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“I’m just trying to stay ahead of the curve,” Diana assured her. “My wedding will be the only one anyone talks about this year, just you wait. Aubrey has a whole plan in place.”

Jess was suddenly very grateful that Aubrey was the one stuck with that particular plan, and not her.

“Aren’t you worried that the Tillards won’t like this attention?” Jess whispered.

From the two meetings she’d held with the couple, Jess knew that Diana’s Insta aspirations were amongst many arguments Trenton’s family had against the match. Her interest in online clout cemented Diana’s place on the “not our kind, dear” list. To Trenton’s credit, he had managed to ignore his mother’s attempts to set him up with much more desirable, though less attractive, selections from families on “their level.” His resistance only fueled Diana’s belief that she could have both fortune and internet fame. Maybe even her own line of lash extensions.

“Well, that was before their son botched his proposal,” Diana said, giving her shoulders an uncharacteristically inelegant jerk. “It’s a fine line for me to walk, but they’re going to have to adjust. I’m just glad that you’re going to help him give me the most beautiful proposal anybody’s ever seen!”

Jess considered that for a moment. Well, it was not her job to protect Diana from irritating her future in-laws. It was her job to order butterflies and shut up about it. Poppy, who seemed accustomed to demanding guest behavior, finally sloughed Aubrey off with a final, “Well, we’re just happy to have you.”

She nodded to the staff hustling bags into the courtyard. Another staff member moved toward them with a tray of tall glass flutes filled with water and paper-thin green apple slices.

“This is water from the spa’s private spring,” Poppy said. “It will always be available to you, no matter where you are on the property. It’s very important to stay hydrated during your stay. Now, we don’t want to overwhelm you with details in your first few minutes. We want y’all to simply enjoy the view and the quiet and one another before sinking into your treatments tomorrow!”

To Jess, that sounded like heaven, but she was still working this week. It was laser-focused work on one client, but technically still work. Also, she wasn’t sure how much she was going to “enjoy” Aubrey. Jess just wanted to get through this job and retain a little bit of her dignity in the process.

Diana paused to take a selfie in front of the gate’s logo, using a kelly-green selfie stick. Her head bent instinctively at her best angle, beaming. Diana immediately began tapping on her screen, obviously eager to post this affirmation of her entrée into the Golden Ash on the nearest social media platform. But after a few taps, Diana frowned. “I can’t post. I’m not getting any signal.”

“That reminds me,” Poppy said, clearing her throat. “We encourage our guests to engage in a digital detox during your stay. Cell phones are pretty much pointless here at the Golden Ash. Due to the mountain’s topography, we just don’t get a signal. You will not be able to make calls or send or receive texts. None of your apps will work. Your posts simply will not post. We ask that you leave your phones in your villa to avoid the frustration. Relax, unwind, enjoy the natural beauty around you. If you need anything, the house phones connect to the main lodge, which is staffed twenty-four hours a day.”

Jess palmed her phone inside her purse. Knowing that it would be a useless brick of plastic for the week had made sense to Jess on an intellectual level back in the city, but now, surrounded by this ocean of trees, it filled her with an odd feeling of foreboding.

Diana, however, seemed to dread life away from screens more than unknown threats lurking in the forest. Her eyes narrowed at Poppy and her lip curled back as she asked, “And if I don’t want to leave my phone in the villa?”

“Well, it would be very rude to your fellow guests, whose privacy you could be violating, if you’re filming in areas where they might be undressed. Plus, burying your face in your phone while your technicians are devoting their time to taking care of you is a blatant show of disrespect I’m sure you’d want to avoid,” Poppy replied frostily. All traces of her charming “down home” accent had disappeared. It was more than a little unnerving. Diana stared at Poppy as if spa etiquette violations as a philosophical concept had never occurred to her.

Poppy continued, “Not to mention the potential safety hazard of wandering around a mountainside searching for a signal. I’m sure you would want to avoid those perils at all costs. If not, we’re happy to cancel your reservation and charge you for the full length of your planned stay.”

Ooof.

Considering how much Diana wanted access to the Golden Ash, Jess knew this could get very ugly, very quickly. If the owners were willing to eject their party over phone use, what would they do if Diana broke some of the very expensive-looking Edison fixtures Jess saw through the front glass of the lodge? Jess could almost see the wheels turning in Aubrey’s head. Aubrey, who would probably see her wedding contract evaporate if Diana freaked out and caused a destructive scene at the Golden Ash, giving Trenton’s family enough ammunition to talk him out of the wedding.

