Page 20

ALIX

T he next ten seconds in the library unfold in slow motion, so much so that later, when I think back, I won’t be able to remember how it actually happened.

One second, Foulo has me pinned against the wall, strangling me by the chain of my necklace. I can’t get enough air to even scream, and black dots start creeping into my vision. I know I’m fucked. This is my third near-death experience since I arrived, and it seems like my luck has run out.

Then, a split second later, I hear the swoosh of a blade through the air. The pressure against my throat disappears, and I cough, sucking in a gasping breath at the same moment as something warm and gelatinous splatters my face. Something lands on the floor at my feet with a sickening wet thump, and I raise a confused hand to my cheek.

Then, Foulo lets out a bloodcurdling scream unlike anything I’ve ever heard before and stumbles back against the ground.

“I told you the next time you touched her, I’d make sure it was the fucking last!” Daemon roars, his face contorted with rage.

I don’t even know when he got here, and I don’t have the space in my head to think about it as I look down in horror at the severed arm lying on the floor at my feet, and the writhing, screaming man lying in a pool of his own blood, clutching the stump that has been severed just below the elbow.

Daemon leaps over Foulo and rushes toward me. His hands find my cheeks, smearing the spattered blood. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you? Alix!”

I open my mouth but nothing comes out. There is blood all over my face and a fucking arm on the floor.

There is an arm . On. The. Floor.

I open my mouth again and this time my scream joins Foulo’s. I stumble over the severed arm and sprint as fast as I can down the rows of shelves.

“Alix!” Daemon screams after me, evidently uncaring that Foulo will hear him call me by another name.

Still, I don’t stop.

I rush out of the library and make a quick right, rushing down the hall toward what I hope is the entrance hall. I haven’t spent nearly enough time exploring this castle, and what little I have seen, I’ve always been with a chaperone. It’s like being familiar with a route via GPS but getting lost when your phone dies. Without a guide, all these damn hallways look the same.

Finally, I find a set of stairs. I look behind me, expecting Daemon to be on my heels. He isn’t, but I still dash down the steps two at a time.

My breath heaves as I run.

Holy shit.

That wasn’t a normal reaction. I heard him threaten Foulo before, but I assumed he was being hyperbolic. Now my heart is pounding with fear, my skin is coated with blood, and all I keep wondering is if this is normal behavior for the Fae, or if Daemon is actually fucking insane.

Unlike him, I don’t like crazy.

I reach the bottom of the stairs and again I have no idea where I am—still, I don’t stop. I sprint down another unfamiliar hallway and thankfully find a door outside. I throw it open and find myself on the backside of the castle.

I stare out at a snow-covered lawn. In the distance is a line of trees and before thinking it through, I dash toward it.

I’m not dressed for the outdoors and cold nips at my skin as I sprint through the snow. My gown trails behind me and my feet push easily through the hard crust of the snow, until suddenly my foot hits against something hard and solid. I slip and slide forward a few feet, my arms spinning to regain my balance.

I somehow stay on my feet. I look down, all too aware that I’m standing on solid ice.

I stop, both to catch my breath and because I’m not sure where to go next.

Now, the completely flat lawn just behind the palace makes more sense. It’s not a lawn—it’s a lake, currently frozen underneath a layer of ice and frost.

I know I need to get off here. I don’t know how frozen the water is, but I can’t imagine it’s solid since it takes less than an hour by horse to reach a far warmer climate.

Worse, the blood splatter is mingling with my sweat and dripping down my face. It lands in the bright white snow like dozens of vicious rubies.

I heave in and out, trying to calm my breath. But then, before I’ve decided what to do, the door to the castle bursts open behind me.

I don’t need to look to know who’s behind me.

And I don’t look—I swallow my heaving breath and start running again as far away from the castle and the Fae as I can manage.

“Alix, stop!” Daemon commands.

I don’t stop.

