Page 12

I took a deep breath, convincing myself it had all been a dream.

A deranged, grief-induced dream. A sharp stab of pain shot through my chest, dragging all my discomfort to the forefront of my mind.

My entire body was stiff, every joint ached as I tried to straighten myself and find some semblance of comfort.

My corset laces were still tightly bound.

I’d been too tired to loosen them last night.

I reached down to adjust the dress and found the solid outline of the book Fallon had handed me.

With a quick tug, I freed it from its hiding place, finally able to pull in a full breath without the damn thing digging into my ribs.

I’d completely forgotten about it. After everything that happened, it no longer seemed important. But Fallon had insisted I take it, going so far as to steal it from behind lock and key. There had to be a reason.

The warmth of the leather binding radiated into my hands.

It was rather unimpressive for a relic worthy of a glass case and hidden altar.

I traced the foreign words embossed into the smooth grain, flipping it open as speculation ran wild.

Alongside the unfamiliar writings were vivid drawings of males and beasts.

The simple cover gave no hint of the beauty hidden within.

I stopped at the last image and froze. It was a female astride a bear, flanked by six others. She looked exactly like me.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Luca’s voice startled me, and the book fell from my hands. I quickly shoved it beneath my tattered skirts, unsure if I was even meant to have seen it.

“Oh… I am… I was…” I raised my gaze and my jaw dropped. He was completely naked, dripping water, and carrying several fish.

“Any chance you’re partial to raw fish?” he asked.

I completely forgot myself, throwing etiquette out the window as I stared.

He was magnificent. Water slid down his perfectly sculpted body—sharp lines carved down his hips, while bold tattoos curled over his chest, creeping up his neck and down his arms. I’d seen naked men before—in magazines and movies—but never like this. Never this close.

His manhood was a thing of beauty. It hung heavy and thick between his thighs, demanding admiration with its perfection.

“Mic?”

“Umm… what did you say?” I mumbled, forcing my gaze away.

“Raw fish?”

“Right… fish. You didn’t happen to bring any wasabi with you?” I asked, trying to break the tension growing between us.

He raised an eyebrow and set the gutted fish on a flat rock. I tried to keep my eyes from wandering to his ass, but I’m not sure any warm-blooded woman could have averted her gaze.

“I don’t think we have any of that in Hiraeth, but you’re in luck. I’m feeling generous today.” He shook his body, spraying me with a fine mist.

“Forgive me if I’m not feeling the generosity,” I said, wiping a droplet from my cheek.

I should’ve asked him to put on clothes to spare my virtue or something, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything.

“Watch.” Luca arranged the fish on a flat rock before touching two fingers to the stone. Within moments, smoke curled from the fillets, the sizzle of cooking fish filling the quiet space.

“How did…” I trailed off, the aroma reminding me how long it had been since I’d eaten.

“My gift. I can channel a flux of energy into anything—or radiate it from my body.”

“Where were you last night when we were freezing?” I snarked. I knew I was being a brat. He didn’t owe me anything, but his excessively exuberant attitude brought it out of me.

“Well, it took a miracle to get you to take my coat, so I wasn’t about to push my luck,” he said with a laugh.

“But honestly, I would have, only it takes time to recharge. The spells around the throne room drained me. I can only rebuild when I’m in contact with the land. The magic comes from Hiraeth itself.”

“Speaking of clothes,” Lucius muttered as he rolled over, “you can stop giving Mic a show. She’s a fucking lady, asshole.” He chucked a shirt at Luca before getting up. Both Nico and Fallon pulled themselves from their beds and joined us.

“Are you feeling alright, Mic?” Nico asked, skipping pleasantries.

“I’m fine.”

“You look… a little under the weather.” It was a polite way of saying I looked like shit.

I could only imagine what he saw. I probably looked like I’d lost ten pounds overnight.

The aching joints, the feverish skin, the dizziness had returned with a vengeance.

They were all things I was used to dealing with.

Without a healer or faerie dust to keep it in check, the cancer—technically, my magic—was wreaking havoc on my body.

“I said I’m alright.” I didn’t bother to hide the snap in my voice. I was done talking about it.

“Luca, do you still have your drinking horn?” Fallon asked, changing the subject and saving me from further questions.

She’d been nearly catatonic last night, and yet she seemed calm and collected this morning, even if her short hair stuck out wildly in all directions.

“I’ll get some water and herbs for tea,” she said, stepping out into the deep orange light of sunset.

I ate in silence while the brothers discussed our next steps.

Nico made it a point to consult with Fallon at every decision.

The time for mourning Gunner had been shelved—survival was first and foremost. We’d travel at night to avoid detection from Johan’s trackers, staying close to the river.

We’d reach Whisperhold in a few days—if we were lucky.

Panic clawed at me. I’d been running on adrenaline and willpower alone.

I wasn’t sure how I’d be able to keep up with the days of hard travel ahead.

I needed a healer. I should’ve brought faerie dust with me from Neverland to tide me over—an oversight I deeply regretted.

Did pixies exist in Hiraeth too? I’d have to ask Fallon later.

As the knot of tension grew, my stomach turned. I lurched to my feet, scrambling out from under the pine. I made it a few paces before emptying the contents of my stomach into the bushes. The entire meal went to waste.

