Page 26 of A Reckless Courtship (A Chronicle of Misadventures #3)

26

SILAS

M ost visitors to Vauxhall gardens did not arrive with a parcel in hand, but Silas gripped the ledger, rewrapped in the paper Arabella had sent it in, tightly between his arm and body as he passed into the gardens.

His eyes were wide and alert as he strode with purpose toward the Chinese Pavilion. He searched the area for any sign of Arabella as he approached the set meeting place, but there was no masquerade tonight, so no one was masked.

It was Miss Fairchild he first spotted and her mother beside her.

His heart dropped. Arabella was nowhere to be seen.

“Where is?—”

“Follow me,” Miss Fairchild said, her eyes flitting to the parcel he held. “I will take you to her.”

Her mother grasped her arm, keeping her from turning away. “You belong at Bedlam if you think I intend to let you go into the Dark Walks without at least two sets of eyes on you, child. We will both show him the way.” She turned back to Silas. “Your aunt is with her.”

Silas nodded, then followed with a thumping heart while the two women led the way into the hedged paths. They turned right and then left, left again, then right. Just when Silas was beginning to wonder if Miss Fairchild had forgotten the way, she stopped and turned to him.

“We required help from the servants to spirit her away, but we managed. She is just around that corner.” She pointed to a place just ahead where the path split.

“Thank you,” he said, then brushed between Mrs. and Miss Fairchild and made his way toward Arabella. When he turned the corner, Aunt Eugenia spun around.

“There you are,” she said.

Silas barely heard her. His eyes were on Arabella. She wore a gown made of the pink satin she had bought at the market at Covent Garden. She took his breath away, and immediately, he knew he had made the right choice to come. Was there anything he would not sacrifice if it meant her happiness was possible?

Aunt Eugenia looked at Arabella, then made a sound of aggravation. “I can see it is an exercise in futility to speak to either of you.” She picked up her skirts and swept past Silas, then around the corner and out of sight.

They stared at one another for a few moments of silence.

“I am so sorry,” she said. It was dark, but her eyes glistened even in the dim light.

He shook his head and took quick steps toward her. “You have no reason to apologize. I am the one who should be doing so.”

It was her turn to protest with a head shake. “You did only what was required for your survival.”

He reached for her hand. “I wanted to tell you. So many times.”

She nodded and squeezed his hand. “The way I reacted when you did only proved your hesitation warranted.”

“How could you not have doubted me when you found me in such suspicious circumstances?” He released her hand and took the parcel from under his arm. “I cannot tell you what it means to me that you would give this to me, Arabella. But I cannot take it.” He held it out to her.

Her eyes widened at the sight of it, but she refused to take it. “You must take it.”

He shook his head, then took one of her hands and placed it gently but firmly around the bound edge of the parcel.

“Why?” she asked, looking at him with a puzzled brow.

“I promised I would never hurt you. I have already broken that promise by my dishonesty. I will not break it again.” He released his hand slowly, leaving the ledger in her hands. “I love you too much.”

Her gaze flickered as she stared at him. She stepped forward, tipping up her chin to meet his gaze. “Do you love me enough to run away with me?”

The silence echoed in Silas’s ears.

“Papa means to send me back to Wetley,” she said. “I cannot go, Silas. I cannot leave you. I love you.”

To hear his true name on her lips, followed by such an admission…the truth of it washed over him, infusing him with warmth and a need too great to be ignored.

He took her face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers.

Gone was the statuesque austerity from the last time he had seen her. She melted into his arms, her lips forming perfectly to his as though two halves of one whole. He had never thought to have the chance to kiss her even once; to do so a second time, and to do it without the weight of dishonesty hanging over him, made him feel weightless and free in a way the ledger never could have.

She broke away. “Is that a yes?” she asked breathlessly.

He cupped her face between his hands and looked into her eyes—the most beautiful eyes in the world. “You truly wish for me to run away with you?”

She nodded.

He kissed her again, softly this time. “I would go anywhere with you, Arabella. But I cannot let you sacrifice everything on a whim.”

“It is not a whim.”

He smiled slightly and brushed a hand along her cheek, reveling in its softness. “And just how long have you been planning to run away with me?”

She laughed and held his hand with hers. “An abrupt change from when I tried to run from you the night we met.”

“You mean the night you called me your husband?”

Her smile grew. “I did call you that, didn’t I? I had forgotten.”

“ I had not. I have been wishing you would call me that in earnest for some time, all the while knowing it was impossible.”

She shook her head. “It is my greatest wish.”

His smile wavered. “Arabella, have you truly thought this through? I am a wanted man. Wanted for murder.”

“Not with this.” She held up the ledger.

He shut his eyes, for the temptation she presented was almost more than he could bear. “ I would gain my freedom, yes, but you…”

She covered his cheek with her hand, forcing him to meet her gaze. “Do you mean to say you would not want me once my name is sullied by the contents of that ledger?”

He took it, set it at their feet, then pulled her into his arms and kissed her. He kissed her and kissed her until he was satisfied there could not be so much as a shred of doubt left in her mind of the strength, depth, or breadth of his feelings.

He pulled back and fixed his gaze on hers. “I permit no one to question the constancy of my love for you.”

“Not even me?”

“Especially not you. Express such doubt again, and I will be forced to take more extreme measures.”

“Hardly a deterrent, is it?”

They laughed softly until Silas gave a sigh.

“Does this mean you will not run away with me?” she asked.

“No,” he said. “But I will marry you. I am not strong enough to deny you such a wish, for it too perfectly aligns with my own. But it must be by special license.”

“How would we acquire such a thing?” The question was warranted, for a special license would give them permission to be wed anywhere of their choosing. It was both expensive and could only be granted by the Archbishop of Canterbury himself.

Understanding dawned on her face. “Your brother.”

Silas nodded. “He will manage.”

“But if I return tonight, Papa will know I have disobeyed him and will ensure I am sent to Wetley without delay.”

Silas considered this for a moment. “You may stay with Aunt Eugenia until we have the license.”

“Will she allow that?”

Silas chuckled. “She will be ecstatic to be involved in such a way.”

Arabella smiled. “I like her.”

“And she you.”

Arabella stooped and picked up the parcel with the ledger inside. “And what of this?”

“That is yours to do with as you will. The contents affect you most nearly. The decision must be yours.”

“Silas,” she said incredulously. “This is your freedom.”

“And it is your father’s life, Arabella. It is your reputation. Your sisters’ reputations. I cannot be the one to make that choice.”

His words seemed to have hit home, for her forehead puckered.

He ran his thumb along the lines to smooth them away. “I am already living the life of a wanted man, and I can continue to do so. I have nothing certain to offer you beyond my love, sure and unwavering as it might be. Take the time to consider the future while you are at Aunt Eugenia’s. If you decide this is all too much, there will be no blame in my heart for you. If you wish to live life with me as a wanted man, I will take you happily and carve out the best life for us of which I am capable.”

“And if I choose to make the contents of the ledger known?” she asked.

“Then,” he said, looking down at her tenderly, “I will be here to hold you and cherish you—and to shield you and your sisters as best I can.”

She let out a slow, trembling breath.

“Take the time you need,” he said softly. “And know that my love is sure, whatever you decide.”