However, Diana’s only response to this masterwork of blithe verbal redirection was an angry red flush creeping up her cheeks. Jess was suddenly reminded of an incident in the school chem lab sophomore year, when Jenna Turley mysteriously lost the blond fringe bangs that were her signature look. Jenna Turley, who happened to be running for class president against Diana. It was the first pre-election concession speech in the school’s history. And Jenna was allowed to wear a hat to school for the rest of the year, in direct violation of the school’s dress code.

Diana asked, “Surely there has to be some sort of private Wi-Fi network I can connect my phone to, you know, for special cases ? I mean, I think I need my phone more than the average person. What will my Helston LuxeGram followers think if I can’t post for a week ? They’ll think I abandoned them!”

“We encourage our guests to engage in a digital detox during their stay,” Poppy said again, smiling at Diana in an unflinching manner that Jess found a little unnerving. She wasn’t sure if Poppy was trying to make a point or annoy Diana. Maybe it was both? Maybe Jess had accidentally joined a cult?

Jess wasn’t sure that Diana’s hundreds of followers would notice the absence, but she didn’t think that was a helpful thing to add to the conversation. As if she sensed an opportunity for solidarity, Aubrey’s eyes narrowed at Poppy. Her pink-painted mouth thinned. “Surely you can make an exception for such a high-profile guest, Pippa.”

“It’s Poppy,” the woman reminded her cheerfully. “And this is a blanket policy for all guests, to keep things fair. We encourage our guests to engage in a digital detox—”

“During our stay, yes, I know!” Diana seethed. “I just want to do the digital detox while using my phone!”

Jess opened her mouth to ask how Diana thought the two things would be possible simultaneously, but closed it again with a click of her teeth. She wanted to side with Poppy, but Jess had problems of her own, meeting Diana’s demands. She had to focus on that.

“We don’t want to make you feel judged, Ms. Helston, we only want you to get the most out of your experience here,” Poppy assured her.

“How am I supposed to relax when I’m faced with a total collapse of content?” Diana asked, her face turning an unhappy puce. Jess swallowed heavily and thought of Jenna’s singed bangs.

“And how is my fiancé , Trenton Tillard the Fourth, of Tillard Pecans—the man paying your overpriced room fees—supposed to contact me if I don’t have a signal?” Diana demanded, looking down her nose at Poppy. This was a common tactic amongst the well-to-do ladies of Wren Hill, and frankly, Diana’s neck posture was giving Jess flashbacks. “He’s going to be very upset if he doesn’t hear from me regularly.”

“Our office landlines are always available,” Poppy assured her. “And Mr. Tillard can leave a message for you with our front desk, if needed.”

“Do you really feel comfortable intentionally isolating your guests like this?” Aubrey asked.

“Considering how much Mr. Tillard was willing to pay for a short-notice booking? I’m comfortable with our choices,” Poppy retorted with just enough sass to remind Aubrey of the pecking order. Poppy had the commodity they wanted, not the other way around. And it was an impressive strategy, going on the offensive with Aubrey instead of Diana. Jess was going to have to watch Poppy Osbourne. Maybe she could pick up some Diana-management tips.

Diana’s expression relaxed, her mouth quirking up at the corners. Apparently, she liked being reminded that Trenton was willing to outlay outrageous sums of money to keep her happy. Jess supposed this was the whole point of the trip, to push Trenton to show how much he was willing to spoil her, to chase her while he persuaded her to accept his ring.

“Trenton’s going to be very upset,” Diana said again, but her voice was smaller, sadder…fake. It was completely fake. Jess had seen enough brides play the sad, precious little girl act to wheedle a bigger cake out of mommy and daddy. She knew a faker when she saw one. While she gave Diana an internal side-eye, Jess kept her face neutral.

“You did sign your digital check-in forms, acknowledging the expectation that you will leave your phones in the villa,” Poppy reminded her a bit more gently. “But, as I mentioned, if it’s a deal-breaker and you’re happy to forfeit your reservation, we can ring for the shuttle and your whole party can be on your way. But you might want to decide quickly because the drive down the mountain can be risky after dark.”