The sky is dark as always, but the moon casts a bright indigo glow over the ice. I dart across the frozen pond, my gown fanning out behind me, praying with every step the ice doesn’t crack.

Quick footsteps pound through the snow behind me.

I look back. I should have known better than to think I could outrun one of the Fae. He runs so fast it’s like he’s flying.

Then, just as suddenly, he is. His wings unfurl and he smoothly goes from sprinting to gliding in one swift movement. His hand reaches out to grab for me.

My feet slip out from under me, and in slow motion, I fall back, my head cracking against the ice. An explosion of pain radiates through my skull,and an involuntary cry escapes my lips, echoing in the cold, empty air.

Daemon looks furious as he lands over me, his blood-covered hands crashing into the ice on either side of me and making crimson stamps against the white. His eyes dart to mine like he’s searching for something in my eyes. “Are you hurt? Did he fucking touch you?”

My lip trembles and I shake my head. “No.” The pain in my skull is throbbing, but that’s the last thing I want to tell him.

“Then why are you running? I handled it, he’s–” He breaks off, clearly seeing the answer to his question in my eyes. His gaze turns dark, his pupils dilating to the point that the green is nearly eclipsed by black. “Tell me, Peaches. Are you afraid of me?”

Yes.

No…

I’m not sure.

I shake my head again, but he must read the conflict in my eyes because his angry expression doesn’t change. He leans even closer so we’re sharing the same air. “I told you, I will always protect you. I warned him that the next time he touched you would be the last. You should have always known this is who I am.”

“Which is what—a psychopath?” I blurt out, finding my voice again.

Daemon’s eyes snap to my mouth for half a second, before he looks me straight in the eye. “Maybe. But only when it comes to you.”

A spark of excitement shoots through me, and I let out a gasp.

There is something seriously fucking wrong with me.

Clearly, he’s unhinged. A moment ago, I was running for my life, but now all I can think about is how close we are. The entire length of his body presses into mine, and the sensation is intense—freezing cold on one side and pulsing heat on the other.

My entire body begins to tremble, and my pulse pounds in my throat and…lower. Without really meaning to, I shift my hips against him. I feel him growing hard against me and heat floods my core in response.

“Are you afraid of me?” he repeats.

“Yes.”

I’m fucking terrified of him, but not because I think he’ll hurt me. I’m scared because I’m starting to believe he won’t.

To my surprise, he grins. “Good. If you knew half the things I’ve thought about doing to any male who looks at you, you should be afraid. As long as I’m breathing, no one will fucking touch you, because I’ll kill them and fuck you in their blood.”

Jesus Christ.

A tiny whimper escapes my lips and I’m not sure if it’s fear or desire…or both. There’s no room for questions or doubt in my mind anymore after a statement like that. He wants me, but…

“What about the king?” I ask, barely more than a whisper.

“What about him?” he growls, pressing himself even more firmly against me.

“You brought me here for him. What do you think is going to happen if we stay engaged?”

His expression twists in rage once more, and his wings unfurl behind him. His hand shifts to hold on to my hair as he brings our faces even closer together. “You’re fucking mine, Alix, and no one but me will ever touch you again.”

At that exact moment, a deafening crack sounds through the air, making sleeping birds take flight in the nearby trees. The ice breaks beneath me, and I scream as the ground literally falls out from under me and I drop into dark icy water.

DAEMON

In a split second, the haze of lust and rage that had been warring inside my head clears. Ever since I heard Alix scream in the library, I haven’t been able to think straight, but all of that disappears the moment I see her fall below the surface of the water.

My hand is still in her hair, and it begins to slip through my fingers so fast I just barely have a moment to hold on.

I plunge my arms into the frigid water, grabbing on to whatever I can reach. Fuck, it’s colder than Dyaspora, and the bitter frost sinks into my skin, seeming to freeze my bones. If it’s doing that to me, I can’t imagine what it’s done to Alix.

My fingers close around the neck of her gown and I haul her toward me. She’s not moving or thrashing, and fear shoots through me.