Not only was my body failing now I had nothing to fuel me. Fuck! I staggered to the river, splashed my face with the frigid water, and rinsed my mouth.

“Enough with the act. Let me heal you already,” Lucius said. The setting sun cast his face in a warm glow.

“I don’t want your pity, Lu.” I tried to rise on shaky legs—it took everything I had.

“It’s not pity. You can barely stand, you can’t keep food down, you look like you’re wasting away before my eyes. And you’re too damn stubborn to let me help.”

Lucius had healed me before. That’s the whole reason I’d ended up here.

It felt like a lifetime ago when Gwen and I set out on a journey to save my life, beginning with our ill-fated trip to Neverland.

I’d given up hope, but Gwen had it in spades.

It had burned so brightly within her it couldn’t be shuttered.

I’d followed along and dared to dream. But now, I’d caused so many terrible things just trying to survive, I wasn’t sure healing was worth it.

“It’s not simply ‘helping.’ We don’t know what happens when you give your power to me. You could lose years every time you ‘help’.”

“And I’d give them gladly if it saved even one day of yours.”

I stared at him and my heart stuttered. Why did he care so much? We were friends—sure. We’d only recently met. What was he hoping to get out of this?

Maybe I didn’t understand men. I’d written them off when I thought I only had months left. I’d resigned myself to dying a virgin and save it for the love of my next life—because after this one, I was guaranteed something epic, right?

“Listen, I know you hate me because of Gunner, and I’m sorry,” he said.

“I don’t hate you. You saved my life in that throne room. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

The tension in his face fell, replaced with a tenderness he rarely showed. Did you open the gift I gave you before you left?”

My mind reeled with the sharp turn in conversation. Lucius had given me a gift before I left Neverland. I’d toyed with opening it during those days of solitude after arriving in Hiraeth. But I wanted to hold on to that moment for as long as I could.

“No. I’d been meaning to, but unfortunately, it’s back in my room at Mathenholm.”

He sighed and hung his head.

“I’m sorry. I should have opened it.”

“You don’t have to apologize. It was yours to open when you were ready. I just… I hoped…”

Guilt coiled tight in my stomach. “Can you tell me what it is?”

“Nothing really. Something that was special to me.” He hesitated. “Something I hoped would matter to you too. Eventually.”

“Now you have to tell me.”

“It’s not important right now,” he said, but we both knew that wasn’t true. “It’s just a token. It would’ve explained a lot. But maybe it’s for the best that you didn’t open it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me when you gave it to me?”

His jaw flexed. “Because I needed to know you’d open it for the right reason.”

“And what reason is that?”

A smile tugged at his lips, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Because you missed me.”

Whatever that gift was, it wasn’t simply a trinket. It was a truth he wasn’t ready to say—or maybe one I wasn’t ready to hear.

“Lucius, I…” The words failed me. There was nothing more to say and we both knew it.

“Why don’t you stop being so obstinate and let me heal you?” He shifted the conversation again. I wasn’t sure if I was grateful or not.

“Fine. But you have to promise me one thing.”

“Anything.” His eyes lit up.

“You can only heal me a little. Last time, you looked like death warmed over for days. We need you strong in case Johan’s trackers catch up to us.”

“I looked like death warmed over?” He raised a brow and scratched his chin. “If you could see yourself now, you’d accept my help—no conditions attached.”

“Are you saying I look like death?”

“I didn’t say it. I’m just saying you shouldn’t be putting limitations on my help.”

“Promise—or no deal.”

“I could hold you down and heal you against your will. And there’d be nothing you could do to stop me.” He stepped closer. I took an awkward step back. He didn’t hide the feral look in his eyes, and I wasn’t sure if I was afraid or excited.

“You’d never do that. Not to me.” I called his bluff. But I couldn’t help wondering what it would be like to be dominated by him.

He let out a low growl. “Fine. We have a deal. Now get over here.”

I crossed the space between us and reached for him. I watched as a faint blue light spilled from his palms, pooling around mine and curling up my arms. I sensed his foreign power as it washed over me. The feeling was strange and yet familiar, as if my own magic recognized his.

My eyes fluttered shut. A soft moan escaped my lips. The euphoria was strangely intimate, and it ended far too quickly.

When he withdrew his magic, it was almost painful. I opened my eyes. Lucius was so close—his lips a breadth from mine. My whole body burned for something more.

“Michaela, I…”

His arms had somehow found their way around my waist. Being held was something I didn’t realize I needed. There were no words to explain what was transpiring between us. I pressed my lips to his without any thought of the consequences.

He kissed me back, crushing me to his chest with a restrained need, harsh and soft in a way that had me melting in his arms. His tongue flicked my lips, a question of more, and I opened for him.

I explored his tongue with my own, relishing in the feel of him.

Nothing in my short life had ever felt this good.

But I’d gone too far. I’d taken too much from him, more than I deserved. I wouldn’t let the possibilities of a future sink its claws into me only to be ripped out later. I pulled back, stepping out of his arms. My body felt strong again, but my mind still whirled with his kiss.

“I’m sorry, Lu. Thank you for the help. Now… can we forget that last part ever happened?”