Page 125 of A Queen’s Game (Aithyr Uprising #1)

Chapter Eighty-Two

Marietta, Before

M arietta smiled as she tilted her head back in the sun, enjoying the blistering heat on a beach off the Evgeni Sea.

About an hour outside of Notos, she and Keyain took a day to relax for once, though she still thought about her clients.

Tomorrow she had four meetings set up, one of them being a new business.

A beekeeper, which was a great client to gain considering how often honey is used in Enomenos, be it mead, baking, or general consumption.

Her mother had helped make that connection.

Guilt knotted her stomach at the thought of her parents. She and Keyain were within a day’s ride of their country home, yet she made no plans to go visit them. Not while Keyain was with her, anyway. Oh, the fit her father would throw if he found out about him.

Four years together and Keyain still had never asked to meet them.

“This is nice,” he said, sprawled on a blanket next to her. “You never take a day to relax.”

Marietta laughed at that. “I’d rather be doing something instead of lying around, but I figured one day wouldn’t hurt.”

“This is peaceful.”

“It is,” she murmured back. They were by themselves with just the lapping of the saltwater on the sand and the calling of birds around them. She closed her eyes, letting the wind catch the strands of hair that broke loose from her knot.

“Would you enjoy it if it was always this peaceful?”

Marietta opened her eyes at the question, her mood plummeting. Glancing over, Keyain had propped himself up on his side with his legs stretched before him. “We’re not having this conversation again,” she said, her tone final.

“Mar, we need to talk about it.”

“We don’t.”

“Well,” Keyain said, hesitating, “I would like to.”

“Fine, go ahead. Tell me of how you want to live in the Satiroan countryside in your big, fancy house and make me push out child after child.”

“Why are you like this?” he snapped. “Is having a normal life with me too ridiculous for you? Do you really think we could travel like this for the rest of our lives?”

“No.” She cast her gaze out over the water, watching the ships in the distance.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Marietta swallowed hard, fighting against the bite in her tone. “That I didn’t think we’d ever last this long.”

For a moment, Keyain was quiet. “I can see it, you know. You being a wonderful mother, living in a home—a real home—together. We would have the two sweetest little girls who’d look just like you.”

“Oh, yes, because that’s not crazy at all.” She shook her head.

“I’m allowed to want a family. I’m allowed to dream of that life with you.”

“Go ahead.” Marietta turned her burning stare to him. “As long as I’m your partner, then it will stay a dream.”

Keyain ripped his hand through his hair as he ground his jaw. “Why are you so difficult all the fucking time?”

She laughed mirthlessly. “Let’s play out the scenario, Keyain.

We move to Satiros, into your manor, or whatever bullshit thing you call it.

” Keyain tried to speak, but she talked over him.

“We have these children, two sweet little girls. What happens when they have these?” Marietta flicked the blunted tips of her ears, gesturing to the half-elven shape.

“I will still love them, and you know that,” he ground out.

“Love doesn’t save them from being a lesser citizen!” she yelled. “It sure as fuck wouldn’t save me!”

“No one would treat you any differently—”

“You can’t promise that!” Marietta had turned to him fully, breathless with her anger. “You can’t promise me anything.”

He bit back his answer, running his tongue over his teeth. “There’s a strong chance they’ll look more elven, Mar. There’s plenty of couples in Satiros who have elven-passing children, though one parent is a half-elf.”

“And what happens when they have a noticeably half-elven child?” she hissed.

Marietta couldn’t imagine having a child who was deemed lesser than her by backward laws—how could Keyain?

“There’s still that chance, and I refuse to put a pilinos child’s life at risk by living in Satiros. We’ve been through this.”

Silence settled between them, neither wanting to address the disparity in the future they saw for themselves.

Marietta didn’t want kids. They’d had that fight countless of times.

Keyain once got her to admit she’d be more willing to have a family with him in Enomenos, and he took that as she was open to having kids.

