Page 39 of A Translation of Desire (The Brazen Curators #2)

R ose made her way to the drawing room in Augustus’s house. He’d left early this morning, mentioning a meeting with Hawley. Rose wanted to go, but the scholar requested that he come alone. He promised to tell her anything the man said.

Mary and Willa left after that, mentioning that a dressmaker needed Willa’s measurements for several gown purchases. Augustus’s sister didn’t seem happy about it. Rose was alone in their massive house, which was indeed strange. Her mouth tilted up in amusement.

Well, not exactly alone. Between the guards and servants, Augustus seemed to employ a small army. Nowhere in this house was anyone genuinely alone. As she turned into the room, she stumbled to a stop. A beautiful lady sat on the sofa—it was Lady Gillings.

The woman turned, and Rose was taken aback by how she truly personified the perfect lady.

Her soft pink dress fit her perfectly, and her hair was tied up in delicate loops and curls—none out of place.

Rose shifted, uncomfortable with her own rumbled state.

The maid had wanted to do something extravagant with her hair, but she’d asked for something more simple.

Her dress was one she wore while she was working on her research.

Lady Gilling’s face lit up when she spotted Rose, making her seem even more charming. Rose wanted to dislike her but suspected that this woman was not only the perfect lady but also kind.

“Are you Miss Calvert?”

Rose nodded, and the woman beamed at her. “I attended your recent talk during the grand opening of the Historical Society for Female Curators.”

She forced herself to smile. “Thank you.”

The lady’s delicate nose wiggled, and her brows furrowed. “Are you here to see the Duchess of Sinclair or Lady Willa as well?”

A flush crept across Rose’s cheeks. No, she was actually tupping the duke. She didn’t say that, though. She shook her head and said, “I’m staying with them for a few days.”

Surprise flitted across Lady Gillings’s face, and Rose added, “It’s a long story.”

The lady beamed, “Would you join me? I’m waiting for the duchess and Willa to return. The butler said they should be back shortly.”

Rose didn’t want to but had no reason to refuse.

She nodded and moved to the sitting area.

A servant entered with tea and a plate of sweets.

Lady Gillings thanked them and then served them each tea, not spilling a drop.

Rose found herself hoping she would spill the tea across the table, but she didn’t.

Of course, someone raised to be a duchess wouldn’t do something so gauche. Her stomach clenched at the thought.

“Have you known the Sinclairs your whole life, Lady Gillings?”

She smiled. “Please call me Catherine. And yes, even my first memories involve them. Augustus, Willa, their land steward’s son, and I all used to run through the fields together. Our family’s primary country estates border each other. I hope to spend more time in the area this year.”

Rose didn’t know what she disliked most, Augustus’s given name rolling off her tongue or that the lady would be around him more. Still, it wasn’t this woman’s fault that Rose had fallen for the duke. “It sounds like an idyllic childhood.”

Catherine smiled. “It was. I’m excited for my children to spend more time at my parents’ country estate. They’ve visited but only for brief trips.”

“I’m sure they will enjoy it.”

Her smile disappeared. “Yes, I love our home up north, but I worry there is too much sadness there right now. I want my children to have a reprieve from it. I’ve just come out of mourning.”

The woman’s pain was still evident; even though Rose was jealous of the lady, sadness filled her. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

Catherine took a deep and said, “I promised my husband I would not allow myself to waste away, so I will not.”

Augustus could make her happy, Rose thought.

They’d been in love once. They could easily fall for each other again.

Her eyes roamed over the lady ideally suited to be a duchess.

The ache in her heart intensified because the more she sat with Catherine, the more ridiculous she felt about a potential life with Augustus.

The lady sighed and stood. “I think I will try another day. I should have sent word first but figured they would be home at this hour.”

Rose stood. “I’m sorry you could not visit with them or the duke.”

Catherine laughed. “I didn’t expect to see Augustus. He’s always been such a busy man. I’m sure we will run into each other eventually.”

Rose nodded, and the woman smiled. “Though he seems to have more interest in antiquities than I’ve ever remembered.”

She smiled, and Catherine waved goodbye. After her departure, Rose sank back down onto the sofa. A tear slid down her cheek because as much as it hurt, Rose knew she’d met the woman who was supposed to be Augustus’s duchess.

Rose let the tears fall freely, allowing herself to grieve the loss of someone she wanted so badly. When they stopped, she stood. It was time to go back to Lisbeth’s. She would finish her business in London and depart for good. She’d done as her father asked and participated in part of the Season.

