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“D oing? I, er, thought I’d visit my mother for a week or so, and I’ve got a lot of work that needs to be done. Coming back from the dead isn’t easy,” Richard told Ellen.

“Oh, no, I imagine it isn’t, but I meant… I don’t know… with your life. Are you going to resume your title? A second cousin of yours inherited. I can’t imagine he’s going to be very happy—”

“Ah, no! And to be honest, I don’t want the title any more. I think I’ll be very happy being plain-old Mr. Moreton.” Ellen looked for truth in his words and was surprised to find she completely believed him. “Actually, what I’d like to do is travel.”

“Really?” Ellen was surprised. She’d never imagined Richard to be the sort to want adventure.

“Yes. All of this is why I’d like us to end our marriage.” He sat forward. “Ellen, I don’t know what your life has been like since I left. I can’t imagine it’s been easy, but… well, I want it to be. I want you to find someone to be with, to marry—if you haven’t already. Goodness!” He ran a hand through his hair in a gesture that felt so familiar to her. “I haven’t even asked whether you are married! I, er, I assume you’re not since you’re still living here.”

She could only smile. This sounded much more like the Richard she knew. “No, I’m not married. In fact, I’ve only recently put off my mourning clothes if you can believe it. It took me three years to decide it was time for me to move on.”

“And then I show up. I’m so sorry!”

“It’s all right. I—”

“This is why we need to get an annulment. You need to move on. I want you to be happy—you deserve it, especially after all this time.”

Little did he know! It wasn’t only these past three years, but the ten before that. It had been since he’d left for school that she’d been waiting to move away from Richard. He’d moved on from her, but she hadn’t had the same freedom. Circumstances had always pulled her back—circumstances and laziness if she were honest. It had always simply been easier to live with Richard and his family. She’d never had to push herself or try anything new. But now she was ready.

“Thank you. I appreciate that.” She paused and then asked, “Have you given a thought to exactly how we would have our marriage annulled? I mean… we didn’t…”

“Oh! It shouldn’t be too difficult. I remembered I didn’t fill in my entire name in the wedding registry. I’ve got two middle names, you know. I only wrote down one. With a little, er, donation to the church, I’m sure we can have the marriage dissolved on the grounds that we were never actually married, according to the law.”

“Really? I… I hadn’t even noticed,” Ellen admitted, trying to think back to that day over three years ago. “Well, that does make things easier.” She paused, the implications that this could truly happen running through her mind.

Oddly, she thought of something Duchess Bolton had said when she’d discussed this with her friends. “Do you have someone… someone else in your life? Someone who you’d like to marry or with whom you are planning to travel?”

“No. No!” He looked shocked.

“Oh, it’s all right if you did. It would explain why you didn’t, for example, ask me whether I wanted to travel with you instead of dissolving our marriage.”

His face went blank for a moment, and then his mouth dropped open. Ellen nearly laughed at his surprise. “You would… you would want to come with me?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve been thinking I want to travel, to explore the wider world a little.”

“Really? But you’ve always… well, you’ve always stayed at home. I didn’t think you would be interested…”

“I stayed home because I didn’t think I had any choice in the matter. But I do now, don’t I?”

“Yes, of course you do.”

“Would you mind?” she asked, tilting her head a little.

“No, of course not. I’ve enjoyed being with you. I do have to tell you that I don’t have a lot of money. I was thinking of working and traveling, then working more until I had enough money to live a more itinerant life.”

“But… oh, you won’t have the income from your estate if you leave it with your cousin. Of course! But I have money. I inherited from my parents and then… well, I suppose I’ll lose my widow’s portion now that you’re alive.” Ellen hadn’t even given much thought to her financial situation now that he was back.

“Don’t you worry about that. I will make sure you keep it. It really wouldn’t be fair to ask you to give that up. I will speak with my cousin to ensure that you have enough to live on comfortably.”

“Thank you, but I don’t know that you’ll have a say in the matter.”

He ran a hand through his hair again. “To be honest, neither do I, but I’ll do my best.”

“So…” Ellen said, suddenly feeling rather exhausted.

