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Chapter Seventy-Four

Jasce

I grip the edges of the washing stand until my knuckles turn white as memories of Annora flood my thoughts. Cold. Lifeless. Covered in blood.

Fuck!

“Jasce?” Annora’s voice comes from behind me, but I don’t turn to look at her.

“Mm.” I grab the cloth, scrubbing my face harder than necessary.

“Please look at me.” Her footsteps approach, soft against the tent floor.

“I need to clean up.” The words come out sharp, clipped.

I hate myself for it, but I can’t stop seeing her lifeless body. Can’t stop reliving that moment when she chose to leave me rather than fight.

“You’re angry with me.” Not a question. She knows me too well.

The cloth splashes into the basin as I let it go and place my hands on either side of the washing stand. “You gave up.” The accusation tears from my throat. “You chose death over staying with me.”

“I would rather die than hurt you.” Her voice cracks as she continues. “You don’t understand what it felt like, having him in my head, forcing me to—”

“—and you don’t understand what it felt like holding your dead body.” I slam my fist into the wooden stand. “You were gone, Annora. Gone. Do you know what that did to me?”

She flinches but steps closer, reaching for my clenched hand. I pull away and pace across the tent.

“I held you while your blood soaked through my clothes. While your skin went cold.” I drag my fingers through my hair, yanking hard enough to hurt.

“Jasce—”

“—no!” The word explodes from my chest. “You don’t get to just apologize for this. You don’t get to act like dying was the only choice. We fight together. That’s what we promised each other.”

Tears stream down her cheeks, but I force myself to look away. If I see her cry, I’ll break. I’ll pull her into my arms and pretend everything’s fine.

But it’s not fine. She left me. She chose to leave me.

“I thought I was protecting you.”

“By making me watch you die?” The words come out raw, broken, full of all the pain I would usually try to hide. “That’s not protection, Annora. That’s torture.”

“He was in my head,” she says, her tone thickened with pain. “Commanding me to summon the Phoenix. To burn our camp down. To hurt our people. I wasn’t going to do that. I’m sorry if that hurts you, but I will not destroy our people.”

The rawness in her voice strips away my anger, leaving only the bone-deep ache of almost losing her. I cross to her in three strides and pull her into my arms.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I’m so sorry.”

I crush her against me. “I can’t lose you. Do you understand? I can’t.”

Her body shakes as I pull her even closer.

“Listen to me.” My voice comes out rough, commanding. “No more sacrifices. You fight. You survive. You stay with me.”

I pull back enough to brush away her tears with my thumbs.

“I’ll fight,” she says. “I’ll stay with you.”

“Good. Because if you ever try to leave me like that again, I’ll follow you into death itself and drag you back.”

Her fingers curl into my surcoat. “You can’t—”

“—watch me.” I capture her mouth, claiming her with a kiss that brands my ownership into her very soul.