Page 49 of A Spell for Midwinter’s Heart
“In return,” added Lorena, “you tell all the visitors to the Elk Ridge Wheel of the Year about us, and what we do, and that they should think about supporting our future projects.”
“It’ll be one more way we’re unique,” said Rowan. She raised her fingers, tapping each as she spoke. “Local, inclusive, green.” She glanced at her mother, who smiled in return. “Magic.”
“It’s interesting,” said Dennis, seeming to disappear into his head—considering it. Breath stuck fast in chests as they watched him in anticipation. Finally, he cleared his throat and said, “It’s going to be a lot of work, getting it all put together.”
“I’ll help,” said Gavin. “I think most of us…” His eyes flicked to Rowan briefly, and she analyzed every moment of his face for any sign of what he was feeling about her—about them.
But he looked away too fast, or perhaps it was that he kept his feelings too deep.
“…who were involved in the planning would.”
Across the room, Dennis’s face lit up at what all that implied. “Does that mean what I think it means? You’re finally coming home?”
Gavin looked his father square in the face. “Maybe, but only if we have some hard conversations about how things are going to change. You’re going to be hearing ‘no’ a lot more, and you’re going to respect it. Otherwise, don’t be surprised when I just stop picking up the phone.”
It took a few moments for Dennis to respond.
His face contorted, as if he’d been socked, and then he looked blank.
His voice finally came out with an uneasy chuckle and a stilted “Oh come on, you wouldn’t really do that to your old man, would you?
Leave me high and dry when I need you? Doesn’t sound like the boy I raised. ”
“Maybe not,” said Gavin—clearly and firmly. “But it’s the man he’s growing into. The way things’ve been? Wasn’t fair to me. You ask me to take on way too much for you. You have been ever since Mom died. That changes today.”
He’d done it. He’d really done it.
At first, Dennis did nothing, only stared, his face blank as he seemed to process what was happening.
His posture stiffened as an “I did my best!” exploded out of him.
“I had to be mother and father—I lost the love of my goddamn life!” His voice cracked, and for a moment, Rowan thought he might break, and break down, but he kept going.
“I was trying to run a company, doing everything I could to keep this town afloat. Paying every bill this festival couldn’t foot on its own! I was overwhelmed. You have no idea how overwhelmed I was!”
His breath was coming in gasps, and he was shaking. A few steps away, Gavin was frozen, jaw clenched, lips tight, as he rebelled against the instinct that had been so well bred into him—to reach out, to manage his father’s feelings, to tell him that it would be okay.
And to put his own aside to do it.
Rowan almost stepped forward to intervene, but her mother got there first.
“Of course you were, Dennis,” said Liliana, her voice compassionate. “We all lost…” She sighed. “So much when she died. Sarah was a special person.”
“One of a kind,” muttered Dennis, eyes on the floor.
“Irreplaceable,” said Liliana with a nod.
“Being a parent is hard with a community, but without one? It’s impossible.
” Then her voice shifted, and Rowan knew exactly what was coming, because she had heard it many times growing up.
It was the tone of voice that recognized—yes, you’ve got feelings you can’t control, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to let them control you.
“But he was a child, Dennis. Your child. You had a responsibility to him to get the help and support you needed, so you could be there for him, and you didn’t do it, and now he’s doing the work you should have done a long time ago.
” She crossed her arms. “Fix your shit, or lose your son, Dennis. It’s that simple. ”
Silence. An uncomfortable silence that followed Dennis as his eyes dragged between the three of them. On finding the three a united front, his shoulders collapsed.
“You’re right,” he said finally, his voice quiet and exhausted.
There was a loud clearing of the throat. “Welllll,” Dade drawled through the computer. “I think we should probably go…”
Lorena unmuted in an instant. “No, don’t end the call! This is like so much better than anything in my Netflix queue.”
They had forgotten that Lorena and Dade were still on the line. Dennis righted himself, straightening with an awkward shake of the head. “We have a lot to discuss over here, but we’ll be in touch.”
“We look forward to hearing from you,” said Lorena, “ in the New Year. ” They both vanished in a blip, off to enjoy their holiday.
Everyone looked toward the door leading to the warehouse meeting room. The Goshen Group was inside, waiting for their answer.
“Well?” asked Gavin, staring hard at his father. “You’re doing the right thing, aren’t you?”
Dennis studied him and then, after a moment so long Rowan went a little lightheaded at holding her breath, the old man inclined his head toward the doors.
“You do the honors,” he said. “I think we both know which of us here is the bigger man.”
Gavin could only stare in pleased shock. Finally, he stepped over to pull his father into a hug. At first, Dennis was stiff, and then he slowly eased into it.
The “I’m sorry” was so soft as to almost be inaudible to anyone but Gavin, who was, in the end, the only person who really needed to hear it.
“I know, Dad,” came the reply.
It was so intimate and tender that Rowan turned away. She looked at the stairwell and, realizing she was no longer needed, took the steps down two at a time.