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“And then you started with your talk of marriage pacts and helpmeets. I found I really wanted you.” His throat closed over the words.

“You saved me from that jester, then you saved me from the wretched existence I had eked out for myself. I was—” He broke off frustratedly.

“I did not even know what I was missing out on until you came into my life. I was...miserable. I felt totally alone. Every connection felt like a burden to me, even my brother, if I am honest.” His eyes avoided hers and he looked heartily ashamed.

Gunnilde considered. “Neville told me once that he guilted and plagued you for money as the rest of your family do. He said you were overburdened with cares.”

“Did he say that?” She nodded, and he was quiet for a moment.

“He has improved greatly since your brother and his friends came into our lives, you know. He has not even complained of any maladies plaguing him of late. He was constantly imagining himself ill at one time, mostly from boredom and lack of purpose, I suspect.”

“I think he should take on some responsibilities. It is high time.”

“You mean marriage?” James asked, slanting a look at her. There was the ghost of a smile playing about his mouth.

Gunnilde started guiltily. “James, I promise you,” she said fervently, “I meant what I said. Never, never again will I interfere or meddle with the love lives of others. I have learned my lesson. I wrought so much disaster upon everyone.” She shuddered. “Today was proof enough of that.”

“What are you talking about?” he interrupted. “I do not care one whit if you take up your matchmaking again. Not now I feel assured of your heart. I think you should find husbands for Harriet and Winifred and even Mistress Bartree, should it please you!” She stared.

“It only irritates me that fool Farleigh now gazes after you like a lovesick swain but that is hardly your fault. If he was too stupid to realize his feelings before it was too late, then that is his own tragedy. Besides, I am glad he was oblivious, that worked out all the better for me.”

“Sir Douglas is not in love with me,” Gunnilde said sensibly.

“He is merely tired of strife and contention and looks back to a time in his life when he found sympathy and comfort from another. Me. There was nothing remotely lover-like about his behavior when we used to meet. He used to spend the whole time sighing over Constance.”

James pulled a face. “Constance!” he uttered with disgust. “If you ask me, I was damnably lucky that you convinced her to run off with another!”

“James!” she gasped. “Surely you do not think—?”

“Oh, I know you did not actually recommend she should elope,” he assured her with a wave of his hand. “I just mean that if your espousing Sir Douglas’s cause enabled me to escape that fate, then I am both relieved and grateful.”

“I myself feel quite sorry for Constance,” Gunnilde said truthfully. “Her family are clearly more concerned with preserving the status quo than they are securing her future happiness. Do you think their marriage will end up being annulled?”

“I have no idea and I would rather not speculate,” James responded smartly. “Instead, I would rather we continued talking of ourselves. Did you really mean what you said just now? About your being content married to a mere musician instead of a tourney-goer?”

She snorted. “I don’t see that there is any ‘mere’ about it!

You are likely soon to become the foremost musician in the land!

And I want to make it plain once again that the Queen quite misrepresented me earlier.

I never intended to give the impression that you would not accept a royal appointment.

If I did that, then I am heartily sorry for it. ”

“I know,” he said dismissively. “You already explained.”

“Yes, but I was not sure you entirely understood,” she said earnestly. “James, you must believe that I support your career fully and am very proud of your talent and achievements.” When he hesitated, she was filled with dismay. “What have I ever done to make you doubt that fact? Please tell me.”

“It was only that you have felt so distant these past few days. I thought perhaps you were bored that day we spent at Barnabus Hall. I would not blame you if that was the case,” he said hurriedly.

“Oh no! Not at all!” she answered with spirit. “You must never think that, James. I thought it was wonderful. I liked Master Gregory and the others a good deal, I assure you.”

“Then why did you retreat from me directly after?” he asked simply.

Gunnilde dropped her gaze as she tried to vocalize her thoughts.

“I suppose I was somewhat awed by the experience,” she admitted softly.

“I had no idea about the sheer enormity of your talent.” He gave a short laugh as though she jested.

“I am in deadly earnest, James!” she exclaimed, feeling stung.

He stared at her. “You are, aren’t you?” he said slowly. She nodded, tears gathering in her eyes before she wiped them away impatiently.

“But why should it make you sad?” he asked in confusion.