“We’re going to be all right,” Aubrey said, rubbing Diana’s shoulder in soothing circles. “It’s going to be rough, but it might be good to give Trenton a chance to miss you. Remind him of why he needs you in his life so desperately.”

Diana chewed her (quickly becoming un-LipStinger’d) lip and considered the Golden Ash gate. After a long pause, she rolled her eyes, opened her phone, and tapped her screen several times before powering down.

Jess showed her own blank, unpowered screen to Poppy and dropped it into her purse.

“I know y’all probably hear this all the time, but I’m supposed to be working this week,” she whispered to Poppy. “I’m Jess Bricker. I think my assistant, Mavis, contacted you.”

“Mavis!” Poppy grinned. “She’s a firecracker, that one.”

“I am aware,” Jess told her quietly. “And I hope she explained that I am working on a very limited timeline to prepare a surprise for Diana and I will need to contact the outside world pretty regularly.”

Poppy grimaced. “I still can’t believe Miss Helston brought you on a relaxing retreat so you could work.”

“I’m more support staff than a guest,” Jess said. She pressed her lips together and nodded. “I believe Mavis arranged for me to use your office equipment?”

Another woman, tall and sturdy with what were apparently the Osbourne cheekbones and delicate, long nose, rolled up on an oversized white-and-gold golf cart. She was dressed more casually in barn boots, jeans, and a dark purple angora sweater. Jess wished she had the confidence to pull off the dark pixie cut that emphasized the depths of the newcomer’s dark blue eyes.

“Come visit me at my office, we’ll work something out. We just can’t let the other guests see anything,” Poppy murmured to Jess before approaching the newcomer. “And this is my cousin, Sis, which I know sounds a little funny. Just don’t call her Narcissus.”

Jess wondered if maybe this lovely woman’s mother hadn’t liked her to name her after the most self-centered flower in Greek mythology, but thought it wouldn’t be very nice to ask.

“Not to my face,” Sis snickered, waving at the group. “Hey, y’all. Welcome to the Golden Ash. I am the resident yoga instructor. We’ll take you on a bit of a tour of the grounds as we drive up to your cabin.”

“It’s a villa,” Poppy reminded her.

“It’s a cabin,” Sis retorted. “Calling it anything else is just putting on airs. Anyway, we’re winding down toward the end of our season, so we have a light crowd. You should have plenty of peace and quiet. Hop on.”

Jess glanced around at the grounds, silent and only occupied by a handful of guests wandering the paths in fluffy white robes. They did appear to be considerably more relaxed than Jess felt, so that seemed promising.

Diana said, “I didn’t realize you closed for the season.”

“Oh, absolutely. The roads are too dangerous during the winter to have guests travel here, and we appreciate a little break,” Poppy said cheerfully. “It takes a bit of work to shut everything down. We like to give ourselves time.”

“And of course, limiting your calendar for the year makes you that much more exclusive,” Aubrey said, smirking.

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that because all of our facilities and services are available to you this week!” Poppy chirped as Sis carefully drove the party over the smooth stone paths that wound around the villas. Jess glanced up at the Golden Ash Lodge and spotted a tall, broad-shouldered man in black chef’s togs hauling crates of produce out of a white van. He was a few years older than her and, well, a little unkempt—longish walnut-dark hair and cheeks that needed a shave. His dark eyes met hers and something twisted inside of Jess like a living thing, something that she hadn’t felt in a long time. Want .

An urge to hop off the cart and run to that man to…she wasn’t sure what. Probably something involving nudity and some of those out-of-season strawberries. But given the way he looked away from her the minute they made eye contact, she doubted he would appreciate any fruit-based advances. And she didn’t know why, but Jess averted her gaze, like she didn’t want to violate his privacy while he worked.

“You all right, Jess?” Kiki asked. Jess nodded, breathing deeply through her nose. She hadn’t had a reaction to a man like that in…she wasn’t sure she’d ever had a reaction like that before. This went beyond her normal “just waiting around for the unsolicited dick pic” phase of cautious initial interest. This was visceral…and felt more than a little dangerous out here, so far from home.

How thin was the air up here anyway?

Kiki’s bag fell open as she shifted on the gold vinyl seat and Jess noticed what looked like a gray plastic eyeglasses case stamped with “Helix BioResearch Lab.” It was probably some giveaway from her employer. Diana had said something about Kiki working for a pharmaceutical lab in Raleigh’s Research Triangle.

