Page 59 of A Mutually Beneficial Proposal

Ella

My first planwas to go find a new hotel and hang out until morning, but I don’t trust myself. If Owen searches for me and finds me, I’ll be tempted to hear him out, and I don’t want to. I can’t stand the thought of being lied to. I know what I saw, and I won’t be convinced of anything else.

To avoid that happening, I go straight to the airport and cry a little when I pay nearly a thousand dollars for a flight that doesn’t even get me home today. No, this one goes to Philadelphia, where I’ll sleep in the airport—or more likely, sit rigid in my seat until dawn—before my flight back to Charlotte departs at the ass crack of dawn.

But it’s better than staying in Saint Lucia and dealing with the shitshow I’ve gotten myself into. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.

I try to think of the positives as I move through security. At least this time there isn’t a dildo in my carry on. Though, I wouldn’t be sad if I somehow got upgraded to first class again.

I manage to survive going through the metal detector and having my bag checked by security with only five minutes to spare before boarding begins. As much as I want to grab some snacks for the five-hour flight, I head straight to my gate. I’ll have plenty of time for food when I’m sitting in Philadelphia all night.

When I arrive, they’ve already begun calling first class, and I don’t see my name on the screen. I guess it’s an aisle seat just a few rows from the bathroom for me. Whatever. At least I’m getting home without any further drama.

It’s Thursday, and I don’t have to be back at work until Monday. I intend to spend my flight finding something else for me to do on my own. Windsurfing had been just what I needed. Only, it hadn’t given me the clarity I should have been looking for.

I made a mistake when I thought it was a good idea to take things further with Owen. Seeing him with Natalie reminded me why I should have stuck to my plans and spent these last few days by myself.

Maybe another adrenaline rush will point me in the direction of self-discovery. Maybe it will only end with broken bones. I don’t know, but I’m ready to find out.