered.

“I think you know what you have to do.” Morgan drained the rest of his drink. “And now, you must leave and let me get my rest. I’m sure you can see yourself out of the estate just the same as you let yourself in.”

Aaron finished his drink quickly and stood from the table. “Thank you. For your friendship and your honesty.”

Morgan had given him a lot to think about, and he would need the ride home and the cover of darkness to consider what he could do to salvage the remains of his marriage.