Page 43 of A Taste like Sin

Something that makes you unafraid to bare your skin yet causes you to flinch when I touch you, even

as you moan. I believe it is deeply rooted in why you’ve remained alone for so long. One of the

reasons I asked for your trust was in the hopes that we can both learn what is really troubling you.”

Something more than the past, he seems to imply.

“We can discuss it further after you eat,” he adds, gesturing to the doorway.

A waiter appears as if on cue, carrying the caliber of fare I’ve come to expect from a man with his

taste: an entrée of expertly seared steak on a bed of fresh greens paired with a serving of wine to

wash it all down.

I sample everything, tasting nothing. Eventually, I find myself watching Damien more than anything

else. He manipulates a fork and a knife, mechanically chewing every now and again, but I’m not

fooled by his air of indifference. I sense that his full attention is on me. Listening to every scrape of

my utensils over my plate, tracking how much I consume.

He’s studying me, compiling a dossier of my behavior that I bet contains far more secrets than the one

I discovered in my father’s office.

“All right.” Sighing, I finally set my fork aside. “So, what if I lied before?” I try my damn hardest to

sound nonchalant. Like these words don’t matter—when, in reality, they symbolize everything. “About

why I’m still a virgin. What if Simondoeshave everything to do with it?”

“¿Sí?” He copies me and carefully dabs at his mouth with the tip of an ivory napkin. “Then I would be

assured that my skills of deduction haven’t drastically degraded within the span of twenty-four

hours,” he says. “Tell me the truthpor favor.”

“It’s childish,” I admit. “But…I’ve never stopped seeing his shadow everywhere I look. And I’ve

always thought, even though I know it’s ridiculous…” Tears sting my eyes and I frantically blink them

back. “I-I can’t stop…”

“Go on,” Damien encourages.

“I’ve always felt that if I let anyone else in… One day, they’ll leave and it may prove him right. All

along, I wasn’t worth it. Leslie should have lived, not me.” I choke out a watery laugh, but I know

even he can sense the tears I can’t keep from falling. “My virginity, as stupid as it sounds, was one of

the few fucking things that was alwaysmine.No one else’s. My parents, my innocence, my friend—

I’ve lost everything else. I can’t lose any more. Not to him.”

“I’m sorry.” Damien pushes back from the table. “Perhaps I did miscalculate. I am not the man you