Page 33 of A Very Titan Christmas (Titan #14)

With an IV in her arm and an army of nurses checking her vitals, Rachel lay in her hospital bed.

She tried to imagine how this ordeal might have played out differently.

If only she hadn’t gone with that man. If only she hadn’t stormed the conference center in search of her parents and answers.

Even after she’d picked out her abductor from the investigators’ photographs, they had asked her the same questions in a hundred different ways.

She felt like she’d provided helpful information but also felt like an idiot for putting everyone in this situation.

She closed her eyes. Her dad was retiring. Whether or not he stayed in his job didn’t make a difference to her. She worried about her mother, though.

Hell, Rachel was worrying about everything.

Her parents. Her article. Her relationship with Bryce.

She should be typing notes about the teddy bear tea party at her cabin.

Mrs. Claus had brought smiles and laughter during story time, and Kimberly would love Rachel’s new photographs.

But no, she was staying overnight at the hospital for observation.

If a nurse would remove the monitors or IV drip, maybe she would feel more like a human again. Her body ached in places she hadn’t even known could ache. It was as if the brutal cold had physically beaten her up. It seemed like centuries had passed since she’d actually felt warm enough.

An electronic sound preceded the slow whoosh of her hospital door swinging open. “Knock, knock.”

“Hi, Mom.”

Eloise moved to the side of her hospital bed and took Rachel’s hand. “Sorry, I didn’t realize the officers had left. Do you need anything?”

“No, you don’t have to fuss over me. I promise.”

“Fussing is my nature.” Eloise’s eyes were tired, and her hair looked flatter than Rachel had ever seen it.

“You should go home and get some sleep.”

“Not yet.”

“Visiting hours have to be over.”

Eloise wriggled her eyebrows. “Perks of your father’s job. I’m not leaving until I’m ready.”

Rachel studied the dark circles under Eloise’s eyes and her faded lipstick. “You need sleep as much as I do.”

Eloise gave a little sigh then tugged the blanket up higher over Rachel’s chest. “You could’ve died out there.”

“But I didn’t.”

“Maybe your father’s retirement is for the best.” She smoothed her hand over the blanket. “It feels frustrating to…” She shook her head. “So many things could have gone wrong.”

“But I’m safe.”

“I overheard two agents talking about your flag. You used your head.” Eloise smiled tightly and grabbed a tissue from the bag at her side. “I’m proud of you.”

Rachel smiled faintly. “I’m kinda proud of myself too. Desperation fueled creativity. Did anyone tell you if they found the guys who took me?”

“No one’s telling me anything, but I doubt that’s because they don’t know. I’m just a little emotional still. Your father was a mess, but he pulled it together.”

Rachel tilted her head. “Is he going to cancel his big legacy-making summit?”

Eloise smiled but shook her head. “Nope.”

“Good.”

She fidgeted. “Forget about his big legacy-making summit. If only I could make peppermint bark, host tea parties, and solve international security issues. Then both of you would be safe at home. No one would need security details.”

“You seem better about his retirement than you did earlier when he told me.”

“I’m going to miss this life.” Eloise waved a hand vaguely and frowned. “I’m supposed to start a second act. Apparently.”

“Why can’t you still be the famously overstepping woman you’ve always been?”

Eloise cut her a sharp look but laughed. “I have a confession.” She twisted her fingers into nervous knots. “I went a little off the deep end when Dad told me his plans at Thanksgiving.”

“How so?”

Eloise blushed. Never in Rachel’s entire life, no matter what shenanigans her mother had gotten into, had Eloise Porter ever blushed. “Mom?”

She smoothed her hands over her cheeks as though trying to cool them and then stared at her lap.

“The truth is”—she raised her chin and met Rachel’s eyes—“I’ve been talking about grandbabies because I…

lost myself for the last few weeks. And I thought if I was going to also lose my job—being a senator’s wife—then I could transition into a new role as a grandmother.

” She cringed. “I don’t think I even realized what I was doing when I started pestering you like a lunatic.

I’m sorry. I love you, and I just lost myself.

I don’t need grandbabies. Well, I mean, I wouldn’t say no if you and Mr. Handsome decided to jump on that bandwagon, but I’m actually more concerned about your health and happiness.

