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“Still mad?” Anunit asked upon my return.

Tristan gave her a cold glare, but she deliberately ignored him. The air felt thick between them, the tension gradually escalating. He was mad at her, and he had every reason to want to rip her head off—but I needed my husband focused on the next stage of this operation. We’d reached the point of no return, and I had decided to leave the World Crusher issue with Death.

If the first Reaper had wanted me gone, she would’ve obliterated me as soon as I set her free. It wasn’t me or Tristan or anyone else that she was after. Just our maker. And I was so tired of the lies and the secrets. Why bother? Why struggle?

“I’m ready for my body,” I told Anunit. “What happened was the will of the universe, so I cannot pluck my own nerves about it. I cannot undo the past, either. I can only look into the future, and after all this nonsense you’ve put us through, I figure I deserve a life.”

Anunit watched me with renewed interest for a short while, before a grin slit her face from ear to ear. “Okay. I appreciate the sentiment. Frankly, I’d be just as upset if I were you.”

So the operation is going into its final stage?Tristan asked me telepathically.

Yes. Death has sanctioned it, I said.

Tristan’s eyes widened as he looked my way. I suppose we’ll talk about it later. He took my hands in his and spoke aloud for Anunit to hear, as well. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“It’s perfectly safe, don’t worry,” Anunit cut in as she stepped back and took out her upgraded scythe. Her lips moved as she drew the silhouette of a person in the white powder dust that covered Biriane’s ground. Once one end of the line met the other, a body emerged out of thin air. My body.

I sucked in a breath, nearly losing my balance as I beheld her. She was identical to me. Anunit had made her in my image. It was a little strange but certainly more welcome than a foreign face for me to look at for some years to come. She had my hair and my pale skin. The red lips. Every inch of her had been modeled after me. “Whoa,” I breathed, unable to move.

“I figured you’d be more comfortable in a replica of yourself,” Anunit replied, clearly satisfied by my reaction. “In case you’re wondering, I used human and fae genes, which I have identified as the strongest combination to withstand your Reaper spirit. Surprising, I know, but I’ve done comprehensive tests before reaching this conclusion.”

Tristan paced around the body several times. His gaze softened, and I knew he was as pleased with what he was seeing as I was; we’d both have to live with this particular body. Anunit had managed to impress me.

“I do not question the details of your craft,” I muttered. It was my turn to circle my future meat suit. The closer I got, the more startling the details that popped out. Everything about her was me. The faintest expression lines, the shape of her knuckles, the lazy curve of her lower lip. Yes, it was me, down to the tiniest physical particle. “She’s a work of art.”

“Let me just add one thing—she won’t sustain your full nature once awakened,” Anunit said. There it was. Something had to spoil it. Otherwise, this would’ve been too good to be true. I knew that. I was expecting downsides to this arrangement. I only hoped they would be things I could live with.

“Explain,” I demanded bluntly.

“I need to put your true self under. Store it inside this,” she said, producing a silvery cube the size of a die. Its perfectly polished edges glimmered lime green. Everything in her statement made me tense.

“Anunit, I’m pretty sure you know what I had to deal with while I was on Visio,” I replied, my voice wavering. “I am not, under any circumstances, willfully shoving myself inside that thing. Do you understand me? Or do you take me for an imbecile?”

Tristan took the die from her hand and turned it over several times. “What the hell is this?”

“It’s not a trap,” she replied. “It’s just to store eons’ worth of memories and your powers. The body will not hold the full extent of your being. If I cram you in there just the way you are, the whole thing will explode, and I have worked too damn hard on her to screw this up. It is perfectly safe and not a prison of any kind!”

“I’m not convinced,” Tristan said.

“Neither am I,” I added, crossing my arms.

“You will retain full consciousness of yourself,” Anunit insisted. “You will simply be limited, and you won’t remember much beyond the past twenty years. It’s only because you’ve lived longer than any other living being. The brain in her head,” she said, pointing at my body, “will not be able to hold all of you in your full state. This is the only way this is going to work. It’s your choice. I’m not going to push you.”

I should’ve expected this. Everything Anunit said made sense. The memories of my existence spanned tens of millions of years. My powers were of cosmic origin, given to me by Death—I was still one of the first Reapers. I had strength like no other supernatural in this universe. Anunit’s solution did come with a slight perk, however. I would get to retain my consciousness, though only a limited amount of memories. “Won’t the absence of my previous memories affect my behavior?” I asked as Tristan handed me the small dice.

“Not as much as you think. You will be able to access your memories in your dreams, when you sleep. When your body is resting,” Anunit explained. “You’ll have a subconscious point of access to your true self, and that should be able to keep your behavior and decision-making processes as close to the original as possible. Like I said, it’s the best I could do, and trust me, I’ve done more for you than for any other Reaper I’ve helped.”

