Page 94 of A Swirl of Shadows
The American’s eyes flicked downward for an instant, and then up again as she forced a laugh. “Oh, really, it was nothing. Simply an unexpected sequence of the cards that doesn’t bear repeating.”
Her gaze flicked down again.
Arianna’s heartbeat began to quicken.Oh, surely not—the cards couldn’t be that bewitched.
“From all the rumors I have heard about Lord Grentham, I wouldn’t have imagined that he had a heart to lose,” went on Mrs. Schuyler, quickly changing the subject. “But you and your husband seemed pleased.”
“The match is based on mutual trust and understanding,” answered Arianna. “So yes, I think they both will be very happy.”
“Excellent! I shall look forward to the minister making good on his promise to pop the cork on a bottle of champagne tonight.”
This time, Arianna didn’t attempt to stop Mrs. Schuyler as the American resumed her descent down the ladder and quickly disappeared within the flapping canvas hanging from the sailmaker’s racks. Her own thoughts were racing in quite a different direction.
Suddenly feeling a little overwhelmed by the rush of revelations, she decided to go down to the quiet of their cabin, rather than return to the others.
After lighting the small lantern, Arianna lay down on the narrow bunk and laced her hands behind her head, the creaks and groans of the hull lulling her into a strangely meditative state of mind.
The Cosmos is in constant flux.Mrs. Schuyler’s faux-mystical words seemed to echo off the dark-grained oak—
“Are you feeling unwell, my love?”
“Just a little fatigued from all the excitement,” she answered.
He sat down on the edge of the bunk, his big body swaying in tune with the rolling rhythm of the ship cutting through the waves.
“Would you like to tell me what’s really bothering you?” he asked above the muted hiss and gurgle of the water.
“It’s not precisely a bother, merely an uncertainty,” answered Arianna. She had intended to keep her thoughts to herself a little longer. But since she had given herself away, she wouldn’t shy away from the truth if he pressed her for an answer. He deserved no less.
“Uncertainties sometimes take a sharper clarity when shared,” he replied after considering her words.
So, he is leaving it up to me.A difficult decision, she reflected.
Only to realize in the next moment that it wasn’t.
“I can’t be sure yet, so I was going to wait for a bit before telling you . . .”
The lantern swung on its bracket, throwing his face into shadow. “You think you may be . . . with child?”
“Yes.” There, she had said it. “But . . .”
He found her hands and clasped them between his palms. “But what?”
Arianna released a pent-up breath, the chill in her heart giving way to the warmth of his touch. “But I fear that I may once again disappoint you,” she admitted. “And disappoint myself.”
Saybrook didn’t respond right away, save to gently press his flesh against hers.
It was a comforting feeling, and she felt her anxiety ebbing away.
“I have a suggestion,” he said. “Amidst all of Mrs. Schuyler’s flummery were some elemental grains of Truth. The Cosmos is in constant flux—in other words, Life is unpredictable. And much as we might wish otherwise, many things are simply beyond our control.”
The light was back and playing over the chiseled planes of his face. “So let us pledge to each other that whatever happens, we won’t blame ourselves.”
“Will you also promise not to hover and treat me like a piece of delicate porcelain on the verge of shattering at any moment? It makes me feel helpless and on edge.”
He nodded. “Fair enough. If in return you promise not to let the blue devils get the best of you. For that makes me feel exactly the same.”
“No hovering, no blue devils,” she agreed, as he enfolded her in his arms. “Rather than dwelling in the shadows of the past, we will look to the light of the future.”
Arianna smiled. “And to the joys that lie ahead, whatever they may be.”