“Alix!” I drag her out of the water with a huge splash and lay her on the ice.

She coughs and blinks at me and I’ve never been so relieved in my life.

But only a moment later, the relief disappears.

Her lips are blue, her skin too pale, and within seconds, she’s shaking violently.

My heart pounding against my ribs, I gather her up in my arms and launch into the sky.

Alix’s room has a balcony overlooking the city, and it’s far faster to fly there than to run back through the castle.

I land and cross the balcony in two strides. I can’t move my fingers to unlock the double doors with magic, so I just shoulder them open, uncaring about the splintering glass and wood.

We drip water onto the floor as I stride across the room to the bathing chamber.

“I’m going to put you down,” I tell her. “I have to start the bath.”

For a moment, she doesn’t say anything, but then as I lower her to the ground and turn away, she extends a hand to stop me. “Wait. No.” Her teeth chatter with every word. “Just help me get this dress off.”

I glance at the laces of her dress for less than a second before deciding it’s not worth the effort. Grabbing the fabric with both hands, I tear it directly down the center.

The heavy gown slides off her shoulders, and Alix shrugs it off, letting the fabric pool on the floor.

Underneath, she’s wearing a thin slip over a corset, stockings and lacy pink bloomers. Immediately she begins shucking those off as well, her hands shaking as she struggles to unlace her shoes and peel off her stockings.

Unsure how to help, I watch her, wide-eyed. All her clothes are now piled on the floor and she’s walking toward her room, entirely naked. I dash after her. “Where are you going? You could die if you don’t get warm.”

“I know,” she snaps.

She climbs into bed and pulls the blankets up over her head. The lump of blankets that is Alix shakes violently, her words coming out in chattering gasps. “If I get warm too quickly, I could have a heart attack. This is the best thing to do for hypothermia.”

“And you just know that off the top of your head?” I growl.

“Y-yes,” she chatters. “It’s just one of those things you learn as a kid. If you fall through ice, take all your clothes off and get warm slowly.”

I want to know what kind of childhood she had where that would be common knowledge. I feel completely helpless and it isn’t a feeling I’m familiar with.

“What do you need me to do?” I ask, almost desperately.

There’s a long pause, where she’s evidently thinking—or steeling herself for something. “Take your shirt off and get in here with me,” she says finally. “I need the body heat.”

I don’t even stop to question it. I peel off my shirt and kick my boots off before beginning to undo my belt. “Trousers too?” I ask the lump of shivering blankets.

Alix doesn’t answer, which I take to mean that she’s leaving the choice up to me. I take the belt off but leave the trousers on—hopefully they’ll serve as a reminder to myself that this isn’t an invitation to fuck her senseless.

I reach for the corner of her blanket. Alix lets go of the fabric, allowing me to draw it back and climb in beside her.

“Just put the blanket back over us and lie there,” she says.

I nod, but I already know it will be impossible to just lie here in silence. Instead, I gather her in my arms and place her shaking body over my chest. Alix barely protests as I replace the blanket.

It’s impossible not to be aware that she’s lying on top of me completely naked, the hard press of her nipples against my chest and her breath fluttering against my neck. If she weren’t shaking with cold, it would be impossible to keep my hands off her like this, but instead I just wrap both arms around her back and hold her tightly to me.

“Don’t let me fall asleep,” she mutters against my throat.

A shiver travels up my spine, but I force myself to ignore it. “How?”

I can already feel her body shivering less violently and her breathing evening out. She yawns. “I don’t know. Talk about something.”

I can’t think of anything to talk about except for how relieved I am that she’s alright—how I’m worried I might be becoming obsessed with her. I clear my throat. “Maybe you should do the talking if you’re the one who needs to stay awake.”

She doesn’t answer, and after a moment, I shake her violently. “Alix!” I say loudly in her ear. “Come on, talk to me. Tell me how you know what to do if you fall through ice.”