As she made her way down the hallway, her eyes roamed over the portraits of regal ladies lining the walls—all so different from her.

She reassured herself this was the right decision, not for her but for Augustus.

And, if Rose had learned one thing during her time in London, it was that love sometimes meant giving up the person you wanted the most so they could live the life they were meant to.

If Augustus chose Rose, it would require much compromise and change on his part. Rose loved Augustus, the Duke of Sinclair, too much to force that on him.

*

Augustus walked into the drawing room of his house to find his mother and sister. They were reading books. He asked, “Is Rose resting?”

Willa rose and picked up a message from the table close to the door. “She’s departed for the Duchess of Lusby’s townhouse, but she did leave this for you.”

He was shocked by her words. Why did Rose leave? He’d not expected her to depart until after they spoke with Hawley tomorrow. Augustus opened the letter and began to read.

Augustus,

I’ve decided to return to Lisbeth’s home. The events of the last few days are catching up with me. I need time to think through all that has happened. I will see you tomorrow at our meeting with Lord Hawley. Please don’t reach out before then.

Rose

Something was amiss. He asked, “Did you see her leave?”

His mother shook her head. “She was gone by the time we returned.”

“What if someone has taken her again?”

He couldn’t fathom any logical reason that she would choose to depart. Augustus moved to leave, but his mother said, “Wait. Calm down, Augustus. Nothing is wrong. Our driver and a guard are the ones who brought her home.”

“Are you sure?”

Willa walked over to him and placed a hand on his sleeve. “Yes. Is there something you are concerned about?”

He shook his head, feeling foolish that he was getting so upset. Augustus was not an emotional man. His mother and sister frowned at him. He sighed and walked to a sideboard, pouring himself a brandy.

His family remained silent as he went to the sitting area and joined them. Finally, he said, “It has been a long few days.”

“Have you spoken to Rose about your feelings or courting her?” his mother asked.

He shook his head. A sense of foreboding rested on his shoulders. He’d not had a chance to discuss anything with her about their feelings.

Willa’s eyes widened. “She has been here for days, and you haven’t told her you love her?”

His eyes flew to her face, startled by her words. She smiled impishly at him. “What else would it be but love?”

He couldn’t deny it but also found himself unable to utter an agreement. He sensed from Rose’s note that things would not end without his heart being shattered. He’d asked her to think about staying. Had it been too much, too soon?

“We are very different. I care for her, but it doesn’t mean she will consider me as a suitor. She will have to give up much to be my wife.”

Willa sighed. “You always say that. We can help her. We can help you with the property. You always think you have to do everything on your own, but you don’t. Mother and I care about the dukedom just as much as you. You’ve already started to include me more in your estate meetings.”

His mother nodded. “Agreed.”

“She travels. I can’t leave England.”

His mother lifted a regal brow. “Why not?”

“I can’t ignore my obligations here for four to six months,” he said.

“No one expects you to abandon them, Augustus, but you can allow us to take care of them for you. Tillerson would work with us. Willa drives him crazy, but he still respects her opinions,” his mother said.

Willa scowled at the mention of their childhood friend, who was now their land steward. Augustus chuckled. “That man can get you fired up like no one else.”

His sister rolled her eyes. “While I find Till annoying and stubborn, we would work fine with him.”

“So, you are saying that you would want to take on the dukedom’s responsibilities for four to six months so I could go explore ruins.”

His mother sighed. “If you love her and want to do that, then yes. You fill our house with antiquities from all over the world. Do you truly not want to see the places they come from?”

Traveling had been something he’d never even fathomed for himself. His father had died when he was just becoming a man, leaving very little time to pursue any interests outside of his ducal responsibilities.

“We say that you deserve happiness.”

He took another sip of his brandy before sighing. “You are the second person to tell me that today. I didn’t realize I was such an unhappy man.”

“Grumpy and priggish.” Willa smirked.

“Just think about it, Augustus. She is the only lady you have shown such care for since Catherine.”

In truth, he knew his feelings for Rose were so much more than anything he’d ever felt for Catherine. He would always care for his childhood love, but he now realized why she’d left him all those years ago. He understood what real love was.

Unfortunately, he also knew that he loved Rose enough to let her go if all of this would make her miserable. His predicament was not whether he loved her or not; it was whether he could really expect her to change her life for him.

“I will think about it,” he said, unwilling to share his concerns with them. That would make them all too real.