Page 38

Ivy had made a list. It wasn’t very long – only a few items from her talk with Millie – and she hadn’t time to alphabetise it, but it sat on her desk, and she stared at it with wide eyes. Could she actually do this? Did she want to do this?

Yes. And if it becomes too much, he will stop. He will wait.

The truth of that gave her courage. Courage swiftly transformed into complete anxiety when Edward knocked on her door. Because it had to be him on the other side. No one else was knocking for Ivy. She didn’t want anyone else knocking.

Standing, she brushed her hand over her dress, strode to the door, opened it before she could change her mind, and promptly lost all power of speech.

Good gracious, he is handsome.

His black hair showed evidence of recently being disturbed, no doubt by running his fingers through it.

Eyes so dark they could have been black were hooded and hidden in the hall’s shadows.

His firm jaw looked rough with stubble. He had removed his jacket and cravat.

His shirt showed a V of skin at his throat.

Ivy tried to swallow.

‘May I come in?’ Edward’s low voice created a buzz in her belly echoing over her skin.

Words were too difficult with all the butterflies swarming from her stomach to her throat. Instead, she nodded and stepped back, granting him entrance to her inner sanctum.

Edward moved with carefully controlled grace as if he might spook Ivy. As if she might run.

If I did run, would he chase me?

And why did the thought of Edward pursuing her create an illicit thrill down her spine?

What might he do if he caught me?

More ideas to add to her list.

His sharp gaze took in the neatly made bed, the hook holding Ivy’s nightgown and wrap, her neat desk. The list.

Dear Lord. The list. I should have hidden it.

He stepped closer and picked up the parchment.

‘Wait, don’t.’ Ivy took a jolting step forward, but it was too late. Pulling out the glasses she found so appealing, he perched them on his nose. His wicked lips tilted in a knowing smile as he looked from what was in his hands to Ivy. The flare of desire she saw in his eyes froze her to the floor.

Bloody hell.

Heat rose from her chest up her throat and over her cheeks.

‘You’ve made a list.’

Well, there’s no getting out of this now. In for a penny, in for a pound.

Ivy thrust her chin out and schooled her expression to remain calm. ‘I have.’

‘There are only three items on this list. And one is in Latin.’

It was quite possible Ivy’s embarrassment would run so hotly through her body, she would melt into a puddle, thus ending this awkward conversation.

‘Are you unfamiliar with L-Latin?’ Her voice came out as a high-pitched squeak.

Edward took off his glasses and tapped them against the parchment while his gaze burned through her. ‘Quite the contrary. Latin is one of my favourite languages. Only, this word begins with a “c”. It should be at the top of your list, but it’s at the bottom.’

‘I didn’t have time to alphabetise it.’

Edward’s firm mouth parted. ‘Ah. Of course.’ He returned his attention to the parchment. ‘Kissing. Touching. And then…’ Edward folded the parchment and placed it carefully onto the desk with his glasses. ‘Perhaps we should start at the top.’

Ivy blinked rapidly. ‘Yes. All right.’

‘Kissing.’ His gaze shifted from her lips to her breasts, to lower still before returning to her eyes. ‘Where would you like me to kiss you, Ivy?’

Where, indeed.

Directing their explorations seemed like a grand way to maintain control, but now, in the moment, she felt overwhelmed.

Tapping her finger against her skirt, she focused on the V of skin peeking from Edward’s shirt.

Tears threatened. Not from fear, but frustration.

After speaking with Millie, she had a much more vivid view of what might happen between a man and a woman, but she had no idea how to communicate her desires to Edward.

‘Ivy, I can leave right now. Or we can sit and talk. Nothing need happen tonight if you do not wish it.’

Frustration slipped into anger as she watched his desire fade into concern.

He misunderstood her hesitance. It wasn’t that she didn’t want him; it was that she wanted more than she could articulate.

‘I don’t want you to leave. I’m not some fragile thing, Edward.

I don’t wish to be treated like I might break. ’

Clenching his jaw and exhaling through his teeth, Edward crossed his arms over his chest. ‘All right. What do you want, then?’

‘I don’t know!’ She bit her lip as a tear escaped and tracked down her cheek. ‘I want more. That’s all I know.’

‘What about your list?’

Ivy shook her head. ‘There’s only those three things because I can’t… Millie explained what can happen, but I don’t know how it would actually work.’ She waved between the two of them. ‘With real people. Not that Millie isn’t a real person. Or Drake. That’s not what I’m saying.’