She yawns again, but I see her eyelids flutter. “Where I grew up, it wasn’t cold all year but the winters could be really bad. I liked ice skating.”

I nod. I remember seeing children ice skating from my years living in the human realm. “Did you fall in?”

She shakes her head. “No, but my dad used to take me down to a pond near our house and he was really paranoid that the ice might break. Before I could go skating, he’d always jump around to check for thin spots, then he’d remind me what to do if I ever fell in.” She laughs softly. “I guess he was right to worry about it.”

I let out a long breath. I’m grateful to this man I don’t even know and never will for teaching Alix to take care of herself. Then, my stomach lurches and I abruptly remember her words back at the inn when she woke up screaming from a nightmare. I watched my dad die. I dream about it sometimes—a lot of times, actually.

Fuck.

“How did your father die?” I ask, unable to hold in my curiosity.

For a long moment, she says nothing, then finally, “Horseback riding accident.”

I blanche. “How the hell did that happen?”

She sighs, and I can feel her tense. Clearly, she doesn’t like talking about this. “Whenever I say I saw my dad die, people always assume it was suicide or a car accident or something, and then I say how it happened and I end up having to explain that horses actually kill way more people than you’d think.” She stops to draw in a shaking breath, her teeth chattering. “There’s thousands of deaths every year. On average, you’d be far better off swimming with sharks or skydiving than getting too close to a horse.”

She doesn’t have to explain this to me. I’ve been riding since before I could walk, and if I was as fragile as a human, I probably wouldn’t be lying here now. Still, I feel her getting agitated and without really meaning to, I lift a hand and run it through her wet hair, dragging my nails over her scalp. She freezes and goes quiet, like she’s holding her breath, then finally exhales, relaxing. With another rattling breath she continues, speaking against my chest.

“For my sixth birthday, I wanted pony rides, but my mother is a chronic over-achiever, so instead, my parents took me on one of those trail rides for tourists where they strap a bunch of people who have never even seen a farm onto the backs of two-thousand-pound animals and send them off into the woods barely supervised.

“Long story short, I was six and I didn’t know you can’t walk close behind the horses or you could get kicked. I was standing close enough to get my skull bashed in when someone pointed it out to my dad. He tried to grab me and ended up getting kicked in the chest. He probably would have been fine but it triggered a heart attack from some dormant valve defect he didn’t know he had and he died in like ten seconds flat. It’s the only time I’ve ever seen my mother really upset about something that wasn’t herself.”

She falls silent and I’m frozen, my hand caught in her hair.

“I don’t know what to say,” I admit finally.

“That’s okay. No one really knows what to say to something like that, which is why I hate explaining it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she tries to brush it off.

My hand tightens in her hair and I force her to look up at me. “No, really. I’m really fucking sorry.” I shake my head. “And I’m especially sorry I made you get on a horse on your birthday. Fucking hell…”

She laughs, startling me. “Honestly, that was my fault. I didn’t want to disappoint anyone or explain?—”

“You wouldn’t have.”

“I know,” she says with a half-smile. “I’m working on not always assuming I’m the disappointment. Apparently, it’s a lifelong process or at least a thirty-one-year process because I’m not quite there yet.”

My head spins. How does she think she’s disappointing anyone? Especially now when she’s here risking her life to help a bunch of strangers, but even before that. I don’t understand how someone like Alix could ever feel that way.

“Do you still go skating?” I ask, just to break the silence.

She shakes her head again, her face brushing back and forth over my collarbone. “No. It’s just one of those things you do as a kid that you don’t have time for anymore when you grow up. I always thought if I had my own kids I’d do that sort of thing again, but that never happened so…”

“You don’t want kids?” I ask, just trying to keep her talking.

She laughs bitterly. “Sure, I do. Or, I did, but I’m thirty and I’m getting divorced.”

“So?”