“So, you took off all week for this?” Jess asked. “Sort of a big ask for a nonofficial wedding event.”

“Well, it’s not exactly a hardship.” Kiki shrugged. “I’ve got the vacation days saved up, and I’m used to the bridesmaid thing. I’ve done it, like, ten times.”

“Really?” Jess marveled at her.

“All of my cousins,” Kiki said, lowering her voice as she glanced over her shoulder at her cousin. “Well, they’re older than us, so Diana and I were flower girls for some of them. And then Diana decided she didn’t want to do that anymore. It was just me as a junior bridesmaid and then bridesmaid. It’s kind of a family tradition. Helstons showing up for one another. At least for the public occasions.”

Kiki gave her a wry grin. Jess shook off the lust fog for Strawberry Guy and resolved to be a little nicer to Kiki. Diana’s cousin was just trying to survive this bridal bonanza without hearing the words “always the bridesmaid” multiple times per day. If anything, Jess owed this girl her patience and a little kindness. And possibly a truckload of improbably flavored vodka.

The golf cart rolled past tiny palaces constructed of river stone and rough cedar, each marked with little signs that read “Stillness Villa” and “Placid Villa.” There seemed to be a theme there. On the porch of Stillness Villa, a tiny blond woman was sitting in the lotus position, holding what looked like an egg-shaped quartz up to the sun, staring at it intently…like, with a weird amount of intent.

“Do you think that’s one of those yoni eggs?” Kiki asked, her lips creeping back into a grimace.

“Oh, why would you put that in my head?” Jess demanded, making Kiki cackle.

This was nice, Jess decided, giggling with someone over something silly instead of stressing out over temperamental marine life and hot-air balloon safety procedures. Maybe she could enjoy this week. Yes, it was going to be a lot of work, but maybe without her phone constantly dinging in her ear, she might be able to unwind a little bit.

“What a beautiful view,” Diana said with a sigh as they took a curve and the expanse of the valley unfolded in front of them. For a moment, Jess wondered if Diana was being affected by the wonder of their natural surroundings. Suddenly, her client turned around in the cart’s seat. “Jessie, be sure to remember that I’ll need a professional lighting coordinator to make sure I have the best possible photographs, no matter where Trenton proposes. Take note.”

So, that would be a no to the transformative power of nature.

Sis hit the brakes with expert gentleness in front of Tranquility Villa. At Harmony Villa, a middle-aged couple in matching plush white robes stood on the front steps. Unlike the Yoni Egg Queen, they did not seem to be embracing the whole “Harmony” vibe.

“Why do you always have to ruin our vacations with this bullshit!” The man was all indignation, his craggy face flushed red to his thick salt-and-pepper hair.

His long-limbed brunette partner was pointing her finger in his face, yelling, “It’s a pattern of behavior , Jeremy Treadaway!”

Jess had witnessed enough “I saw your hand on that bridesmaid’s ass” arguments during her wedding planning days to recognize accurate whisper-hissed accusations of infidelity when she saw them. This couple thought they were pulling it off without being heard in a very quiet environment.

“Harmony Villa, huh?” Kiki murmured.

Jess said, “I don’t think they saw the sign out front.”

Kiki and Jess simultaneously winced as the woman stalked into the villa and came back out in record time, tossing her partner’s suitcase onto the tiny lawn. The suitcase bounced impressively and, unfortunately for the man, landed on its patented easy-gliding wheels before quickly descending down the hill.

The man shouted, “Susan!” before chasing after his runaway luggage.

“What do you think they were like before they came here to relax?” Kiki pondered, making Jess giggle.

Apparently, the giggle was much louder than Jess realized. As over at the Harmony—DisHarmony?—Villa, Susan looked up at her and glared with the force of a thousand frustrated, wounded wives.

Jess sat back a bit in her seat. While she did feel a flush of guilt at finding some humor in this woman’s hurt, Jess also knew she wasn’t responsible for Jeremy’s shit behavior. But…she wasn’t entirely sure Susan was aware of that. Jess looked away, temporarily distracted by their arrival at their villa, Tranquility.

As they climbed the stone steps to Tranquility Villa, Jess wondered whether there was enough lavender salt scrub in the world to soothe you from the stress of your husband cheating—or constant suspicions that he was looking for an opportunity to cheat on a getaway that was probably intended to save the relationship.

