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I stuffed my hands into my armpits and banged my head against the door three times. Tears fell down my cheeks as I opened my eyes and found myself staring right into Flynn’s. The pupils were blown, the once vibrant colour of his irises utterly gone.

“Please, stop.” I hated how pathetic I sounded.

How miserably useless. Because even this sick joke of the man I used to know and love was enough for every bad feeling to flood to the surface.

I’d tried so hard not to dwell on Flynn’s death—to sweep it under the rug—at least until I finished the trials and was done with the academy.

Then Fallon and the others had taken the limelight in my mind.

It had become easier, having distractions, having friends…

“Go away!” I yelled as I launched at my friend. My hands met nothing but air as Flynn simply dissipated before my eyes, melting away into nothing.

I turned and found him blocking my path. “Look at me Kayden. Look at what they did to me. What you did.”

“Leave me alone!”

He melted away again, appearing beside me. “I’ll never see my parents again. Never feel the sand beneath my feet or the heat of the desert. I’ll never be buried with my family. Never be at peace.”

My feet were moving of their own accord, planting me against the door once again.

My heart threatened to burst out of my chest. He was right.

So fucking right about everything. My arrogance got him killed.

I was in charge of the tower and the people guarding it.

I was so caught up in wanting to be in control during that trial that I’d failed the people under me.

My best friend was dead. He was fucking dead.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. I slowly slid down the door and cradled my head in my palms. “I’m so fucking sorry, Flynn.”

His presence receded a step. When I looked up, he’d cocked his head at that unnerving angle again.

At least the awful choking had suddenly stopped.

He stared at me as if he was waiting for more.

Was that the test? To relive his death? Or to simply look down the barrel of the gun and truly face what had happened?

I’d never faced my grief. Maybe it was time to start.

I took a deep breath, then blew it out slowly.

“We were meant to get through the trials together. It wasn’t supposed to go down like this.

I—” My palms were clammy, and I wiped them on my pants before clamping them firmly on my knees to ground me.

“I didn’t honour your memory back then, nor any time since. But I will. I swear it.”

Flynn watched me in silence. His eyes seemed to brighten, just a little. His mouth twitched like he wanted to smile but was holding it back.

“If I ever get out of this place, I will give you the funeral you deserve. I’ll get your body back and I’ll make sure your parents are looked after.

And I promise you, I’ll do everything in my power to win this competition.

We’ve come too fucking far to bow down now.

Anyone who stands in my way has got it coming.

And hey, even if I don’t get to sit on that fancy-ass throne and wear some heavy metal on my head, that won’t stop me from doing everything I can to improve the quality of life of our people. ”

For a moment, it was almost like I had my best friend back.

The evil glamour coating him seemed to waver, and in its place stood my old friend, blood-free and brave as ever.

He threw me that shit-eating grin I remembered so well and then saluted me.

I could almost hear the words he couldn’t say: “Too-fucking-right you will.”

I smiled, and a weight heavier than any barbell I’d ever lifted seemed to ease off my chest. “I’m gonna miss you, buddy. I’ll never forget you, and I’ll never be able to replace you, even if I tried.”

He smiled again, and then his body started glitching.

It had been all too easy to forget that none of this was real.

The man standing before me wasn’t Flynn, yet the interaction had felt so incredibly lifelike.

But I’d left my real brother behind. This imitation of him was probably the last time I’d ever see him again, even if it was fake. But I’d needed it so goddamn bad.

My heart throbbed, and an uncomfortable pain lingered in my chest, but that was okay. I’d never been good with feelings, but this was something I needed to feel. Something I didn’t mind dwelling on anymore. I needed to mourn him. To remember him.

He deserved that.

I’d meant every word I’d said. I would do whatever it took to win, or I’d die trying. This wasn’t just about me anymore. Sure, I wanted to wear that shiny shit on my head and lead as only felt natural, but it wasn’t about my own ego or arrogance anymore.

The illusionary Flynn winked from existence, and I nodded, wiping the tears from my face. As I did, a clunking sounded from across the room, and I watched as a hidden panel slid open, revealing another door. A light dinged above the frame, turning green.

Guess I passed the test then.

With one last look at the space Flynn had been in, I nodded a final time, as if he could see me, then walked out of the room with my head held high.

Yes, my people needed me. They needed change. And I’d stop at nothing to get it.