She shifts around, repositioning her body over mine and crossing her arms under her head like a pillow. “It’ll probably take years to get all that finalized and before I want to start dating again. Then I’d have to be with someone for a few years before even considering getting remarried. And that’s all assuming I even make it back to my world at all. So, yeah…children are probably not an option for me.”

I know what she’s trying to say, but still an irrational feeling of jealousy shoots through me. I don’t want to imagine her returning to her world and finding some human to date and have children with.

Which I know is the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever thought. I’m the one who promised to help her go back home. Am I expecting her to never move on with her life? To never have a future just because I never will?

“You don’t need to worry about that,” I finally say, dully.

“Why?”

“Because you don’t have to age. You can just wear that necklace,” I say through my teeth. “If you wanted to, you could live forever just as you are now.”

She freezes.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing…I just remembered how we even got here in the first place.”

Fuck. I shouldn’t have brought up the necklace. Now she’s back to thinking about fucking Foulo.

My eyes flick to the faint red line on her throat just below the golden chain of her locket. Rage bubbles up in my throat. “If you’re waiting for an apology, don’t.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Good, because I’m not going to be fucking sorry for saving your life.”

She rises up slightly and looks at me, her arms coming to rest on my chest. Her hair is still dripping, but at least her lips are no longer blue and her shaking has gone from rocking tremors to the occasional shiver. When she glares at me, her gaze is steady and alert. “Thank you for doing that, but it was still crazy. I mean, you can’t just…kill people.”

“Like Foulo would have killed you?” I snap. “Make no mistake, Alix, he would have killed you.”

“I think he just wanted the necklace. I don’t know why, but he said something about proving I’m not Isabelle and then he grabbed the locket.”

“Don’t be naive. Even if that’s all he wanted, he wouldn’t have hesitated to kill you in the process. You’re so incredibly fragile compared to us. He could and would have strangled you by accident and wouldn’t have felt a shred of remorse over it.”

She looks conflicted. “Yeah, but you…”

“Handled it,” I growl. “And I didn’t even kill him, so I don’t know why we’re arguing about it.”

She looks confused. “You cut off his arm and left him there to bleed out.”

“I don’t know how to make you understand that we’re not like you. I can’t die from cold and Foulo isn’t going to die from blood loss. He lost his arm, but I’m quite sure he’s still alive and it’s only because I’m here with you that I haven’t gone back to finish him.”

She gasps. “So not only are you not sorry, but now you’re planning murder.”

I narrow my eyes. “Of course. Do you really think it’s just going to end there? He’s licking his wounds right now but he knows there’s something off about you. I have to get rid of him.”

She shakes her head. “No. That can’t be how things are done here, that’s…”

“Crazy?” I finish for her, using her favorite description.

“Exactly.”

“Why do you think I’m here?” I ask her.

“Right now?” She falters and glances at her bare chest pressed against mine. A flush rises to her cheeks. “I don’t know, I?—”

“Not right now,” I interrupt. “Why do you think I’m always with you? Because Thorne knows that Isabelle could be in danger and wants me to stop anyone who tries to hurt her.”

“Stop, okay, but?—”

I let out a frustrated breath. “Again, what do you think ‘ stop ’ means? You can use endless euphemisms, but the reality is that it’s my job to kill anyone who even thinks about hurting you. We don’t usually arrest people in Ellender, we kill them. It’s far quicker and easier than sending someone to Dyaspora. That’s all there is to it.”

Her brow furrows, and I can feel her pulse pick up, drumming against my chest. “So that’s why you did what you did? Because it’s your job?”

I freeze. Fuck, we’re back here again.

Why am I doing this? What do I want from her? Is all this because I need her to keep being Isabelle, or is it because the thought of anyone putting a hand on her makes me so fucking crazy I can’t think straight. I don’t know how to answer her, and I’m afraid if I try, I'll say too much.

Except, that hardly matters anymore. Because I’ve already said it, haven’t I? I’ve already told her how obsessed I am with her, and all I can do now is hope she thinks it’s nothing more than lust.