Edward grabbed her flailing hand and pulled her a step closer, pressing a kiss against her palm. ‘You haven’t done any of those things, so how can you know what you might like?’

‘Yes. Exactly.’ Relief eased some of her roiling emotions as she dashed the tear away with the back of her free hand.

‘I know you wish to give me control, and I want that. But I also want to learn what pleases me. What pleases you. I can’t direct you in areas where I have no expertise.

I need a teacher, Edward, and you are the only man I trust to do the job. ’

Edward exhaled a shaky breath. ‘You trust me?’

Something fell into place within her, a sense of rightness that solidified her decision. ‘I do.’

He shook his head, his mouth parting and his eyes sparking with an emotion she couldn’t name. Wonder, perhaps. Awe. It was overwhelming to have Edward look at her so intensely. She almost stepped away.

‘Right.’ He nodded his head, his expression shuttered once more. Pulling her closer, he stopped when their bodies were a breath apart. Before Ivy could retreat, he gripped her waist, holding her steady. ‘I propose an amendment to our earlier plan.’

Ivy was distracted from his words by the bite of strong fingers flexing against her hip. Wet heat bloomed between her thighs.

Letting go of her hand, he trailed his fingers up her arm, tangling them in her hair as he gripped her neck.

Tipping her chin up, his words whispered against her lips.

‘The headmistress shall become the pupil. We will address each item on your list, but as your teacher, I will make additions as needed. I shall take the lead, but you always have the reins. You will stop me if you feel frightened or overwhelmed. But I won’t stop unless you tell me to do so. ’

He knew she wasn’t a porcelain doll who might shatter at the least provocation. She was strong and resilient. Powerful and profound. But she was also fragile and frightened by her past. Some miracle of fate had brought her a man who understood the dichotomy of her soul.

‘So, if I tense up, or can’t find the right words, you won’t think it’s because I’m afraid?’

‘Exactly. I won’t assume just because you are feeling apprehensive or nervous that you wish to end our explorations.

But if you say “stop”, I always will. Teaching you pleasure is my greatest honour, but I would never forgive myself if you walked away from this hurt in any way. Are you amenable to this plan?’

Yes!

It was a brilliant suggestion that alleviated the pressure of making all the choices while still giving her ultimate control.

Her heart cracked and something warm and sweet filled her chest. ‘I am.’ Tilting her chin a fraction higher, she pressed her mouth against his, sealing their deal with a kiss and granting him permission to lead them on this adventure.

She thought he would continue kissing her, but he stepped back three paces and started unbuttoning his waistcoat. ‘You were looking at my throat earlier. Were you wishing to see more?’

The man is a mind reader.

‘Yes.’ It was a bold statement, and she felt the power of owning her desire. She did want to see more of him, and she wouldn’t pretend otherwise.

I want to see all of him.

‘Have you ever seen a naked man before?’ As he spoke, Edward removed his waistcoat and draped it over the one chair in her room. Before she could answer, he began on the buttons holding his linen shirt closed.

If a fire broke out in the orphanage, Ivy wasn’t sure she could tear herself away from this moment. Edward undid the last button halfway down his shirt and waited.

‘No.’

‘Do you want to see me?’

‘Yes,’ she breathed.

Reaching behind him, he gripped the back of his shirt and, in a fluid movement, pulled the linen over his head, letting it drop next to the waistcoat on the back of the chair.

His body was an homage to the beauty of the male form.

Thick arm muscles bunched and shifted as he rubbed one hand over his chest. Ivy followed his fingers.

He brushed them over flat, dark nipples.

His stomach was divided into six defined ridges of hardened flesh.

Hipbones jutted out, and a V of ridged muscle on either side of his abdomen disappeared into low-slung breeches.

A defined bulge grew even larger where the placket of his breeches strained against three small buttons.

His large hand swept lower, blatantly rubbing the evidence of his arousal. He hissed out a breath.

She never imagined looking at a man’s naked torso would cause so many sensations to spark to life. Her skin felt tight, her nipples constricting into two sharp points. Her heart was thudding so hard, she felt the pulse in her fingertips. Tingling turned to a hollow ache between her thighs.

‘Touch me, Ivy.’ True to his word, he was directing her. Instead of sparking fear or fury, his command came as a relief. Because she wanted to touch him, and his words gave her permission.