Page 31 of A Promise of Forever (The Vallaverse #3)

Sterling

It's been almost an hour of little snacks and laughter as I slowly become more comfortable around Astra.

He's bold and bright and so goddamn happy in ways I've never experienced an Omega being.

There's no fear in his eyes, no careful calculation of how to avoid punishment or displeasure.

He just exists freely, taking up space and expressing opinions without worrying about consequences.

I want that. I want to be like him, confident and unafraid.

I moved into Astra's makeshift nest on the floor about twenty minutes ago, leaving the safety of Forrest's lap to test my ability to exist separately.

It felt like a big step, choosing to sit with another Omega rather than clinging to my Valla's protection.

But Astra made it easy, patting the space beside him with an encouraging smile and immediately including me in whatever he was doing.

Now we're giggling over champagne that Astra insisted I try, the bubbles tickling my nose and making everything feel lighter and more fun than it should. He's showing me pictures on his phone of one of the fighters who apparently has a massive crush on Thea, though she pretends not to notice.

"Look at his face in this one," Astra snorts, zooming in on a photo where the fighter is staring at Thea with obvious longing while she's completely focused on her tablet. "He's been like this for months. It's adorable and pathetic at the same time."

I giggle, the champagne making me feel more relaxed than I would otherwise. "Does she know?"

"Of course she knows," Astra says with an eye roll. "Thea knows everything. She's just waiting to see if he'll actually grow a spine and ask her out properly instead of just mooning after her like a lost puppy."

The casual way Astra talks about romance and relationships fascinates me. Like it's normal and expected rather than dangerous and complicated. I find myself asking questions I've been too afraid to voice before.

"How can you be so forward with what you want?" My voice is softer than I intended, my face flushing with heat as I hide behind my glass. "You just say things and ask for things like it's nothing."

Astra's expression softens with understanding, like he recognizes exactly where I'm coming from.

"It took a lot of time to get to this point.

I didn't use to ask for anything. I'd just wait and hope someone would notice what I needed, or I'd try to earn things by being perfect and compliant.

" I can't imagine Astra ever being like that, but beneath that sunshine personality, I catch a hint of pain that must have come with his past. "But it soon became clear that if I asked, they'd give," Astra continues, gesturing toward where our mates are talking.

"They'd make sure I got what I needed. And there was no consequence for asking.

The worst they could say was no or not now, but there was never any pain that came with asking for what I wanted. "

I process that information, trying to reconcile it with my own experiences, where asking for things always resulted in punishment or mockery before Forrest. The idea that I can or will be able to voice my needs without fear of retaliation feels foreign and slightly impossible.

"The best part?" Astra adds with a mischievous grin. "They love it when I tell them what I want. It turns them on, makes them feel needed and trusted. Being able to provide for me, to give me exactly what I'm asking for, that's like crack for them."

I blush at the explicit way he talks about his mates' reactions, but I can't help remembering the few times I've told Forrest what I needed.

When I said red and he stopped immediately.

When I asked him to kiss me and he looked at me like I'd given him a gift.

When I used my words and he told me how proud he was of me.

Maybe Astra is right. Maybe the key really is telling Forrest what I want and what I need, rather than waiting for him to guess or trying to earn his attention through perfect behavior.

I glance back over at our mates, seeing Forrest through a different lens.

He makes some comment, Bryn's hearty laugh rumbling through the space as Caelan throws them both the middle finger, his phone attached to his ear.

Thea comes in with a book tucked under her arm a few moments later, settling into one of the chairs and immediately getting pulled into the conversation with the others.

Watching them all interact so easily makes me wonder about my place in this world. Am I supposed to integrate into these business discussions? Should I be trying to help somehow?

"You don't ever feel left out or like this is all too much?" I ask Astra, gesturing toward the others.

Astra looks genuinely confused by the question. "What do you mean? I get to do whatever I want. I could have stayed home tonight if I wanted to be alone or felt overwhelmed. But here, I get to spend more time with my mates while they work. It's the best of both worlds."

