Page 55 of A Soul’s Curse (Fallen Souls #1)

I’d been moping for two straight weeks. I didn’t cry, not at first anyway.

I was too numb to feel much of anything.

I didn’t just lose Ren, but I had killed someone.

Even if he wanted it, that crushing weight, that guilt doesn’t just disappear.

It was the very thing my magic was designed to do and what I had always desperately feared what one day might happen.

When we first arrived back at Ren’s place in Salem, all I wanted to do was leave.

The faint scent of him was everywhere … on the bathroom towels, on his jacket hanging from the coat rack, but it was strongest in the bedroom—the same bedroom where we shared that one blissful night together, knowing he’d never again wrap his arms around me as I slept.

I gave a lot of credit to my friends. Stella and Ivy tried to distract me by helping me with my work in the basement.

After all, without Ren’s support, I wasn’t sure if we’d even still be able to pay the rent on our own.

Thomas popped in from time to time, returning from his family reunion, and was utterly destroyed at learning about the loss of his brother only after just having gained him back.

Nick also put me to work, sending some odd jobs my way to keep me occupied.

Ellie dragged me to the museum with her, teaching me about all the new magic objects that came in.

Even my sister pitched in, taking a few days off work so we could spend a weekend attending something called the Enchanted Garden Market in Maine, where witches and herbal growers gathered to sell their unique magical goods.

But now, as I stared at the extravagant wine and cheese gift basket sitting on the kitchen table, on my birthday, I nearly collapsed from heartache.

I was surprised Ren even remembered our first encounter when I flashed my license in his face and he asked what kind of gift I wanted.

He must have scheduled it for delivery before he decided to be a hero and sacrifice himself to the underworld.

It came with a printed note from the delivery company that read, “Happy birthday, Dandelion Weed.”

“Well, I think we can at least agree Ren had an exquisite taste in cheese,” Thomas said, as he bit into a cracker smeared with a creamy white brie. He caught on to today’s fashion pretty quickly, wearing a purple cashmere sweater and distressed designer jeans courtesy of his parents’ credit card.

“ Has ,” I corrected. “He has an exquisite taste in cheese. He’s still alive, and he’s coming back.”

“If it's any consolation, if I know my brother, he’s not the type of person to do something without a reason. I mean, he infiltrated the Syndicate for a whole year on a mission to rescue me.”

“But you don’t know your brother. You’ve known him just as long as I have. Actually less, since you left for a couple of weeks.”

“Hmm.” Thomas scratched his chin. “Good point. In that case, he’s still a demon. He’s not the type to give us that easily.” My heart thumped at the reminder. I might have been Ren’s dandelion weed, but I had called him a cockroach, saying he was stubborn and refused to die.

Stella set down her glass of wine. It was just the three of us in the kitchen, as Ivy and Ellie were out gathering some supplies for me and making a few drop offs.

Her chair scraped across the title floor as she stood up and she approached me at the table.

I was slumping forward, my head lazily resting in my hand.

Caspian’s magic stirred something inside me, but right now, everything just felt extraordinarily numb and I wanted nothing more than to have followed Ren right through that portal to the underworld.

“Okay, I’m only gonna say this once.” I looked up at her. The red streaks in her short, dark hair shone brightly in the afternoon sun coming in through the window. “Quit your moping and get your ass out of that chair.”

“Stella, I’m not in the—”

She kicked over my chair and I fell onto the floor. She had a surprising amount of strength for someone so small.

“Oh, boy. That might be my cue to leave. The little fairy is out for blood and I want nothing to do with it.” Thomas chuckled as he loaded up his plate with more cheese and scampered off into the living room.

I took my time getting up as Stella asked, “Do you really believe Ren’s still alive?”

I didn’t know how to answer that question. The hopeful part of me wanted to say yes, but the realistic side of me knew it was impossible he could have survived this long.

I rubbed my chest, where I imagined my soul once was. I had given it to Ren, and he just … what? Threw it away? Yet there was a small flicker of belief that clung stubbornly to my heart. He asked me to trust him, and I did.

“Yes,” I finally answered. “I know it’s unlikely, but I can’t give up on him.

Before the rift closed, he … he said something to me.

His last words were, ‘Grow strong, my dandelion weed.’ He only called me that because I was stubborn and always showing up at places I wasn’t wanted.

I think … I think he knew I’d go after him.

Which means he must have had a plan to survive. ”

Stella breathed out a long sigh. “Then what the hell are you doing here staring at an expensive cheese basket? Find a way to get him back!”

“How?” I righted the chair and sat back down. “You heard Markus. I can’t travel to the underworld. There’s no way for me to get to him. And even if I could, that place has to be like … as big as the living world. He could be anywhere.”

“I think I can help with that!” Ivy stopped in the doorway, panting and gripping the door frame with her hand. Ellie was standing behind her, juggling four oversized bags of goods.

“What? How?” I asked, just as Jacob’s ghost appeared beside her, standing there looking all casual with his khaki shorts and loose-fitting tank top. I knew I was the only person other than Ivy able to see or talk to him.

“Jacob,” Ivy said as she caught her breath.

Stella handed her a glass of water. “The first thing I asked him was if he could take us to the underworld, but even if he could, our living bodies would shut down. But Theo … remember when you let Jacob possess you? If you did it again, you could use his magic to pass through into the underworld. We can’t come with you, but you could go on your own. ”

“But what about once I get there? I still won’t be able to survive.” I clutched my chest. “Wait … my soul. Ren took my fucking soul! As far as the underworld is concerned, I don’t exist.”

“Right on, dude,” Jacob added with a thumbs up.

“But technically, you’re still living, and you have magic.

A lack of a soul makes you undetectable, but while ghosts in the underworld may have their own type of magic, most have lost their innate magical power from when they were living.

It’s a dead giveaway.” He snorted at his own cheesy joke.

“Fucking Caspian,” I laughed manically. “His magic came from being a phantom … half dead, half alive. The Nether might still eat away at my living magic, but I think … I think Caspian’s magic might be different. I think it might protect me somehow.”

“Maybe.” Jacob shrugged. “You also have to be careful of the Riftwardens. They patrol the underworld, making sure people like you don’t slip through. It’s risky, but it’s worth a shot.”

My mouth dropped open. My knees started shaking. I had to clutch the kitchen table to stop myself from fainting.

“What’s going on? Someone tell me what’s going on?” Stella’s frantic gaze bounced back and forth between me and Ivy. “I don’t like not being a part of the conversation!”

My lips twitched, hesitant at first, like my face had forgotten how to move that way.

But then it came: a smile so soft, genuine, and fragile like the first bloom after a long winter.

The numbness didn’t completely vanish, but for the first time in two weeks, hope carved out a space beside the grief.

If there was even a chance Ren could be saved, I wasn’t letting it slip through my fingers.

I turned toward Stella, the sudden brightness radiating from the smile on my face catching her off guard. “Sounds like I’m taking a vacation to the underworld. I’m bringing Ren home.”