Page 27 of A Song of Air (Fae Elementals #4)

“I just don’t understand why you have to be the healer,” Iona argued. “Why does it have to be you ? Why does it have to be your magic?”

That wasn’t the first time Iona had asked that question, it wouldn’t be the last, and Malika’s answer would remain the same.

“My magic is invaluable. I help people because I want to, because I can, because it is my duty.”

“You know the price you pay for it.”

“A small price and you know it.”

Iona growled and flashed her canines in her sister’s direction.

“Don’t you growl at me,” Malika snapped back. “You don’t get to tell me what to do with my magic. You don’t get to tell me who to help, how to help, or when to help.”

“I’m looking out for you—”

“Stop it. Stop trying to disguise your own manipulative, controlling urges as you caring about me.”

“Are you saying I don’t care about you?”

“On the contrary, Iona. I know you care. You care too damn much. Answer me this, what if I asked you to stop using your Elemental magic?”

Malika was met with silence.

“Exactly.”

“It’s not the same.”

“How?!”

“I don’t lose energy when I use my magic. My magic is different. My magic is more—”

“Special?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to, Iona. You are not superior to me merely because you were blessed by Mana.”

“I didn’t say that! And you were blessed by Mana too!”

“Exactly. I am blessed . Which is why I have to do what I must in order to ensure our survival.”

Julius’ gaze volleyed back and forth between the sisters as they argued. He watched them face off, both of them so alike he wasn’t even sure if they realized it. From the tone of their nearly similar voices to the stance in which they stood—feet slightly apart, backs straight, furrowed brows, and crossed arms.

He stood a bit apart from them, his own posture stiff and ready to interject between the two should the need arise.

He hated seeing Iona in distress. It made his mating instincts rise. It made his body demand he eliminate all threats to Iona, to protect, attack, do what he must. But he couldn’t. This was Iona’s sister. The sister she had mourned. The sister she had risked everything to find, only to be told she’d died.

And now they were arguing.

Julius fought the urge to sigh at the sky.

“Malika, you’ve always done this.” Iona took a cautious step towards her sister, as if she didn’t quite know if she should reach out to her or not. Touch her. Vulnerability whispered in between the spaces of the two, and Julius was sure neither knew how to approach it or what to do. “You’ve always placed everyone else’s health above your own.”

“It was one little wound. I have healed worse.”

“Exactly! You need to be mindful of yourself.”

“Would you say the same thing to your healer? To Ryker?”

Iona was silenced once again.

Julius bit the inside of his cheek. He knew she wouldn’t say it to Ryker. She hadn’t said it to Ryker. In fact, the entire Resistance had put Ryker’s life—and magic—on the line again and again until Shula had banned him from using his magic at all.

He found it hypocritical that Iona would ask her sister to push aside her Mana-given gift but wouldn’t do the same herself or ask the same of Ryker. He didn’t say that, though, because she’d kick him in the dick, and he valued that particular part of his anatomy.

Malika sighed and finally broke the distance between Iona and herself. She grasped her sister’s shoulders, looked deep into her eyes, almost begging her to understand.

“I have to do this. Mana gave me this gift for a reason.”

Julius’ eyes went to his mate, waiting for her reply. She was glaring angrily at her sister, and once again, Julius found himself marveling at how alike—and how different—both sisters were. The same rounded nose, the same lips, the same eye shape. But Malika’s hair was dark and braided. Iona had cut hers short, and the curly wisps were as white as snow, like the very ice she wielded threaded through the coils of her hair.

“Do you even still believe in Mana?” Iona whispered harshly. “Do you even still pray?”

Malika’s arms dropped. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“I remember how you used to pray. Every night, you would whisper your wishes to Mana. You had so much faith. Do you still have that?”

Malika gritted her teeth. “What do you want me to say, Iona?”

“I want the truth.”

“Fine.” She threw her hands up. “I haven’t prayed since we lived at Court. I lost my faith. I lost the urge to pray when I thought I was alone. When I thought my entire family had died. I lost the urge when I was forced to endure torture in the iron camps. But I’ve never lost my belief in Mana.”

Iona seemed to stagger back. Julius tamped down the growl that wanted to arise and resisted the urge to go to her. They needed to hash this out one way or another, though he knew what kind of betrayal Iona might have been feeling. She’d told him of their past, that she’d adopted praying because it’s what her sister would have done.

What must she have felt like to know that the sister she’d prayed for had given up her own prayers?

“Does the truth make you feel better?” Malika asked quietly.

Iona shook her head. “No. But I stand by what I said. Stop healing people. Especially people who don’t deserve it.”

“And how do you decide who deserves my help or not?”

Iona scoffed. “That human Everette definitely doesn’t.”

“And what makes you say that?”

“He hates us. Refuses to help us.”

“So I should only help those who worship the ground the Resistance walks on? Is that what you’re saying?”

“No, but at least if you’re going to hurt yourself to save somebody, save somebody not so insufferable.”

Malika’s own canines snapped. Her temper finally flared, and her voice rose to a shout. “For the last time, you cannot tell me what to do. I know how to use my magic. I know my own limits way more than you ever could. I don’t need your help. I don’t even need you to care, because at the end of the day, I’ve lived most of my life without you. I don’t need you.”

Iona staggered backwards as the force of her sister’s words landed. Like a blow to the chest, Iona gripped her shirt front and sucked in a ragged breath. She stared at her sister, betrayal crossing over her features.

Julius could physically see the heartbreak through the window of her dark eyes. The hope she’d harbored shattered right before him, breaking into thousands of pieces, and he could do nothing but watch it crumble, unable to put them back together again.

He started forward, but Iona was already moving, whirling away from her sister and stalking away into the darkening night, disappearing into the trees.

