Page 46 of A Star is Scorned

“I took Judy to an audition for Macbeth at the Bowl, and they cast me instead. I felt so guilty. But she insisted I take the part. I was only meant to be an understudy, until the actress playing Lady Macbeth got offered a big movie role. Harry Evets saw the play, and well, here I am.”

“I’m surprised you agreed to make the picture.”

“Judy was vehement that I take the opportunity. She won me over when she insisted that it would get her closer to her own dreams. I realized she was right. There was no way we could afford to move to Los Angeles otherwise. And I did enjoy playing Lady Macbeth. It was the first time I’d spent that much time luxuriating in language and words since I stopped writing.

Plus, it meant I didn’t have to send her off on a Greyhound bus hoping for the best. I could go with her and keep an eye on her. ”

Flynn bit his lip, seeming to debate if he should say something. “Judy is eighteen years old now. The same age you were when you said you should have known better. Maybe it’s time you let her make some of her own mistakes.”

Livvy took another sip of her wine and pondered Flynn’s words. “I’m not sure if I know how to do that.”

“Well, the good news is you’re dating the most irresponsible man in Hollywood.” He winked at her. “People tell me I’m a bad influence.”

Livvy rolled her eyes. “And you love that they do. Besides, I’m here tonight, aren’t I? Instead of at home, pacing the living room floor and waiting for Judy to get home from set.”

“See?” He shrugged. “It’s already working.”

She laughed again. “It’s not that I want to be the mother hen, but I don’t know how to be any other way.

Even when she was little, I took care of her.

I took her to her first dance classes when our mother refused.

It’s always been the two of us. She needs me.

” Livvy didn’t say the other part—that she had never taken the time to mourn her parents.

To sit with the grief of the loss. She needed Judy too.

Because if she wasn’t taking care of Judy, she might finally have to face her pain.

“She needs you to be her sister. Nothing less, nothing more. You’ve paid your penance. Forgive yourself, Livvy. I promise it’s worth it. If nothing else, let me be a testament to the power of a life lived without looking back.”

Livvy considered what he was saying. She knew that some part of him was right. Perhaps it was time to let go a little bit when it came to Judy. She had abnegated her own life, her own dreams to make sure that Judy was well.

It had been the right decision. And Judy was fine now.

Thriving, even. She had been trying to get Livvy to live her own life for over a year.

So maybe Judy had done more caretaking than she had realized.

Maybe they both had. And maybe it was time for a change.

But even the thought sent a shimmer of anxiety down her spine.

“I just worry about her. She’s all I have.”

Flynn took a meaningful sip of his wine and looked deeply into Livvy’s eyes. “You have me now too.”

The words pierced her heart. He had said this was real. Brought her here tonight for a romantic dinner. And yet—some part of her still didn’t trust it. “For how long, Flynn? Until you get bored? This is temporary. Harry designed it that way.”

His eyes flashed with something she couldn’t identify.

“Harry never intended our relationship to be real in the first place, and yet here we are.” He reached across the table and took her hand, knitting his fingers with hers.

She leaned forward, placing her chin on her hand and leaning on her elbow with her other arm. She didn’t want to miss a word of this.

“I’ve been running for a long time,” he continued.

“For any number of reasons. To make my father angry. To live the life my mother wanted for me, not one trapped in the gilded cage my father had built. And frankly, because I liked it. It’s been a hell of a good time.

Even if I can’t remember at least a third of it.

But you, Livvy, you remind me to take a breath.

To stop and smell the ocean. Watch the sunset.

The way you savor every moment—the joy you had winning that regatta, the curve of your neck as you swayed listening to the orchestra, the expression of pure bliss on your face when you tasted that enchilada.

You’ve made me realize that while being a libertine was fun for a time, it isn’t anymore.

I’ve been indulging myself for years, but it’s been some time since I’ve truly enjoyed it. You changed that.”

Her heart caught in her throat and she squeezed his hand more tightly. “I don’t want you to change yourself for me. That only leads to unhappiness.”

“But that’s just it. You’re not changing me. You’re bringing me back to myself. You’ve made acting fun again, something more than a means of funding my extravagant lifestyle. I only wish I could do the same for you. Because it may not have been your dream, but you’re a damn good actress.”

Livvy sat up a little straighter, fully admitting something to herself for the first time. “You’re right. Acting was never my dream. But I think maybe it could be. I didn’t understand that I could still be a storyteller, even if I wasn’t the one writing the stories.”

Flynn got a faraway look in his eyes, and Livvy was surprised to hear his voice choked with emotion when he spoke.

“That’s it, isn’t it? You’ve put into words something I’ve always known to be true but never understood.

The stories we loved as children? We’re a part of making them now.

Of giving others that same escape they offered us. ”

“I didn’t know it was possible,” she confessed. “To find joy in my work again. To find a purpose beyond taking care of Judy. But Flynn, you’ve helped me turn acting from an obligation, a means to help Judy, into something that makes me excited to get out of bed every day.”

“Your very existence makes me eager to get up every day. The night I met you, I was so damnably bored. There’s only so much liquor and so many dames one can enjoy before they start to lose their novelty. But when I’m with you, I get the feeling I’ll never be bored again.”

Livvy’s head was spinning, the combination of the wine and Flynn’s confessions sending her reeling.

Once, she had imagined hearing these things from a man.

But she’d long since realized she would only find such romantic fantasies in her precious books.

But now he was here, flesh and blood, holding her hand, and telling her… what, exactly?

“What do you mean?”

He ran a hand down his face. “Hell, I’m making a hash of this.

I don’t even know exactly what I mean. I only know that my days are richer with you in them.

And I don’t want our time together to end when this film is done or when Harry decides that we’ve sufficiently fooled everyone and my reputation has been successfully mended.

Somewhere along the way, this became real to me.

Maybe it always was. Because from the moment I saw you, I knew my life would never be the same.

I want you, Livvy. More than I’ve ever wanted anything. ”

She huffed out a little gasp of air, trying to process everything he’d said. And the things he hadn’t—the three little words she was starting to feel in her own heart but feared he might never be able to say.

Yet he had told her things tonight she had never expected to come out of his mouth.

Maybe miracles did happen. After all, somehow her life had brought her here—to Hollywood, on the verge of making her screen debut, with her sister hale and happy, and Flynn Banks telling her that he wanted her.

None of this was what she had expected. What she had even dreamed could be possible.

She had tried to remind herself it wasn’t real, that it was all part of an act. But it was far past time she admitted to herself—and to Flynn—that she’d been having trouble pretending all along. It was time to be bold. Like the man she was falling for.

She reached for her wineglass and downed the last of it in a single gulp. Then, she stood and undid the tie of her robe, letting it fall to the deck. “I want you too.”