Contrary to what I’ve said and done recently. ”

“Mom…” Rachel was quiet for a beat. She shouldn’t have lied to Eloise. Something had been going on with her mother; she should have figured that out instead of conjuring up a fake boyfriend. “I have to tell you—”

“That said,” Eloise continued, “I really am thrilled you and Bryce reconnected. I mostly liked him back in high school. Until that little breakup of yours when I wanted to kill him. Painfully, to be honest. Slowly and painfully. But I like him even more now.”

“Mom—”

“When he realized you were missing… The look on that man’s face. He would have torn the mountain apart looking for you.”

Her stomach fluttered even as she swallowed hard. Her mom deserved the truth.

“He loves you,” Eloise said softly. “I could see it clear as day.”

She swallowed hard and felt a blush rise on her cheeks. “I told him to lie—Well, actually, I lied, and he went along with it.” She gnawed on the inside of her cheek. “Titan Group even wrote the whole fake relationship into my security plan. For all the good that did me.”

Rachel waited for the lecture that would come, complete with her mother’s theatrics. She deserved whatever tantrum Eloise threw.

“But is it still fake?” Eloise asked quietly. “Because I know what I saw on his face. I know what I’ve seen when you’re together.”

Rachel closed her eyes and replayed the key points of their relationship in her mind.

The fake boyfriend set up a situation that he couldn’t refuse.

Her anger and hurt over a long-ago breakup.

The way she now understood what teenage Bryce had been trying to do: protect her.

Their ruse had fallen apart because, even as she forced him to ice skate and decorate cookies, they bantered and talked—and she’d fallen in love again.

“It was supposed to be pretend,” she said finally. “I don’t know how fake morphs into real, but…”

“It sounds like it already has. Even if you haven’t discussed it.” Eloise reached out and took her hand again. “You don’t have to know what comes next. If it’s real, don’t let it slip away just because it didn’t start the way you thought it should have.”

It was real on her end. Rachel nodded, eyes stinging. “Maybe we could talk about something else.”

“Sure.” Eloise patted her hand. After a long moment, she dropped her voice. “There’s something I have to talk to your father about, but I haven’t. I’m nervous.”

Rachel used a knuckle to swipe away a stray tear and laughed. “You’re never nervous about anything.”

“Not true.”

“What could you possibly be nervous about?”

“I’ve been with your father for over forty years, and I’ve always been defined by what I am to someone else.

Your mom. His wife. I’m still those things, but maybe…

” Eloise smoothed her hands over her legs.

“Maybe, for my second act, I run for mayor. Mayor Fowler will be retiring and suggested I run.”

“Really?”

Eloise gave a self-deprecating laugh. “I’d certainly obsess less about future grandchildren if I had a new role to fill my time.

” She shrugged as if downplaying the possibility, but her eyes showed an excitement that Rachel hadn’t seen before.

“It’s an idea to think about and far more interesting than picking up competitive bocce ball.

I need to talk to your father about it—and I’m saying all this to show you, in my expert way of leading by example, that you should talk to Bryce. Only good can come of it.”

That wasn’t true—not with their lives and careers taking them to different places. Their futures didn’t intersect. But she knew this: Nothing about what was between them was pretend. And maybe it hadn’t been from the beginning.

*

“Morning, beautiful.” Bryce walked into the hospital room the next morning with a change of clothes for her and a stuffed bear clad in rock climbing gear. “Thought this would be a good keepsake.”

Her laughter washed away his irritation, which had intensified overnight. The doctors had only allowed family members to see her the day before. He hadn’t made the cut.

He set the bag of clothes at the foot of her bed, gave her the bear, and sat at her side. “You okay?”

“Better than the last time I saw you.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “The burlap bags were quite the look.”

“A lifesaving look,” she joked.

He brushed her hair off her face.

“My hair’s a mess.”

“Nah.” Bryce ran his fingers along her jaw. “Sorry, I couldn’t check on you last night. Family only.”

She held his gaze in a way that made him feel happy and stupid. “They should have let you in.” Rachel bit her bottom lip. “I told my mom.”

“About what?”

“Us.”

His eyebrows raised. “All right, then.” Us.

That one little word packed a hell of a punch.

Eloise knew, and their gig was up. The fake relationship duty was officially over.

This was not how he had envisioned the morning going.

“Okay, then. Here are your clothes.” He handed her the bag and stood.

“I’ll let you get dressed, and… well, you’re still stuck with me.