Lavender salt scrub could only do so much.

A plan outside Jess’s usual organization system popped into her head, and suddenly, this isolated, beautiful place felt eerily silent. She glanced over her shoulder to see that Susan was glaring at her.

Jess’s Big Book of Life Plans: Stop making eye contact with people who look like they want to remove your face.

Jess turned away from their obviously unhappy neighbors as Poppy announced, “Our cousin and resident herbalist, Jonquil, has written a personalized agenda for each one of you to meet your wellness goals.”

Aubrey held an arm out to prevent Kiki from following Diana too closely as she walked up to the villa’s rustic wooden door. Poppy continued, “Since this is a bridal function, we’ve obviously included more group sessions and activities. But we’ve worked to make sure that each of you gets some alone time. We know that weddings can be stressful. Y’all need time to decompress.”

Diana’s brow furrowed for a moment, as if she didn’t appreciate the suggestion that her wedding was a burden. Jess supposed that was fair, but she wasn’t quite sure that Poppy understood that Jess and Aubrey weren’t the cherished guests in this situation. They were employees, but pointing this out to Poppy in front of the others seemed inappropriate.

“These are your Golden Bliss Keys,” Sis said as she handed a gold-and-white plastic key card to each of them. The front was stamped with the spa’s logo. Jess’s name and “No known allergies” were printed on the back of her card. “Please keep this with you at all times, on the lanyard included in your welcome packet. The cards serve as your room key and your payment method at our gift shop. And they help us track your key swipes within our facilities. You’ll be asked to turn your keys over at the front desk when you check into the treatment and thermal suites. This serves as a safety precaution, reminding the staff members of your presence inside the more private areas of the building. You’ll receive your card again when you sign out.”

Poppy used her own staff key card to open the villa door with a flourish, prompting a happy gasp from Diana. A low fire burned in the enormous river stone fireplace, giving the room a cozy, decadent feel. The sheer number of peachy-pink blooms occupying their villa was almost enough to distract from the dizzying panoramic view of the mountains. It felt like their deck opened out onto the sky.

Diana squealed with delight, reaching into her tiny purse and pulling out the little collapsible green selfie stick again. Poppy frowned as Diana worked to get the full scope of floral arrangements behind her in the shot.

“You did say phones were allowed in the villas,” Diana reminded her, her smile just short of a smirk.

Poppy’s lips were pressed together in a tight line before she agreed. “Yes, I did.”

Diana tapped on her screen, frowning.

“And I told you that there is no signal here,” Poppy reminded her, also barely short of smirking.

“Yes, you did.” Diana grumbled, detaching the selfie stick from her phone and tossing it on the granite counter next to a little coffeepot and clear glass electric kettle near the branded, custom-blended Golden Ash tea.

Diana pouted a bit as she minced over to the window. Jess guessed she was going to try to prove there was some magical signal spot near the glass. She glanced down at the selfie stick, a weirdly artificial, too-bright intrusion in the more organic slate gray stone decor. The plastic was printed with the logo for the Sportsman’s Lodge Motor Inn, a below-budget motel off Route 9.

Weird.

As far as Jess knew, hunting tourism places like that used bottle openers and fridge magnets for marketing. Good for the Sportsman’s Lodge management for their open-mindedness, Jess supposed. It was equally odd to see Diana holding a souvenir from such a “rustic” place, because it felt like she would also fail to acknowledge they existed.

Jess shook it off. With Aubrey around, she needed to keep her head in the game.

“As you can see, the villa has two double rooms,” Poppy said, waving toward two rooms beyond the airy, well-appointed kitchen. “Your agendas for tomorrow are right here on the kitchen counter. Every evening, housekeeping leave personalized updates—which we call a ‘Daily D-Ash’—on your beds. You can use the house phone to contact the front desk if you need anything.”

Jess turned to study the villa’s spacious living area, crowded with lovely floral arrangements in a warm peachy pink. In fact, there were splashes of that same peachy pink all over the villa—in accent pillows and comfy blankets apparently added just for their arrival.

“That is a lot of pink,” Jess murmured.

