Page 37 of A Scot for Bethan (The Welsh Rebels #6)

A sob escaped her lips. William never made her feel self-conscious about the scar, but she knew she looked hideous.

What would Cameron make of it? He would look at her differently, it was inevitable, and she could not deny that the notion tore at her gut.

She had never thought that he would see what she had become.

Tears welled in her eyes. Why, oh, why, did he have to come, disturb the fragile peace she was trying to find, reawaken the desire she felt for him—and make her feel like a monster?

Frozen in horror, Cameron stared at the long jagged scar on Bethan’s cheek, a pink trail running from the corner of her right eye to her jaw, right under her earlobe.

Now he understood why she had chosen to wear the strange wimple-like headdress.

She had not wanted him to see the scar. He remembered how Sir William had placed the hood over her head earlier that day before she could turn around.

He had not wanted him to see the scar either.

“Who shall I kill for this?” he growled, his hand going straight to the hilt of his sword.

He would not just kill the man, he would make him wish he’d never been born. The attack had to have happened in the last three months, because when he’d last seen her, her face had been unmarred.

“What happened? What bastard hurt you so? Just say the name.”

“I… No one.”

Cameron watched as Bethan cradled her cheek in her hand and his heart almost stopped. “You don’t mean… You did that to yourself?”

She lowered her eyes to the ground, providing him with the answer.

She had.

“But why?” He was appalled. What could possibly have gone through her mind to make her do such a thing?

“The week after I arrived here, there was a storm. A peddler sought refuge at the castle for the night. He was a filthy old man, thin as a reed, and smelling worse than a pile of dung.” She gave an involuntary shiver, as if the mere memory of that smell offended her nose.

“He slept in the stables, keeping well out of the way. In the morning, before leaving, he tried to sell me various unguents and potions supposed to enhance a woman’s beauty.

I told him I didn’t need anything. He laughed and told me beautiful women always said that, but then there came a time when they regretted not having done anything to preserve their youth and beauty while they could. ”

“What a bloody fool.” Cameron was certainly not impressed by the man’s attitude, but he did not see what that story had to do with anything. Surely Bethan had not slashed her face to prove to the old idiot that she would not mind losing her beauty—supposing she ever would?

“Seeing that there would be no convincing him, I lost patience and made to walk away. That was when he pounced.”

Cameron’s blood exploded in his veins, the strength of his fury making his eyeballs sting and his bones turn to ashes.

Not again! Not another man thinking he could use her body for his pleasure!

Where was the bastard now? If he wasn’t dead already, he would find him and flay him alive, inch by excruciating inch, before stuffing his mouth full with his bloody unguents.

“Please tell me Sir William arrived in time to stop him?”

Before I start retching.

“There was no need. When he grabbed me, I was so overwhelmed with anger and disgust that I struck him down with his heavy wooden staff. I told you he was a wisp of a man, so it wasn’t that hard.

” She raised her head, looking as fierce as a warrior queen.

He had never been prouder of anyone than he was of her in this moment.

“I believe I would have killed him had a groom not arrived at that moment.”

“Aye, well, he deserved no less anyway.”

“Perhaps. But I’m glad not to have a man’s death on my conscience.

I stopped him from—I stopped him, it is all that matters.

But the attack shocked me. Donald McDonald, his brother, the peddler…

Who would be next? And what would happen if the next man succeeded?

I could not bear the idea of being raped or captured or forced to marry to a man I did not want, like I almost was three times in as many months.

” She put her fingertips on the scar. “So, I did what I could do to deter suitors.”

“Dear God, Ealasaid.”

Before he could think, Cameron drew her into his arms. Mercifully, she didn’t stop him, because he needed to hold her, reassure himself she was unharmed. Would that he had been there for her, to make her see that she didn’t have to resort to such extreme measures to be safe!

He brushed his forefinger along the raised ridge of the scar slicing her cheek in half.

It did not look too deep a cut, as if she had not found the courage to do as much damage as she wished.

