Page 15 of A Montana Fake Marriage (Sagebrush Ranch Sweethearts #1)

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

What was he doing with his life?

Caleb sat on the edge of his cot. He hadn’t slept well at all.

Hadn’t really slept well since he’d married Sammie, if he was honest with himself.

Christmas had been a month ago, and he still couldn’t bring himself to have that conversation with her—the one where he told her that he might be developing feelings for her.

Might ?

No, he definitely had feelings for her.

It was still dark in their room, but he could tell by the way she slept that her back faced him. Her deep breathing was the only indication that she didn’t suffer with sleeplessness like he did.

Maybe it was a mistake to change the dynamics between them. If she wasn’t struggling like he was, then he could be the one to make everything worse.

Caleb got to his feet. He’d gotten dressed a few minutes ago. No one would be up right now, and he could slip off to the barn to get some work done—or maybe he just wanted some air to clear his head.

He grabbed his boots from where they sat by the door, tossed one fleeting look at Sammie, then ducked out of the room before he did something really stupid, like kiss her goodbye.

Snow still covered the ground. It really looked no different than it had a month ago, save for the lack of Christmas decorations. There were only a few homes visible from where they lived who still had their lights on their homes, the small barely visible glow the only indication.

Caleb pulled his sheepskin coat tight and fastened it. Thankfully, there was no wind—no inclement weather to speak of. In fact, it promised to be a beautiful day. Even right now, he could see every star that dotted the skyline. Not a cloud in sight.

The frigid air nipped at his cheeks, his hands, too, before he shoved them into his pockets.

Sammie’s pretty face filled his thoughts as he trudged through the snow toward the barn.

When she’d come to visit him over the summers while they were in college, she’d enjoyed her trip, but she’d rarely done anything to get to know his family.

She stuck to her room. Clung to him. And visited town for some shopping.

Their lives were so totally different than what he could have ever expected.

Sammie looked like she belonged here. She knew how to handle the animals.

No one had to ask her twice to complete a task—some wranglers even struggled with that.

No, Sammie was a regular cowgirl now, and he couldn’t help but be impressed by her.

If he wasn’t already married to her, he would have been instantly drawn to her.

He shook his head as he stomped off the snow from his boots and entered the barn. His attraction to her wasn’t just about how she’d put aside her preconceived notions of working a ranch. He’d cared for her before she started pitching in. And no one could deny that she was beautiful.

Why was it so difficult to just come out and tell her that he cared for her? Why couldn’t he just spit it out?

Caleb stopped in the middle of the barn and glanced around him. He loved this life. He’d known he wanted to be part of it the second his uncle had invited his family to do so. There hadn’t been a question where his loyalties would lie.

Was that the reason he’d dismissed any attraction he had for Sammie in the beginning? Before he’d gone and turned their lives upside down, he’d never considered marrying her for love. He’d never thought she’d want this life.

Now he wasn’t so sure.

And perhaps that was why he was too nervous to bring up his affections. There were two big reasons.

She could turn him down—not share his feelings.

And there was a chance that the second she got her inheritance, then she’d want to return to the life she’d led before. Just because she’d found a way to be happy here didn’t mean she wanted it to stay that way.

There was definitely still a part of her that would always want the finer things. People simply didn’t change that part of themselves.

Where Caleb preferred to save for the future and the possibility of a disaster striking his family, Sammie had never had those concerns.

Her parents had enough money that they wouldn’t be able to spend it all if they tried.

Caleb didn’t need that much. He just liked the security of knowing he’d be able to weather any storm that crossed his path.

The money he’d been saving was more than enough to do that for him.

The sound of feet crunching through the stale snow outside drew his attention, and he turned to find Mack as he entered. He stomped off his feet and shivered. His eyes found his brother’s, and for a moment, they just stared. It was too early for either of them to be up yet.

Then Mack grinned. “Can’t sleep?”

Caleb nodded. “You?”

Mack shrugged. “I’m going to town later today. Don’t want Bo breathing down my neck that I didn’t get my work done before.” He moved farther into the barn. “Do your issues with sleep have something to do with a certain wife of yours?”

Caleb ignored his brother’s prodding. He didn’t feel like talking about Sammie with Mack.

His brother had made it more than clear he disagreed with what Caleb and Sammie were doing, but lately, it felt his judgment was directed at the affection Caleb was showing her and not the act of marriage itself.

“You still haven’t told her yet, have you?”

Caleb frowned at his brother, giving him a pointed look. Then he sighed. “What am I supposed to say?” He changed the tone of his voice. “Hey, Sammie, I know I promised that we’d just be friends, and this was nothing except a way to get your inheritance, but I lied.”

Mack snickered. “Well… to be fair, you didn’t lie .”

“I might as well have. I should have known it was going to be near impossible not to have a friendship turn into something else when we’re spending so much time together.”

“You spent loads of time with her before. Since when has that not been a factor?”

Caleb shrugged and headed toward his horse’s stall. If he was lucky, he’d be able to go for a ride before anyone else woke up. He’d wanted to be alone.

“I mean, I get it…” Mack murmured, drawing Caleb’s attention.

“What are you trying to say?” Caleb asked when his brother had made it clear he wasn’t going to continue.

Mack pulled his hat from his head and ran a hand through his hair before returning it.

“Before you came home, you were both concerned about school. You wanted to get through that, and you didn’t have any concerns for anything but graduation.

But then you move in, and you start playing house…

what did you expect would happen? It wasn’t a lie ,” he repeated.