Julius needed to go after her. He had to.

He marched forward, stopping only a few feet away from Malika. When he turned, it was to pierce her with a glare that could crumble down buildings.

Malika was staring at the spot where Iona disappeared from. It took a single moment for the anger to diminish, as the impact of the words she’d said finally registered. Malika’s palms went to her lips, smothering the gasp of surprise at the words she’d spat angrily. Slowly, her eyes flicked to Julius.

“I didn’t mean it,” she said, tears slipping from her eyes. “She has to know I didn’t mean it.”

“It doesn’t matter now,” Julius growled. A part of him wished he could reach over and shake her, but he wouldn’t put his hands on Malika. No matter what she’d said to his mate, Iona would never forgive the transgression. “You said it anyway, and she will believe it to be true.”

“She has to know—”

“She doesn’t know shit,” Julius interrupted. He could feel his anger rising, the kind that had nothing to do with the price of his own magic. “She doesn’t know you. Not anymore.” When Malika’s tears kept falling, Julius willed his anger to be leashed. “Look,” he said. “I understand. You are sisters, but you’re strangers. I need you to know that Iona risked everything she had to try and find you. When she thought you were dead—” He broke off, remembering the moment so vividly. Remembering the agonized cries as she took the dagger to her coils, sawing through them in uneven, shaking strokes until there was hardly anything left.

He’d never heard such harrowing sounds before.

He pierced Malika with another glare. “You have been given a gift,” he said softly. “A gift that Mana does not grant to many. You’ve already lost so many years; don’t waste any more time arguing over something trivial.”

He turned away from her then and took a step before he threw a glance over his shoulder.

“And if you ever say anything to disrespect or make my mate cry again, I will ensure you live to fucking regret it.”

Iona pressed her forehead against the tree, digging her skin into the rough bark until she felt she would bleed. The tears froze on her cheeks as soon as she shed them, creating an icy trail that was as cold and as desolate as the feeling in her chest.

I don’t need you.

Those words echoed over and over, like arrows piercing through her heart, one after another. She didn’t want to believe them, but she did. She didn’t want to accept it, but what other choice did she have? Her sister was a stranger to her now.

Yes, there was still a remnant of the Fae she’d known and loved, deep down somewhere. But the truth was, it didn’t matter. Because life had happened. The war had happened. Neither one of them was the same person they’d been years ago.

She knew that.

Yet Iona felt like she was burying her sister all over again. She really had died that day, and someone new had been born.

It was a truth that was difficult to contend with.

Iona pushed away from the tree and curled her fingers into her palm. Her digits hardened to ice, cutting into her skin. Her muscles tensed, and with a fierce cry, she threw her icy fist out at the tree before her. Bark chipped away, creating an indent in the trunk.

Her guilt over the destruction was immediate, so she pulled away, turning as footsteps sounded behind her.

Julius emerged from the shadows, his ginger brows creased with concern as he approached.

“I’m fine.” Iona turned away from him, even as the lie tasted bitter on her lips.

Julius didn’t speak. At least, not until she felt the warmth of his mountainous body at her back. His arms came around her, caging her against the tree.

“You don’t have to lie to me,” he whispered.

Iona sniffled. “I’m fine.” The tears sprang to her eyes once again.

“Iona—”

“I shouldn’t expect her to be the exact same person. I mean, at least her complete disregard for her own well-being is still on par with who she used to be. That much hasn’t changed.”

“Iona—”

“It would be even stranger if she didn’t help others. It would be so unlike her that—”

“Iona—”

“I just worry that her energy will wane. What if she gets hurt? What if she—”

“Iona!” His voice came out firm, rumbling against her backside. She jolted as his hands crashed against her, whipping her around in his arms. He held her close, his arms encircling her waist, pressing his palms against her lower back to bring her closer still.

She looked up into his eyes, and the sympathy she found deep within his green depths had her throat constricting. The tears immediately jumped to her eyes, and she tried as hard as she could to hold them back. But Julius, as always, saw right through her.

“Let it out, love. It’s okay.”

The first sob came out and she couldn’t stop the rest that followed. Iona buried her face in his shirtfront, inhaling his pine scent, of forest and earth. Her tears soaked his front, and her mate only pulled her closer.

“You are allowed to mourn the sister you knew. You are allowed to mourn who she is now. Let your tears flow, love. Mourn the death of the life you knew; I know that’s why you’re really weeping.”

Was it? Was that why the tears were flowing? Because of what this world had done not only to her sister but to her as well? It had hardened the both of them. It had changed them, made them into something Iona never thought they’d be.

“Weep, love,” Julius encouraged, rubbing his palm against her back. “And then you’ll go back out there and face your sister and apologize.”

Iona made a noise of disbelief in the back of her throat but didn’t argue, because Julius kept her pressed tightly to him, not giving her a chance to reel back and glare at him.

“You will apologize, and so will she. And you will move on from this. Because she is your sister. Your family. And Mana has given you a gift, one that not everyone has the privilege of getting.”

Iona sobbed harder. “You’re right.”

“I know.” He kissed the top of her head. “And now that the truth is out, now that you’ve mourned, you’ll only grow stronger. With Malika at your side. Do you understand?”

She choked on an oncoming sob. “I understand.”

“Good. Because life is too short for grudges and anger. So let it out, and let it go.”

Her hands gripped him tight, and she took his advice, letting her tears fall until she had nothing left to cry anymore.

Julius was right. Seeing her sister in this new environment, knowing what had happened to her, how much she’d suffered, hadn’t been the life Iona wanted for her. Despite all that, she was alive. Her sister was alive.

And that was a gift from Mana.

One she hadn’t been expecting, but one she appreciated just the same.