“ That is Diana’s signature color—Cameo Coral,” Kiki told her. She handed Jess a glass of what Poppy called a rehydrating smoothie. “It’s a rare shade of pink that looks universally good on redheads, and it’s the exact color of an heirloom cameo that Great-Grandmother Helston left to her in the will, much to the collective envy of all our aunts and girl-cousins. Personally, I think it’s a little tone deaf to style yourself in a shade of dead microscopic sea-creature material, but she doesn’t ask my opinion of these things.”

Jess snorted into her purple smoothie, which tasted of summer berries and coconut water. Now that Jess thought about it, Diana had been wearing a “Cameo Coral” dress when she’d shown up at the aquarium. Most likely, she’d picked up on Trenton’s no-doubt highly telegraphed intentions to propose that night and dressed for the occasion. Sadly, Trenton hadn’t lived up to Diana’s expectations. Jess wasn’t sure who would, without someone like her to help interpret those nuanced, detailed, and almost entirely internalized demands.

Jess glanced down the hall, into the guest rooms, where she could see yet more Cameo Coral waiting for them in the form of welcome bags, flowers, and soft cashmere throws across the beds. Jess wondered how much Trenton was being billed for these special add-ons, but she figured that was his problem.

Kiki added, “Diana chose her sweet sixteen dress and her prom dress to match it—even though she didn’t actually wear the cameo on either occasion. She just loves how the color brings out the rose tones in her complexion. Anyone involved in the Tillard-Helston wedding needs to understand, anything inanimate will be coral—flowers, stationery, table linens. The works.”

Jess was again glad she wasn’t going to be involved in the Tillard-Helston wedding. She was already sure “dead microscopic sea-creature material” wasn’t her color.

The sleeping space coup that followed happened so quickly, Jess had barely processed the machinations before Aubrey ushered Diana into a room marked with a custom coral “Bridal Suite” sign. Aubrey had smirked at Jess, catlike as Diana practically floated, before announcing that she’d had the staff unpack their suitcases—Aubrey with Diana, Kiki with Jess. “I need face time with Diana, so we can plan her big day. Besides, Jess, if the bags under your eyes are any indication, you’re a total insomniac. And it wouldn’t be fair to Diana if you kept her awake all night, reading or sad-journaling or whatever. Can you imagine, having the gall to deprive her of sleep right now?”

Jess merely blinked at her. Thanks to a healthy supply of melatonin gummies, Jess usually slept well. She did have the occasional nightmare about headlights slashing through rain and her mom’s too-loud cackle. Sometimes those nightmares made her yell in her sleep, but that was none of Aubrey’s business.

“OK, then.” Eyebrows furrowed at Aubrey’s continued fucking weirdness, Jess turned away into what was now her room and found Kiki already stretched out on a bed.

“I don’t mind if you stay up late reading.” Nodding at Jess, Kiki pulled a tiny wireless bud from her ear. “My college roommates were pretty intense about their all-night study sessions.”

“What the?” Jess gasped as Kiki tucked the earbud into a special carrying case, whisper-hissing as she closed the door. “Do you have some sort of high-tech spy phone that gets a signal up here? Is that what you’re really working on in your mad scientist lab?”

“No. I was secretly listening to a true-crime podcast for most of the day with a practically undetectable earbud.” Kiki sighed. “I have a bunch of them downloaded on my phone. It’s the only way to survive family dinners. I couldn’t very well take it out in the limo and blow my cover.”

“I could not envy you more, you diabolical wench,” Jess said, marveling. Kiki giggled.

Jess glanced around the room, which somehow managed to look cozy despite the gray tones and rustic slate finishes. She supposed the Cameo Coral throws and flowers helped—plus the little gas-powered stone fireplace, already burning low. Between low-key bullying and the luxurious surroundings, Jess felt the familiar sensation of her middle-class roots creeping up, wrapping her in discomfort and shame. What was she doing here? She didn’t belong in a place like this.

Jess reached up to touch the pearls at her throat, frowning slightly. She supposed she shouldn’t judge Diana about the Cameo Coral, since Jess was also technically wearing dead sea-creature material.

“Jessie?” Diana called across the hall. “You should really consider some different shoes for dinner. You’re representing me when you’re here. Remember, the essence of luxe positivity is ‘external attentiveness, internal affirmation.’ Your shoes are neither.”

Jess’s mouth dropped open. What the hell did that even mean?

Turns out, she was perfectly comfortable judging Diana.