Correcting him grew more exhausting with each fight.

Perhaps she should have listened to her father’s warnings about Syllogi elves. Marietta loved Keyain, but it wouldn’t be possible for them to stay together and both be happy.

Finally, Keyain broke the silence. “I would give almost anything up for you, Mar. Why is it you can’t give up anything for me?”

A lie. He has never given anything up for her, and she was the one with everything to lose. Marietta refused to answer, tucking her knees tight to her chest. Their future had never been so clear.

“As a reminder, Monty will travel with you to Kentro. After that, I’ll send someone else who can stay longer, about a couple of months,” Keyain said while packing his clothes on their last morning in Notos, taking off in just a few hours.

Marietta would head to Kentro, and Keyain would return to Satiros.

Marietta didn’t respond, her throat tightening and her body shaking with what she was about to do.

Keyain was looking over his shoulder at her. “Mar, you okay? You look like you’re about to be sick.”

“Keyain, can you sit?”

“I’ve almost finished packing,” he said, turning back to his clothes.

“Keyain, please,” she begged, her voice cracking as tears filled her eyes.

“Mar?” He turned, his brows furrowed with her expression. With a few blinks, he stood, saying nothing as he sat on the bed. When Marietta sat beside him, Keyain didn’t reach out to touch her—he sensed what was coming.

“Keyain, we want two very different futures.”

He frowned, his eyes watering. “I would have any future with you, even if it’s not the one I want.” He brushed a tear away, looking at Marietta with a sad smile.

“I can’t ask you to do that. You deserve to live the life you want.” Marietta looked down, watching her tears saturate the wooden floor at her feet.

“You don’t have to ask. I’d give everything up to be with you.”

“Yet you keep bringing up kids. You should have the future you want,” she paused, taking a shattering breath. “Keyain, I’m so sorry.” Marietta burst into tears, unable to hold back.

Keyain reached over, pulling her into a hug. Even at that moment, he felt the need to comfort her. “Is this what you want? Do you wish to not be with me?”

Those questions were like a knife to the heart. “I’m so sorry,” she repeated.

Keyain held her as she cried, his hand cradling the back of her head. “It’s alright.” He pushed her hair back to study her face, his green eyes glossy with tears, his face flushed with emotion. “I wasn’t meant to be happy.”

The words cleaved her in two. Marietta loved him, but she needed to let him go. They sat there, holding each other, until finally Keyain wiped his face and got their stuff ready.

Monty met them outside the inn, eyes darting between the two, catching what had happened. Marietta wouldn’t meet Keyain’s gaze; she held her head high in the opposite direction, trying to have some pride still.

Keyain’s heavy footsteps approached behind her, his hand falling on her shoulder. Her lips trembled, turning to him. “I guess this is it, Mar.” He fought back his tears, his jaw tightening.

“It is.” Marietta looked up into his face, memorizing his features. The spattering of freckles. The cut of his cheekbones. The arch of his lips. Each detail she loved, that she would miss.

“Monty will take you to Kentro. I figured you’d find your own guard after that.”

Marietta nodded, tears sliding down her cheeks.

Keyain rubbed his eyes before the tears fell. “I love you so much, Mar, always will.”

“I’ll always love you, too.”

He kissed her one last time, his lips lingering, not wanting to pull away, not wanting the end to come.

Marietta turned from him, gasping for a breath. She couldn’t look at him; she would change her mind.

Monty pulled up the horses beside her. “Ready?”

She mounted her horse, taking a deep breath, and kicked her steed into motion with Monty at her side.

Marietta didn’t let herself glance back to see Keyain standing alone in the middle of the street.

She didn’t let herself imprint the pain of his expression into her mind.

Their futures were separate from one another, regardless of their love.

Or perhaps because of it. She loved him enough to let him go.

Keyain would live in his large house with the kids he always wanted, but Marietta would never be a part of it.