He shrugs like the answer is obvious, and maybe for him it is. But I'm still struggling to understand how to exist in Forrest's world without feeling like I'm either in the way or not contributing enough.

"I have a part-time job at one of the local galleries," Astra continues, apparently reading my need for more explanation.

"I paint, and they display my work. It's not about the money since Caelan and Bryn provide everything I could possibly need.

It's about having something that's mine, you know?

Something I do because I enjoy it rather than because I have to. "

The concept is so foreign to me that I struggle to process it. Work has always been about survival, about earning enough money to eat and have shelter. The idea of doing something just because I enjoy it seems like a luxury reserved for people who've never had to run for their lives.

"I have security that follows me around when I'm at the gallery," Astra admits with a slight grimace.

"That took some getting used to. Having someone watching my every move felt suffocating at first. But they stay back, give me space, and I've learned to appreciate that my mates care enough to make sure I'm safe even when they can't be with me. "

I try to imagine having security following me around, people whose entire job is just to make sure nothing bad happens to me. The thought is both comforting and terrifying.

"I don't think I want to do all that," I say honestly, not sure what "all that" even means, but knowing it feels like too much.

Astra hums in response and then downs the rest of his champagne before dropping himself up on the pillows. "What do you want to do, Sterling?"

The question stops me cold because I have absolutely no answer. "I have no idea. I just... It's nice not having to run anymore."

The admission feels small and pathetic, but it's the truth. Right now, just existing without constant fear feels like enough of an accomplishment. I don't have the mental capacity to think about jobs or hobbies or building a life beyond basic survival.

Astra offers me a sympathetic grin. "Yes, yes, it is nice. I always thought I'd be out there on my own forever and never stay anywhere long enough to call it home. Now, I can't imagine a day without my mates, without the security of knowing exactly where I belong."

I manage a small smile, thinking about Forrest's words from earlier. How he said he was falling in love with me, how he promised to adapt his world to make space for me, just like his father did for his Omega parent.

I let out a little huff of breath, looking over toward where Forrest stands with Bryn, then back to Astra.

He snorts as he sits up fully to grab a handful of grapes from the food tray.

“You're wondering what happened to me before here, aren't you?

It's fine. I… stripped at a few of the clubs around the state. Paid good money, but I was taught I was only as good as my best performance. Which is why I was always trying to please Bryn and Caelan.”

That explains how comfortable Astra is talking about certain things, but now I'm imagining what would even take place in a club like that or how it would work.

“Don't hurt yourself, Sterling. I'm not sure it would be your thing and I only do private shows for my mates upon request or when I need something.” He catches my sudden confusion.

“Seriously? We're Omegas. We can literally use our bodies as a weapon to get anything we want. Believe me, when you figure out how to control your emotions a little better, Forrest will be at your feet.”

I'm not sure if I want that. Not that, Forrest isn't already doing everything I could ask for right now. I go to ask another question when something shifts in the atmosphere, a tension that makes my Omega instincts perk up with alarm.

I look up to see Forrest's lip turning up in a snarl, his expression transforming from business-focused to dangerous in an instant. Caelan immediately goes over to him, and they have a brief, intense conversation that I can't hear from this distance.

I sit up straighter in the nest, anxiety flooding back through the champagne haze. Forrest stalks over toward me with that predatory grace that should terrify me, but instead makes me brace for impact while also craving his presence.

He softens the moment he gets close, all that dangerous energy redirecting away from me.

Forrest leans in for a kiss but stops a few inches short, giving me the choice to close the distance or pull away.

The consideration, even in the midst of whatever's making him angry, makes my heart swell with emotion.

I press the rest of the way forward, letting Forrest claim my mouth with his. The kiss is possessive and grounding, reminding me that I'm his and he's mine regardless of whatever business crisis is happening. I moan into the embrace, my hands coming up to grip his shoulders.