“Please don’t murder Foulo,” Alix says. “I don’t want that on my conscience.”

“But—”

“Unless he attacks you first,” she adds. “Then, I guess it’s self-defense. Just don’t hunt him down.”

“But he knows you’re not Isabelle.”

“No, he suspects I’m not, but there’s got to be an easier way to deal with that than literal fucking murder. I’ll just tell Thorne I developed a fear of horses. That’s true, anyway.”

I hum, considering her request. Tentatively, silently, I let my hand trail over her back and brush over the base of her spine, inches from her round ass. “Fine, Peaches. You win. I won’t hunt him down, but if he or anyone else ever touches you again I won’t just kill them, I’ll burn down the fucking kingdom.”

Her breath catches, and her eyes dart to my mouth. She draws her tongue nervously over her own bottom lip and suddenly I can’t think of anything else besides how badly I want to sink my own teeth into that lip.

I can hear her heart beat, nearly as loud as my own pounding in my ears.

And I’m lost.

My already precarious self-control shatters, and all I can do is pray that I’m not about to damn the entire kingdom in exchange for a few moments of ecstasy.

I don’t know who starts it.

Alix leans down at the same moment as I’m rising up to kiss her. I love tasting her, feeling her lips against mine and drawing every little sound I can from the back of her throat.

She whimpers softly, and it’s like a spark of adrenaline to my system. I reach up and grip the back of her neck, holding her to me as I roll, flipping her onto her back.

Holy fuck.

I’ve been trying to compartmentalize my thoughts the entire time she’s laid on top of me, not allowing myself to dwell on the feel of her bare skin on mine or how goddamn perfect every inch of her body is, but now, she’s spread out in front of me, ready and all fucking mine.

“Are you warm enough?” I ask roughly.

She shakes her head. “Not yet, but I’m sure you can handle that.”

Fuck me.

I lean back on my heels, looking at her as I throw the blankets off us. My eyes trace down her body slowly, imagining the path I’m going to follow with my tongue. She squirms under my gaze, her face and chest flushing.

“You’re so fucking perfect,” I say under my breath.

He blush deepens, turning her pale skin scarlet, like the blood on the ice.

My cock is painfully hard, straining against my trousers. I’ve never been more grateful for the forethought of keeping them on, because otherwise this would be over far too quickly.

I put two fingers into my mouth and suck for a moment, before reaching down and drawing them through her folds. Fuck me, I didn’t need to bother sucking my fingers—she’s so goddamn wet already. Wet and ready and waiting for me.

I draw my fingers over her a few more times, and she whimpers louder and shifts her hips, chasing my touch. “More.”

I oblige and watch her face carefully as I rub lightly, cataloging her reactions and searching for the spot she likes best. I get the impression that the asshole she was married to never took the time to figure out what she likes, and maybe because of that she doesn’t know what she likes either. I want to try everything I can think of with her, and spend eternity figuring out how best to make her scream my name.

I press my fingers into her entrance and she moans. I smile with satisfaction and push my fingers in deeper—just two, then a third. She rocks her hips against my hand, trying to force me to move faster and deeper. It gives me an idea.

I stop moving. “Fuck yourself.”

She blinks. “Excuse me? Fuck you too.”

I laugh, but the humor doesn’t last long as I look down at her. She’s so goddamn beautiful it pisses me off. I hold my fingers still, just barely grazing her entrance. “No, I want you to fuck yourself on my fingers. I want to watch you come before I’ve barely even touched you.”

She gasps and blinks at me. I watch the calculation take place behind her eyes. She’s wondering if I’m serious, and probably if she’s willing to let go of her broken self-image long enough to find out if she likes this.

I half expect her to shrink away, but instead she keeps her eyes on mine as she rolls her hips and slides an inch lower on my hand. She rolls her hips again, rising back up, then sinks even deeper.

Holy fucking shit.