“So… I’ll get started tomorrow with the solicitors.”

“And I will give you a definitive answer soon whether I’ll travel with you. I just need… I need a little time to think about it.”

He gave a nod. “Of course.”

“And you’ll stay here, naturally,” Ellen said quickly.

“Thank you. I will, but just for a day or two to get things moving, and then, as I said, I’d like to go visit my mother. She’s still at Seaford, isn’t she?”

Ellen nodded. “In the dower’s cottage.”

He winced. “My father?” His words were quiet, and Ellen’s heart went out to him. He didn’t know…

“I’m so sorry.” It was all she could say. She’d forgotten that he didn’t know of his father’s passing.

He shook his head and forced a smile to his lips. “I shouldn’t be surprised. I’ll go…” He paused, blinking a few times. “I’ll go visit his grave.”

“I know your mother will be thrilled to have you back.”

“Just so long as I don’t make her heart fail when she sees me.”

“You wrote?”

“I did.”

“Then she knows. If her heart didn’t fail upon receiving your letter—and I didn’t hear that it did—she’ll be very pleased to see you.” Ellen tried to be as encouraging as she could. This had to be so difficult for him. On the other hand, it wasn’t going to be easy for any of them.

~May 14~

Ellen had spent a sleepless night thinking about the monumental opportunity that had suddenly landed in her lap. Ideas had gone round and round in her head—the excitement of travel, the possibilities it could bring. But then… she’d be with Richard who, well, to be absolutely honest with herself, she didn’t love. She’d married him for convenience and to make his mother happy. But did she want to give up the prospect of spending the rest of her life with someone she did love just so she could travel? And was she willing to keep Richard from finding his own love? She just didn’t know.

Ellen shook her head, determined to go on with her day and set aside such difficult decisions for later. The footman made this easier by setting a note from Lord Pennyston next to her plate at breakfast. The thought of him always brought a smile to her lips and joy to her heart.

“Good news, I take it?” Richard asked from the other end of the table.

Ellen started. Somehow, she’d completely forgotten he was there! How she could ever have done that, she couldn’t imagine. Having him here in the house… well, he was a presence . But reading Lord Pennyston’s note, thinking about him… he had made Richard completely disappear—until her husband asked about the contents of the note.

She looked up at him, forcing the smile to stay on her lips. “Just a friend’s invitation to go out for a drive this afternoon.” She folded it and got up. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll go reply that I am available—unless you need me for anything?”

“No, not at all. You go and enjoy yourself. I’ve got a full day with solicitors to look forward to.”

“Oh, dear. I hope that goes well for you.”

He nodded and returned his attention to the newspaper.

She was waiting on the doorstep when Lord Pennyston drove up to collect her that afternoon.

“Am I late?” he asked, as he handed her up into his carriage.

“No, not at all.” She arranged her skirt while he walked around and climbed up the other side.

“Then is there a reason you were waiting for me outside?” he asked, giving her a little teasing smile.

She had resisted the urge to giggle under his attention. Sadly, just thinking of why she was outside completely destroyed all the humor within her.

“Oh dear, from your expression I take it it’s not good news,” he said, returning his attention to his driving.

“Well, it is and it isn’t.”

“Do you think you could explain a little more fully?”

She smiled. “You remember I told you my husband died in his first skirmish?”

“Yes.”

“Well, it turns out he didn’t.”

Lord Pennyston’s head whipped around to look at her. “What?”

“I received a letter from him a couple of days ago, and yesterday he actually showed up on my doorstep. He must have left immediately after posting the letter,” she explained.

“So… so your husband is alive and… and back?”

Ellen felt as upset as he looked. “Yes, and he’s given me two choices—either I leave England and go traveling around the world with him, or we end our marriage.”

“My God! What a choice!”

“I know.” She couldn’t even look at him. Why her eyes were filling with tears, she couldn’t imagine. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t been thinking about this continuously for the past twenty-four hours, ever since Richard had given her the choice. “To be fair, he simply asked for the dissolution of our marriage, so he could go traveling, but then I told him that I have been wanting to travel some myself. So, he asked if I wanted to join him,” she explained—she owed him that much. Utter and complete honesty. She dared peek in his direction to see how he was taking this.

