Page 26 of A Treasure To Keep (Leone Legacy #2)
Andrea
A week and a half later, El and I return to our doctors.
She’s mentioned her excitement about having a baby several times a day since our original appointment.
She’s been restless out of excitement, and I’ve been restless out of concern.
I’ve kept something major from her. Something I thought I would have time to bring up. Until Luci and Alessandro’s wedding.
El kisses me when her name is called back, and I give her my best fake smile. My knee bounces as I wait for my name to be called back. When it does, my heart races, terrified of what results I may have. Would she leave me if the results show what I’ve been dreading?
My doctor comes into the room, his face neutral as he opens the folder that holds the results. He sits down in his rolling chair, turning to face me.
“At your last appointment, we talked about having a baby with your girlfriend. I expressed concerns about the experimental treatment you had as a child for your cancer. The side effects are the primary reason why this treatment didn’t pass the experimental phase.
The good news is that nothing showed up on your blood results.
What I’m concerned about is your sperm sample.
” Insert the dramatic, yet imaginary dun-dun-dun sound effect here.
There it is. The doctors said there could be negative side effects with the experimental treatment, reproductive ability being one of them.
I was five when I was diagnosed with cancer.
We tried traditional treatments for six months, noticing that the tumor we found was growing.
I remember seeing ma mère in the kitchen when I was supposed to be asleep that night.
The doctor I saw recommended making me comfortable and controlling the pain I was constantly in.
I didn’t necessarily understand what my doctor meant at the time.
What I did understand was that it made ma mère sad, and I hated to see her sad.
A week later, the same doctor called us, telling us that there was a doctor he knew who was experimenting with a different form of treatment.
One that’s helped tumors shrink to the point they can be safely removed.
Ma mère didn’t hesitate to sign me up, even though it was expensive and had no guarantee it would work.
I run my hand up the nape of my neck, finding the small scar that’s been there for the majority of my life. One that’s the only reminder of the hardship and determination ma mère and I experienced during that time. “What about my sperm sample?”
He closes my file, giving me his whole attention as he speaks.
“Your sperm count is low. I’m sure you know that from what your doctor mentioned.
I hate to tell you this, but your chances of having a baby are extremely low.
Even though it’s not impossible, your chances of having a baby, regardless of how healthy your partner is, are about 2 percent.
Maybe less. I’m sorry, I don’t have better news.
” This is going to break El. How do I tell her?
“I know your girlfriend is here. I can help you tell her.” I nod my head, knowing that regardless of how I tell her, we will leave this office with broken hearts.
Several minutes later, a nurse opens the door, escorting El into the room before shutting it behind her.
She sits next to me, a wide smile on her face.
I hate that my body will be the reason I can’t give her what she desperately wants.
My mind races, worried about what she may do, and the threat of her leaving me crosses my mind.
She wouldn’t leave me because of this. Would she?
“Everything is perfect. We can start officially trying tonight. My doctor said it could take up to a year for my body to detox from the shot, considering how long I was on it. That gives us plenty of time to prepare. Clear out the extra bedroom to turn it into a nursery. Save up money. The whole nine yards. We can run by the store and get ovulation tests on our way home. That way, we know if my body is regulating my ovulation.” I hold her hand firmly in mine, and I know at any moment my doctor will come in and break her heart.
“What are we doing in here? Is something wrong?” When I open my mouth, the knock on the door interrupts us as my doctor walks in.
My doctor holds out his hand, shaking El’s as he gives her a polite smile.
“Hello, El. It’s nice to meet you. I’ve come in here to chat with you two about test results.
With your consent, I talked with your doctor.
I’m glad to see everything came back clear.
What Andrea and I want to talk about is his results, specifically his sperm sample.
” Her hand loosens her grip on mine, eyes flipping between my doctor and me.
“What about his results? Andrea, what’s going on?” She nervously chews on her lip while dread sits in my stomach, waiting for the ball to drop.
My doctor catches my eyes, asking for confirmation before he speaks. I nod, letting him know that I still need his support with this news. “As a child, Andrea had an experimental treatment for his cancer—”
El whips her head toward me, and my doctor notices, instantly knowing that I’ve never told her. “You had cancer as a child? Why didn’t you tell me? What does this mean? What aren’t you telling me?”
My doctor turns to me, giving me the chance to tell El myself.
Instead, I nod my head again, letting him know to keep going.
“The treatment he experienced had a long list of potential side effects. Thankfully, Andrea has avoided the majority of them. The side effect we’ve come to find out he has is a low sperm count.
What we’re trying to inform you of is that the chances of you two conceiving a baby are about 2 percent. ”
She bolts up, tears instantly in her eyes as she processes his words. The last piece of hope escapes her mouth in the form of a question. “What about artificial insemination? We can isolate the good sperm, right?” My heart breaks when I hear her voice crack with that last word.
“Unfortunately, no. Not in Andrea’s case. I’m sorry I don’t have better news.” El bolts out of his office, running away from me and the news we received. I race after her, catching up to her in the parking lot. She struggles with her keys to open the driver’s side door of her car.
“El. El! Talk to me.” Her hair swings behind her shoulder when she turns toward me. Instantly, big tears run down her face. I hate that I put them there.
“Why didn’t you tell me about the cancer? Why didn’t you tell me that you may not be able to have children? You got my hopes up for nothing! How dare you!” The keys drop out of her hands, the small inconvenience causing her to fall to the ground.
“Come, mon trésor. Please. Get up and let me help you into the car. I’ll drive us home.
” I hate driving. I avoided getting my driver’s license for as long as I could.
When I moved to America, I found it was better to get my license.
Most of the time, unless El drives me somewhere, I take the bus. I don’t even own a vehicle.
When we get home, I help her get into the apartment and into bed. I gently and quietly shut the door to our bedroom, waiting on the other side. My heart practically stops when I hear her sob into the pillow. How am I supposed to fix this? I can’t fix this.
El’s purse sits in our living room, and I call the only person I can think of to help her. Her cheery voice answers the phone as she greets El, not expecting my voice in return.
“Hi Luci, it’s Andrea. We got some unexpected news, and I’m not sure how to help El. I know Alessandro will want my head on a platter simply by asking, since he’s incredibly protective of you currently. However, I need a favor. Is there any way you could come over? She needs a friend.”
“Uhhh . . . let me ask.” Luci puts down the phone, and I hear the muffled argument between her and Alessandro.
Eventually, I hear Alessandro give a curt ‘fine’ before Luci’s voice comes through the phone.
“Enzo will bring me over and stand outside the front door. Text me your address, and I’ll be over there as soon as I can. ”
I let the tears fall the second Luci and I hang up, quiet sobs leaving me. I need to be strong for El, even though this breaks me as much as it breaks her. I have one job, and I can’t do it for her.
“Please don’t leave me, El. Mon trésor.” I whisper the words, hoping she will answer my prayers, even though I know she can’t hear me.