” He forced a smile. “They’ve told you the summit is still a go? ”

“Wait, Bryce.” She fidgeted with her bedsheet like she had more to say but wouldn’t meet his eye. “Yeah, that’s what my mom said. They didn’t cancel it. I’m glad.”

“And the Feds made two arrests this morning. Quick and quiet, but I’m sure there will be more news later.” He rolled his bottom lip into his mouth and headed for the door. “I’ll give you a few minutes to change, and then we’ll roll.”

He paced the hall and tried to empathize with her situation, although his ego was bruised.

Eloise and the senator had probably been pissed that he and Rachel had lied.

Rachel would have gotten ten kinds of hell from her parents for manufacturing their relationship.

But that wasn’t what had gotten under his skin.

That Rachel would end their ruse without first clueing him in stung.

Then again, he wasn’t the one who’d survived an abduction and nearly freezing to death.

She was entitled to tell her parents whatever she wanted.

Her hospital door opened. “I’m dressed.”

She was beautiful but looked tired. Rachel wore the sweater and jeans Nicola Garrison had picked out.

She hugged the rock-climbing teddy bear in front of her like a shield.

Bryce wanted to tell her that she didn’t need to protect herself from him.

He wouldn’t hurt her like he had before.

Then again, she wasn’t hurting. He was. “Ready?”

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Bryce lifted his shoulders. “Sure.”

She rested her chin on top of the bear and studied him for a moment. “Actually, maybe later. I’m still exhausted.”

He’d been warned that her fatigue would linger. Bryce helped her into her coat and led the way to his vehicle.

The hospital wasn’t close to the resort. Nothing in Vermont was close to anything. The switchbacks on the road required him to concentrate on his driving. Rachel wasn’t talking anyway, and he didn’t know what to say.

Hell, he didn’t know what his problem was. He’d played a role and bitten off more than he could chew—except that was bullshit. He wasn’t overburdened. He was in love. Bryce jerked the vehicle into the parking lot of a scenic overlook.

“Bryce, what the—”

He parked in the middle of the semi-plowed lot. “I didn’t do a good job of this last time you and I were…” He didn’t know what to call it. “I’ve got too much life lived not to say what’s on my mind.”

Her eyes were wide. Her pink lips parted, surprise coloring her features.

“Nothing has been fake with us, Rach. Ever. And I know you know that.”

She nodded. “I know.”

Wait, what? “Then what—What did I miss? You told Eloise about us.”

“You didn’t let me finish. You jumped up, all businesslike and cold.”

“I wasn’t cold.”

“You weren’t overly friendly.”

Had he been cold? Maybe. He’d been surprised. His ego had suffered a kick in the nuts. He might’ve been cold. He wasn’t all that friendly to begin with.

She pushed stray hair off her cheeks and studied his face, as though searching for an unspoken agreement that everything had changed. Or maybe he was reading too much into her expression. Wishful thinking.

“You want to let me finish now?” she asked.

Slowly, he nodded. “Yeah. Guess so.”

“I said we stopped pretending.” She squeezed the teddy bear and focused on the windshield. “And I said I don’t know if something becomes real just because it’s not fake.”

Fuck. Wishful thinking was correct. He’d read the situation deadass wrong. “Rach…”

She looked at him and showed a vulnerability he hadn’t expected.

The needling aggravation under his skin washed away.

They hadn’t talked about the future. They hadn’t admitted anything.

They’d been physical. They’d been intimate.

But they hadn’t acknowledged what life would look like beyond Christmas.

Hell. Bryce unbuckled his seat belt and jumped out of the car.

He rounded the hood and yanked her door open.

He just needed to get his hands on her. It was that simple.

He reached over and unfastened her seat belt, pulling her to face him.

“Rach, I’m so far beyond pretending that I’m in love with you. ”

“You are?”

He tried to read past her surprise to what those wide eyes might mean. The cold air wrapped around them. He should’ve stayed in his seat, but damn if he could stop himself from touching her. “I don’t know how this works out, but it won’t unless you hear it. So, there it is, babe. I love you.”

Her lips curved up, and he realized he’d been holding his breath.

Rachel wrapped her arms around his neck. “I love you too.”

He dropped his forehead to hers. “No more pretending. The real deal.”

She nodded. “So kiss me already. We’ll figure everything else out when it’s not freezing.”

Bryce was smiling when he slanted his mouth over hers. Smiling when she melted against him. Smiling because they’d miscommunicated years ago but would not go down that road again.