He had his eyes focused straight ahead but didn’t seem to be actually watching where they were going. They passed straight by the gate to Hyde Park, but Ellen didn’t say a word.

*

Christopher had completely dismissed the fact that Lady Moreton was married—because she wasn’t. She was a widow.

Only now, it seemed she was married after all.

And he’d kissed her!

He wanted to do so again. But she was married ! And her husband was not only alive but here, in London. “I should turn around,” he said as much to himself as to her.

“I was wondering if you’d seen that you missed the gate,” she said with a little laugh.

“What? Did I? Oh!” He looked around and realized he had no memory of even passing the park. “No, I meant… Does your husband know I’ve taken you driving this afternoon?”

“Oh, yes. I told him I was going out to the park with a friend. He’s with his solicitors all day.”

A friend. Bloody hell, that hurt almost as much as knowing her husband was still alive!

Was that all he was to her? A friend? He’d wanted to be more—how much more even he didn’t know—but definitely more. With a start, Christopher realized that he loved this woman.

He’d known so many women in his life, intimately, but never had he felt anything even remotely close to what he felt for Lady Moreton. Ellen. Now that he couldn’t have her, he thought he loved her? No, he realized, it had been growing for some time now. He’d probably loved her the night he’d first kissed her.

But to her, he was a friend. Christopher cleared his throat. “Well, then, as a friend I have to ask, are you planning on traveling with your husband? I assume you will, since you suggested the option rather than ending your marriage.”

“I don’t know. Truly, I’ve been thinking of nothing else. Do I want to travel with him because I don’t want to end our marriage? Or do I simply want to travel, and he’s providing me with a way to do so. It’s gone ‘round my head so many times, but I seem to be no closer to an answer.”

“Well, you did say you wanted more adventure in your life,” he pointed out. He also noticed that she said nothing of wanting to stay with her husband because she loved him.

“Yes. I think I would like to travel. I’ve never been anywhere, Lord Pennyston. My entire life I’ve only been to Bath once. Lady Seaford brought me when she went to try the waters, and I’ve been here in London. That’s all. I’ve read about other people’s travels, and it has sounded wonderful, but I don’t know if I would enjoy it or not.” She sounded so distressed, Christopher’s heart went out to her. She was truly a sheltered woman who didn’t know what she wanted because… well, how could she?

An idea hit him. “I know what you can do, what we will do.”

She looked expectantly at him. “Travel?” she asked with a little laugh.

Goodness, but she was an amazing woman, finding humor even when she was so upset and faced with the most horrid decision. “No, but we can do the next best thing. There’s a panorama at Leicester Square called ‘The Wonders of Malta.’ I’ll take you.”

“Really?” Her eyes widened, and her mouth dropped opened a touch.

Christopher could feel his heart start to tear apart. What was he doing? He was helping her to see what a fascinating experience traveling was. He was practically pushing her into her husband’s arms when he could just as easily tell her—untruthfully—that there was really nothing to see outside of their shores. He could tell her to accept her husband’s request for an annulment of their marriage and then marry her himself. He could do that so easily and become the happiest man in England.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t do that to her—not when he knew she longed for adventure and wanted to experience more of the world. He, himself, knew that feeling. It was what made him join the army, and then transfer from Malta to where he would see action. He’d wanted to explore the world, to experience war, to test his mettle. He couldn’t deny Lady Moreton the same thing simply because he wanted her for himself. It wouldn’t be right.

So, instead of grabbing hold of her hands and kissing her so soundly she forgot she ever had a husband, he nodded solemnly and said, “I would be very happy to take you. You’ll see what Malta looks like and get a very small taste of what it might feel like to travel beyond our shores.”

She put a hand on his arm, the heat of it searing through his coat, shirt, and straight into his skin. “Thank you. You are too good to me, Lord Pennyston.”

He swallowed hard and gave her his best smile. “Now, what do you say we find our way back to the park and have the drive we were supposed to have in the first place?”