Tristan and I stepped to the side for a few moments, while Anunit waited patiently, pretending to look elsewhere. Seeing what she’d prepared for me did send an aching pang through my chest, but this had to be done like we’d planned from the beginning because it was the right thing to do and because it would bring the universe closer to its original balance. My husband and I kept our communications telepathic, but we weighed every pro and con we could come up with. This wasn’t the first time we were having this conversation, but it was this abundance of cautiousness that had kept us safe and together for so long. We listened to one another, and we had trust in ourselves, too.

Death can handle the World Crusher,Tristan said. She’s right. It shouldn’t be your problem. Besides, she’s Death, you know? Big force of the cosmos, completely free and in possession of Thieron. She’s learned some lessons from the Spirit Bender too. I think she’s perfectly capable of finding and dealing with her first-made.

I agree, I replied. It still makes me feel uneasy, but that’s mostly due to my guilt about how the World Crusher got out.

Exactly, he said.

What about Anunit?I asked, going over every single doubt that had nagged me from the moment I’d first met this oddball of a Reaper.

She’s small potatoes compared to what we’ve dealt with. An enhanced scythe and perhaps too much information, but that’s about it,Tristan said. I’ve got your weapon, and I’m confident I can disable her as soon as she’s done with you.

I’ve taught you the spell and everything else you need.

Exactly,he continued. Besides, Anunit got what she wanted by showing you the truth about Death. Tristan took a step forward, closing the distance between us and kissing me softly on the lips. For a second, all our troubles went away, and I was my purest self once again. I wanted more of this. So much more. You’ve wanted this for so long, he said. We didn’t plan for things to turn out this way, for the World Crusher to be set free in order to complete this trial, but Death said she’ll take care of it. Maybe for once we should just go with our gut feeling and follow this dream to the end, don’t you think? I am tired of watching you struggle, and I only want what’s best for you. Always, my love.

I gave him a warm smile, thankful for him as always, then turned to face Anunit. “What happens if I change my mind while I’m in my body?”

“I’ve put the breaking spell in there,” she said, pointing at the dice in my hand. “You can’t have immediate access since you might accidentally recite it in your dreams or something. It’s in there, you’ll just have to dig for it.”

This was it. The moment I had been waiting for.

The more I questioned it, the fewer doubts I had as Anunit answered my every concern with clear eyes and a confident smile. This obviously wasn’t her first rodeo. It was mine, but it was time to press on. There wasn’t anything else I could do for Death. If push came to shove, I’d find the breaking spell and set myself free. But until then, I would have a body and be able to truly live for the very first time.

“Okay, let’s do this,” I said.

Anunit came closer, gingerly closing my hands around the die. “It won’t hurt, but it will probably feel a little funny when you wake up.”

“Thank you,” I told her aloud, and thought my “I’m sorry.” As soon as the spell was done and I was in my new body, Tristan would pounce and take her down. I didn’t feel too bad about it, though. Anunit wanted me to hate Death. The Reaper had done her part in this wretched circus, for sure. But despite her many shortcomings, there was more to my maker. She was the closest thing I’d ever have to a mother, and none of the things she had done had ever been with the sole purpose of hurting me. Her character flaws had caused plenty of chaos, but nothing deliberately hurtful.

Death was something abstract, a manifestation of a power I only thought I understood. We were but servants who’d had no say in our making. The universe was a vast and complicated sandbox. But through this jumbled mess of strangeness, I had found Tristan, and Tristan had found me. We’d fallen in love. Nothing would tear us apart. That much I knew for sure.

This was my chance to give him a family. He deserved it. He was a good and righteous and wonderful man. He deserved to have a living wife and living children, if only just once in what I hoped would be a very long lifetime. As Anunit began chanting the spell, I felt myself slipping away. Biriane disappeared first, and I was thankful to see it go. This place had so much baggage.

I imagined myself in a living body. I wondered how Tristan’s hands would feel on me then. What our lovemaking would be like. Bits of me started to come off like tiny blocks, sucked into the silvery dice in my closed hands. The image of Anunit gradually faded away. Then Tristan followed, dissolving into a wash of brilliant watercolors.

A sweet nothingness came over me. A deep sleep, I realized. I’d never slept before.

The darkness was warm and cozy, with big fluffy arms that held me tight. I was swaddled inside the walls of a silvery dice with lime green edges. I was warping and swirling, having lost all sense of shape and size and the space around.

I was gone. Soon I would be reborn. In the distance somewhere, I heard Tristan’s curse. Anunit’s laughter. I wondered what that was about, but I couldn’t think about it much. None of my thoughts stayed in one place for too long. I had been rendered… liquid.

Yes, I was gone. But I would return.