“But it wasn’t exactly a promise you were capable of making.

Has she shown any signs that she might be feeling the same? ”

Caleb hated the fact that he couldn’t recall if he’d seen anything. He glanced at his brother helplessly. “I have no idea.”

In true brotherly fashion, Mack snorted. “Well, maybe you need to figure that out before you say anything.”

“I thought you were on board with me telling her regardless,” Caleb accused. “What happened to being honest with her?” Caleb didn’t even bother to keep his frustration at bay.

“Honestly? I still think you should. You’re only torturing yourself by keeping your feelings a secret. If you say something, then one way or another, you’ll know. She’ll either feel the same, or she’ll laugh and brush you aside.”

He didn’t like the sound of that. To be brushed aside would hurt more than he wanted to admit.

But maybe they could still be friends. His stomach churned with the thought of losing her in any capacity.

He didn’t want to lose her friendship, but he also didn’t want to be stuck in it, either.

“So, you think I should tell her…” he hedged.

“I don’t see how you could lose anything by it.” Mack shrugged. “Can you see yourself with her for longer than this little arrangement? Can you see her becoming the mother to your children?”

He knew the answer to that without needing to consider.

Yes.

Sammie was someone he wanted to raise a family with. She’d be a wonderful mother.

“See? That right there. You give too much away.” Mack pointed to his face. “You can’t just keep her in the dark. Give her a chance.” Mack moved past him to whatever it was he planned on doing this morning.

Caleb turned to watch him and sighed. Mack was wiser than he’d wanted to give him credit for. As terrified as he was about losing Sammie, it was harder to imagine a life without her in it.

Caleb sat with Sammie curled into his side on the couch.

His mother and father were situated on the other side of the sectional.

They’d all just finished movie night, and his brothers had turned in.

Caleb’s fingertips trailed up and down Sammie’s arm.

She hadn’t moved in a while, and he wouldn’t be surprised if she’d fallen asleep.

He’d had every intention of talking to her this evening about his feelings. That was before his parents insisted a family movie night was in order.

His thoughts bounced back to before the movie when his mother had commented on how happy she was that he’d found love. Caleb’s heart still ached somewhat from feeling Sammie stiffen beside him. He hadn’t known what to make of it.

Lately, his parents were pushing them to start the planning for their home. Sammie had been putting it off, and Caleb couldn’t blame her. She probably had zero interest in picking out fixture finishes and styles of trim for a house where she wouldn’t live.

Caleb sighed and rested his cheek against the top of her head. In that moment, he’d nearly given up his plans for telling her. But then his brother’s words came back to him. She needed to know if only so they could figure out where they stood.

His mother caught his eye and smiled. “I meant what I said earlier,” she murmured, leaning against his father. “Nothing makes me happier than knowing you found someone who completes you.”

He swallowed the snort at her comment. While he agreed with the sentiment, it went deeper than feeling as though he was complete when he was with her. Whatever this was, this connection, it was something he didn’t want to live without—didn’t know if he could live without it.

Caleb tightened his gentle hold on Sammie. “Me, too,” he whispered.

His father motioned to Sammie with a chuckle. “Looks like you’re going to have to carry her to bed. I don’t think I’ve seen her move an inch since that last battle scene. Maybe we ought to tell Bo that he’s working her too hard.”

“Somehow, I don’t think she’d approve of you doing any such thing,” Caleb smiled.

Sammie was nothing if not independent. “I think we’ve created a monster.

” He exchanged a look with his mother. She knew what he’d meant by the statement.

She’d known Sammie before she was cut off from her trust fund. This Sammie was different.

“She’s strong,” his mother agreed. There was something in the way she said the compliment that helped him see just how much she adored Sammie. It was a love greater than Sammie’s own father gave her.

If his love for her wasn’t enough, then that feeling of belonging his family could offer her should tip the scales.

He watched his parents rise to their feet and leave the room.

The fire still crackled and popped in the hearth.

The room was dark except for the light cast by the dancing flames.

A gentle sort of silence fell around both of them.

Sammie might be asleep, but she was here. She was within reach. All he had to do was step out of his own way and tell her everything.

He took in a deep, shuddering breath, then he let it out through his lips. “Sammie,” he whispered.

When she didn’t stir, he sighed again. His heart ached from all the thumping it was doing. His hands had gone clammy. Even while she slept, he nearly couldn’t bring himself to tell her how much she meant to him.

“I love you, Sammie,” he whispered again. “I think I always have.”

Still, she didn’t move. He wouldn’t have been surprised if his thundering heart was all it would take to rouse her from her sleep. He traced idle circles on her arm. She wore a sweater, but he could feel the warmth coming off her body.

Caleb lost track of how long they sat there with only the fire to keep them company. Eventually, his heart slowed along with his pulse. He could tell her of his feelings. It might have been terrifying tonight, but he’d done it. He’d do it again.

When she was awake to hear him.

He carefully disentangled himself from beside her and gently slipped his arms around her. When he got to their room, he nudged the door open then carried her across the threshold and over to her bed.

Sammie was a heavier sleeper than he’d expected. He stared down at her, his finger itching to trace the lines of her face. Instead, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her brow. Her breathing remained steady even as she shifted and let out a sleepy moan.

If he didn’t tell her tomorrow, then he’d find a time when the moment was right. The only promise he made himself was that he’d tell her within the next week. That was the deadline he’d set for himself.

As long as the time was right.