Still, he could not imagine the pain she had endured.

And the worse of it was, it had been for nothing.

Because scar or no scar, she was still the most arresting woman he had ever seen.

Her eyes had lost none of their sparkle.

Her smile still had the power to steal his breath.

And even if she had cut the other cheek, it would have made no difference.

Her spirit was untouched, no matter what marks had appeared on her skin.

Above all, it was what made her beautiful.

His chest tightened.

“You dared me to look at you and tell you you were an extraordinarily beautiful woman,” he whispered, his mouth at her temple.

“Well, I am looking at you and I cannot say otherwise. This is a scar, nothing more. It doesn’t diminish your beauty in any way.

You are still perfect to me. You’re still the only woman I want. ”

He felt her sag against him, a sure sign her resolve was weakening. “Cameron, you must stop talking like that.”

“Why? When it is nothing but the truth?”

“Because you weren’t supposed to come back, you wretched man! You weren’t supposed to care about me. But you did come back,” she cried out. “And you… And now you’re behaving as if you did care about me. It’s too much. I don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t know what to do.”

Hope swelled in his chest. She had seen how much he cared, and it had broken through her defenses. “Don’t think, mo chridhe , and just do what feels right. Stay with me, you know it’s the right thing to do.”

For a moment, Bethan looked as if she would answer—and instead, burst into tears.

Without the least hesitation, he swept her into his arms and sat down on the bench behind them, keeping her cradled in his lap, closing his eyes when her familiar honeyed scent enveloped him.

She wasn’t usually prone to such outpourings of emotion.

Was this a good sign? Dare he hope she was finally surrendering to her feelings for him?

Mayhap the babe was making her more emotional than usual?

Yes. The babe. That was why he was here, because they needed to discuss it. He would not wait another moment.

“Tell me, why did you go to such lengths to make yourself undesirable?” he murmured once her tears had dried. He thought he knew, but he wanted to hear it from her lips. It was time to force her to reveal what she was hiding from him.

“I could not bear the idea of…”

She stopped and her hand moved to her stomach as if she’d become accustomed to seeking comfort in the babe she was growing in her womb.

At the last moment she bunched her fist and let her arm drop by her side.

Cameron inhaled as his suspicions were confirmed.

He had guessed that there would be more than wanting to ensure she did not appeal to men behind her desperate gesture.

She had done this for their child. Rather than risk having the bairn hurt during an assault, she had cut herself.

His heart squeezed and melted at the same time because in this moment he knew for certain that not all hope was lost. She loved the bairn he had given her, in spite of everything, because she loved him.

“The idea of…?” he encouraged her softly.

Just when he thought she would find the courage to tell him, she straightened her spine and slid down from his lap, her face a blank mask once more.

“The idea of being taken against my will. Up until my arrival in Scotland, I had been in control of who I welcomed in my bed. It scared me to think that I might not be one day. McDonald thought he could force me to precipitate a union between us. The peddler thought he could rape me just because I was ‘a beautiful woman’ and he felt desire for me. I could not risk stirring another man’s lust.”

Aye, undoubtedly, her fear of rape would have weighed in the balance, but he knew that was not the main reason for hurting herself the way she had done. It would have been excruciatingly painful, and she would not have acted so decisively had she had only herself to protect.

“So you cut yourself, thinking it would be enough to keep men at bay?”

She swallowed. “I had intended to do more, but William stopped me. He walked in on me and was horrified.”

“I bet he was.” Cameron could not imagine the shock of finding her, a blade in hand, her face and neck covered in blood.

Had it been him, he wasn’t sure how he would have handled it.

He would have to make sure to thank the man for stopping Bethan before she hurt herself any further.

Really the list of what he owed Sir William was getting ridiculously long.

“And so, to make sure you weren’t assaulted by men who thought you defenseless, he offered to marry you? ”

Her hesitation was brief, but unmistakable. “Yes.”