When we finally break apart, Forrest's voice is rougher than usual, barely contained rage coating his words. "Caelan and Astra are staying up here with you, but I need to take care of something downstairs."

I don't want to let him go. The thought of being separated right now, when I'm feeling vulnerable and slightly drunk on champagne, makes panic flutter in my chest. But I force myself to lean back and ask the question that matters most.

"You'll come back to me, though, right?"

Forrest's expression softens completely, all traces of his earlier snarl disappearing. "The moment I'm done, we'll go home. Together. I promise."

The reassurance helps, though I still feel uneasy about him leaving. "Okay."

Forrest presses one more quick kiss to my forehead, before he and Bryn head for the door with Thea following. The viewing box suddenly feels much emptier and quieter without their presence.

Caelan moves to sit on the couch, positioning himself where he can see both Astra and me while also keeping an eye on the activities below. I look at him with questions written all over my face, needing to understand what just happened.

"Apparently, some fucker thought it'd be good to bring drugs into the club," Caelan explains with obvious frustration written all over his face.

"So my brother is taking care of it personally.

Usually, it would be me or Lorcan handling enforcement, but these idiots aren't getting the hint.

They'll get the hint when Forrest and Bryn show up. "

The casual way he discusses violence as problem-solving still throws me off balance. However, the fact that an Alpha has to sit back and let a Valla step in makes me wonder how Caelan deals with everything. "Do you ever feel slighted? That Forrest handles things instead of letting you do it?"

Caelan just shakes his head, reaching forward to run his fingers through Astra's hair.

"Maybe I used to feel that way when I was younger and trying to prove myself.

But that's not my job function, and I don't want it to be.

I'm not an enforcer and I have no desire to be one.

I like where I am in this organization, managing fighters and coordinating logistics. That's what I'm good at."

I nod, appreciating his honesty. Then I sit up a little more to look down into the ring below, drawn by some instinct I don't fully understand. I frown when I see a very beat-up Alpha struggling to get to the exit door, security personnel flanking him on both sides to make sure he actually leaves.

"That's Dorian," Caelan says, following my line of sight.

"He shorted us several hundred thousand dollars and apparently he's one of the sources bringing drugs into the venue.

Forrest dealt with him when you guys came much earlier this morning, but he showed up tonight to announce transferring his fighters like Forrest demanded. "

Recognition clicks in my mind. "That's the man Forrest hurt yesterday. The one he told me about."

Astra shifts in the nest, drawing closer to Caelan, his voice taking on a defensive quality. "He does it for good causes, though. The violence, I mean. It's not random or cruel. It's about protecting people and maintaining order in a world that doesn't have normal rules."

I shake my head, cutting off his explanation. "You don't need to explain it to me or justify what Forrest does. I'm not scared of him, not really. I'm trying to wrap my head around how his world works, but I know I'm safe with him. And I know he loves me."

Caelan's head snaps toward me, his eyebrows raised in surprise. "Hold up, my brother said he loves you?"

Heat floods my cheeks. "He said he's falling for me. That he thinks he's already falling in love."

Astra grins like this is the best gossip he's heard all week. "How do you feel about it? Do you love him back?"

The question makes my chest tight with complicated emotions I don't have words for. "I want to tell him that I'm falling too. But I don't want to wake up from this dream, you know? What if saying it out loud makes everything disappear?"

The Alpha lets out a small grunt, his chest falling with a heavy sigh. "This isn't a dream, Sterling. It's real and it's permanent if you want it to be. Forrest doesn't do anything halfway, especially not when it comes to people he cares about."

I manage a small smile at his reassurance, but doubt still gnaws at the edges of my hope. I curl up more comfortably in Astra's nest and close my eyes, letting the champagne buzz and exhaustion pull me toward sleep.

Until Forrest makes everything permanent with a bonding bite, until Wilson is completely out of my life and can never hurt me again, this can't truly be forever.

No matter how much I want it to be. No matter how much I'm already falling in love with a Valla who promised to adapt his entire world just to make space for me.