My fingers disappear inside her and my cock throbs painfully, growing somehow even harder. I didn’t think this would turn me on as much as her, but there’s something so charged about seeing her use me to get herself off.

I drag my tongue over my teeth and watch, memorizing every inch of her. My gaze locks on her clit, right in front of me, practically begging to be stroked. I can’t stop myself from reaching over with my free hand and grazing the pad of my thumb over it, rubbing lightly.

A shiver travels through her entire body and she stops rolling her hips. “Oh my god.”

“Don’t stop,” I command.

“I can’t take this,” she whimpers. “I need you inside me.”

I close my eyes for a moment. Holy fuck, when she says things like that…

“Not yet,” I tell her. “I want you begging for my cock.”

“I am,” she replies flatly. “Seriously. I don’t even care how that sounds. I need you to fuck me.”

“Earn it. Show me how you come apart pretending you’re riding my cock.”

When she doesn’t move, I flick her clit hard. She lets out a hiss and starts rolling her hips again, fucking my fingers like she’s picturing riding me.

I smile and lean over her, grazing my mouth over her throat and down to her breasts before sucking one tight nipple into my mouth. I roll it back and forth with my tongue for a moment, but it’s not enough. I want to taste her and see if it’s as fucking sweet as I remember.

I duck my head and give her no warning before pressing my mouth to her clit.

She gasps, arching her back and letting her eyes flutter close. “Yes, more.”

I suck hard, swirling my tongue and getting high on every tiny sound I can wrench from her. She moves her hips faster, rolling against my mouth and my hand, as her breath comes faster.

“Are you imagining me fucking you?” I ask between licks.

“Yes,” she pants.

“How does it feel?”

“So good—Oh my God! Please, fuck me. I want to come with you inside me.”

God, I want that too, and I’ll have it, but first, I want to taste her orgasm.

I give up on not moving my hands, and fuck her faster, lapping hard, while she rolls her hips completely out of control.

I curl my fingers inside her, stroking over her inner walls, and she screams. Her hips rise, her back arches off the bed, and her taste floods my month. I feel her squeezing my fingers and shaking, tremors rocking through her for several long seconds after she finally flops back down, exhausted.

I wait for a long moment, staring down in satisfaction at her limp body. Then her eyes flutter open again, and she’s looking up at me.

She sits up and scrambles over to me, her hands falling to my shoulders as she climbs into my lap. She straddles my waist and I don’t bother to keep my hard cock from pressing into her center.

“Jesus fucking Christ, you’re better than a rose toy,” she mutters, bringing her lips a mere hairsbreadth from my mouth.

“A what?”

She laughs. “Never mind. I guess you wouldn’t have to invent vibrators if all Fae are as good at sex.”

A possessive anger flares to life in the back of my mind. “I don’t want you even thinking about other Fae.”

She grazes her mouth lightly against mine. “I’m not.”

I grip her ass and jerk her closer, pressing her body down until I’m sure she can feel how hard I am. “You’re mine,” I growl in her ear. “No one else will ever touch you or feel you come. Every part of your pleasure belongs to me.”

She moans and grinds down against me. “Whatever you want.”

She fastens her mouth to my throat and trails kisses up to the point of my ear, but I can’t focus. I should feel calmer, hearing her agree not to let anyone else touch her, but I don’t. I don’t recognize this feeling, like I don’t just want to possess her, but I need her to know. To say it. To swear on her life that she belongs to me, and I belong to her.

I have no idea where this is coming from. I’ve never felt any sense of ownership or responsibility over any of my partners, and I don’t have any right to claim possession of this woman especially.

Alix grinds down on me again and I try to push the thoughts away, to focus on slipping back inside her and making her come once more on my cock.

I reach down between us to undo my pants, but out of the corner of my eye, something makes me stop. I turn just my head and look at the window.

Fuck.

There’s a tiny pink haze illuminating the tree line in the distance and turning the black sky indigo.

“Alix,” I breathe. Then when she doesn’t seem to hear me, I repeat louder, “Alix!”