“I do not know,” she replied in a choked voice. “Because of the disparity I felt opening up between us. Because at the time, I felt that you were too wonderful to belong with someone so ordinary and forgettable as I.” She swiped her eyes again, and James pulled her hands away from her face.

“Forgettable?” he repeated incredulously.

“My horned temptress who flaunts herself in the halls of palaces? I hardly think so! Don’t you know how infatuated I am with you, Gunnilde?

How I have been from the start? How truly loved you are by your family and your friends?

How influential you are here at court?” He shook his head.

“Being buffeted with lances and repeatedly knocked off his horse has doubtless scrambled what little brains Bevan ever possessed. He needed a lesson in humility, and I for one am glad Mistress Fern has delivered him one.”

“It was not Mistress Fern who cursed him but some old crone in the marketplace.”

“Whoever it was, he is deserving of his punishment.”

“Well, hopefully it will not be of too long a duration. I honestly wish him well.”

When James narrowed his eyes but did not speak, she gave a watery laugh. “I was not thinking of Sir Ned’s words when I described myself just now. Just...my own mediocrity.”

“Do not speak of yourself like that,” he said sternly. “I would not suffer anyone else to speak of you thus, and neither should you.”

She considered this a moment. “No, you’re right,” she concluded. “And truth to tell, I did not really suffer it that time either. Did I never tell you how I responded to Sir Ned that day?”

“No. Tell me now.” So, she did. “Tell me again,” he said at once. She repeated the story, and he nodded slowly. “I can almost picture their faces when you whipped back that curtain.”

“You’re not going to write a piece of music about it, are you?” she asked with misgiving at the end of her tale.

“I almost think I could, you know,” he said, looking suddenly thoughtful.

“Really?”

He nodded. “Now tell me, was it immediately after that incident you came to court?”

“I did.”

“You’re magnificent, Gunnilde, you must know that. Come here,” he murmured, drawing her against him, holding her close. “I want always to be as close to you as this,” he said, “all the time.”

Gunnilde closed her eyes and let herself enjoy the moment and the sentiment. James did not think she was forgettable. He thought she was magnificent. “When you say it started early for you, I was wondering...how early?”

“Our wedding night,” he answered at once, so promptly that Gunnilde caught her breath.

“I thought it would take years for me to accustom myself to having a wife,” he carried on.

“It was always my plan to send any bride to Wycliffe Hall as soon as I could do so, without causing comment. But it was nothing like that with you. And I was so shocked. Shocked at my own reaction to your lying in my bed.” He huffed out a breath of air. “I had no idea it would affect me so.”

“But you...you did not wish to consummate our marriage at the time,” she reminded him in confused accents.

He snorted. “Oh yes I did. I was in an agony that first night.”

“On our wedding night?” She was incredulous. “I had no notion!”

“I know. You were chattering away, all friendly and sweet, and I was lying there with a cock-stand, feeling guilty and damnably confused.”

“Oh, James!” she chuckled. “You poor thing!”

“I was such a fool,” he said, smoothing her hair back from her face. I knew I found you damnably attractive, but I was still trying to pretend to myself I did not.”

“And so you lay there in the dark suffering,” she tutted.

“Yes.”

“I would have taken pity on you, if you had only told me.”

“Would you?” He caught his breath.

“Oh yes.”

“What would you have done?” he asked.

“Hmm...” She appeared to consider this. “Perhaps found some way to alleviate your suffering. Let you touch me. Perhaps...touched you.”

“Touched me?” he asked, his voice raspy.

“Yes.”

“Where?”

“Wherever you wanted.”

“You did not like me then though,” he reminded her with a frown. “I would not have wanted you to feel...obligated.”

“I started to like you a little at our wedding banquet,” she admitted. “You were so...skittish and awkward that my heart quite went out to you.”

He groaned. “You felt sorry for me, you mean, that is not the same as liking.”

“You also trembled when I flung my arms about you,” she reminded him shyly.

“And you were so handsome, and your body was throwing out so much heat it kept me toasty warm beside you. You...well, I did not dislike it. Maybe I did realize a little that your reaction to me was not, well, not of repulsion even from that point.”

“Repulsion? I should say not! You drove me wild.”

“Then, you were always saying things,” she said vaguely.

“What kind of things?”