Page 49 of A Tower of Half-Truths

“Shortly after Conor left Nezima’s employ, he asked me for a job.

I already had Wren and Lorcan; I could hardly afford a third assistant, but I could hardly turn him down in his time of need.

” He sighed as he rubbed his temples. “Conor then confessed that he’d harbored romantic feelings for me all along.

I reminded him of the Covenants, but he insisted that he didn’t care whether our courtship needed to remain secret; he wanted to be both my assistant and my lover.

He made some quite, er, persuasive arguments. ”

His face turned scarlet, which told Mavery everything she needed—and a bit more than she wanted—to know. Alain cleared his throat.

“To the outside world, we were simply wizard and assistant. Behind closed doors, we were…much more than that.” He winced. “I’m sorry, speaking of this must seem so crass, considering…”

Mavery smiled. “Considering what? Last I checked, friends were allowed to talk about their past lovers. Besides, after everything I just told you about Neldren, it’s only fair.”

“Right.” He lowered his gaze. “Of course.”

“So, how did you afford his wages?”

“I’m sure you noticed the dearth of magical trinkets around here. I paid him with whatever he could easily pawn. It was either that, or my life savings.” He shrugged. “At least my affection for him never rendered me completely senseless.”

Mavery’s heart sank. Someone had gotten the drop on her long before she’d found that newspaper ad.

“I wish I could say it had all been worth it,” Alain said, “but no matter how much I sacrificed, nothing was ever enough. Minor disagreements about research methods escalated into explosive personal arguments. Before long, I realized we had very little in common.” He laughed darkly.

“As it turns out, physical attraction alone does not make a sturdy foundation for a relationship.”

Mavery nodded. “I understand that all too well.”

“From the moment I agreed to our secret courtship, I don’t know, something in him changed. It’s as though he became an entirely different person.”

“Or, perhaps you were seeing the person he’d been all along.”

“Perhaps,” Alain sighed. “I wasn’t happy, and neither was he.

He tried to push my boundaries and make our courtship public.

The tipping point was after we made a research breakthrough with the Innominate Temple.

Conor and I went out to celebrate at the Lettered Gentleman.

I hoped that being surrounded by our colleagues would deter him from doing anything rash.

“But, after a few pints, he threw his arms around me and tried to kiss me. I pushed him away, and I don’t think anyone noticed, but we argued about it all the way back here, where we argued for hours. We said many hurtful things to one another. Things that can’t easily be taken back.”

He hesitated as his body became more tense, his breathing more shallow. Mavery grasped his shoulder again, bracing them both for whatever came next.

“Despite all that, Conor insisted…on becoming intimate.” He took a deep gulp of air. “I tried to turn him down again, but that time…he…”

An ache settled in Mavery’s chest, like a vise slowly squeezing her heart.

“You don’t have to continue,” she whispered.

Alain turned his head. His eyes glistened with tears that he was rapidly trying to blink back.

“Thank you, but I’m afraid the story doesn’t end there,” he said, then lowered his head again. “After that night, I couldn’t remain with him, but he’d threatened to report me to Kazamin if I ended our relationship. And so…”

“The research trip.”

He nodded. “I assume Wren filled you in on the details, save for the real reason why I sent them away.”

“You felt trapped, and you thought that was your only option.”

“Precisely. To Conor’s credit, he never revealed my intentions to the others. Perhaps he also wanted some time apart.” He paused. “Perhaps we both got what we wanted, thanks to my stupidity.”

Alain’s body shuddered as he let the tears fall at last. Without hesitation, Mavery threw her arms around his shoulders, pulled him into a tight embrace.

“His death was an accident,” she whispered. “You can’t blame yourself for what happened.”

She brushed back his rumpled locks of hair, wiped away tears that had slipped down his cheeks. Before tonight, Mavery had hoped Conor’s death had been quick and painless. Now, as white-hot fury kindled in her stomach, she hoped the bastard had suffered.

“Er, Mavery?” Alain said, looking at the floor.

Beneath her bare feet, tiny branches bearing green foliage had sprouted from the floorboards.

“Huh,” she said. “I can’t even remember the last time that happened.”

Alain watched the branches with amusement. Then, his eyes widened. He pulled out of her embrace and looked away.

“What’s the matter?” she asked.

He mumbled something beneath his breath. His gaze darted back to her feet as he flushed pink from neck to forehead.

She realized how, from knees downward, her legs were on full display.

The rest of her was covered only by the thin cotton of her sleeping shift.

It was little more than a shapeless sack that did nothing to reveal the contours of her body, but this was still the most exposed she’d ever been around Alain.

She’d spent a good portion of her adult life sleeping in shared quarters with strangers—a lifestyle that seldom allowed for modesty. And so, until this exact moment, she hadn’t given her state of undress much thought. And neither had he, evidently.

“Sorry about that.” She tugged the fabric over her bent knees, though she only succeeded at covering up a single inch of skin. “I didn’t even think—”

“Don’t apologize.” Alain cleared his throat, though the flush in his cheeks lingered. “I did, after all, tell you to make yourself at home. I certainly can’t fault you for following instructions.”

She laughed, relieved that something had offered them a bit of levity. But, like all good things, it didn’t last for long. Now that his nervousness had passed, Alain’s expression darkened again.

“When Wren and Lorcan informed me of what happened at the temple, the first thing I felt wasn’t sadness, not even guilt. Those all came later, and it’s what drove me to confine myself to this apartment for months on end.

“No, the first thing I felt was…relief.” He turned to her. “What does that make me?”

Mavery cupped his face between her hands.

“Human,” she whispered. “It makes you human.”

And then she embraced him again. At first, he remained frozen on the spot, his body tense against hers.

But Mavery didn’t let that deter her; she continued to hold him.

His heart beat so rapidly, she could feel it thrumming through her own chest. Slowly, his tension began to ease.

He wrapped his arms around her, letting them come to rest against the small of her back.

“Thank you,” he whispered. His breath was heavy and warm against her hair.

“Of course. Now, I think we’re both long overdue for some sleep.”

Though the wine hadn’t affected his ability to speak, the same couldn’t be said about his ability to walk.

Using the wall for support, she helped him to his feet.

He swayed on the spot until she took his arm and slung it around her shoulders, then guided him to the bedroom.

Mavery couldn’t help but think of the last time they’d found themselves in a similar predicament.

The next time she took him to bed, she hoped he would be fully present—and that it would be under better circumstances.

His orb of light, still tethered to his magic, had followed them.

He made a fist, and Mavery blinked as her eyes adjusted to the sudden darkness.

Rain spattered against the bedroom window, though with less fervor than before.

It all but drowned out the soft rustle of fabric, the creaking of the bed frame.

As she began to turn away, Alain grasped her hand. Neither of them mentioned their argument about the sofa as he pulled her into bed with him. They said nothing about the Covenants as he draped his arm over her and pulled her closer, until her body was flush against his.

It had been months since she’d last shared a bed with someone in this way.

Long enough to forget how much heat could radiate from another person’s skin, how that could warm her more deeply than layers of blankets.

She returned his embrace, and he clung to her more tightly.

She stroked his hair, and he sighed deeply as his head fell against her chest.

The rain continued as they both drifted off to sleep.