She pulls back, her hands still around my neck. Her lips are swollen from kissing, her face flushed and eyes bright. “What’s wrong?”

My stomach twists painfully and my mind races just from looking at her, but I force myself to keep my voice steady. “The sun is coming up.”

Her eyes widen in shock and panic, and she whips her head around to the window. “Oh shit.”

Oh shit is right.

I nudge her back and she climbs off my lap. I run a hand through my hair, glancing from Alix to the window and back.

Could I risk it just to stay here with her?

No, of course not—what am I thinking? I don’t know what I might do under the influence of the sun, when there will be nothing in my mind except pure instinct. I could hurt her somehow, I could?—

But a larger part of me knows that I’d never hurt Alix; I might do something worse. I might claim her, take her as mine for real, forever. I’m sure that if I was ever to be with her when my own thoughts weren’t getting in the way and there was nothing stopping me from doing exactly what I’m meant to do, all I would care about was protecting her and keeping her forever.

Which is why I have to leave.

I leap up from the bed, reaching for my trousers, murmuring curses under my breath. Alix sits up, but doesn’t say anything to stop me. She’s not an idiot, she knows that I can’t stay here, but she doesn’t understand why.

I glance toward the door to her room and run my fingers through my hair again. “Fuck, I can’t sleep out there.”

“Uh, you could go back to your room…” she says. “I’m sure I’d be fine.”

I look at her wildly. She doesn’t understand. There’s not a chance in the world I’ll be able to fall asleep right now, and short of chaining myself to the wall I know I’ll find my way back to her.

“I’ll—” I start to say something but clamp my mouth shut. Whatever is about to come out of my mouth right now can’t be said.

I turn on my heel and march out of her room, slamming the door behind me so loudly that I’m surprised the hinges don’t break.

I stride down the hall at double the speed I’d normally walk, buttoning my trousers as I go. I left my shirt and shoes in Alix’s room, but I don’t care—not even when I pass several courtiers rushing back to their quarters before dawn. All of them stop, clearly forgetting what they’re doing as they stare at me in shock.

I drag my hand through my hair in frustration and break into a jog, then a sprint. In seconds, I reach the door to the barracks and I burst inside, eyes wild. “Kas!”

Every bed is full, as all the soldiers have returned from their posts before dawn, but I ignore everyone as I march down the row of beds in search of Kastian.

At the end of the row, he sits up abruptly in bed. His dark eyes dart over me, taking everything in at once. “Daemon, what the fuck?”

“I need you to guard Alix.”

“Of course.” He rises from his bed, looking confused. “But what?—”

“And I need you to lock me in here before you go.”

He glances around the barracks. “In here? Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

I don’t have time to talk when I’ve already thought through the end of the conversation. I’m already striding down the length of the barracks again and marching into the attached bathing chamber.

Kastian darts after me. “Are you out of your mind?”

“Yes. Probably.” I step into the bathing room. “Lock me in here. Then guard Alix.”

“Why?” he demands.

“Just trust me,” I beg, glancing again at the window where the pink tinge to the sky is getting steadily brighter. “ Please. ”

Kas nods. “Fine.”

I let out a relieved sigh as he steps back and closes the bathing room door behind him. I wait a long second, then finally I hear a key turn in the lock and the sound of wood against the floor as Kas pushes something in front of the door. Hopefully that will be enough.

With an angry sigh, I sink onto the floor and try to lean against the wall.

Only then, do I realize my wings are out. I don’t remember releasing them, but that explains the strange looks I got in the hall and from Kastian. I know immediately what they’re all thinking—what I’d be thinking if this were happening to anyone else. But it’s impossible. No matter how I feel, Alix isn’t really mine. She’s not my bond—she doesn’t even belong here.

Shaking my head, I fold the wings around myself and lean against the wall, watching the sunrise outside the windows.

When it finally does, I’ve never been so grateful for the moment that the curse takes over and my mind shuts off.